Showing posts with label new baby. Show all posts
Showing posts with label new baby. Show all posts

Sunday, 24 June 2012

Four weeks in with six littles

Elijah is 4 weeks old! I need to update my pregnancy blog (where I keep posting about the baby's development and my recovery until about 6 weeks or so postpartum). We have done our first week with Neil back at work, and it did not go too badly! There were the usual ups and downs. I got such reassurance from reading my blog entries after each baby (mainly in my pregnancy blog) at the 3-6 week point, and finding that no matter the type or personality of baby I'd had, there were always the moments where it felt utterly impossible, and I absolutely did not know how I would manage. There were always the moments where I sat in tears saying, "I can't do it, Lord!" and it seems to be normal for me to be always feeling exhausted and moving about at running pace, sweating like crazy! Fitting in my own needs for food, drink, rest and the toilet is always hard, but not as impossible as I used to think it was. Last year's kidney stone might have something to do with me managing to find a way to keep my fluids up this time though! ;) I had forgotten how "normal" all those things are for me, in the first month or few with a new baby, so it was reassuring to read about the previous times.

Tomorrow is Monday, and another week begins with me in the role of mother-of-six-children-aged-7-and-under. I decided to make a plan for the week, because I am CLUELESS about how to go about looking after six small children (honestly, completely clueless). I have prayed about it ("Lord, please give me wisdom and guidance because I have no idea what I'm doing, and I need you!!!") and decided to plan a bit. I am not even sure whether that's a good idea, because deciding I should or shouldn't be achieving X, Y, or Z goals could be the wrong thing to do, and make things more difficult. I don't want to put too much on my plate - maybe the right thing to do is to free-wheel for another few weeks to get through the newborn phase and my own recovery from birth, like we spent last week doing? I don't know.

The thing that made me think to plan a bit for the week, is that we're about to start the last week of June - ALREADY!!! Then there's the first week of July, and THEN the plan was to start school again. That's just "this week and next week", which is suddenly very scary! I know things can change a lot in a couple of weeks with a very little baby, but still - yikes! I don't know how I am going to do homeschooling in just two short weeks when I can barely manage to remain standing with the children dressed for the day (they haven't been that even, some days) by evening time!! So I thought a simple (SIMPLE) plan might be a good idea to start getting myself into gear slowly.

Last week, like I said, we "free-wheeled". That is, my only goal was to keep myself and the children fed and hydrated, maintain nappy changes for FOUR children who are full-time in nappies (urgh) and basically survive. My biggest challenge, which I was nervous about before it all started, was to juggle naps for Samuel and Elijah. Samuel (who just turned 18 months, can you believe it?!?!) still nurses to sleep, and needs a nap mid-to-late morning. He gets up early for the day, usually 5.30am or thereabouts, and is tired out by 10am. This is GOOD, because he sleeps the rest of the morning and wakes up in time for lunch (noon-ish). Then he is good and tired at bedtime because it's been a while since he napped. I do NOT let him nap after lunch. It bodes badly for bedtime and night sleep! So I am glad that he takes naps in the morning and really try to encourage this. The problem is, Elijah is a pretty fussy baby and cries a lot of the time he is awake. He will not settle in the morning at ALL. He gets tired and will go to sleep if rocked/walked/breastfed/bounced in the bouncy chair enough, but usually I need to rotate all of the above until finally one of them gets him to sleep. This eats up ALL my time in the morning. I gave up trying quite so hard by Wednesday, as I had been spending most of the morning up in the bedroom trying to get him sleeping, but he would just wake up soon after going off to sleep so I would have to start all over again. Meanwhile the kids had no Mummy around, and Samuel was not getting his nap until way too late, and was tired and sad. I was stressed about all of those things and it was not a fun way to spend a morning! So, noticing that Elijah wouldn't stay settled and asleep in any case, I decided to just do all the usual things to settle him whilst downstairs with the boys, and not stress over the fact that he just wouldn't sleep or stay asleep all morning. That made things much easier, emotionally, but it still meant that I couldn't spent the 10-15 minutes needed to shut Samuel and myself in the bedoom and breastfeed him and start his nap. On Thursday (I think), Elijah actually went off to sleep for long enough, and at the right time in the morning, to get Samuel down for his nap! Great feeling! He is very unpredictable still, and most of the time there isn't a window. Whenever this occurred with Samuel (as the baby) and I was trying to get Benjamin down for a nap, he wasn't as young as Elijah and also was a VERY contented happy baby. I could just put him in the bouncy chair and ask Arthur to watch him for me and give him toys or bounce him a bit, while I put Benjamin to bed. I don't feel safe doing that with Elijah when he's this young, and also he's NOT happy for more than a minute or so! So this is still hit-and-miss, and will continue to be through the week ahead, but hopefully it will go okay...

Elijah does tend to sleep much better in the afternoon, but every time I think I can see a predictable pattern emerging, I soon learn that not everything is as it seems! ;)
The boys have done pretty well. They have watched waaaaay too much TV. We have found YouTube videos that have kept them really entertained. They have never seen Looney Tunes cartoons, Wacky Races, and things like that, before now. There are so many of those available on YouTube! So they have really enjoyed those, and spent most of their days laughing until their sides hurt! ;) They particularly like the roadrunner/coyote ones, and Tom and Jerry. I sometimes sit and laugh my sides sore right along with them! The three older boys have "quiet time" whenever they want to upstairs in their bedroom, usually only one or two at a time though otherwise it's anything but quiet! ;) They play with Lego, Lincoln Logs, and jigsaws mainly, and can enjoy that for hoooouuurs. The littler ones are happy downstairs anyway, which is good! Other than that, it's a boring old time for them while I adjust to managing, and try to ride out Elijah's "fussy" stage, which I know he'll grow out of, but it's not easy meanwhile. The bonus for the boys is that they now have a LOT of brothers to play with! Benjamin is nearly 3 and totally a part of the "older set" in terms of play, now. He's assertive, confident, and picks things up quickly, so although he's quite young really, he's well in there with them! Four little boys can play together, pair up in various ways, three of them can play together, etc. They are less and less listless and bored, the more siblings they have, as they have a lot of playmates now and really enjoy each other's company which is lovely to see.

