Saturday, 14 January 2006

Long overdue update, and a few photos!

Ohhhhhh I am so annoyed that it has taken me this long to update!! It has been crazy busy around here. Or not busy as such, just no time somehow. We are so completely exhausted at the moment because we have been staying up late getting things done that are long overdue (like sometimes a pregnancy diary entry for me, or the extremely long-winded work of transferring SIX HOURS of camcorder footage of Arthur's first year (and my pregnancy with him) onto a video tape for my mum's birthday. Her birthday is in 3 days and I just finished it this morning. Poor Arthur has had slightly less attention and focus from me than usual as a result, for the last few days! I stay up till midnight doing the video stuff every night after he has FINALLY gone to sleep (except when I update my diary instead or something), and still don't get finished! I'm so glad it's done!

The great thing is that I got to watch it all back, and it has brought back so many wonderful memories. I am SO thankful for our camcorder! We captured some priceless moments, like Arthur's first laugh. Lots of clips of him laughing, actually. I could spend the rest of my whole life just listening to his laugh. It's the best sound ever :) We have footage of him hiccupping in the womb, kicking weird shapes all over my belly, and then we have labour, birth, and all the firsts - smile, laugh, sitting, solids, standing, crawling, cruising, babbling, walking, and the First Birthday of course! It just filled my whole spirit to bursting to watch it all back. I am so blessed to have such a special little boy! I absolutely can't get my head around the fact that I'm getting another one (well, baby, but I feel sure it's another boy) to do everything all over again! I'm so happy :)

It's so amazing how since I have been a mother, I have been able to feel extremes of things that I never reached before, and more weirdly - both opposites of those extremes at the same time. Right now I am so ultra happy with my life and my baby boy and another on the way. I keep thinking how I just love it so much that I wouldn't change a THING. But at the exact same time I am so dog tired that I can't even describe it here. This is due to Arthur's sleep and stuff. Which I would DEFINITELY change if only I could! I go from rose-tinted glasses to total despair over the sleep issues and exhaustion in a split second, but never lose either one of those feelings while I'm feeling the other one. If that makes sense! It's a weird way to feel!

I am trying VERY hard not to think about what Sprout's sleep might be like after he/she is born. I mean, I know at first it will be tiiiring for Mummy! But I honestly want to curl up on the floor and cry if I even consider the possibility that Sprout might be the same way inclined as Arthur in the sleep department. I really don't know if I could cope if that was the case. My health visitor told me that Arthur's sleep issues would be considered some of the most severe at a child sleep clinic (which she keeps trying to refer us to)!

I don't know. I sometimes think that he sleeps as badly as he does because of the way we've done things with him, the co-sleeping and demand breastfeeding day and night, and everything so totally attached. I always used to let him nurse to sleep, and so I sometimes wonder if that "did it" to him. But when I am less irrational in my mind about it, I realise that none of these things caused him to be this difficult with sleep. He just IS. Some babies are by nature, and others are not. I wasn't the easiest sleeper when I was a baby, although my parents had comparitively less trouble with it than we are having because they did what everyone did in those days, everything by a schedule, own cot, own room, and cry-it-out. I think they would have had a lot more trouble getting sleep otherwise! Then my brother came along. By 3 months old (or even a bit younger I think) he was sleeping SIX PM TO EIGHT AM!!! Every night. No peeps, nothing. Some babies just are like that, and others just are NOT. Arthur is not. I just hope and pray that Sprout will be a good sleeper by nature! Otherwise I don't know what to do. I think I will have no choice (if I'm going to stay sane) but to do things differently this time around, which makes me feel sad, but I honestly can't do it again. I sometimes don't know how I am coping with things NOW, let alone the last 14 months.

Arthur is 14 months old!! A few days ago :) I changed my breastfeeding blinkie again! He is still going strong. I don't know that he gets much milk at all but he loves to comfort nurse, and you would NOT believe how happy I am to just be a "human pacifier". I hear so many complaints about that term, as in, mothers don't want to BE that, but I do. My Babycentre update arrived in my inbox a couple of days ago about "Your 14-month-old", where it told me that most 14-month-olds are attached to a blankie or stuffed toy by now, and many are still sucking a thumb or dummy. Maybe Arthur wouldn't naturally have gone for those things anyway, but it made me feel GREAT because he has never shown any interest in forming comfort attachments of any sort. He nurses on demand so if he has a need to suck, I meet it immediately. The update said to encourage the attachment to the blankie/soft toy, because it would help the child when they were apart from you. Wha???! Arthur has never been apart from me. Ever. I forgot that until I thought back and realised that in 14 months he has never known a moment without me near him. Sometimes he goes out with Neil for a couple of hours but he is attached to his daddy too. Twice I have been out of the house without him. Once to the doctor's when I had a womb infection at 12 days postpartum, but he slept in his Moses Basket from before I left till way after I came back, so he never knew. And Neil was with him. And the other time when I had my hair cut in about 15 minutes flat at a hairdresser down the road when he was a few months old. I can't remember if he was asleep at the time or just doing something with Neil while I was out. Anyway, he hasn't known a single second of his life without me or Neil right there.

People are starting to question this about our parenting. My grandparents keep suggesting that they take Arthur out one day, for the sole reason that it will give him a chance to be without me or Neil for a while so he can get used to it for when the new baby comes. They said, "I mean, he's not going to have you around like this after the new baby is here!" Um. Why not?! I didn't say that, but I just thanked them and said I would think about it. Urgh. Sometimes I just feel on a different wavelength to the people that question stuff about how we are choosing to raise Arthur. They don't understand our choices at ALL, so it's hard to reason with them over it. Not that we should have to, but I like to be understood and not have people just thinking we are doing something stupid, so I try.

EVERYONE at church is from the opposite viewpoint to ours over attachment parenting and stuff. Except something REALLY interesting happened at church on Sunday (yes, we actually went to church!!!!). One of my friends there has an 18-month-old who is very highly strung, let's say. That isn't how I want it to sound, but I can't think of a better description off the top of my head. He seems to me to be such an insecure little boy. He cries at the SLIGHTEST thing, and his mum tells me he won't tolerate anybody else except his parents. He will cry for like 10 full minutes over the smallest thing, even when he is being cuddled better by his mummy. Arthur and him stand out from each other so markedly (people comment on it) at creche, as they are such complete opposites. I know Arthur is laid-back by nature, but he just never cries about things. If he is knocked down by another little one, he doesn't cry, he just wears a "bothered" expression, looks thoughtful for a moment, then picks up the nearest toy and plays with it. He is the same way if he falls when he is walking. This other little boy had both the same situations that same day and screamed (my ears even buzzed!) for ten minutes after each occasion. He is like that a lot though.

Anyway, it was interesting that his mum approached me and asked things about Arthur, like how was he with his grandparents, and how does he react when we leave him. So I said, "I have no idea. I have never left him." She seemed so surprised, and we talked about it for a long time. She is pregnant too (due two days after me!) and I think she is looking to make some changes in the way they do things with their second little one, to avoid the problems they have encountered so far. It's funny how that seems to be the way it goes, with your first child being a learning curve and then making adjustments from your accumulated knowledge and experience the second time around! I'm sure the second time will be another whooole new learning curve though!

Anyway. I plan to stay just as attached to Arthur after Sprout is here as I am now. I don't see why I would need to be any less. I think it will be hard, but that's not a reason not to do it really. Except maybe with the sleep, because I need my sleep like nothing else at the moment, and I'm sure it will be even more so when I am looking after a newborn at night too. That's why we are trying to gently encourage Arthur into sleeping through the night and sleeping more independently, ready for when we desperately need to just SLEEP at night or else be focusing on the tiny one, nothing more. It's going very slowly though, as we are trying to make it as gentle as possible for Arthur.

He is currently night-weaned, between midnight and 6am. He NEVER gets the breast during that time. I did nurse him through the night when he was poorly with his cold though, and once the other night because he is teething badly at the moment. I will always do that if he is ill or teething or frightened or something at night. But otherwise he is now used to not getting nursed in that window. But he is STILL waking throughout the night!!!! I can find no reason for it, and the method we've been using swears that my baby is now sleeping peacefully through the night, and so sure of that fact that they don't even offer troubleshooting help or anything! So I don't know what to do. Except be very very very tired. All. The. Time.

His day naps are worse than before too, as he now only takes two half-hour naps in the day, and those are touch-and-go. He wakes easily, and if he does then there is no WAY he will consent to being put back down for some more sleep, even if he is dropping with exhaustion. It can be so frustrating! He gets so tired out and still remains just as wakeful and unwilling to take longer naps. Sometimes it drives me crazy. I think more so because I am so tired. I don't know how much of it is pregnancy tiredness, but yeah.

Bedtimes have become more difficult lately. He is taking an hour or more to go to sleep (with me next to him or nursing him), and keeps on sitting up and asking for a drink for the 50 millionth time, and patting me (none-too-gently!), etc. It's so sweet, and I never withhold drinks of water at his thirstiest time of day (especially now I don't really have much milk), but it does DRAG bedtime out a lonnng time. And so we have enough time to eat dinner and do very little before needing to go to bed ourselves. Arthur is lately waking in the evenings at least once too, which is hard.

I love being a 24-hour parent (who isn't?!) but sometimes I get shamefully resentful because I LONG to just have a predictable block out of the 24 hour period to just SLEEP. Which shouldn't be too much for a human being to ask, should it?! Even 5 hours would be nice. Just solid sleep, where I know I won't be interrupted and I can just relax into my pillow without the tension over how soon Arthur will wake and how much sleep I might manage to get before then. And then when he wakes sooner than I had hoped, how long there is left in the night, and therefore how many times he might wake yet, and thus how on EARTH am I going to cope with his active little self the next day when I am so sleep-deprived and exhausted? I am just feeling tired of the ongoingness of it, night after night for fourteen months.

