Four weeks in with six littles

Elijah is 4 weeks old! I need to update my pregnancy blog (where I keep posting about the baby's development and my recovery until about 6 weeks or so postpartum). We have done our first week with Neil back at work, and it did not go too badly! There were the usual ups and downs. I got such reassurance from reading my blog entries after each baby (mainly in my pregnancy blog) at the 3-6 week point, and finding that no matter the type or personality of baby I'd had, there were always the moments where it felt utterly impossible, and I absolutely did not know how I would manage. There were always the moments where I sat in tears saying, "I can't do it, Lord!" and it seems to be normal for me to be always feeling exhausted and moving about at running pace, sweating like crazy! Fitting in my own needs for food, drink, rest and the toilet is always hard, but not as impossible as I used to think it was. Last year's kidney stone might have something to do with me managing to find a way to keep my fluids up this time though! ;) I had forgotten how "normal" all those things are for me, in the first month or few with a new baby, so it was reassuring to read about the previous times.

Tomorrow is Monday, and another week begins with me in the role of mother-of-six-children-aged-7-and-under. I decided to make a plan for the week, because I am CLUELESS about how to go about looking after six small children (honestly, completely clueless). I have prayed about it ("Lord, please give me wisdom and guidance because I have no idea what I'm doing, and I need you!!!") and decided to plan a bit. I am not even sure whether that's a good idea, because deciding I should or shouldn't be achieving X, Y, or Z goals could be the wrong thing to do, and make things more difficult. I don't want to put too much on my plate - maybe the right thing to do is to free-wheel for another few weeks to get through the newborn phase and my own recovery from birth, like we spent last week doing? I don't know.

The thing that made me think to plan a bit for the week, is that we're about to start the last week of June - ALREADY!!! Then there's the first week of July, and THEN the plan was to start school again. That's just "this week and next week", which is suddenly very scary! I know things can change a lot in a couple of weeks with a very little baby, but still - yikes! I don't know how I am going to do homeschooling in just two short weeks when I can barely manage to remain standing with the children dressed for the day (they haven't been that even, some days) by evening time!! So I thought a simple (SIMPLE) plan might be a good idea to start getting myself into gear slowly.

Last week, like I said, we "free-wheeled". That is, my only goal was to keep myself and the children fed and hydrated, maintain nappy changes for FOUR children who are full-time in nappies (urgh) and basically survive. My biggest challenge, which I was nervous about before it all started, was to juggle naps for Samuel and Elijah. Samuel (who just turned 18 months, can you believe it?!?!) still nurses to sleep, and needs a nap mid-to-late morning. He gets up early for the day, usually 5.30am or thereabouts, and is tired out by 10am. This is GOOD, because he sleeps the rest of the morning and wakes up in time for lunch (noon-ish). Then he is good and tired at bedtime because it's been a while since he napped. I do NOT let him nap after lunch. It bodes badly for bedtime and night sleep! So I am glad that he takes naps in the morning and really try to encourage this. The problem is, Elijah is a pretty fussy baby and cries a lot of the time he is awake. He will not settle in the morning at ALL. He gets tired and will go to sleep if rocked/walked/breastfed/bounced in the bouncy chair enough, but usually I need to rotate all of the above until finally one of them gets him to sleep. This eats up ALL my time in the morning. I gave up trying quite so hard by Wednesday, as I had been spending most of the morning up in the bedroom trying to get him sleeping, but he would just wake up soon after going off to sleep so I would have to start all over again. Meanwhile the kids had no Mummy around, and Samuel was not getting his nap until way too late, and was tired and sad. I was stressed about all of those things and it was not a fun way to spend a morning! So, noticing that Elijah wouldn't stay settled and asleep in any case, I decided to just do all the usual things to settle him whilst downstairs with the boys, and not stress over the fact that he just wouldn't sleep or stay asleep all morning. That made things much easier, emotionally, but it still meant that I couldn't spent the 10-15 minutes needed to shut Samuel and myself in the bedoom and breastfeed him and start his nap. On Thursday (I think), Elijah actually went off to sleep for long enough, and at the right time in the morning, to get Samuel down for his nap! Great feeling! He is very unpredictable still, and most of the time there isn't a window. Whenever this occurred with Samuel (as the baby) and I was trying to get Benjamin down for a nap, he wasn't as young as Elijah and also was a VERY contented happy baby. I could just put him in the bouncy chair and ask Arthur to watch him for me and give him toys or bounce him a bit, while I put Benjamin to bed. I don't feel safe doing that with Elijah when he's this young, and also he's NOT happy for more than a minute or so! So this is still hit-and-miss, and will continue to be through the week ahead, but hopefully it will go okay...