Anyway,  must post this before I run out of time or Elijah has a few troubled hours and before I know it, I need to go to bed! I wanted to write out my simple goals for the week, sort of to keep track, but also so that I can look back on how I tried to manage things in the early weeks with a new baby, when I'm next in that position. I just want to have one thing to check off in terms of the boys, another in terms of the house, and a SIMPLE meal plan. Simple as in meals that are easy to make, as easy as possible really, even if they're not the ideal.

Okay now it's time I went to bed (much later in the day!) and Elijah is waking up about 5 minutes after I put him down, fast asleep. He's been up all evening, mostly crying, which isn't unusual for this little manny. Neil is wonderful and gets very involved, walking with him in his arms and all that stuff that I don't have the physical stamina for yet. We go back and forth when Elijah is crying for the whole evening, I breastfeed him and snuggle him on my front (sometimes he goes off this way if I'm patting his back), or else bounce him in the bouncy chair (Neil says he can't seem to do the rhythm that Elijah settles with, like I do). When those things don't work to settle him, Neil paces the living room with him. We often put worship music on. Elijah really likes music and often calms right down when he hears it. Anyway, must just copy and paste my plan for the week and then get ready for bed. Neil is walking with Elijah right now and I need to finish this quick. I am planning to get to bed at 10 or 10.30 this week as much as possible, even earlier if I can. Right now it's 10.40, which isn't ideal. The nights are REALLY broken so I need to get as much sleep as I can.

Week commencing 25th June 2012

Elijah is 4 weeks old. My "goal" with him this week is to try to establish some sort of pattern for his sleep/wake/nap/feeding by the end of the week. NOT a schedule, just a feel for his rhythm, as something to build on for the following week.

Monday 25th

* Appointments - none
* Meal - Vegetable soup, rice, grated cheese.
* Goal with children - Read stories (two different sessions for two different age ranges)
* Household goal - Laundry: 2-3 loads, including sorting and sweeping the kitchen floor afterwards.
* Meal prep needs - Thaw a "meat base" for Shepherd's Pie tomorrow.

Tuesday 26th

* Appointments - none
* Meal - Shepherd's Pie
* Goal with children - loads of jigsaws together. Get out ones they haven't done for ages.
* Household goal - Fold and put away laundry.
* Meal prep needs - Make mashed potato at 3.45pm. Top the Shepherd's Pie and bake 45mins around 4.15ish.

Wednesday 27th

* Appointments - Health Visitor coming here 10.30am.
* Meal - Beans on toast (boys). Salmon in white wine sauce with pasta and veg (us, later).
* Goal with children - Bake cookies or equivalent.
* Household goal - Tidy and sweep living room
* Meal prep needs - Get salmon out to thaw (am).

Thursday 28th

* Appointments - none, but put bins/recycling out for collection first thing.
* Meal - Macaroni cheese
* Goal with children - Do a prepared craft activity with them (prepare this one evening).
* Household goal - Dishwasher catch-up
* Meal prep needs - Start dinner at 4.30pm

Friday 29th

* Appointments - none, but remember to make/finish Tesco order online for delivery tomorrow.
* Meal - Pot roast
* Goal with children - read stories (two sessions for two age ranges)
* Household goal - Clean something in the bathroom (preferably the toilet, ew)
* Meal prep needs - Start the crockpot at breakfast time.

Saturday 30th

* Appointments - Tesco delivery in the morning.
* Meal - Pot roast sandwiches (lunch); Pasta with tomato/pesto sauce and cheese (dinner)
* Goal with children - 1-on-1 time (Mummy); Outing (Daddy)
* Household goal - buy and install a new toilet seat
* Meal prep needs - Make sure crockpot is clean; Put chicken in crockpot overnight.

Sunday 1st July

* Appointments - Cameron's 21st Birthday. Go to cemetary if chance.
* Meal - Chicken pasta bake.
* Goal with children - 1-on-1 time (Mummy); Outing (Daddy)
* Household goal - Plan next week; check bedding, change any/all if necessary.
* Meal prep needs - Use whole chicken from the crockpot to make chicken pasta bake starting at 3.45pm; use the rest to make 2 chicken and vegetable pies for the freezer (takes ages so use every free moment you have).

So that is the plan! I am not necessarily expecting to even get all of those simple goals met every day, but I'm going to try, especially where the children are concerned. I am not sure about the prepared craft thing - I SO want to, and they would so love it, but I am not sure if I will get chance on any evening to prepare such a thing. We'll see. I haven't written on the plan, but I also need to make sure I meet my own needs for 6-8 tall glasses of water per day and my vitamins. I started on Pregnacare breastfeeding/postnatal vitamin supplements at the HV's suggestion and I am remembering them for the most part. Also I am trying to eat well! Breastfeeding 3 littles here, including a very-frequently-feeding newborn! Neeeeeed to eat and drink well.

Okay, that's it. Elijah is awake and crying and I need to get ready for bed and take him with me so that Neil can go to bed. I hope he won't be up for a long time into the night, but we'll just have to see.


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Monday, 11 June 2012

Elijah has arrived!

I'm a bit late on updating this blog! I've been writing at my pregnancy blog frequently for a few weeks though, before and after Elijah was born, so you can catch up there in more detail if you don't follow that blog.

Elijah Douglas was born on Sunday 27th May at 2.20pm. He is my littlest (term) baby yet, having been "small for dates" in the last couple of months before he was born. He weighed in at 6lbs 8oz which isn't too bad at all! Such a sweet little bundle!

This photo was taken when he was 8 days old at a photo shoot my friend Paul from church kindly did for us, for free! He has never done newborn photography before, and I love how his photos turned out! To see the rest of them, I posted them here at my pregnancy blog yesterday.