But I hate that I am complaining about anything to do with being Arthur's Mummy. Hate it. But the feelings are still there all the same. I just so desperately want to sleep. If I say that out loud then it automatically makes me cry. I hate that I am gradually becoming less tolerant of things in the day, and more snappy with Arthur sometimes. I HATE that. I know it is just that I am so so so tired at the time, but I still hate it. Arthur can't help it. Or if he can, he doesn't know how. He's too little.

Anyway, you see? I can not do this again, with Sprout. It HAS to be different. I think I might die otherwise. Which obviously is a stupid thought/thing to say, but I just really really have to get better sleep the next time around. Somehow. I hope Sprout will be easier about it by nature because I dread having to enforce anything to get my sleep, if it becomes necessary further down the line. Urgh.

End of waffle on sleep!

I should go to bed now. It's 11.30pm. But I have SO much that I should catch up on about life and about Arthur and everything.

Neil had a job interview over Christmas. We had to come home from France a day early to accommodate his second interview. We were excited because they seemed really interested in him, but then they told him he didn't get the job. So, oh well. He was really disappointed, but he will keep applying and we just wait and see where God will lead us next. Finances are still up a certain creek without a paddle, but life goes on! Arthur has no socks that fit him, but I feel GREAT tonight because I just won a big lot of 23 pairs of socks in his size at eBay, for a few £ - all exactly the kind of designs I would have wanted to go out and buy for him new! And twenty three pairs!!!!! We will never have a sock crisis again, hehe! Until he outgrows them, that is. Little things thrill me :) Especially when they cost next to no money.

Oooh I am on a "housewife" kick at the moment! Hehe! I think it's a pregnancy-related thing, because it is soooo not normal for me! I just want to clean and sort and declutter ALL the time! I lie awake at night (during my precious sleep time!) fantasising about transforming the kitchen and exactly how I will go about cleaning the floor, etc! I also feel so eager to do lots of the little DIY jobs that we never finished around the house. I'm glad of it, whatever the source! It feels great to actually DO these things, because it makes me feel like I'm doing something constructive at last. Plus things get done. And I get such a buzz from a newly decluttered area, or a door that hasn't closed for years that finally latches neatly shut because I took a hammer and chisel to the frame and made a proper latch :) But lately it's ALL I want to do. That and sew.

Arthur surprised me lately by developing new anxieties - I thought he never had ANY! But he has suddenly become anxious (read: terrified) about any machine that makes noise. Pretty much. Or at least, the ones he isn't used to at the moment. For now, this means the hoover (streaming tears and wails of terror - VERY unlike Arthur), the hairdryer, and the sewing machine. So I have to sew when Arthur isn't around. Except yesterday I had to sew something urgently in the day, and it was only a tiny thing, so I sewed with him on my lap just because I couldn't bear to see him so terrified and clingy! He still hated it, but he was better on my lap.

I am going off on many little side paths here, and I can't remember my original path! Oh well.

Oh yes, I was going to write that Arthur is teething at LAST!!! He hasn't had a tooth in four months now! But he is about to get a whooole bunch of them at once, I think. I was prepared for that though, because me and my brother both had the same exact teeth that Arthur currently has, at his age (just the six, four at the top, two at the bottom), and then in the space of two months we got six more, including all four first molars. We got the top molars first. Arthur has been teething horribly for a week or so now, only now he is waking crying sometimes and doing the odd dreadful poo and having more nappy rash, etc. So I know we are going to see new teethies! His gum over the two teeth either side of his bottom middle two looks very active. One side has that characteristic "dent" in the gum that happens a few days (three days for Arthur, every time) before the tooth shows through, and he has a top molar coming too. His poor gum is so swollen around that molar, it's enormous. I don't see a dent in the gum yet, but he has white pressure marks there, so it must be soon. Poor baby! He has had the same lovely toothy smile for soooo long now, that I feel sort of sad to see it change. I will miss those two cute little bottom teeth all on their own!

Today Arthur and I walked to the post office! It's only a 5-minute walk there and another 5 minutes back, but that's a LONG walk for a tiny person! Soooo many steps to take! We haven't really gone out for a walk like that before. He was so cute. He held my hand all the way, and his eyes just boggled at every tiny thing he saw as he walked along. I love watching little ones take the world in with their eyes and ears as they go places. He was very excited about the cars on the main road. I had him held tight and safe, but I felt sort of breathless with protectiveness with my tiny person all free of slings and pushchairs and other protective restraints for the first time near a busy road! I had to physically fight the urge to just sweep him up into my arms where he would seem safer and closer to me. I was glad to get back onto a quieter road! I hope it gets easier the more we do it, because I would hate to be a super-paranoid mother all the time. The feeling was overwhelming, almost animalistic. Weird.

Anyway he is walking like a pro all the time now. He is starting to walk very fast when he wants to get somewhere in a hurry, and has attempted a joggy little run twice, but both times he has stumbled over very quickly, hehe! He would LOVE to run, but he will just have to be patient and perfect his walking and balance a bit more first! He walks very carefully around his toys now, instead of ploughing right through them. If he sees a thin path winding around them, he turns this way and that as he walks, to negotiate the spaces between the toys (we DO tidy up from time to time, but you know how it is with toys everywhere in the day!). He walks sideways where the way is narrow, and then forwards again when he is through. I love watching him getting around.

He has started climbing onto his toy garage lately, urgh. He yells out like he just conquered Everest when he gets on top of it - I never let him climb on it so this only happens when my back is turned for a split second, and then I find him kneeling on the second storey with both arms raised in victory! It's plastic and NOT meant to support an Arthur, so I know it is going to end in tears one day if he keeps doing it. I am trying to discourage him, but these days that in itself is an act of encouragement!

Let's see, what is Arthur DOING these days? I try to keep a written record of the stuff he can do now and then, because I know I will want to remember it when I next have a little one his age, etc. Right now I feel like I will remember how old he was when he did such-and-such for EVER, but I know I won't remember for long really. I want to know all these trivial little things, to have them all there to read about, when my memory fades. So I write that he can do this or stack that, and it probably sounds dull or like I'm writing it out of pride or something, but I promise I'm not! I just want to record it. It all goes so fast and I want to cling to every moment of his rapid development. I don't want it to blur between children either, and forget which child was doing what, when.

So, what can I write about? Arthur doesn't say much still. He "talks" constantly, and sounds like he is saying real words, but it is still just babble. He uses all the intonation and stuff that we would use in normal conversation, so sometimes it sounds so funny to hear him chatting away and yet it's not language we can understand at all! He says, "Haaa" for hot, and mama and dada, obviously. He says oven (oh-en), iron (uhn), wow ("aaoohh", still!), hair (heh), ear (eee), eye (ahh), "Row row row" for singing, and "yum yum yum" (a-num-num-num)!! He can point to nose, ear, eye, mouth, hair, and socks. He understands a lot more these days when I talk to him.

He takes his socks off and spontaneously walks with them to the dirty laundry pile and puts them delicately on the top of it! I don't know why he started doing that, but I LOVE it, it's so cute! He also puts his shoes on the shoe pile when we take them off. When his daddy gets ready to go to work in the morning, Arthur goes and gets his own shoes and closes the door behind him, shutting him and Daddy in the porch together, almost as though he is saying he wants to go to work with Daddy! He is very close to Neil these days, but then they did always have a good bond. It's so lovely to see :)

He can twist the dial on his musical toy now, and is starting to wind things up with the same action. He also switches the washing machine OFF or changes the programme when it's running, but turning the dial! Little monkey!

He is seriously into anything dextrous. In France we really noticed that his fine motor skills were coming on well, and that he was preferring to spend nearly ALL of his time working on them - anything to do with his hands. My mum commented that he doesn't play like I did at his age - I was more relational and vocal, talking in sentences by 18 months - but then I think that is more of a girl thing is it not? Anyway she said that Arthur played EXACTLY like my brother did at his age. All with his hands and not much speech yet. He walked earlier than both me and my brother though.

Arthur can stack four large soft cubes in a tower, and can now stack a tower of five wooden bricks. He stacks five stacking cups in the right order, and he puts all the rings on his ring stick thingy. He gets them in the right size order all but one of them, and once he got them all on right. His stacking skills match what Babycentre says for 20-24 months, but then he has really been working on them all the time! He just loves stacking and things like that. He tries to put Duplo pieces together and can now put two pieces of his Mega Blocks together. If I stick a load of Duplo together, he takes great pleasure in taking it all apart piece by piece, never leaving two stuck together anywhere!

He loves containers and lids at the moment, more than anything else, I would say. He loves matching lids to containers, and will try a lid against several containers before he finds the one it fits on. He can fit and clip fast a lid into place, and gets very excited about his achievement when it's done! He loves to put everything in sight into the nearest tub or box. I often find his Duplo tub brimming with stuff, and when I look through it I find (apart from Duplo!), socks, wooden bricks, jigsaw pieces, shape sorter pieces, plastic fruit, lids from tupperware in the kitchen cupboard, a crust of toast, a letter that had come through the door that morning, his sippy cup full of water, and a tambourine! He just loves to clear things away and tidy. He always has shown that trait, but I am still amazed that he does it! Neil and I are SO untidy!!

He brushes his hair with my hairbrush, mostly starting above his ear and brushing upwards and forwards, bless him! He then likes me to kneel down so he can brush mine :) He likes to feed me any of his food that he isn't that keen on! Which is very little at the moment - he is really starting to become more adventurous with food. He still acts suspicious around a new food or new way of presenting a certain food, but he is accepting new things a lot more now. He loves peas and picks them out of his meal to eat them. He still adores raisins, and they will calm ANY upset or tantrum-in-the-making! Who needs chocolate and sweeties when you have raisins?! I think, to Arthur, they are every bit as good as sweets. He just loves them.