Elijah does tend to sleep much better in the afternoon, but every time I think I can see a predictable pattern emerging, I soon learn that not everything is as it seems! ;)
The boys have done pretty well. They have watched waaaaay too much TV. We have found YouTube videos that have kept them really entertained. They have never seen Looney Tunes cartoons, Wacky Races, and things like that, before now. There are so many of those available on YouTube! So they have really enjoyed those, and spent most of their days laughing until their sides hurt! ;) They particularly like the roadrunner/coyote ones, and Tom and Jerry. I sometimes sit and laugh my sides sore right along with them! The three older boys have "quiet time" whenever they want to upstairs in their bedroom, usually only one or two at a time though otherwise it's anything but quiet! ;) They play with Lego, Lincoln Logs, and jigsaws mainly, and can enjoy that for hoooouuurs. The littler ones are happy downstairs anyway, which is good! Other than that, it's a boring old time for them while I adjust to managing, and try to ride out Elijah's "fussy" stage, which I know he'll grow out of, but it's not easy meanwhile. The bonus for the boys is that they now have a LOT of brothers to play with! Benjamin is nearly 3 and totally a part of the "older set" in terms of play, now. He's assertive, confident, and picks things up quickly, so although he's quite young really, he's well in there with them! Four little boys can play together, pair up in various ways, three of them can play together, etc. They are less and less listless and bored, the more siblings they have, as they have a lot of playmates now and really enjoy each other's company which is lovely to see.

Anyway,  must post this before I run out of time or Elijah has a few troubled hours and before I know it, I need to go to bed! I wanted to write out my simple goals for the week, sort of to keep track, but also so that I can look back on how I tried to manage things in the early weeks with a new baby, when I'm next in that position. I just want to have one thing to check off in terms of the boys, another in terms of the house, and a SIMPLE meal plan. Simple as in meals that are easy to make, as easy as possible really, even if they're not the ideal.

Okay now it's time I went to bed (much later in the day!) and Elijah is waking up about 5 minutes after I put him down, fast asleep. He's been up all evening, mostly crying, which isn't unusual for this little manny. Neil is wonderful and gets very involved, walking with him in his arms and all that stuff that I don't have the physical stamina for yet. We go back and forth when Elijah is crying for the whole evening, I breastfeed him and snuggle him on my front (sometimes he goes off this way if I'm patting his back), or else bounce him in the bouncy chair (Neil says he can't seem to do the rhythm that Elijah settles with, like I do). When those things don't work to settle him, Neil paces the living room with him. We often put worship music on. Elijah really likes music and often calms right down when he hears it. Anyway, must just copy and paste my plan for the week and then get ready for bed. Neil is walking with Elijah right now and I need to finish this quick. I am planning to get to bed at 10 or 10.30 this week as much as possible, even earlier if I can. Right now it's 10.40, which isn't ideal. The nights are REALLY broken so I need to get as much sleep as I can.

Week commencing 25th June 2012

Elijah is 4 weeks old. My "goal" with him this week is to try to establish some sort of pattern for his sleep/wake/nap/feeding by the end of the week. NOT a schedule, just a feel for his rhythm, as something to build on for the following week.

Monday 25th

* Appointments - none
* Meal - Vegetable soup, rice, grated cheese.
* Goal with children - Read stories (two different sessions for two different age ranges)
* Household goal - Laundry: 2-3 loads, including sorting and sweeping the kitchen floor afterwards.
* Meal prep needs - Thaw a "meat base" for Shepherd's Pie tomorrow.

Tuesday 26th

* Appointments - none
* Meal - Shepherd's Pie
* Goal with children - loads of jigsaws together. Get out ones they haven't done for ages.
* Household goal - Fold and put away laundry.
* Meal prep needs - Make mashed potato at 3.45pm. Top the Shepherd's Pie and bake 45mins around 4.15ish.

Wednesday 27th

* Appointments - Health Visitor coming here 10.30am.
* Meal - Beans on toast (boys). Salmon in white wine sauce with pasta and veg (us, later).
* Goal with children - Bake cookies or equivalent.
* Household goal - Tidy and sweep living room
* Meal prep needs - Get salmon out to thaw (am).

Thursday 28th

* Appointments - none, but put bins/recycling out for collection first thing.
* Meal - Macaroni cheese
* Goal with children - Do a prepared craft activity with them (prepare this one evening).
* Household goal - Dishwasher catch-up
* Meal prep needs - Start dinner at 4.30pm

Friday 29th

* Appointments - none, but remember to make/finish Tesco order online for delivery tomorrow.
* Meal - Pot roast
* Goal with children - read stories (two sessions for two age ranges)
* Household goal - Clean something in the bathroom (preferably the toilet, ew)
* Meal prep needs - Start the crockpot at breakfast time.