Elijah was born at home, although we were back and forth on that because my waters broke 2 days before. In the end, there were no complications (other than a true knot in his cord, but he was FINE), labour was 3 hours-ish and all went well. I haven't written a complete birth story yet, but I wrote quite a bit of it here if you are interested. I will hopefully get round to writing a proper one when my doula gives me her notes so I can compile them with my memories of the experience! :)

Elijah is just over 2 weeks old now. He is doing great, feeding and growing well. He hasn't been weighed over the last 5 days, but the last time he was, he weighed 7lbs 2oz. He is going to be weighed again by the Health Visitor the day after tomorrow, so we'll see how much he weighs then! He feeds a lot, and has no particular pattern. Just lots! ;) He sleeps pretty well between feeds at night, and we are co-sleeping - this is the first time we have no baby bed set up anywhere in the house for a new baby! No crib, cot, Moses basket, nothing. He sleeps with me, since it went so wonderfully exclusively co-sleeping with Samuel for 16 months. I guess that is the plan, to do the same thing this time with Elijah, if it goes just as well. I love it! :)

The boys love him! Oh they love him! Arthur has been so excited, and Matthew too. The little ones ask to see him all the time - I have mainly been resting up for the first 2 weeks postpartum, like we have been doing since the 4th baby (Benjamin) was born. It makes a big difference to my recovery. Usually Neil goes back to work after 2 weeks, but Elijah's birth was timed very appropriately with the Queen's Jubilee weekend right afterwards, and that meant two bank holiday days within Neil's paternity leave (thus two extra days!). Matthew's 6th birthday is this Thursday (how on earth is my second son six already?!!!) so Neil had already booked that day off work as a holiday. His company have kindly cleared his calendar for the whole of this week since there was only really Friday left at work, and I have the luxury of my sweet hard-working hubby at home for THREE whole weeks after Elijah was born! He has been wonderful, so wonderful. He has done everything with/for the boys, including bedtime with all 5 for the first 2 or 3 nights without me, as I was either sleeping or breastfeeding. Since then I have breastfed Samuel (and sometimes Benjamin) at bedtime as usual, either with Elijah asleep in the other bedroom, or with Neil holding Elijah and having some bonding time, if he's awake. But Neil has done all the meals, nappy changes (except Elijah's of course!), outings, laundry, dishes, night wakings for the boys (Elijah's are obviously my responsibility!), everything. He has also brought me almost all of my meals in bed for nearly two straight weeks. He brings me water to drink, painkillers when I've needed them, and made sure I have everything I need. He has helped me when Elijah has had a couple of really fussy evenings and was FULL of milk but would not settle, by walking the house with him snuggled against his chest. My legs are jelly if I try to do that, which is normal for me so soon after having a baby.

He is such a WONDERFUL husband and daddy! I know he has been tired out with the boys' antics and not enough sleep at night sometimes. They haven't always been easy to manage! He is getting a better understanding for some of the things I deal with in the long hours that he's at work in the weekdays - those occasional times when I phone him saying I don't know what to DO with these kiddies, and I can't do it!! He totally GETS that now. ;)

Samuel is doing well with Elijah's arrival. He loves his new baby brother and is very interested in him. He likes to stroke him or pat him gently on his tummy. He is having a LOT of screaming tantrums, including rolling about the floor and banging his head purposely on whatever he finally rolls into (wall, table leg, etc.). I think some of that is probably to do with a new baby arriving, but he was doing it to a lesser extent before Elijah arrived, so I think it's partly the age/stage he's coming to. He definitely seems happier when I am downstairs snuggling him on the sofa or letting him breastfeed, and I am beginning to do that more and more now that I'm getting back to normal activities. I know he will settle more as I am back to normal more. But he's otherwise happy and settled, and enjoying his baby brother. He's still such a baby himself, at just 17 months!!! He looks ENORMOUS to me now, as the next baby up always does when a new one comes, but he's still my baby Samuel-beep! :)

Benjamin seems to be having no issues with Elijah, which is encouraging - usually it's the nearly-or-just-turned 3-year-old who has the most trouble adjusting, for our kiddies. Nathan didn't seem particularly troubled when Samuel was born (he was a few weeks from turning 3) so maybe it makes a difference that there are more older siblings who are thrilled and excited about the new baby? I don't know. Anyway, Benjamin is the youngest so far to have 2 little siblings, at 2 years and 10 months old. He will be 3 next month! Can't beliiieeeeve it! But he's doing great, and very keen on "The Lijah", as he pronounces Elijah's name! :) Nathan loves to see and stroke Elijah, and comments fondly on his every little twitch or squeak. He's just as happy to run off and play the moment he's distracted from Elijah though - he seems very settled in himself which is good to see! We will see how we all deal with the changes when Daddy goes back to work next Monday! :S I hope things will go smoothly. We are not planning to do any school work at all until July, so it will just be basically me adjusting gradually to the normal activity/workload of a 12-hour day without Neil around, and learning to juggle six little boys, and settling Elijah into some sort of routine of naps and feeds, etc. I'm actually feeling confident and looking forward to the challenge, which is good! :) I'm sure there will be bumps along the way, and days where I have no idea what I'm doing or how on earth I will cope! That seems to be normal after each baby.

I am doing fine, recovering quicker this time than after any of the others. Maybe it was the full night of sleep I had before the birth, the breakfast I ate hours before labour started, or the short labour itself that didn't drain me as much as longer ones would? Maybe it was the lack of stitches (for the first time, yay!!!) and pain therefore? I don't know. I have felt stronger much much sooner this time, and have been up and about sooner too. I did have a blocked duct in my breast last week, and ended up with a low fever and feeling really achy and fluey for a day or two. With Heather's help and advice, I managed to overcome that with massage, hot and cold compresses and LOTS of breastfeeding, and the lump has gone and I feel fine - phew! I have had a lot of headaches, but I seem to have allergies to something or other, especially when it's a windy day and I have the window open all the time. I sneeze a lot and get awful sinus pain in my face that nothing will fix, urgh. I have had a fine itchy rash on my face as well, which is weird, but it's mild and it comes and goes. No idea what I'm allergic to, as I never used to have allergies and have never had testing. Anyway, headaches, blah. But at least they are not there all the time.