He likes cheese at last, and will eat a lump of it as a snack. He also likes cucumber and eats it eagerly in slices, and eventually carefully spits out the rinds! He likes to put anything that has fallen from a spoon, or out of his mouth, carefully back onto the plate or bowl! But then he doesn't like the fact that his hands got messy picking the food up to put it back! He is a tidy boy :) But still very capable of being messy when he wants to!

He eats really well, and his appetite is great. He always has a whole banana for his afternoon snack. Sprout is poking me. It's the weirdest thing that I am going to have another baby, don't you think?! Sometimes when I feel kicks and pokes I just can't believe it's a real baby in there, like Arthur is a real baby. Wow.

Anyway! What else? Oh, one of Arthur's favourite things at the moment is to take out all the food cans in the kitchen cupboard, one by one, and walk them across the kitchen to the chair. Then he will put the can on the chair, and walk back to the cupboard for the next one! He likes to arrange them on the chair, which gets difficult as the seat gets filled with cans. He has to work out where to put his can down without knocking one off, and sometimes one falls down and he stops and picks it up again, and other times he spends ages going all around the chair looking for the best space, and when he finally puts his can in it, he squeals with glee and clenches his fists (something he does when he's very excited or happy!)! When the chair is full or the cupboard has no more cans, he either leaves them all on the chair (job for Mummy!) and does something else, or he reverses the game and takes them one by one back to the cupboard. He really likes arranging them on the shelf and can spend absolutely ages arranging things in the kitchen cupboards! The kitchen is by far his favourite place to be at the moment. He loves the sieves and the tupperware. He loves the glassware (if only I would let him near it) which I NEED to move asap! I am finding more and more obscure things in the washing machine these days when I go to put a laundry load on! I find his hairbrush, a can of tomato soup, a soft stacking cube, two clean wipes and the tea towel - stuff like that! One time I didn't look and put pooey nappies right on top of some of that stuff - ewww! I learnt my lesson, and now I always look before I load!

Do you know what? I am SO excited about having two in cloth nappies! I am glad Arthur will not be out of nappies yet when the next baby comes along. I just LOVE cloth diapering (why isn't there an English version of that phrase?! "Using cloth nappies" just isn't the same meaning somehow)!! I think people generally think I am crazy, but I honestly wouldn't change to disposable if you PAID me and magically made them chemically safe for the environment and my baby's bottom. I still wouldn't use them. Cloth is too much fun, and the fabrics are too cute and soft and they just LOOK fantastic on babies. I love washing them! Am I mad?! Hehe! But I do. It's so satisfying tossing in a dirty load and having them come out clean and smelling laundry fresh, and soft and cosy ready to put on my little love again. It's a minor point for me, the thought that we never spend any money on nappies or wipes, we never run out of supplies, we never have pooey waste to dispose of in our bins, we don't contribute to the landfill problems, etc. Those probably should be my MAIN reasons for loving cloth, but if I'm honest, they're not. I just love the cuteness and softness and laundry freshness! And eeeeeeease. Cloth is so easy. I know that NOBODY believes me at church. Nobody. They say (with incredulous expression), "How can you use cloth?!" and I just say it's so much fun and it's so easy and I love it. And they do that thing with their heads/necks like a chicken does when it pulls its head backwards into its neck sort of, and make a "you're off your trolley" expression. Then they ask, "Don't you just hate dealing with the poo and the washing?!" And I say, no, the poo isn't a big deal, you just tip it down the loo and flush (so much more hygienic!) and the washing is SO MUCH FUN!! I love clean nappies, and they are so easy to wash. Everyone in the world seems to think that I must be soaking my nappies in something vile which clutters the place up with nappy pails and stinks and makes transferring the dirties to the washing machine a PAIN. Which I absolutely do NOT do, as that would be a crazy livin'-in-the-past thing to do! I would probably not love using cloth so much if I did that! I hate the idea of soaking. Fortunately you don't have to. So I don't :) Also, nobody at church can fathom any type of cloth nappy that isn't a terry or a Kushies nappy - urgh! Someone very kindly gave me all their WELL used Kushies from when they had decided to give cloth a try, and there is no way I am using them on Arthur because they are just horrible in comparison to the lovely stuff he wears, and they look so uncomfy. Modern cloth nappies are fabulous.

Arthur currently wears (for anyone out there using cloth, who knows what I'm talking about!) mostly Fuzzi Bunz, size large, and he has a few XLs for night times, but we don't use them much. He has a lot of size L Fuzzis, all different colours - I love them! I stuff them with one microfibre insert and one hemp insert, and that does him fine for several hours. I don't like to leave him more than 3 hours without a change. He wees so much that I just don't like him to stay in a nappy longer than that, even if he feels dry in a fuzzi and it's not leaking. The other things he wears in the day are Kissaluvs size 2. They are like a bikini cut on him, he is so chunky, hehe! But they are trim and cute and soft, and we have 8 of them so we might as well be using them. I boost them with a hemp or microfibre insert between the nappy and the wrap. He now only uses Motherease Airflow wraps (the side snapping ones), as they fit him great and look really cute! He has the eco-friendly prints with animals and stuff on :) He wears size large and size XL over his night nappies.

His night nappies are homemade, as they are the only ones that work well for him, though occasionally I stuff an XL Fuzzi with two hemp prefolds. He is a heavy wetter at night! I made him 5 stuffable nappies for night times, with a towelling outer and a microfleece inner. That way they keep his skin dry (with the microfleece) and fasten with a nippa (Snappi), which gives him the best fit. I stuff them with two hemp inserts and two microfibre inserts. I really want to make him some more, even though I guess he doesn't really need any more of them. I want red towelling. Or white towelling so I can dye it red. But I can't find any manky old white towels in the charity shops, which is all I could afford right now, so I will wait! But I am so getting some red towelling for some bright night nappies eventually!

Um, what else nappy-wise? He does use the hemp Cuddlebun I made with the hemp booster, but not so often. It's usually the one I put in the changing bag when we go out, as I'm proud of it! :) I love the fabric, it's so cute! We never use baby wipes, we don't even have any in the house! They smell so horrible and leave a yucky film, bleurgh! I am more repulsed by them than ever now that we haven't had any since Arthur was a tiny newborn. They just seem horrible in comparison with a soft cloth wipe and water. I have made a ton of cloth wipes, but some of them are too small now that his butt is so much bigger than when I made them for his newborn-self!! So I have been sewing a few new ones now and then on my overlocker. I am making extra-large luxury ones, out of towelling on one side and velour on the other. I lurve my cloth wipes! Once or twice I have had to use a baby wipe on Arthur when we've been out somewhere, and yuck oh yuck, the first thing I want to do when I get him home is wash his bum!! We use the cloth wipes to clean him up in the highchair as well, and for dribble, spilled drinks, and wiping after taking medicine or brushing teeth, etc. They are very useful!

All our cloth stuff washes on HOT and tumble dries on HOT as well. Except I never tumble dry PUL wraps - they live longer that way, and dry quickly in any case. We just toss our clothes and all sorts in with dirty nappies. Everything gets blitzed on hot anyway, so there's nothing yucky about it.

Wow, that was a long ramble about cloth nappies! But I loooove them so! :) I will be so sad when Arthur potty trains :( But hooray, I will have Sprout's nappy career stretching ahead of me! I'm looking forward to two in cloth nappies. I can't wait to see teeny tiny cutie little newborn nappies in my clean laundry piles with Arthur's comparatively enormous ones! Aw, I can't wait!!

Arthur is meant to be getting his plaster casts on again this month for his left foot, but they never got in touch with an appt, so I paged the physio twice but nothing came of that either. Pfthth. So I think I will wait a bit more. Or maybe phone them on Monday. I haven't decided. I was delaying Arthur's MMR till after the casts, so I ought to get them done I guess. He is walking great but I know he will need at least two casts. His left foot definitely turns in as he walks, though it doesn't seem to affect his actual walking. It turns in almost from the knee, as well as the foot itself bending inwards, so I know he will need the casts to correct it. The main thing I am worried about is how on EARTH to prevent him putting any weight on it the first day he has it on. I honestly do not think it will be possible. He is so wriggly and active that we can't hold him still or prevent him pushing and shoving against things with his legs, even just to change his nappy, cut his finger nails, or brush his teeth - let alone hours and hours after he has a new cast put on until the bedtime and the next morning!!! I don't think it can be done, which means his cast won't set properly, which means there's no point in putting the cast on. But he needs the cast. So I don't know what to do about that. I think I will ask the physio, but I am worried that she'll just say, "Well you'll just have to make sure he doesn't!" and leave me to somehow do the impossible. Because I physically can't prevent him from putting weight on his leg for hours on end. At all. So hmmm.

Urgh, I know there's more in my head to write, and I feel like I only got half of the things that were pressing actually written, but it's stupidly late and my brain has gone pulpy. So I am going to bed. I will leave you with some photos of my lil man, the ones I said I would post that I took after we came home from France :)

Here are four photos of Arthur helping Daddy run his bath :) Arthur loves to put things in the bath - that's his "help"! When he has already tossed in the rubber ducks, toys, bath books, facecloths, etc (which he had already pretty much done in these photos), he starts on other objects he can lay his hands on around the bathroom - like toilet rolls and the wastepaper basket! Here's the Monkey Man being helpful:

And here he is after the bath, playing with a cup of some sort on the bed (note poor teethy cheeks and sleepsuit (size 12-18 months!) gaping horribly around his night nappy! Fortunately we just got him some 18-24 month sleepsuits with his Christmas money from my grandparents, so now he has sleepwear that fits him!):

I'm pretty sure I have a couple more photos on the camera, and I know I have a movie clip or two to post, and a couple from over Christmas and New Year, but I'll get to those soon I hope!

Bed. And thank you for the notes and messages! I SO appreciate them :) Bed.


Sunday, 8 January 2006

New Year in France, photos,etc :)

Okay I'm back to write part two of the update! And it's only the next day after the last entry (gasp!)!! Part two is about our visit to France over New Year to see my parents. Then I'll write part three (maybe tomorrow though) about everything since, Arthur stuff and general things. Then I'll be all up to date!! Yay!

