First conversation with Nathan!

Just a quick post, but for the sake of my own ridiculously fading memory, I had to write down my first actual conversation with Nathan, which happened this afternoon!

I took him upstairs for his nap, and he protested as usual. I put him in his cot, and he threw Monkey out onto the floor. I ignored the display and sat down on the floor.

Nathan: "Ah wantim!" (I want him)
Me: "You want who?"
Nathan: "Monkey! Ah wantim!"
Me: "Where is Monkey?"
Nathan: "On thlor" (pointing down)
Me: "Oh no! Poor Monkey! How did he get down there?"
Nathan: (pause) "Thow down" (gestures with arm)
Me: "Ohh I see. Poor Monkey. Do you want him back?"
Nathan: "Yes!"
I give Monkey back to him, and Nathan embraces Monkey lovingly, saying, "Ahhh, lovtly Monkey!"

I can barely restrain myself from sweeping him off his feet into my arms and squidgeling him into little pieces whenever (and I do pretty much mean WHENEVER) he talks at all. I do HAVE to restrain myself because you know, he has to learn to actually be able to talk without being snatched up and kissed till he squeals every time he starts to say anything! ;) Also he is often so serious about what he's saying to me, so I must sit on my fingers and bite my (quivering!) lips and just. not. squish. yet. Once he's finished saying his thing, I do though :)

Nathan has such a teeny chipmunky voice, and he has such sweet ways of saying certain sounds that I haven't heard from my other little ones. Like the word "floor" - he says, "thlor". I don't know why! It's funny because often "th" is a sound that is harder to pronounce so little ones tend to say "f" instead. Nathan is back-to-front with that one. He pronounces "f" sounds like "th", which makes for some serious cuteness over words like "floor" :)

Also his vowel sounds are unusual (to me, anyway!). They have funny little twangs - so when he says Matthew's name, he pronounces it "Meh-thseiouw" (if you can even sound that out, hehe!). I will have to make a video clip of him talking a bit. Our old camera that broke had video capabilities, but since then we have had no way of taking videos of our sweeties. I took video clips of Arthur's 5th birthday (STILL haven't posted about that, aaaaargh!!) but I can't get them onto the computer because I have lost the cable. Lost as in, it's somewhere in this awful pigsty of a home (can't seem to get on top of the terrible chaos) and could remain submerged until we move house (eventually!) or something. Urgh. The camera is broken in that it deletes images and videos randomly and won't hold many, and I daren't use it again till I find that cable. We've looked where we think it might be and it isn't there. Neil gets Love2Shop vouchers as part of his monthly bonus at work - they just arrive in the post for us every month! We have been saving them up, and have used VOUCHERS ONLY to buy all of the boys' Christmas presents! They don't cover an awful lot of shops, but they do cover Mothercare, Early Learning Centre, and HMV, so I looked in only those places for gift ideas and found just what I wanted for them all. There were a few little things not covered by the vouchers so I asked my grandparents if they wouldn't mind sending the boys' Christmas money a bit early so I could use it to buy and wrap presents for Christmas Day, and they agreed. I used some of that to buy non-ELC/HMV things. Neil and I aren't getting each other anything - we really don't need to, and we have all that we want or need anyway! My parents and grandparents give us generous gifts of money for us to buy things we'd like, and we are not supposed to use that money for anything other than something to pamper ourselves with or else support a hobby or something we'd enjoy. Lovely family! :)

But after the Christmas shopping, I still had some vouchers left, and then the next day, December's vouchers arrived in the post. Soooo, we decided I would take them to Comet (also covered by the vouchers) and shop for a basic point-and-shoot camera that Neil could use easily (he can't use the DSLR, he says!) and which also will take video clips! So yesterday I resevered a Sony Cybershot (yes, I do love Sony cameras! ;) ) at Comet, and being perpetually tired and woolly-brained, I then went to CURRYS and confused the staff over the fact that they couldn't find my reservation. They were great and showed me a lot of cameras, gave me demonstrations with several, found me a great deal, helped me choose a camera and memory stick, and then skipped me past the huge queue of people waiting to pay, to an unused till, where I happily handed over my vouchers. The lady said, "Oh. Comet?" And I felt like a reeeeal lemon! ;) So I was terribly apologetic and left, since I couldn't pay for the camera without the vouchers - it would have been too much money. I felt so bad because they'd been sooo helpful and got me a great deal and spent all that time with me! I felt even worse when I walked out of the shop, took a sharp right and turned straight into Comet next door, where I collected and paid for my *cough* reserved camera. Which was, of course, waiting for me.