I am so delighted with my tiny manny! He's just such a sweet little baby, and I love him so much! I'm so relieved that he's here safely, after a few worrying moments along the way when I was pregnant, and when my waters broke but labour didn't start. SO relieved and happy! :) He is waking up for a feed now, so I will stop. Here are a few photos of Elijah, taken 2 hours after he was born, when all his big brothers came in to meet him - look at Arthur's expression in the first one! That sums his whole experience up. He is SO thrilled! :) Elijah was 4 hours old in the last photo.






Here he is at 6 days old, sleeping where he always does, on my bed with me! :)



Off to feed my tiny sweetie! :)


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Monday, 24 January 2011

An attempt to catch up! :S

Well, it's about time I updated my blog, don't you think?! ;) It has been over 3 weeks since I last updated, and I have been increasingly wanting to get the chance to update with a load of thoughts and plans in my head to write down. So much is happening in my days now that my head sort of spins on its axis (I know! Who knew my head had an axis?! Apparently so.) and so I never remember a THING from day to day what with all the round-and-round-and-round-and-round that my head is doing all the time. Best to write it down when I get the chance! So here I am :)

I am sort of keeping up with updating my pregnancy blog about Samuel's early weeks. He will be 5 weeks old tomorrow, which is amazing to me. How fast that has gone! He's so lovely, and we all love him completely. The boys' only complaint about him is that they don't get to see him enough because he's upstairs napping for part of the day! Benjamin turns out to be a wonderful big brother, at 18 months old right now. He has not been wary of Samuel at all, just like the others have not been with the sibling right below them when they were his age. I LOVE this age gap! :) He is so gentle with Samuel, and often stops as he passes him in the bouncy chair to stroke his head or put his arms around him in the chair saying, "Cuddoh!", or to give him a kiss with a sweet little peck sound. He hates it when Samuel cries, and fetches nappies for him when I ask him to, and brings him his own favourite toys often. I love watching Benjamin be a big brother! :)

Ohhh there's so much to "make note of" that I think I will just have to do a quick summary of each thing as I come to it, and then start another seemingly random subject in the next paragraph, otherwise I'll never get much of it written about before I have to stop for today!

Nathan turned 3 this month, on January 12th. I just can NOT believe that tiny boy is three! For a few weeks there I had three children aged 2 and under! :) So much fun! Neil had to work on Nathan's birthday, but he had a good day because that week my parents were here to visit, as it was Neil's first week back at work after paternity leave. They stayed with my grandparents and came to visit for the whole afternoon every day for 6 days. They played games with the boys and read stories, brought me lunch every day, and generally were lovely to have around!

Here's my daddy reading a story to Matthew, Nathan and Benjamin (they were forever presenting him with books to read - this is how all the boys are generally. They NEVER get tired of being read to, which is lovely!). Benjamin sees me! ;)



While he was doing that, my mummy was playing a fun geography game with Arthur (which she gave Matthew for Christmas, and he loves it too, but Arthur is intensely interested in geography so would play this at any opportunity!):



And Samuel was in the bouncy chair for a moment while I took photos! :) He was sleeping (2-and-a-bit weeks old here):



On Nathan's birthday they brought him a present and he had fun with them here. We had birthday cake (he asked specifically for a chocolate cake with chocolate icing and Smarties, and it had to have a James (from Thomas the Tank Engine) theme). I made him a cake with James copied onto it with ready-made writing icing. I wish I could have made a James-SHAPED cake but it was too much with everything being so new and exhausting that week! I also forgot to take a photo of the cake :( It's on video but I haven't uploaded it to see if there's any sort of evidence of it yet. I made Smarties into the number 3, so that incorporated his Smarties wish! :) Nathan got a few Thomas-related presents like stickers and a Thomas memory card game. He got some jigsaw puzzles - he LOVES doing those. He is putting together puzzles of up to about 30 pieces now, and those challenge him enough for now. Matthew is putting together 50-60 piece puzzles and can do those fine but will ask for help and think he can't manage without it! Benjamin is putting 2 pieces together, that sort of thing! ;) And Arthur is doing 150-200 piece puzzles, which he really enjoys doing. He sits and sings and hums and clacks his tongue and so on, happily in his own little world, while he puts puzzles together. Arthur's favourite puzzles are the world map with flags, or ones with lots of dinosaurs on, hehe! Nathan's are vehicle or Thomas related, but he'll do ANY puzzle because he so enjoys putting the pieces together and completing it. Matthew seems less enthusiastic in general about jigsaw puzzles than Arthur and Nathan, but still does them eagerly.

Oh yes! Nathan's birthday! Off on a tangent there! ;)

Sooo he is three! Officially a "big boy" in our family - this is the age we make a big thing about reaching. He has been quite happy to be a little boy until this month, and reminded me often that he and Benji were still "little boys". He is telling me how he weew not ever sit on a potty, but that he might do that when he's a big boy! I think that's why he's been reminding me such a lot that he's still a LITTLE boy, hehe! But now he is a big boy! We don't start potty training our boys until age 3 and a quarter at the earliest. Matthew was not ready in the slightest until a YEAR later than that. He is now 100% potty trained in the WEE department. He very rarely has an accident and can hold on if he needs to. He is still in nappies at night (we haven't even considered night time potty training yet for him), and he is NOT there with his poos yet. He still does all of his poos in a nappy. He just tells me when he thinks he needs to do one and asks for a nappy, so I put one on him. He has done a few on the big toilet and gets mightily rewarded for doing so, as per the consultant's recommendation last year! But he mostly opts for the nappy. He is still anxious about it, but we're just playing it cool and trucking on. The consultant he saw said that he is sure that Matthew doesn't have any physical problems, and that he'll get the hang of it eventually. He had a follow-up with a community support team but it was scheduled for Jan 11th and I could not manage to get all the little ones out to it so soon after having Samuel with Neil not here to help me, so I postponed it until March. We're not concerned about Matthew at the moment, and it's really just an appointment for reassurance. I know he's 4 and a half and "late" for potty training (he would be halfway through his first proper year of school if he wasn't homeschooled! Can't imagine putting him through that without being fully potty trained), but I know he'll get there in his own time.