So we had a LOVELY visit to see my parents in France! I always love seeing them of course, so I always enjoy the visits we make. We don't get to go often enough :(

The journey was 100% easier than the long drive to see Neil's parents in the same country as us! I think it's because it's more suitable for a little one - it is broken down into "bitesize" pieces which makes it possible for Arthur to tolerate it. It still involves a 90 minute car journey to Stanstead Airport, which Arthur was not impressed about, but it was at least over after 90 minutes. He did fine for the first half hour or so. Poor Arthur. He is just THE most active and energetic little boy. Being cooped up anywhere for any length of time just doesn't go with all that energy and enthusiasm for being on the go all the time. He hates it. He is SO good and isn't the type to throw a fit about something (yet!) but he just can't deal with the restriction after a long time, which is perfectly reasonable of him. I feel the same way!

Anyway, so 90 minutes or so to the airport, then we park, then board a big bus that takes us to the terminal. The bus ride is 15 minutes and full of people to charm :) So Arthur loves that. He loved it last time too, and he was only 6 months old then! Then we do the boring stuff that adds up to quite a lot of time and standing in endless queues - checking in, going through security, finding our gate and walking the 50 thousand miles to it with Arthur in the pushchair. But he loves all that because he has NEVER seen so many people or such a large open space before in his LIFE! So he is enthralled by the whole airport terminal bit. The flight is one hour. It's more restricted in our seat than Arthur will now tolerate too well, but at least it's only an hour, and he manages well. He gets antsy by the end of the flight but by then he was WELL due for his nap. We had a kind gentleman next to us who loved Arthur and entertained him in French for a while, which Arthur seemed to absolutely love! Then we get off the plane (more interesting people) and meet Daddy who drives us to their house (about 50 minutes). Arthur is always so knackered by this stage that he sleeps the whole journey back to the house. So it's perfect for him really. A much easier journey.

We did have terrible weather forecast for the morning of our journey out. We watched every forecast on TV that we could find the day before, as they were forecasting fog, ice, heavy snow and strong winds from 5am to noon (we were leaving the house at 6am (urrrrrrgh!) and boarding a plane at 10am. So hmmm, that was not in a good window! We didn't know if the flight would be cancelled or if the roads would be safe enough to travel on. There were severe weather warnings and the news people were just basically telling everyone to stay home from work even, and only drive if you had to. Yikes!

But after scrutinizing the satellite forecast for ages, we figured that the weather front of heavy snow would hit London from the west at maybe 6-7am - right when we were driving. So we decided to go round the M25 (the London orbital motorway - we live in the south and needed to get to the airport in the north) to the east, and hope for the best. It worked! We had some fog, but we didn't get snow till we were rounding the bend onto the northern part and driving west. By the time we got to the airport it was snowing very heavily and settling even on the motorways, and we skidded and nearly hit a parked car at the airport car park! But we made it. Phew! Thank you Lord. We prayed a lot before we set out that morning.

It was soooooooooooooooo cold that it hurt though. Miraculously (thank you Lord AGAIN!), our flight was not really delayed, except that once we boarded it they had to de-ice the wings (!!) so that took a little while and then we were off. The flight was fine. I was so relieved to touch down in France that I felt like crying. But I often feel that way. Something deep in me isn't too crazy about flying, even though I also enjoy it. I am always glad to get where I'm going! I nearly always feel tearful when we touch down. But part of it is knowing that I am THAT close to seeing my parents again :)

Anyway, we had such a nice time! I wrote about anything pregnancy-related over the holidays in my pregnancy journal (link over there) so I'll miss those out here, but needless to say, my parents are so excited about the new baby and we spent a lot of time chatting about names and stuff and it was just so nice :)

Arthur slept okay. They have such a big house (it's two houses - the old farmhouse and what used to be a stone barn, both renovated and then built together with a joining part to make one big L-shaped house) that he couldn't sleep the evenings in our bedroom, as it was in the part of the house that was furthest away from the kitchen and library/computer room where we tended to spend the evenings together. The big room under our bedroom is the "piece a chemine" (sp? and where are all the accents on my keyboard?!) or "the room with the fireplace". The fireplace is so big it almost fills a whole wall!!! The big piano is in there also. It's a lovely room. We used to sit in front of the fire during the evenings before Arthur came along, and we did last winter when he was 3 months old, but it's different now. He LOVED the fire. Loved it to bits! I am noticing that Arthur loves anything and everything new. He just EMBRACES life at the moment. He doesn't ever even look hesitant when he encounters new things, let alone unsure or scared. I love that about him. The only thing in life that terrifies him is the hoover :(

Anyway, he loves the fire. He wanted to go right up to it but we said no and told him it was hot, and he said, "Haaahh" (his word for hot) and didn't ever go closer than a metre or two from the fire. He was such a good boy about it. The fire spat and popped a lot on the logs that were just brought in from the log pile, and every time it made a loud crack or pop, Arthur laughed and laughed! He loves sudden loud noises, they have always made him giggle! Funny boy :)

But. I think I have figured out another source of my streaming allergies whenever we stay with my parents. Part one took more than a year to figure out, and I finally found out it was feathers - we slept under feather duvets and on feather pillows there. So Mummy got a hollowfibre duvet and pillows for us and I haven't had issues nearly as bad since :) But then I started to get them again, and it gets worse every time we go. FINALLY this time I realised it's the fire :( It seems to be accumulative as I get worse every day/night. Nights are far worse, and eventually I can hardly sleep at all, I sneeze and sting and stream all night long, and if I get any sleep it is because I am pinching my nose and propping my fist in place so that it holds my nose tight all night long! I wake with a numb/blood-engorged nose, hehe! But it is no fun. After I wondered about it being the fire (my symptoms seemed better if we spent a significant number of hours in a row in the part of the house without the fire in it), Mummy didn't light the fire that evening and I had a WAY better night. And no fire the following night, and I had next to no allergy symptoms whatsoever. Which is weird. I know it's the smoke from the fire, but why? What part of it? It's all natural isn't it? I can't figure why I would be so allergic to wood smoke when I don't have any known tree allergies. But anyway. It was sad because a big roaring open fire is so nice and cosy on cold winter nights, and I felt bad that I was stopping those from happening. My parents love their fires! But I felt sooooooooooo much better for it.

So - getting back to the point! - Arthur slept the evening in the little bedroom over the kitchen, so that we were near to him. We bought a baby monitor (for the first time ever, at 13 months old!) specifically for this trip, so that we did not miss his first stirrings. We like to be there for him as soon as he calls us, not wait till he's screaming before we go, "Oh, Arthur's awake!" He is used to that, and it's horrible for him if we suddenly don't go when he first wakes and calls us. So the monitors worked GREAT. He slept very well most evenings and didn't wake at all. When we went to bed, we carried him through the house to our bedroom and then I nursed him and we all fell asleep (bar allergies). The last night, he stayed almost asleep against my shoulder when I carried him through, and by the time I got ready to nurse him on our bed, he was asleep again! He slept through the night pretty much, twice, stirring now and then and requiring a few pats on his little back from me to send him back off again.

Then he got a cold :( His second ever cold, which is pretty good going really. He has had one cold before at 7 months old (I think it was then?) and that was nasty and lasted a long time with much puking and coughing, etc. So when I saw him sneezing and having a runny nose, I thought uh-oh, because I remembered how bad it was last time. But he did fine. He was pretty snotty for a day and very sneezy, and then the next day he sweated like CRAZY during his naps, and seemed less snotty that night. He seemed FINE the next day! Wow! But that was the day we came home to London and since then it seems to have picked back up. I can only presume it's to do with the pollution here. I know colds go super fast in Wales for example - I had a STINKER of a cold out there once, and it was gone 3 days later! When I marvelled about this to the family I was staying with, they asked how long a cold took to clear up in London and I said 1-2 weeks (nearer two usually) and they were aghast. They never heard of anything like it! So the clean air out in France was probably fixing his cold quickly, and then just before it popped its clogs, we brought him back to super pollution to give it a second chance. *sigh* Poor Arthur.

Anyway, so he did okay with his cold in France. He was VERY wakeful the first night with it, and stirred literally every 5-10 minutes (I am not even kidding - I watched the glow-in-the-dark clock) unable to breathe and needing some serious de-snotting. He couldn't breathe to nurse, and sometimes it was really hard for him to get back to sleep. Thankfully we always pack the baby nose-sucker thing (sounds scary, hehe!) and Calpol and various baby remedies, etc. when we go away, so we were able to de-snot him a bit. We put a little Vick on his chest and back but nothing changed till I hit on the idea of SLATHERING my own chest with it and then nursing him or snuggling him tummy to tummy with my chest bare. He literally went from propeller engine to silence in 30 seconds next to my heavily ponging chest! So then it was much better, but it was 5am by then and I had not had any sleep yet. Then I couldn't get comfy in a pregnant way for another hour and a half, so yeah I was super tired that day. But at least that was the worst night. After that I wore Vick a lot!

He ate great! He really loves his food. It amazes me when I think back to the days when he still wouldn't take solids of any sort at 8 months, and I was worried he would be super picky for LIFE and it would be an endless struggle with a fussy eater! He just wasn't ready, and I'm SO glad I didn't push him and just continued nursing him till he WAS ready. He just loves his food now! He wants way more than he's allowed, like foods that we're not ready to share with him yet. My mummy made mince pies with some FAB homemade mincemeat, but it contained some alcohol so it was a no-no for Arthur. Did that stop him getting any? Noooo. He got pastry and the tiiiniest square mm of flavour from the mincemeat, and he LOVED it!

