X-ray appt

Thank you again for the notes and messages! :) Ann, don't worry, I will not flame you! I appreciate the reminder to keep thinking with my own head. I trust the things I read at Kellymom because they are not just opinions or "preconceived ideas". I specifically like that site because it is so grounded in the latest clinical research, and it references a LOT of it. It pretty much shows that times are changing, new things are being discovered, and it's the sites where doctors say the opposite stuff that make me wary. THOSE seem to me to be the ones that are outdated and not following the latest research. I know they are doctors and it's what we've always heard is best, but that doesn't make it the "truth". I am a research-based girl. It just makes the most sense. And Kellymom is all about that. I AM glad that it tells me my ideas are right, though if it didn't and it had adequate up-to-date research to prove me wrong, I would definitely be considering that and acting accordingly. In my opinion, most doctors these days appear to need seriously re-educating about infant care. That sounds a bit strong, but I think it's true! It's very hard to find a doctor who isn't just churning out advice that they learned from training 20 years ago, or a book 15 years ago, or just because that's what they all tell mothers to do, and always have done. I have come across one doctor so far who has even vaguely researched and changed her thoughts on things like weaning and breastfeeding and things. She hasn't got a clue about co-sleeping though - thinks it's out of the dark ages and can't be right! But you see what I mean? I am READING the latest research, and it is saying very different stuff to what the health profession have always said. In some ways, that is. It's them who need to catch up I think.

Anyway. I am happy with my choices, but it's hard to live with them when others (like health care professionals) can make it hard for you to go ahead and enjoy doing what you know to be the best thing for you baby. I do mean to be flexible too, but I think this IS me being flexible. Only, I'm bending in a direction away from the accepted norm, so people always seem to want to challenge me over it. Doesn't make it wrong though.

Jemma, thanks for the great idea about gluten free rusks!! I hadn't even thought of that. How do you make bread?!?!

Well what can I tell you today? Arthur is a bit better again today - hooray! He did have a bad night though, and was awake for 2 hours from 3am, urgh! I have his cold :( Poo. It hit me like a truck all of a sudden in the middle of the night. One minute I literally felt fine (if knackered), and the next minute I couldn't breathe through my nose and my throat was sore and yucky. I know I have been fighting it off since Thursday (4 days ago!) because I definitely felt like I was coming down with a cold back then. It went off after a couple of days though. Also I know I was exposed to it on Wednesday or earlier because every time Arthur sneezed I got bathed in the face with viral mist! So my guess is that I just got too run down and sleep deprived to continue fighting it off and my body let it win. Poo.

Neil is at work today of course, so I am feeling pretty rotten. I didn't get much sleep, and that on the back of a completely sleepless night is not helping me feel any better! I ache. My glands hurt, my head aches, my eyes prickle, my nose runs and runs, and I am sneezing over and over like Arthur was. Now I know how bad he felt, and I feel for him even more, no matter that he is getting much better now. Poor poor baby. What a thing to go through when you're only a baby and never felt ill before!

I haven't felt up to doing much with him today, and he has taken longer naps than normal so that has been a relief. I have not been able to get any sleep while he napped though. I took him to his appt at the hospital today. He had a hip X-ray, and he was as good as gold. He lay perfectly still and let me hold his knees together really firmly like they showed me to. He didn't squirm or move at all till they were done with the X-ray. I wore one of those lead apron things that nearly crushed me into the floor with the weight of it! After that we took the X-ray to the physio and she showed me that Arthur's hips are perfect - hooray! His tiny little bones looked so cute on the X-ray!

He doesn't have to wear night boots any more!! Yay! His right foot is still a tad skewy, so I have to do regular stretches on it throughout the day. We see her again on July 18th for reassessment. He will be bearing weight through his feet more and more around then, so she will have different things to assess him over, apparently. He may need boots or even a set of plasters again if he has trouble with them when he starts to stand by himself and walk. I hope he won't and everything will be fine now.

I have neeearly finished the Cuddlebuns nappy I have been sewing! Sooo nearly. I have been hammering snaps on it today! Arthur loves watching me do that. He giggles every time the hammer goes BANG on a snap! He's funny :) But he got bored with three snaps to go, so I haven't quite finished it yet. The moment I have, I will take a photo and rush to put the nappy on Arthur's bum! I love putting my own nappies on his bott. I feel so accomplished when I see them there looking cute! I have already started cutting out fabric for another Cuddlebun. I have soooooo much cute fabric. And a place to sew again! And Arthur needs nappies that fit him. Cuddlebuns seem to fit him just nicely at the moment.

I feel bad this afternoon because I decided to help Arthur to get to sleep by himself for his nap. He was sleepy at 3pm, so I took him up to bed. I nursed him, and he didn't fall asleep like that, so after I burped him, I just said "Night night Arthur, sleepy time" and put him down on the bed, and walked across the hall to the other bedroom (where I use the computer). He babbled and rolled for ages, and I went in after 5 minutes or so. I put him back in the spot I first laid him in, and said, "Night night Arthur, sleepy time" and went out again. He made some cross noises after a while and when I went back in I just did the same thing over and over. And over. He got crosser and crosser. He even cried. I went to him every time he cried, but he was so not happy. Finally around 5pm (two hours later!) - I can't believe I had that much patience, though I nearly gave up several times - I stayed with him on the bed and patted his back regularly. He complained but he was so tired out that he just went to sleep. I feel awful that he cried a lot over this. At the moment I'm still not crazy about nursing him to sleep because that is giving him a LOT of milk, which I'm not sure he's okay with just yet. Also I was just feeling too ill and tired to rock him for ages until he slept. So this had to be it. Or just get him up again and not give him a nap.

Anyway he slept. Oh he is suddenly awake and crying! Back later.

Okay I'm back again. He woke right up and cried a lot, but I saw that he was still sleepy so I went in and said, "It's okay Arthur, Mummy's here." and patted his little back till he put his head back down and closed his eyes again. He did keep on whimpering for a bit, but he went to sleep.

I feel somehow like I'm not doing this right. He is teething so badly today. His cheeks are red and swollen and his is constantly biting on his hands. Should I not be doing the sleep thing while he's having teething trouble? Somehow it doesn't seem fair. Urgh. All my instints say DON'T do stuff to make him cry, even helping him to sleep by himself. When I try to work against my instincts, I feel totally lost. I have no sense of direction in what I'm doing, and I doubt my abilities as his Mummy, and lose track of my goals, etc. It makes me wonder WHY I am trying to work against my instincts in the first place. But I wanted him to know how to fall asleep by himself, so that he can start to get to sleep quicker and easier. But then, is that just for my benefit? I don't know anymore. All I know is, I feel happy that he fell asleep by himself, but sooooo bad about how that happened. It doesn't seem worth it to me. I don't know what to do next.

He's crying again. I have to go. Back asap!