Sooo, pretty soon I will start floating the idea with Nathan. If he asks sooner than April then we'll try it sooner. I think he'll be more ready than Matthew was, and it won't be such a difficult process this early. He DOES have major issues with poos, and has done for at least 6 months now. He won't do them. He holds on for several days, getting more and more miserable and worried in the last couple of those days, and then finally poos with much tears and screaming. We pretty much have to help him most of the time, because he resists the whole time and clamps his legs together. So that part might not be so good for the potty training! But hopefully it will be a different story on the potty, who knows? I am not feeling impatient at all about getting him out of nappies. I feel in NO hurry, and it's another thing that signifies him growing up so I am kind of sad to think of it, in all honesty! I have also been changing nappies without a break for 6 years, and 3 different children in nappies for the last 3 years, so I am 100% used to it now, and it will feel strange one day not to change a bunch of nappies all day long, lol! I actually like it. I know I'm probably strange, but I don't mind it at all. I do not miss cloth nappies one bit! ;) We used them for 3 years and now we have used disposables for 3 years and I have not looked back once, which surprises me. I did LOVE cloth, but I really really don't miss it. I like the ease of disposables, and with four kiddos in nappies I NEED that ease right now! ;)

We are back to school for the first time in MONTHS next week!!! So exciting! I set the first week of February as the time we'd start back up, because that would give me 6 weeks from having Samuel, and that's what the wise advice was at MOMYS. Also I had planned last summer that we would change our academic year to match the calendar year, instead of starting in September like the schools do. We were behind because I had been morning sick and we'd done very little school during that time. We did school through the summer and then stopped in September to do the Big Bedroom Swap and lay laminate flooring in the living room. That dragged on (ohhh did it drag on!) and then we sort of blinked and Neil was starting a new job at the beginning of November, which was a big change for us all. I reached full term in my pregnancy at the same time and, well, school didn't happen in the autumn after all. We did a loose school schedule and based it on an autumn theme, doing autumn crafts and learning as much about autumn-related things as possible from books. I like what we did so much that I am going to make a seasonal box for each season, to pull out when a new season starts! I got a lot of things for our autumn theme - squirrel, leaf and tree shaped cookie cutters, primary school age books on squirrels, hedgehogs, and seasonal changes for autumn, autumn stories and poems (lots of these!), and collage items, craft ideas, and printouts with an autumn theme. I think I will box all those things up together and bring them out next autumn, because it will be fresh and exciting to open it all up again by then, and I will have a bunch of ready-prepared things to get stuck into for the preschoolers (which will be Nathan and probably Benjamin by then as he'll be 2 and a quarter and will probably go for the crafty stuff!).

Anyway, so that was "school" in the autumn. We had a total break from the very end of November and haven't done anything since. Except that we've given the boys a free rein to explore and learn about anything they're interested in. I have been guilt-tripping all winter about it, hehe! But how surprised I have been, because Arthur has learned so much more in the months that I haven't done school with him, than when I was doing school before that! He wasn't reading as such before, when we were still doing our Rocket Phonics reading lessons. He COULD read the exercises in each lesson, so I guess he was reading. But he couldn't pick up an easy reader lying about the house and read it. He couldn't read Green Eggs and Ham yet or anything like that. Then I stopped teaching him. And now he's reading! He just taught himself, and I started to notice that he would tell me something he'd seen on a world map, and I would ask him how he knew it, and he just said, "I read it." So I began to wonder if maybe he could read more things than I thought he could. Over time he has become more and more fluent at reading, and sits reading the animal encyclopedia, the main encyclopedia and the children's atlas, usually at least a couple of hours a day in total. He used to pick up those books and beg me to read him facts from them, but I couldn't keep doing it for as long as he wanted me to! So in the end he seemed to just determine to read it himself! And he did!

When my parents came over, my mum brought some Oxford Learning Tree readers that she had found at the studio (my dad's business just closed - he ran a studio that made audio books, and when they cleared it out they found a TON of children's books and things in the book archives). She wondered if they would come in handy somewhere down the line. I don't know anything about that range, even after googling, because I couldn't seem to find out much about what sort of ages or abilities matched which books. The books she gave us were the complete set of level 6 and level 7 - very good to have! When I looked at them, the stories seemed way too hard for Arthur. I didn't KNOW that but I just thought they looked complicated. They had most of the different phonics combinations, silent letters, long words and so on, so I figured he would not be ready for that for a while, even though he's reading. I told my mum I was planning to do some sort of assessment on his reading when we started school again, so that I could see where I should pick up in his curriculum. Nice confident plan, but actually I had NO IDEA how I was doing to assess him or how I would know what to do next! Sometimes I wonder why on earth I am trying to teach my own children at home! ;) I really have no clue what I'm doing, do not be deceived if for a second you ever think maybe I do, hehe!

Anyway I put the books on the stairs to take up with me later in the day. Arthur saw them after my parents went home that day, and asked if I could read one to him. I told him they were readers, which he would read himself one day, and he was excited and wanted to read one RIGHT NOW! I told him he wasn't ready for them yet, because I thought the words inside were too hard for him right now, but that we'd learn more with Rocket Phonics soon and then he would be ready to read them in a few months maybe. He was determined to prove me wrong, and said he WAS ready and he was sure he could read them. He was so persistant that eventually I said he could try reading a Level 6 book. He chose the last book in that series and brought it downstairs to me, absolutely bristling with enthusiasm!