He has a pretty big appetite now too. He eats a whole banana for a mid-afternoon snack and often a couple of rice cakes with it. It never stops him being so hungry for tea an hour or two later that he opens his mouth wiiiide like a baby bird (as my parents described it!) for his food! The hungrier he is, the wider he opens his mouth :) He is such a cutie pie. We took the jars of organic stage 3 food that he is used to having for lunch, and made him various meals for tea like we do at home. The thing is, he likes sandwiches and toast at home, but he really didn't like the French bread, and that is all there is out there! I guess he didn't like the texture - it's very crusty after all. But he did like mashed potatoes with stuff and pasta meals :) He didn't eat what we were eating usually, as his mealtimes really don't coincide with ours, and this boy is not a boy who likes his schedules messed with! He eats at 7.30am (everyone asleep at that time!), 11.30am (toooo early for lunch!) and 4.30pm. He has his bath at 6-something and is in bed nursing between 7 and 8 usually. Sometimes by 7pm. We kept everything running smoothly for him in France and he seemed almost grateful for that, so I'm glad we made the effort. He bathed in the big corner bath there, but he doesn't seem to like other people's baths! He cried in the one at Neil's parents' house (mind you, so would I, it is not exactly the picture of hygiene! Yeurgh.), and seemed anxious about the shower attachment in France. He likes HIS bath :) I can see he is already becoming a creature of habit! ;)

Arthur is so like my daddy. He is also so like Neil's dad. I love that. I love seeing all our parents rolled into one precious little boy. He has my mum's eyes - shape and colour. My dad's curly hair, concentrating expression (my dad makes EXACTLY the same one when he is writing music or playing the piano, it's uncanny!), larger than average head and shorter than average legs!! He has Neil's dad's mouth exactly, which is also Neil's mouth - and when we were at his parents' house over Christmas I saw a very faded photo of Neil on the sideboard where he must have been about 2 years old. He was with his brother and baby sister and he was grinning enormously with Arthur's EXACT grin! Even Neil was surprised at how similar it was when I pointed it out. He said how strange it was to see his son's smile on his own face :) I love the way he worded that. Arthur also has a lot of Neil's dad's expressions and mannerisms. He has a general "look" of Neil's dad to his face, and I would say he looks most like him at a glance. I think he is going to have Neil's mum's nose. Neil has it, and it is characterised by a bony angle that Neil hates, but which doesn't even appear till around age 10. But I think he has that nose a-coming.

Anyway. He took a huge liking to my parents, especially Grandy (my daddy)! He beamed with delight the instant Grandy came into the room, or downstairs for breakfast! Nana often got a curious expression or shy smile or sometimes even a frown!! He loved her too, and they had lots of fun together playing games and learning new things. But he just had this thing for Grandy. He would often giggle just to get Grandy's attention, when he was busy cooking or something! He does that a lot, to just about anybody, even strangers! He knows his giggle is the cutest thing and nobody can resist him when he does it ;)

He did love helping Nana with the laundry though - some things never change!

Arthur perfected his long-distance walking while we were in France - FINALLY he had the opportunity to just walk and walk and walk and walk and not stop, because there was just soooooo much space. It's a lonnng walk from one end of the house to the other, and Arthur loved doing it over and over. There are two steps up where the two houses join, and we either walked him up them or he crawled up them. The floors are all stone tile (heated though!) and the stairs and steps are polished wood. I was so sure he would have a million nasty accidents on those hard surfaces, but he only had a couple. One time when he was crawling up those two steps, his knee slipped on the polished surface and his face fell into the edge of the next step (owch!). He had a blood blister on his lip for a week, but it's all but gone now. I felt so bad for him! He cried but he was such a trooper, he recovered so quickly with a cuddle from Mummy :)

He also had quite a nasty fall on the stone floor one time, which was heartbreaking because he was going round from person to person at bedtime saying night night to them one by one with such a sweet smile on his face, and he lost his balance and fell sideways, and hit the side of his head on the hard floor :( Poor poor baby. I never heard him cry so much over a fall before. It took AGES for him to calm down, even in my arms, and he was very quiet for a while after that. I got all worried as he had hit his temple area and it was swelling up pretty good. I googled "toddler head injury" and finally found a site (can't remember which now) that told me he was unlikely to have hurt himself badly, and that if it was bedtime, I should keep him up for a short while to observe his behaviour, and then put him to bed as usual, waking him every 3-6 hours throughout the night, depending on the severity of the blow. So that's what we did. I was so relieved to find that site! After his crying and quietness, he perked up very quickly and did a lot of walking and giggling and was his normal self. So I put him to bed after maybe an hour, and that happened to be the night that he woke constantly with his cold, so we didn't have to worry about waking him to see if he was able to be roused or not. He still has a bruise there now, and it was quite nasty so we gave him Calpol once or twice over the first 24 hours or so after he did it. Which also coincided with his cold so I didn't mind dosing him up a little in case he felt crappy and achy.

He did have one other fall but thankfully he hit his head on the thick carpet rug thing (there's one in each room) instead of the tiles, so he was fine.

Soooo he did loads of walking. By the end of the stay he was walking SO fast if he wanted to get somewhere with great enthusiasm, or quickly! He sometimes tried a little run and stumbled or fell to his hands and knees. He is so keen to move move move all the time! He absolutely never once stayed still the whole time we were there, unless he was in bath, bed or his highchair! Oh, well sometimes he did sit still to play with a toy that he was interested in. We took his favourites, and he got Christmas presents from Nana and Grandy. He got more wooden bricks (how he LOVES those!), a couple of pull-and-go toys, some bath toys, a baby book in French which he loves, a very cute little outfit for age two, which I swear he will fit nicely in the next couple of months (!!), and DUPLO!!! Yay! Duplo was on our list of "must haves" for Arthur :) He loves it already, and is trying to stick it together and stuff. He likes to pull it apart if we have built stuff. Which of course, we do! I love Lego and Duplo! :) I have so much Lego in the loft from when me and my brother were little for Arthur and Sprout to play with when they are a bit older (well, a lot older in Sprout's case!). We had a LOT of Lego. Why do they call it Legos in America? The plural of Lego is Lego. Hmnph.

We went out in the garden and Arthur just loved walking outside in his shoes. I need to make lots of opportunities for him to do this now we're back. He is pretty steady on his feet, shoes or no shoes, wherever we go now. He can literally walk MILES (in toddler terms!) without stopping or seeming to get tired at all, and now stoops to pick something up easily and then straightens up again and carries on walking, and he stops and changes direction all the time, and walks in funny little circles or figure eights too! He liked to push all the chairs neatly in under the table while we were in France - he would go all around the table pushing all the chairs in till they touched the table edge! Funny boy - he does like to be neat and tidy about everything!

He enjoyed playing peekaboo behind the huge floor-length curtains all around the house - a game he seemed to spontaneously start himself one time when I was walking around the house with him. He loved flinging the curtain aside and "startling" me sooo much, hehe! One time when he flung the curtain aside and giggled with glee, he unexpectedly got snapped by the camera, haha! So here is the photo:

Here he is with his daddy. I just like this photo. Neil is so wonderful with him ALL the time. He is just the best father I could possibly have imagined finding for my children. He is so involved and does SO much practical stuff - more than me sometimes, I feel embarrassed to admit! He is amazing. And Arthur is so close to him and they have such a great bond. I love how Arthur smiles so hugely when they rub noses, or spontaneously gives his daddy a kiss, or when Neil swings him up, kisses his cheek and tells him, "I love you, my little boy" That is just the loveliest thing to my ears. Well, one of them! There are so many lovely things to my ears now that Arthur is part of our lives.

But I digress again! Here's the photo of them in front of the fire, which you can't see, taken one chilly late afternoon - yes, that stripe outside the window is the horizon over the vineyards. How GORGEOUS it was to be in so much open space after the yucky clutter of London!

BUT, the boy loves his Mummy too! :) This is just about one of my favourite photos so far, taken in my parents' garden. Arthur was so happy and relaxed, and I love how you can tell that from his expression. I love his enormous multitude of expressions!

And talking of photos in the garden, here are some more, of Arthur being highly excited about being outside walking with his big boy shoes on, with his Daddy:

He just wanted to walk and walk and walk and walk - I was amazed that he wasn't even that interested in all the gravel stones under his feet! All he wanted to do was WALK! After a while I took over from Neil:

And then ended up picking him up to give ME a break, hehe! He was laughing at something here.

See my lil Sprouty bump?!!! Yay, I have a little bump, I'm so proouuud and thrilled!! And I have too much hair. I need need need a lot of hair cut off, but I'm chicken, and also I have no idea WHAT I want done with it. So it's still there.

And. I suddenly can't remember what else I meant to write in this entry. Maybe that means I have written it all? I don't know. Well, we had a lovely time with my parents and they had a lovely time with us, and I was sort of sad to leave, but also glad to get back to normal life again. I always love it when the whole Christmas/New Year period is OVER. It gets old pretty fast and I long for normality again!

Our journey home was uneventful and much better weather. Arthur was so tired on the plane and in the end I nursed him sitting up on my lap for the last 15 minutes of the flight, which settled him well. He went to sleep for a while on the way home, and we had to stop at a service place for me to eat, as I had stupidly mis-timed lunch and not done as Neil had, and bought food to eat on the plane. I ate an enormous portion of fish and chips and peas out of a cardboard box in the car! Mmmmm.... Then Arthur woke and we had to go back into the service place and use the baby station to microwave his jar of spaghetti bolognese, as he was RAVENOUS! The poor thing had just had snacks on the flight, even though it was lunch time for him during that time, as we hadn't got a meal for him that we could serve him on the journey. We took him sandwiches on the journeys to and from Neil's parents, but he wouldn't have the French bread, so that ruled sandwiches out for the journey home. He had a lot of apple rice cakes and a banana and raisins and stuff. He loves raisins like they are sweeties! He is always so upset when we take them away after he's had enough to worry our minds about the next day's nappies! ;) Anyway then he fell asleep in the car so he was even later for his meal. So we had to stop.