Saturday 30th

* Appointments - Tesco delivery in the morning.
* Meal - Pot roast sandwiches (lunch); Pasta with tomato/pesto sauce and cheese (dinner)
* Goal with children - 1-on-1 time (Mummy); Outing (Daddy)
* Household goal - buy and install a new toilet seat
* Meal prep needs - Make sure crockpot is clean; Put chicken in crockpot overnight.

Sunday 1st July

* Appointments - Cameron's 21st Birthday. Go to cemetary if chance.
* Meal - Chicken pasta bake.
* Goal with children - 1-on-1 time (Mummy); Outing (Daddy)
* Household goal - Plan next week; check bedding, change any/all if necessary.
* Meal prep needs - Use whole chicken from the crockpot to make chicken pasta bake starting at 3.45pm; use the rest to make 2 chicken and vegetable pies for the freezer (takes ages so use every free moment you have).

So that is the plan! I am not necessarily expecting to even get all of those simple goals met every day, but I'm going to try, especially where the children are concerned. I am not sure about the prepared craft thing - I SO want to, and they would so love it, but I am not sure if I will get chance on any evening to prepare such a thing. We'll see. I haven't written on the plan, but I also need to make sure I meet my own needs for 6-8 tall glasses of water per day and my vitamins. I started on Pregnacare breastfeeding/postnatal vitamin supplements at the HV's suggestion and I am remembering them for the most part. Also I am trying to eat well! Breastfeeding 3 littles here, including a very-frequently-feeding newborn! Neeeeeed to eat and drink well.

Okay, that's it. Elijah is awake and crying and I need to get ready for bed and take him with me so that Neil can go to bed. I hope he won't be up for a long time into the night, but we'll just have to see.

Elijah has arrived!

I'm a bit late on updating this blog! I've been writing at my pregnancy blog frequently for a few weeks though, before and after Elijah was born, so you can catch up there in more detail if you don't follow that blog.

Elijah Douglas was born on Sunday 27th May at 2.20pm. He is my littlest (term) baby yet, having been "small for dates" in the last couple of months before he was born. He weighed in at 6lbs 8oz which isn't too bad at all! Such a sweet little bundle!

This photo was taken when he was 8 days old at a photo shoot my friend Paul from church kindly did for us, for free! He has never done newborn photography before, and I love how his photos turned out! To see the rest of them, I posted them here at my pregnancy blog yesterday.

Elijah was born at home, although we were back and forth on that because my waters broke 2 days before. In the end, there were no complications (other than a true knot in his cord, but he was FINE), labour was 3 hours-ish and all went well. I haven't written a complete birth story yet, but I wrote quite a bit of it here if you are interested. I will hopefully get round to writing a proper one when my doula gives me her notes so I can compile them with my memories of the experience! :)

Elijah is just over 2 weeks old now. He is doing great, feeding and growing well. He hasn't been weighed over the last 5 days, but the last time he was, he weighed 7lbs 2oz. He is going to be weighed again by the Health Visitor the day after tomorrow, so we'll see how much he weighs then! He feeds a lot, and has no particular pattern. Just lots! ;) He sleeps pretty well between feeds at night, and we are co-sleeping - this is the first time we have no baby bed set up anywhere in the house for a new baby! No crib, cot, Moses basket, nothing. He sleeps with me, since it went so wonderfully exclusively co-sleeping with Samuel for 16 months. I guess that is the plan, to do the same thing this time with Elijah, if it goes just as well. I love it! :)

The boys love him! Oh they love him! Arthur has been so excited, and Matthew too. The little ones ask to see him all the time - I have mainly been resting up for the first 2 weeks postpartum, like we have been doing since the 4th baby (Benjamin) was born. It makes a big difference to my recovery. Usually Neil goes back to work after 2 weeks, but Elijah's birth was timed very appropriately with the Queen's Jubilee weekend right afterwards, and that meant two bank holiday days within Neil's paternity leave (thus two extra days!). Matthew's 6th birthday is this Thursday (how on earth is my second son six already?!!!) so Neil had already booked that day off work as a holiday. His company have kindly cleared his calendar for the whole of this week since there was only really Friday left at work, and I have the luxury of my sweet hard-working hubby at home for THREE whole weeks after Elijah was born! He has been wonderful, so wonderful. He has done everything with/for the boys, including bedtime with all 5 for the first 2 or 3 nights without me, as I was either sleeping or breastfeeding. Since then I have breastfed Samuel (and sometimes Benjamin) at bedtime as usual, either with Elijah asleep in the other bedroom, or with Neil holding Elijah and having some bonding time, if he's awake. But Neil has done all the meals, nappy changes (except Elijah's of course!), outings, laundry, dishes, night wakings for the boys (Elijah's are obviously my responsibility!), everything. He has also brought me almost all of my meals in bed for nearly two straight weeks. He brings me water to drink, painkillers when I've needed them, and made sure I have everything I need. He has helped me when Elijah has had a couple of really fussy evenings and was FULL of milk but would not settle, by walking the house with him snuggled against his chest. My legs are jelly if I try to do that, which is normal for me so soon after having a baby.