He read the whole book, cover to cover, fluently without a break. He did not struggle with silent letters or words with phonics sounds like "ou" or "ai" in them, or longer words like "adventure" or "dangerous". He asked me a couple of times what a word said - "light" was one of them, and I think "thought" was another. I was just speechless, because I totally did not have any idea that he could read like that! I knew he was reading stuff but I had never heard him sit and read a story to me, especially one that was quite a hard story for a young reader! It just wasn't something I expected, that's all. Soooo, now I don't know what to do with his phonics lessons! I am going to read through the Rocket Phonics curriculum this week to get an idea of where I should pick up lessons with him. Or whether it's possible that continuing the curriculum would be a bad idea? I don't want to be pedantic and boring about it, if he's chomping at the bit to devour stories and can do so much more than the curriculum is offering him. He still needs some instruction on various aspects of phonics though, so I am not sure how to play it really. For now, our reading lessons (when they start) will be Rocket Phonics for Matthew, and listening to Arthur read one of these readers every other day. They're quite long and he was tired after reading the last one, so I think half a book a day would be a better pace. It will help him build up his reading stamina in any case.

We are all eager to start maths again! It seems a long time since we've done that subject now, and the Right Start Math curriculum is SO much fun! I can't wait to start that up again with Arthur. He is about 8 or 9 lessons from the end of Level A, and we have Level B set up and ready to go. I will pick up where we left off with Arthur, and begin at lesson one of Level A with Matthew on Monday! How exciting!!! Matthew gets all breathless thinking about it, and his eyes shine, and my heart just melts when I see him look like that! He's such a sweetheart, and I love his excitement over starting school. He is in awe that he'll actually be allowed to start proper maths!

The only other academic thing I plan to focus on is writing. Just the 3 "R"s this year, and the rest child-led. Child-led has astounded me, but I get too nervous to actually pursue "unschooling" completely! It is just incredible how much Arthur knows for his age, and NONE of it has been taught by me. It's completely led by Arthur. He is passionate, and I do mean PASSIONATE about geography. He has several intense interests (animals, science, dinosaurs, history and geography - none of which are "subjects" that we've ever done at school yet) and spends time every day learning stuff about them. I absolutely cannot stop him, even when I WANT to (and sometimes I do!). He seems to me to particularly favour geography-related things. I asked him recently which of those subjects made him the most excited, and he said that was a difficult question to answer but he would have to say "the world" was his favourite thing to learn about. I asked him why, and he said, "I don't know... It's just so.... so INTERESTING!"

He has a globe and a children's atlas, and we look at online maps and things. He has books about animals that have information about the part of the world they live in, and so on. He remembers everything he is told, the first time he is told it. He has an amazing visual memory and if he sees a country on a map, and I ask him about that country at a later point, he'll trace the shape of it in the air with his finger as he's trying to describe it to me, so I know he "sees" it in his visual memory even having just seen it once.

He's especially interested in animals that have become extinct, and can tell me a lot of different animals that I've never heard of and the years they became extinct. He knows random facts about the world like Greenland is part of the Kingdom of Denmark, and there's a river dolphin in India (I forget its name, but Arthur doesn't!) which is critically endangered and there are only between 100 and 500 of them left. He can tell me all these distinct differences between dozens and dozens of different kinds of whales and dolphins (from a book) and how each one breaches and whether they're shy or inquisitive, endangered or locally common, and what exactly it is that is threatening their numbers. He knows all his continents and oceans, and can name pretty much any flag of the world by sight. He LOVES flags! :) My mum got him a Flags of the World sticker book for Christmas, and he has put all the stickers in place and now just sits reading it. From that book he has started to tell us the exact DATE this or that country adopted its flag!!

I am not remotely trying to brag about my boy here, but I am honestly just astounded by him on a regular basis. I also desperately want to record all this kind of thing somewhere so that I have reference of it as he learns more and gets older - stuff to look back on, and something to chart his progress sort of. I have been longing to write stuff here for a couple of months, but never found time. It is going to sound like I am showing off the stuff he can do or the things he knows, but I DON'T want to do that, because I don't care what other people think in any case, and also I can't stand it when other people do that about their kids! I would not want to. I just want to be transparent and honest about my thoughts about him, and also be honest about how excited I feel that he's so bright and learning at such a pace with such enthusiasm! I also LOVE how it's nothing to do with me, haha! I can't boast in anything, other than the LORD who gave him the brain that he's got. I'm proud of him but I really can't take any PRIDE in it, you know? And that's good for me.

Also I should probably be honest and say that a lot of the time I really struggle with having an Arthur around when he's zinging with information! I LOVE having my Arthur around, of course, but it's the part where he never switches off for a millisecond, from waking at 6.15am or so, to falling asleep at 8pm or so. Random and quick example: last night I tucked him into bed, put my arms around him and told him for the 7th time to stop talking and asking me questions because now it's time to go to sleep. There was finally quiet for about 30 seconds. I pulled back from him and stroked his hair off his forehead and whispered, "Night night lovey. Have sweet dreams." He replied, "What's 12 and another 12? I can't remember, and we haven't done maths in AGES so it's not adding up right on the abacus in my head." I feel WEARY sometimes, and I feel guilty for that because it's TOTALLY AND UTTERLY A WONDERFUL THING that he's like this, learning and eager and never wanting to stop. I should embrace it every single second and give give give to him at every opportunity, no matter if it's starting to frazzle my brain or tire me out. I shouldn't think, "Oh please just STOP telling me facts! Please BE QUIET about the bowhead whale! I really just don't CARE any more about when Macedonia adopted its flag! NO MORE QUESTIONS, PLEASE!!!" And I certainly shouldn't think that on even a semi-regular basis. I feel guilty. But honestly it does drive me absolutely batty a lot of the time. He is so intense! Everybody comments on it, EVERYBODY. My dad says he's glad that Arthur is being homeschooled because he thinks Arthur would have a hard time from other kids at school, and be bored senseless in any case. That sounds a bit extreme but I believe he's right because it was my own experience and Arthur is uncannily like I was at his age, in the same ways too. My grandfather thinks Arthur is "exceptional" and therefore should have the benefit of being in school. *sigh* I think I am doing a good thing for him, and depsite my struggles with his intensity sometimes, I do love teaching him new things and hearing his enthusiastic chatter. I love seeing him learn and grow and change, and I consider it an incredible privilege to be the one to share it with him, to be involved entirely in every aspect of his learning. I would NEVER rather send him to school, even for the "break". I can't fathom having or even wanting a break, physically, from any of my kids! Mentally, maybe, for some quiet-head time, but I wouldn't want them away from me just for the sake of me. It seems sad to me when I hear mothers saying they don't know what to do with their kids because it's the school holidays, or bad weather - are they so unused to the constant company of their children?! How sad, if so! :( Or the other one about not being able to wait until school starts again so they don't have to have the constant company of their children! It seems almost universal too. I do not get that at all, and it makes me feel sad.