And that is that! We didn't stay up to see the New Year in, as my family isn't huge on bothering to do that. We don't party or sing Old Man's Groin or whatever it is (!!), we always just spend the evening together and look forward to the next year together, and usually toast the New Year over our evening meal. But then we basically want to go to sleep like normal! So we do, and therefore aren't usually up when midnight rolls around. That's fine though, because the next morning we're bright and cheery, completely non-hungover, and wishing each other Happy New Year. I wouldn't have it any other way :) We never really think back over the year though, I have noticed. We just look forward to the next one. I always THINK back over it when I lie in bed on the last night of the year, and end up thanking God for about fifty billion things that he has blessed me with that year. There are always SO many, no matter how many things have felt hard or upsetting somehow. I like to think about things that way. It means that I go to sleep in the last few minutes or hours of the old year zinging with joy at all the wonderful things God has blessed me with that year, and having spent my last waking moments of the year talking with him about them. And also zinging with EXCITEMENT over all the things that God is going to bless me with in the coming year! I know there will be some real hardships, for sure. I know it's going to be downright HARD with two little ones under two, when the new baby comes. I think sometimes I am going to really struggle with life. And we surely plan to move house, maybe completely relocate. So that will be really hard. But man oh man, it's going to be a thrilling and exciting year! What fantastic changes, however terrifying they might be, and however many difficult challenges they throw in our path! I am going to have a baby this year. My heart is going to grow AGAIN! I am breathless with awe at the very idea of having any MORE room to love my children, but I know it is sure to happen when the baby is born. And I can't WAIT!!! I have a whole freshly clean year to spend with my sweet little Arthur, watching him grow and change and become a big brother. I feel like I am growing up all the time, faster and more effectively than I ever did in my life before. And in a GOOD way. In ways that I always felt I needed to grow up but could never seem to muster up the something-or-other to do it. So I'm excited about that too.

Yay for 2005, it was a great, scary, exciting, thrilling, challenging, exhausting, refining year. I loved it. It made me a parent, not just like 2004 did (there are now TWO calendar years between Arthur's birth and now!!!! How crazy is that?!) with Arthur's birth and first few weeks, but the real daily grind of being an active parent, the way the first year moulds you to be. So I heart 2005. But I think I heart 2006 better :) I get to do it all again, and STILL continue my parenting road with the precious little love that I already have. And who knows what else God has in store for me?! I'm excited. Scared, sometimes. But mostly excited :)

Happy New Year everyone!! I will write another entry asap with the third installment - a normal one with Arthur stuff (which I have covered a lot of here actually) and Neil's job situation and my usual flotsam, oh, and more photos of course! I have taken a few since we got home so I'll post those next entry. Here is the last one I wanted to post from France - just me and Arthur again, but I just love it because he was giggling and being sooo "Arthur", rattling my bottle of prenatal vitamins!

I am noticing that I nearly always have my face bent towards him in photos. I guess that is how I am really. I just can't get enough of Arthur. I want to be looking at him all the time, seeing his expressions, watching him learn and experience new things. I never want to miss a SECOND, or an expression-change, or anything. Sometimes I only see Arthur when I have my eyes open. I just love him so much. He is all I want to look at sometimes.

One thing for this year that I would like to change, is to have that kind of passion back for Jesus. I used to have it, I used to love him THAT much that I never took my eyes off him. Now I don't, and I miss it. I NEED it. So I pray for that to change this year. I really need God's help to do it, because I am so rubbish at fixing my eyes on him when I have gotten sluggish at it for a while. I want to love Jesus MORE than I love Arthur. That sounds like a crazy statement, given how Arthur is my own child and to love him more than anything is just how it should be. But nobody is more worthy of my love than Jesus. I want the world to know it. And I want to start living it out again this year.

Saturday, 7 January 2006

Christmas update (at last!)

Oh. My goodness. I have soooooooooooooooooooooo much to update on, as I haven't written in way too long, and there I was just thinking how I'd just write one long entry with Christmas, New Year, in-laws, France, and general ramblings and Arthur news all rolled into one! Plus all the photos. Um, no, I don't think so! For one thing, I just started sorting the photos and have stopped at 15 so far (halfway through the ones from France and not including the ones I've taken since we got home!!). So clearly I will have to make several entries. *sigh* I reeeeally need to stop leaving it so long between entries, or this is what happens! Plus I miss just splurging in my diary, which can never happen if I have a bazillion things to update about on the rare-ish occasion that I have time to update.

So this one will be the entry about Part One of life since the last entry - Christmas at the in-laws, with photos. Then a France/New Year's thingy with photos. THEN a general Arthurish update with more photos and possibly even time for a few ramblings from my own brain! But it's 9.30pm already and I still haven't eaten, so I guess I won't get all that done tonight. But I will try!

So here is the Christmas entry.

Christmas at Neil's parents' place went okay. I really have nothing to complain about but I have definitely had better Christmasses. But it was good to go and see them, as we haven't taken Arthur to see them since he was 11 weeks old!!! Toooo long. Neil's dad is really not good at the moment. He seems more fragile and has less of a quality of life than ever before, to me. Caring for him is so hard for Neil's mum and 19-year-old sister. Neil's mum just had a knee replacement so his poor sister has had her hands full. They don't get much help from outside. Well, a little, but not a lot.

So it is always kind of upsetting for Neil when we go there, as it's so hard for him seeing his dad like he now is. He has chronic leukaemia and has had something like 9 strokes now. He can't eat, swallow, speak, see much, or do anything for himself. He can grunt in a less communicative way than Arthur does, to get attention, over and over like a little child. He has lost all the sparkle in his eyes that was there last time, even though he couldn't communicate. He drools heavily and has lost unbelievable amounts of weight. He holds his head funny, and he CAN walk, but he rarely gets out of bed and comes downstairs anymore. He is so tired all the time. He needs carrying to the loo sometimes, and he needs showering and cleaning up after using the toilet and everything. He wakes more than Arthur does at night, sometimes 9 times a night, and needs attending to every time, which must just be completely exhausting. He needs medication and tube feeds so frequently that the schedule just boggles me even thinking about it. I have no idea how they manage. They are so cheerful about everything. It makes us feel bad to find it hard being there for just a few days, but I guess we just aren't used to it. We remember Neil's dad like he used to be when he was well, and don't see him like this except for once or maybe twice a year.

So that was a more difficult part. The great part was that Arthur was a complete hit, of course! Everybody loved him, and he charmed family and family friends alike. He LOVED our visit there! He thrives on social contact and improved his walking with a little more space to cover than in our little house. He did cry when we arrived and he saw his Grandma for the first time, which he has NEVER done before, but it was a LONG journey, a 7 hour drive in the end as we had to stop twice for Arthur to be changed and to eat a meal or two. By the time we got there it was later than planned, two hours past Arthur's bedtime and he had gone to sleep in the car. It was dark and cold when we woke him by carrying him out of the car and into a brightly lit house that wasn't his own, and a stranger greeted him enthusiastically. So he just cried and looked so pathetic that my heart squelched into mush and I held him close to me on my lap for the next 15 minutes with just the lights of the Christmas tree and the TV until he calmed down and got interested in the new place.

He had the most awful bedtime that night - 11.30pm!!! It was the soonest we could manage to deal with the huge palava of getting in, unpacking his night stuff, setting up his travel cot and then both Neil and I deciding there was no way we were putting our child in a cot after all this time co-sleeping, so taking it down again and taking the double bed apart to put the mattress on the floor like we have it at home. Finally the bed was ready and he went off to sleep. He was so wired and excited all evening until then, playing and "talking" with his favourite Auntie downstairs! He slept THE. WHOLE. NIGHT. But yeah, I realise it was a very different situation, with a bedtime that late. But it was GREAT!!! He woke at around 7am :) He was just so tired out, and needed longer naps for our whole visit just to make it up. Which was also nice :)

Anyway. He was excited when we were packing before we left, as packing is just the kind of fun thing that Arthur loves to be involved in!

But the journey there was horrible, two hours longer than it used to take us sans baby, and Arthur HATED it completely after about hour one. By the time we were halfway there, I was saying for the fifth time already, "We are never making this journey again!" Ugh. I know it's the only way to see Neil's parents and for them to see us and Arthur, and they totally can't help their situation and not being able to come to us, but the journey was just plain NOT FAIR to Arthur. He's too little for such a long journey, and our experience of it has confirmed that.

We stopped at two different Welcome Break service places on the way to give him a break, and coincided them with meals for him or time for a nappy change, etc. Here is a photo of Arthur parking the car at a Welcome Break, haha! Not really - we were eating in the car and Arthur got fidgetty so he sat on his daddy's lap in the driver's seat and LOVED "steering" the wheel and watching the people coming out of the main entrance. He would keep on shouting at them to get their attention, never realising that they couldn't hear him from inside the closed car, hehe! Anyway, here he is:

One of our stops was an hour long because he ate and got changed, and then was so desperate to walk and burn off some energy, so we let him walk through the HUGE building full of fast food places and stuff. He walked the furthest he had ever walked before (by far!), with this expression of complete fascination at all that he was seeing! He cried so much every time we had to put him back in his car seat, no matter how long we had given him for his break or how much he had walked or seen before going back to the car. Poor lovey.

The way home was worse. We hit a huge jam on the M1 due to an accident, and had to eventually pull off and find an alternative route. Which set us back some. And we ended up having to stop FIVE times for Arthur, because he was just hysterical after an hour (or sometimes less) in his car seat. Plus we needed meals twice. The journey home was nearly TEN hours. Urgh. Never again. Ever. We have basically come to the conclusion that we will have to go a different way if we go again, until he's 3 or something. But then Sprout will be Arthur's age-ish, so that won't work. Urrrgh! Oh well. We'll have to think about it. But we're not driving. No way.