But anyway! ;)

So we now have a new teeny tiny (these things get smaller and smaller every couple of years, don't they?!) slimline Sony Cybershot camera, which should take nice photos and which Neil will use a lot, and which the boys will NOT TOUCH AT ALL!!! They can have the one that takes photos but won't keep them too consistently! They don't mind that. And I will start taking a thousand video clips of my children asap. I feel so sad that I have no video record of Nathan's beginnings of speech like I have for Arthur and Matthew, and no video clips at ALL of baby Benjamin's first few months. I do have a couple of little clips from his first 6-8 weeks I think, but they're stuck on the old camera too. I can't wait to get going with the camera! I have so much I want to record for prosperity already! I will post clips as soon as I take them and figure out how to get them on the computer and up online. Yay!

I can't believe it's nearly Christmas already, and we're so not ready for it at all. We made precisely 3 Christmas cards (and started 2 more) - Arthur, Matthew and me. One went to my grandparents and that's it! Urgh. I so wanted to have it organised properly this year, but I seem to be really struggling to stay on top of life at the moment, and I have no idea why. Especially since being poorly with a bad cold - but it was just a bad cold so I don't see why that should throw things. We're almost completely better now anyway.

I wanted to write a blog entry about how I'm feeling in that department earlier today, but obviously have to wait till evening to write, and now evening is here I'm too tired to write that intensely! I need to ice the Christmas cake with the boys tomorrow or the next day, and that will be fun, but I had so many Christmassy things I wanted to do with them to make our own special family traditions and to make special memories with them, to spend some quality time and laugh together and feel cosy and Christmassy and joyful. I feel so sad that we have not done ANYTHING. I wanted to make Christmas tree decorations every day (we started one. Once. Last week. And it still isn't finished. And they were so enthusiastic, ahh I feel so bad.), bake various Christmassy treats - or at least decorate some sugar cookies (they were expecting to do this too) and we haven't. We did marzipan the Christmas cake we made in November, a week or two ago, and they had fun doing that, but it was kind of rushed knowing that I had a shortish window of time while Benjamin napped. I can't think what's thrown things suddenly, or how I managed before. Or how I ever will again. And how in the world did I ever home-school?!?! Because we're not doing that this week, and I am struggling to just get everyone dressed and nappies changed before the end of the morning, and then to get meals on the table at vaguely the right times. And that's without ME actually getting washed or dressed, OR eating, peeing or drinking for most of the day through the week. Yuck, I know. But I can't seem to cram it in, and I don't understand why NOT, and I can't fathom how I ever did! Or how I will again. I just feel in a rut that came from nowhere, like I can't quite keep my head above water still. I'm trying! My face is tipped riiiight up and my mouth and nose are clear of the water, but the water isn't keeping still and sometimes it slaps over my face, and my neck is getting tired. Maybe I am just tired and everything would be better if only I would get more sleep? I don't know. I can't stand the chaos all around me, and the boys probably can't either. Their behaviour is as chaotic as ever, which adds to the environment, which prevents me from having time to tackle the environment aspect, and thus continues the vicious circle.

Oh. I did write about the way I'm feeling! There we go! ;) But now I am going to bed because it is late and probably a good indication of the root of the problem! I need more self-discipline, but I am not doing great at that lately. I need to lean harder on Jesus.

I am so thankful for my children, and the nuggets of pure joy and love they surprise me with frequently, despite the difficult stuff! Like sweet little Nathey's tiny new spoken voice :)