He is such a WONDERFUL husband and daddy! I know he has been tired out with the boys' antics and not enough sleep at night sometimes. They haven't always been easy to manage! He is getting a better understanding for some of the things I deal with in the long hours that he's at work in the weekdays - those occasional times when I phone him saying I don't know what to DO with these kiddies, and I can't do it!! He totally GETS that now. ;)

Samuel is doing well with Elijah's arrival. He loves his new baby brother and is very interested in him. He likes to stroke him or pat him gently on his tummy. He is having a LOT of screaming tantrums, including rolling about the floor and banging his head purposely on whatever he finally rolls into (wall, table leg, etc.). I think some of that is probably to do with a new baby arriving, but he was doing it to a lesser extent before Elijah arrived, so I think it's partly the age/stage he's coming to. He definitely seems happier when I am downstairs snuggling him on the sofa or letting him breastfeed, and I am beginning to do that more and more now that I'm getting back to normal activities. I know he will settle more as I am back to normal more. But he's otherwise happy and settled, and enjoying his baby brother. He's still such a baby himself, at just 17 months!!! He looks ENORMOUS to me now, as the next baby up always does when a new one comes, but he's still my baby Samuel-beep! :)

Benjamin seems to be having no issues with Elijah, which is encouraging - usually it's the nearly-or-just-turned 3-year-old who has the most trouble adjusting, for our kiddies. Nathan didn't seem particularly troubled when Samuel was born (he was a few weeks from turning 3) so maybe it makes a difference that there are more older siblings who are thrilled and excited about the new baby? I don't know. Anyway, Benjamin is the youngest so far to have 2 little siblings, at 2 years and 10 months old. He will be 3 next month! Can't beliiieeeeve it! But he's doing great, and very keen on "The Lijah", as he pronounces Elijah's name! :) Nathan loves to see and stroke Elijah, and comments fondly on his every little twitch or squeak. He's just as happy to run off and play the moment he's distracted from Elijah though - he seems very settled in himself which is good to see! We will see how we all deal with the changes when Daddy goes back to work next Monday! :S I hope things will go smoothly. We are not planning to do any school work at all until July, so it will just be basically me adjusting gradually to the normal activity/workload of a 12-hour day without Neil around, and learning to juggle six little boys, and settling Elijah into some sort of routine of naps and feeds, etc. I'm actually feeling confident and looking forward to the challenge, which is good! :) I'm sure there will be bumps along the way, and days where I have no idea what I'm doing or how on earth I will cope! That seems to be normal after each baby.

I am doing fine, recovering quicker this time than after any of the others. Maybe it was the full night of sleep I had before the birth, the breakfast I ate hours before labour started, or the short labour itself that didn't drain me as much as longer ones would? Maybe it was the lack of stitches (for the first time, yay!!!) and pain therefore? I don't know. I have felt stronger much much sooner this time, and have been up and about sooner too. I did have a blocked duct in my breast last week, and ended up with a low fever and feeling really achy and fluey for a day or two. With Heather's help and advice, I managed to overcome that with massage, hot and cold compresses and LOTS of breastfeeding, and the lump has gone and I feel fine - phew! I have had a lot of headaches, but I seem to have allergies to something or other, especially when it's a windy day and I have the window open all the time. I sneeze a lot and get awful sinus pain in my face that nothing will fix, urgh. I have had a fine itchy rash on my face as well, which is weird, but it's mild and it comes and goes. No idea what I'm allergic to, as I never used to have allergies and have never had testing. Anyway, headaches, blah. But at least they are not there all the time.

I am so delighted with my tiny manny! He's just such a sweet little baby, and I love him so much! I'm so relieved that he's here safely, after a few worrying moments along the way when I was pregnant, and when my waters broke but labour didn't start. SO relieved and happy! :) He is waking up for a feed now, so I will stop. Here are a few photos of Elijah, taken 2 hours after he was born, when all his big brothers came in to meet him - look at Arthur's expression in the first one! That sums his whole experience up. He is SO thrilled! :) Elijah was 4 hours old in the last photo.

Here he is at 6 days old, sleeping where he always does, on my bed with me! :)

Off to feed my tiny sweetie! :)