Sooo back to Christmas. We felt bad that we didn't have presents for anyone, but we had pre-warned them and they were so good about it. We simply had zero money (less, actually) to buy anything, even something small. We did set ourselves a £5 budget for each other and for Arthur from us, just so that we had a little something from each other to open when we got home after Christmas. That sounds so sad! But we really didn't mind it at all, and we had no choice with the way our finances are right now. We didn't have any access to cash or credit cards to buy anything more. The only thing we felt bad about was not having gifts for family as we sat there opening theirs to us. But I guess we shouldn't feel bad, because it's not meant to be about getting people presents just because they got you one, or because it's expected of everyone at Christmas. I'm glad nobody thought of it that way and it wasn't mentioned at all. But it still felt kind of weird of us all the same.

Arthur got some toys, some of which he LOVES and the others he isn't remotely interested in! He got a sit-on/push-along car thing which he instantly loved with all his heart and spent the next few days that we were there pushing it around the house with a smile on his face :) He is NOT thrilled about sitting on it. He prefers to walk behind it and push :) He also prefers to do this with one hand, and he also walks backwards holding on to it with one hand, to move it out of a corner if he has walked it in there and got it stuck. Anyway that is definitely his favourite present from Grandma and Grandpa! It was actually a birthday present though. Here he is with it at their house:

Arthur REALLY loved opening presents! Much more so than on his birthday, though he did like it then too. He loved tearing the paper off all his presents, and he ended up helping everybody to open theirs too! Nobody minded, in fact, quite the opposite, as he was so cute in his eagerness to tear open the wrapping! He did it with so much concentration too :) Here he is opening somebody's present:

One other big milestone about the visit was that they have a cat, and so it was Arthur's first introduction to a pet of any sort, and more specifically to cats. I had no idea what to expect or how he would react. My parents have a cat too, and I knew Arthur would not see hide nor hair of him because of how scaredy and shy he is. He would just be a tabby blur disappearing into the distance the instant Arthur came into the room! But the cat at Neil's parents' place is more sociable and not the type to run away. I was kind of nervous about him getting scratched, as this cat does do that sometimes. In fact he bit and scratched me the ONE time I went to stroke him this visit. I don't like that cat. So I didn't actually want Arthur getting too near him.

Anyway, Arthur LOVED the cat!!! He was so excited the first time he saw him, and squealed and pointed and followed him around the house, etc. We had to be careful because he was so un-timid about approaching the cat and we didn't want him being rough with him and getting scratched. So his contact with the cat was mostly heavily supervised by Neil and his brother and youngest sister:

He was so excited, bless him! He loved the cat. We kept on telling him "Cat!" when the cat was around, but he still doesn't say it. He isn't that fast on his speech still, but oh well, it will come. He just made one of his "important" words (one that is very short and sharp and reserved for pointing out very important things!) into a shout and combined it with an excited pointing gesture every time he saw the cat, so I guess he was saying it in his own way :)

He slept quite well, longer naps than usual (due to the catch-up like I said) and some good nights where he only woke once, but he did have a night where he woke frequently. He was also hard to get down to sleep at bedtime a couple of nights. Reeeally hard. Both Neil and I were with him trying to get him to sleep for over an hour. Urgh. But it went well. I am so glad we put the mattress on the floor. I slept on it with Arthur, and Neil made up a bed on the floor in the only walking space in the room! I was kind of glad to be going home again, I have to say. Also I love my MIL but she always manages to get under my skin by about day 3 or 4. This time, with irritable pregnancy hormones on top of that, she was driving me crazy about some things by day 2! It's always nice to go and see them but I never fail to be glad to be going home again come the last day.

So that was Christmas. We watched way too much TV. I have a real pet-peeve about households where the TV is on ALL the time and everything takes place around it, even conversations and meals and stuff. Urgh. My mum was brought up in a household like that and we were pretty strictly brought up the opposite way as a result! She hated it and did not want us brought up with the TV on all the time. We did watch it though, she wasn't a complete TV-nazi. We had to turn it off the moment there was something else happening, like if we wanted to do something else WHILST watching TV, that was a no-no. Or chatting to someone - TV went off. We were never allowed to eat in front of the TV, and it was in the furthest room from the dining table in any case. We were a family who always ate every meal together around the table. I love that. I soooo want it for my own family, but we are not doing great at it so far. We have no dining space and a cluttered kitchen table with no room for eating at, so our meals ARE on our laps in the living room. Urgh. Neil and I watch TV often while we eat our evening meals. We like to wind-down that way after a busy day and settling Arthur down for the night - we just find it relaxing. BUT it doesn't do our relationship much good, probably. We have less time to just chat and be close and stuff if we spend our precious time watching TV. So that needs to change sometime. We are soooo getting more eating space when we next move house!

Anyway, I digress! Where was I? Oh yes, so Neil's family is one where the TV is on all the time. It. Drives. Me. Insane. NEIL has always driven me crazy with how if a TV is on, he simply can't avoid looking at it. It's like it's hypnotic for him. If I talk to him and the TV is on, he might reply whilst gazing trance-like at the TV, or he might not even reply, such was his devotion to some crappy not-worth-watching advert for home insurance or something equally crap, which then makes me feel practically enraged (these days anyway!) because he's giving an insurance ad more attention than the thing I was saying to him about Arthur or something to do with the house or a family member who phoned earlier, at one of the rare moments when we even get to catch up!!!! Gaaah! As you can see, it IS a real bug-bear for me. And Neil's family are just like it, only worse, because in their house the TV is on all the time.

Arthur got loved and he did get attention but it drove me crazy when he would try to get Grandma's attention with smiles and giggles and she would turn from the TV to say, "Hello Sunshine!" and smile at him adoringly (which is GREAT) before turning back to the darn box seconds later, leaving Arthur still trying to engage her on something (NOT so great). It was also on way too loud. Urgh. I played MIL at Upwords (and won 3 times out of 3. Smugness :) ) one evening and the other three (Neil and his brother and sister) watched a Star Wars movie INCHES away from us at deafening volume. It was so hard to get my head around words and stuff that I wanted to put down on the board. But I still won :) Heh.

Anyway so the TV drove me out of my tree. But it always does. Another reason why I am so glad to go home. But we DID have a good time with family over Christmas, and it was long overdue, seeing Neil's side of the family. We ate our turkey on Christmas Eve as it thawed early. Everybody ate turkey casserole the next day but I had seen how long that bird sat out on the counter the day before, and being somewhat (haha) freakish about food safety, etc, I ate different food on Christmas Day! It worked out fine because they ate breakfast and then said, "Oh we'll eat lunch at around 4pm" WHAT?!!! Hello?! I am pregnant and cannot possibly wait that long between meals at the moment. Unless you want me fainting and feeling pukey? I was kind of irked that they didn't think of me that way, but hey ho. So Neil and I figured I would have a light lunch at LUNCH time, and then a proper meal (not the turkey) which I would make in the evening. Neil told his mum this, but she seemed to have completely forgotten by the time the 4pm turkey casserole was served, as I had a serving too, and she did not give me a nice look when I reminded her that I had already had lunch and would not be joining them. That REALLY bothered me. Not as much as it bothered Neil though, who nearly lost it and had "words" with his mum. I love that he is so protective of me :) Anyway, it blew over. I didn't eat the turkey (from which nobody got sick), and I got to eat the three meals that I need in my "condition" on a daily basis!

Talking of which, I need to get some food. I am so bad. It's 10.30pm! I am having a Braxton Hicks contraction. And that is all. I will have to update tomorrow I think, with the next installment. I feel much happier about the visit to my parents than to Neil's (which I guess is kind of normal) so I'm looking forward to writing about it, and I have lots of photos to post too! I hope everyone had a great (belated!) Christmas!! :)

Tuesday, 20 December 2005

Pre-Christmas ramblings and toddling-bra photos, hehe!

Okay I have a lot to update on yet again, but possibly very little time to do it in, as Arthur is halfway through his short morning nap already.

I cancelled his MMR last Monday. I did some more research on the Sunday and decided to go ahead with it, but then I happened to get my attention drawn to the potential side-effects. Some babies are lucky and don't get any, or only very mild ones, and Arthur didn't really have problems with his previous vaccinations. But you never know, and they can be a bit unpleasant, so I checked them out. The measles part tends to kick in around 1 week to 10 days after the jab, with most mothers saying 10 days. Little ones can get a measles-like rash, a mild fever and be off their food (though some mothers said their toddlers were vomiting too). That would have co-incided with travelling up to Neil's family for Christmas. GREAT timing! Then the mumps part is 3-4 weeks after the jab, again mild fever, off their food, general malaise, etc. That would co-incide with our trip to France to see my parents. I decided not to let Arthur have the jab before Christmas as some part of the holiday would potentially be complicated by naff side-effects. January is pretty much ruled out with his plaster casts, so our plan is to have him vaccinated with the MMR in February. We're happy enough with that. I'm sure I'll still feel nervous when we DO take him, but we'll just get it over and done with. I do want him protected against these nasties. So that is that! :)

I took him to the baby clinic to be weighed and measured on Friday. I figured it had been a while (I think he was last weighed at around 11 months, or probably more like 10.5 months) and I was curious to know what he measured at. I also needed to be sure he didn't exceed the limits for the car seat my parents still have for him in France. He was the oldest baby there - all the others in the waiting room were around 6 months, and some were teeny weeny! He was the picture of society and walked from other-mother's-knees to other-mother's-knees all round the waiting room, beaming at each person in turn with his biggest most charming smile! He loves to socialise and show off his cuteness, hehe! Everyone was smiling at him and complimenting him on his clever walking. He walked everywhere, both with his shoes on, and (once he took them off!) with just his socks on, on the shiny slippery floor. He had no trouble. He is doing great on the walking, and I only see him crawl once or twice every couple of days now. Waaah, my baby is growing up!