Samuel just woke for a feed and it's getting late now so I will have to stop. Oh but the other aspect of school this year is going to be Bible-based, and general focus on learning about God (and living for Him), and some Scripture memorisation too. I want to do much more than we managed to do last year, because it's more important than all the academic stuff put together. I'll also build in a part of our school morning for them to learn about anything they are interested in, since that seems to be going so well! I also want to start preschool as a regular block in the morning before school, with Nathan and Benjamin. Just motor skills and stuff like cutting, sticking, colouring, jigsaws, crafts, etc. I can't WAIT to really get stuck into school this year! Next year we'll start science, geography and history as subjects, definitely with a curriculum for science (I'm pretty set on Apologia Science so far but will wait to buy it until nearer the time, in case I find anything I somehow like better (but I doubt it!)), and maybe a curriculum for the others, if I find one I like. So far I think I may end up just doing geography and history "off the cuff" (!!) instead of from a curriculum, as I think that will suit us better. Music! That's the other thing! Oh but no time to talk about it now, tsk! Must go to bed!

Other things to mention another time (so I don't forget!):

* Photos! Loads to post.
* New vehicle! Trading in our Citroen C8 (7-seater minivan) for a Renault Trafic (9-seater minibus) NEXT WEEKEND!!!
* Benjamin's stuff - speech, mannerisms, sweet little habits, things he's doing now, etc. Loads of changes for little Benjaminny! Love that sweet little manny!
* Haircuts - just starting another round of much-needed haircuts! Have done Nathan's last week, and need to do the other three this week. Benjamin first (gulp! Not sure he'll tolerate it!) because his is actually getting in his eyes.
* More school-y waffle, hehe! Thoughts and plans and ideas! I'm just so excited about it!
* Neil's work - going well! Good things in the pipeline perhaps, too!
* Moving thoughts - we need to move this year.
* Just waffle about being Mummy to my five littlies :)
* Probably tons more but I am forgetting it all now. Must go to bed!

Hopefully I will update again soon!

Oh and thank you Annie for the links you keep posting! :) I DO like you to post them, and am definitely still interested in adoption blogs! Thanks for taking the time to tell me about them! I haven't looked them up yet but I will do!

It's Neil's birthday tomorrow, although he'll be at work. Today the three eldest boys each made a card for Daddy - Nathey is doing great with scissors and glue, I am noticing! A first for him today! We also made a birthday cake together in the afternoon, so it has been a fun day. Benjamin and Samuel took their naps - I have no choice but to make SURE they coincide, which is very helpful for the other three doing "big boy" activities while they sleep (and school, next week!). So tomorrow we'll do cake and presents at some crazy hour (7am? Earlier?!) before Neil has to go to work. He gets home right as they are about to get in bed, so it can't really be done then. It's a long day without Daddy for the boys :( But I hope he has a good birthday, and I'm glad he'll have cake to take with him! And the boys are SO excited! They love a birthday! :)

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Friday, 31 December 2010

A Lovely Year!

It's New Year's Eve and there are about 20 minutes left before midnight. I just felt like briefly reflecting on things, because that's what happens as you wait for one year to end and another to begin, isn't it?!

Oh I will miss 2010! I have loved this year, and I feel sort of sad to see it come to an end. I love the even number (petty detail I know!). Neil spent most of the year out of work and I guess it could be easy to see the negatives from this past year, but honestly I can only see the blessings. How wonderful it has been to have him home from work all the time for such a long time! He has been so great with the boys and so helpful to me around the house. And how God has blessed us by providing for us along the way - we somehow scraped by! And then by blessing Neil with a new job to keep us going in November. And he really likes his job, which is great!

In March, I got pregnant with Samuel, and so I have spent basically the whole year pregnant. I LOVE being pregnant! :) It's such a blessing (yes, I think I will be using that word a lot this entry - I just feel like I have a LOT of them to count right now). Samuel was born on December 21st at 1.41pm, in my bed at home! He weighed 9lbs 9oz and was 59cm (23.5in!) long!! My biggest baby by far! There are photos and such at my pregnancy blog but I will try to get some photos up here too soon. Right now he is 10 days old and Neil is still at home on paternity leave. It is unpaid so we'll feel the pinch of that pretty soon, but never mind. He was not eligible for paid paternity leave because he had only just started the job, but they were very willing for him to take the time all the same, and we felt it was important enough to take the financial hit. Thankfully Christmas and New Year are falling right within the 2 weeks he is taking, which is wonderful for our time as a family over the Christmas holidays, but also there are 2 Bank Holiday Mondays within it, which save him taking unpaid leave on those two days! :) He is going back to work on Jan 4th, which is coming up pretty soon actually! I am resting completely, mostly in bed nursing or napping. Last time we discovered it was the best way for me to be the most efficiently recovered by the time Neil went back to work, and this time it seems to be working out that way too. I feel very well rested already, and am eager to get stuck into the housework (of which there is PLENTY building up, yikes!) and my days raising FIVE little boys now.

I am so very blessed to have five children, and five sons at that! I feel somewhat nervous about the task ahead of me, especially getting used to juggling five and sleep deprivation and homeschooling (though I am not turning my thoughts to school until the end of January, to give myself chance to adjust first), and alllllll the constant discipline and so on that's involved in mothering so many little boys! I am pretty sure I am completely inadequate to the task, but THANKFULLY (oh so thankfully!!!) I have Jesus. And I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. Pheweee. Because otherwise I would be toast! But I've got to remember to lean on Him and not try to do it in my own strength all the same, because if I forget to do that, I will also be toast. Yes.