Oh, I know I'm getting off the point, but Arthur still loves going about the house with one of my nursing bras hanging from his mouth!!! Hehe! He used to crawl like that till he knelt on the bra that was trailing under him and stopped short! He LOVES my bras. I think they are sort of comforting to him, since they have some association with breastfeeding which is the ultimate comfort! :) I have two lilac coloured Elle Macpherson nursing bras (incidentally THE most fabulous nursing bras ever to be invented) which he particularly loves! Here are some photos of the little monkey man this morning toddling around with said bra hanging from teeth! ;)

He just walked around and around with that thing hanging there, and even stopped to play with his toys now and then before setting off again for another bra-swinging stroll!! Funny boy :)

Anyway, back to the baby clinic! So Arthur got weighed, and he has LOST weight!!!!!!!! A first for Arthur! I was concerned because I mean it's been nearly 3 months since he was last weighed, and he weighed MORE then!! He last weighed 23lbs 13oz, and so I expected him over 24lbs by now. I didn't think he would have gained much because he doesn't FEEL much heavier, and he has changed shape so dramatically lately, slimming right down and losing his baby chub. He now weighs 23lbs 5oz. The health visitor told me not to worry at all, because he has started walking and night weaned in that time, and also I am barely making any milk at all now so he's essentially not really getting breastmilk anymore as such. So she said it's to be expected. She said if I felt worried, I should take him back in 3 or 4 weeks to see if he's gaining any by then.

His weight now puts him just above the 50th percentile - exactly as he was at birth!!! I remember they told me breastfed babies usually go up into the nineties over the first 6 months and then during the second 6 they tend to plateau out until they are pretty much back in the percentile of their birth weight. At the time Arthur was 10 months old and soooooooooo chunky that I simply couldn't believe it would possibly happen, hehe! But it has! I have a lil lean toddler now, how amazing. I am not too worried as he's eating well and very energetic and active all the time. I think I will take him back somewhere in January when he doesn't have a plaster cast on. The health visitor said I could be giving him more cow's milk, as he doesn't really drink it. He just has it on cereal. He likes to sip at my glass of milk when I have breakfast and I offer him as much from that as he will take, but it's never much. I gave him a sippy cup with milk in the other day and he took a little but only as though it was water (which he still doesn't drink much of in the day). His best time for a drink is just before bedtime. He seems thirsty then and gulps loads of water down!

He still nurses as much as he wants to in the day, and whenever he wakes in the evening, but the midnight-5am thing where I don't nurse him is going well. He sometimes cries for a minute and other times just snuggles up and goes back to sleep without a peep. Lately he doesn't wake in the evening so ends up going all night without nursing. Last night he slept 7.45pm till 2.30am before his first waking!!! He was unsettled till 3.15am but after that he woke at 6am for a long breastfeed and then up for the day! :) He sometimes still wakes like crazy though, and is becoming a bit difficult to get to sleep at bedtime. Sometimes he just wants Daddy in the bed with us too, and then he settles quickly to sleep by himself. He's so cute :)

I LOVE it in the mornings when he wakes. He nurses, and then suddenly pops off the breast and says with a little gasp of excitement, "Dada!" and then he launches himself over my body to get to Daddy for a cuddle :) He likes to kiss us both on the lips (still giving those wide open kisses so far!) first thing, and last thing before sleep. He has initiated that himself, which we absolutely love!

He looooooves his daddy at the moment! He loves me just as much as usual, but he is really into spending time with Daddy and getting to Daddy in the morning after he nurses, and if he's doing something where he wants us watching him, he is particularly keen that DADDY is watching closely, hehe! Otherwise he gets kind of annoyed ;) It's so sweet.

Arthur is really starting to have a go at words at the moment. He hasn't really shown any interest or ability on the speech front until this last week or so, except for having said "mama" for EVER and "dada" for a long time too, and then "wow" from his toy. He now says, "hot" (haa), "ear" (eee) and has recently tried "clock" and his first two-syllable word - "oven" (ohh-un)!

Oh he's awake. Will try to finish later.

Back again! He's having his afternoon nap and I am eating a HUGE bowl of cornish clotted cream vanilla ice cream with bright sprinkles!! :) How I long for some hot chocolate fudge sauce but oh well, we don't have any.

Okay where was I? Arthur is doing all sorts of new stuff. He is really interested in anything using his hands. His hand-motor skills are really coming on. He can pick up tiny bits of thread from the (perpetually dirty) carpet with his pincer grasp now. He LOVES his bricks and stacking cups most of all, and likes to lay a "foundation" of bricks very carefully on the floor, but runs out of interest for building another layer on top! They have to be placed just so on the floor, he is so particular! He stacks 3 cups on top of each other with ease, and is working on putting another on top. He can stack the whole set of cups inside each other in the correct order (after a lot of wrong order attempts!).

Continuing his love of all things laundry, he now actually HELPS when I empty the dryer! I make piles all around me of the different types of items so that they are easier to put away. I usually have a pile of cloth wipes building up on my left leg and a pile of nappy inserts on my right leg. Quite out of the blue the other day, Arthur seemed to figure out that one pile was specifically for cloth wipes, and proceeded to fish all the cloth wipes out from amongst the laundry in the tumble dryer, and pile each one on the wipes pile on my lap as he found it! I was so amazed. Today he did the same thing when I asked him to find the wipes for Mummy, and then started on the nappy inserts pile! He is such a tidy boy :)

Arthur communicates a LOT now with his own sort of signs. He does double signs that he made up himself, which involve him pointing to himself if the thing he's trying to communicate involves him. If he wants a drink of his water, he points at it and then immediately to himself. If I ask him if he wants a drink of water then he smiles and looks all shy, which is his way of telling me I understood him correctly! If I get it wrong then he just tries again with more earnest expression and noises and pointing! He is pretty easy to understand with his signs though, he is very clear with his pointing and stuff now. If he wants to go upstairs he points at the stairs and then in to his chest with both pointy fingers at once.

He cut his lip yesterday, poor baby. He had wedged a jigsaw board into his bricks bucket and was tugging and tugging to get it out. Of course it came out suddenly and banged him in the mouth as it did so :( He cried but he never really has hysterics over hurting himself, even when he hurts himself quite badly. He is quickly consoled by me cuddling him and offering him the breast, even with a sore lip to suck with, poor Boo! His lip was bleeding on the inside and it swelled up SO much, I was surprised! He looked so different for a while last night, but it's less swollen today.

He is teething like crazy at the moment, but no visible action. He has had two bouts of "teething" since he got his last tooth, but I haven't seen any changes in his gums at all, and now we're on the third bout, and I'm wondering if anything will happen at all this time! He hasn't had a new tooth in what feels like AGES. I think he got his last one at 10 months, so it's been 3 months now, which is a while! He still has 2 at the bottom and four at the top. My mum said I had the same six teeth at one year old, and at 13 months I got my TOP two molars, while still only having two middle teeth at the bottom! Of course they all filled in fast at the bottom after that. I wonder if Arthur's teeth will follow the same pattern that mine did? Anyway I hope this bout of teething actually PRODUCES something. I hate seeing him teethe but not seem to get anything out of it.

What else? I'm sure there were other things! Arthur is trying to put some pieces in his jigsaw but I haven't seen him manage to get them in properly. Neil said he got a piece in properly yesterday when I was taking a nap.

Slightly dreading the trip to Neil's family this week. I can't believe Christmas is this weekend coming!!!! That sneaked up so suddenly! Next year we'll actually bother with Christmas decorations. It's such a faff and the house is so messy that it seems kind of pointless. Next year Arthur will be more interested in Christmas so it will be worth doing properly. We didn't have any decorations last year either, but then we were illlllllll. Although we STILL have the decorations up from Arthur's birthday party!!! That feels naughty somehow, but he loves the balloons - which are taking for EVER to go down! - and the fairy lights are festive anyways.

So we leave for Yorkshire on Thursday. It will take us 5-6 hours to drive there, which I am dreading. Ugh! I am quite sure Arthur will not be thrilled after about hour ONE. There seems to be so much to plan when travelling with a little one! It was so much easier the last time we went, as he was only 11 weeks old and just slept the whole way there and back, and we stopped once each journey for me to pop him on the breast and then he was back to sleep again! This time we need to take his lunch, entertainment, changes of clothes/nappies, drinks, snacks, etc, etc. And in any case, he is sure to be very very cross for a good part of the journey! He doesn't sleep in cars at all any more, unless he has missed a nap and is wiped out. And even then it's only 30 minutes at best. Urrrgh. I hope it isn't going to be too awful.

When we're at Neil's parents, we will have to put Arthur to sleep in the pack and play travel cot. This he will NOT like. I put him in that a week or so ago for his afternoon nap at Granny and Grandoug's when we went there for lunch, and he screamed for ages until I got him up. He looked so scared in there actually, even though I lay right next to it where he could see me. He isn't used to being seperated from me in any way, or restricted in a box, since he has never had to be either of those things. Which I am PROUD of! But it makes it hard for him/us when we have no other choice. Poor lovey. He shouldn't have to be seperate from me if he doesn't want to be, at his age. And I would hate to sleep in a box with walls when I'm used to a large bed without walls, so I don't blame him for feeling that way either. I hate that I can't lie with him as he dozes off, or lie with him to nurse him. But their beds are tiiiny and not safe for Arthur now he's launching himself about everywhere! We'd never all fit in the bed anyway. Poo. So I hope that doesn't go toooo awfully as well.

Okay Arthur is waking, and I think I have written pretty much what I came to say (I'm sure I've still forgotten something though!) so I'll post this now. Hopefully I'll write again before we go, but if I don't then I won't get to use a computer till I get back (sometime on the 26th I think). So I will update after Christmas. And I hope everyone has a LOVELY Christmas!!! :)

(urgh, not posted till almost MIDNIGHT because Arthur switched the computer off by the power button and then there was no time until now (desperately trying to finish the Christmas cards all evening!)! Thank goodness I had saved it to Word!)