I always miss being pregnant when I'm not, and that has kicked in already! So I'm sad to leave 2010 behind and move on to a new year. Since 2004 I have been pregnant every year:

2004 - Arthur was conceived and born.
2005 - Matthew was conceived.
2006 - Matthew was born.
2007 - Nathan was conceived.
2008 - Nathan was born, and Benjamin was conceived.
2009 - Benjamin was born.
2010 - Samuel was conceived and born.

How BLESSED am I?!?! Just looking at that list fills me with such joy! Now 2011 would feel strangely empty without some part of a pregnancy in it, and I am praying that God will bless us again later this year. I don't think I could ever get tired of having babies. Raising them is much much harder, but I would not want to be doing anything else all the same.

Well there are 4 minutes to go until midnight. I am sitting up in bed with my laptop, and Samuel is sleeping next to me in my bed. We have no TV so I can't count down and see Big Ben's "bongs", but oh well. I hear fireworks already all over the place. Right after this, I will snuggle down with my tiny boy and he'll probably wake and I will nurse him and fall asleep with him. I love my life. I am so happy and feel so blessed. I'm so thankful for this past year, and feel excited and eager about the year ahead. Nervous, if I forget to look at God, but otherwise just happy and excited. Thank you Lord! I love you!

Happy New Year everyone! Be blessed and healthy in 2011!

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Tuesday, 14 December 2010

Waiting for baby...

I know it's been ages since I updated here! NOT intentional, as always, but... you know how it is. I have so much to write about, and so many photos to post. Right now I just wanted to update to say that I am waiting for Samuel to arrive. He was due yesterday, and I have no signs of labour yet. I really hope he will come soon because I am so exhausted and uncomfortable now! I LOVE being pregnant and will miss it as soon as I'm not anymore, but I am eager to meet my new sweetie pie, and to have the labour and birth over and done with - the anticipation is making me quite anxious!

Neil has a new job about a 40 minute drive away, further into London. He started in November - the day before Arthur's 6th birthday (which I MUST write about!!!), and it is going really well. I have adjusted to being the sole parent at home looking after the boys for 12 hours a day (he's out from about 7.30am to 7pm), though the first week was really really hard! We are not currently doing formal school, and plan to start the new academic year with the calendar year - which we might continue permanently, I'm not sure yet - although I am not planning to get back into school during January. I'm giving myself 6 weeks before taking that on (have no idea how to manage it yet!) but if all is going smoothly before then, we'll probably start a bit earlier. Meanwhile they're learning a TON, it seems, just by following their own leads, and by the fact that we have a crazy amount of books full of information lying around! I wish I had time to tell you some things about Arthur - he is changing so much and learning like I can't believe, even though we haven't done school since late summer. We have done a relaxed autumn theme through the autumn, not every day, just here and there. We've learned about migration and hibernation, and seasonal changes and so on. They learned about the northern and southern hemispheres and why the seasons there are different. We did autumn crafts and baking, and read books about autumn, animals that we associate with autumn, and just lots of stories related to autumn. I have kept up a daily read-aloud session when Benjamin goes down for his nap late morning, usually for 1-2 hours straight. At first it REALLY taxed my voice and made me feel very tired! But I am used to it now. That's the time I read them classics and things that are generally a bit older than their age level. We've read various different things, most recently Heidi, and then the first two Paddington Bear books. I have more Paddington books coming for Christmas (they LOVE it!), and then other books lined up like finishing the Little House on the Prarie series, Wind in the Willows, The Swiss Family Robinson, Robinson Crusoe, etc. Arthur was SO taken with Heidi, and seemed to keep up fine despite the language being more complicated than he knew to understand a lot.

So that is what we've been doing. I want to assess Arthur's reading soon. We were doing Rocket Phonics in the summer but we haven't done any reading lessons since. He seems to have taught himself to read a LOT since then though, and I now have no idea how much he's actually able to read. I guess I'll find out once we get back to school in February! :)

I will update again soon with news of Samuel's arrival, but if you're looking for potentially TMI regular updates with progress and news as it happens (!!), my pregnancy blog is the place to find it in the meantime! :)

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Wednesday, 28 July 2010

Baby #5 is a....

Just a quick post to say that I had my 20 week scan today! Here's my sweet little treasure!



Everything looks great, the baby is measuring average for dates and all the various organs and parts look healthy and normal. So relieved and thankful! I posted in more detail at my pregnancy blog a couple of hours ago but got no comments, so I am going ahead and posting my lovely news everywhere else! I like to post big news for blog readers ahead of Facebook usually so people can "see it here first"! :) You can see a couple more profile pics of the baby at my pregnancy blog.

We DID find out the baby's gender!....

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That's right! Five boys!!! :D I am so happy, because I have felt that this baby is a boy from the early on. We picked his name at 5 weeks pregnant and I just KNEW that that was who was inside me from that moment on. His name is Samuel Robert. Samuel means "heard of God" or "God has heard" - I love that! He has truly heard my prayer for more precious little ones and blessed me abundantly!

PLEASE DON'T LET ON ABOUT HIS NAME AT FACEBOOK!!!!

We save the name for when we announce that the baby is born, for all but family and my bloggy friends! :) A lot of friends from church and so on follow me at Facebook and I don't want them to know his name until he is born. Thank you! :)

I will be back with a normal update soon! I just want to shout my news from the rooftops today! :D


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Thursday, 3 September 2009

Maths curriculum! And other improvements :)

I'm back! So soon! ;) Thanks so much for the comments on my last post! It was lovely to read them. I will have to look into those junior Magnetix things - thanks for the tip, girls!

Not much to say tonight. It's getting late so I should be getting to bed. But I am determined to get back into updating much more frequently here!

Benjamin was asleep by 8.20pm tonight! That is a big improvement. Neil is walking back and forth with the baby in his arms for AN HOUR before he is suitably asleep for putting down (and not waking) at the moment. He is literally not going to sleep by any other method, except sometimes on the breast. He is also not sleeping well at all during the day right now. He goes to sleep many times but can't seem to stay asleep. This is the trouble we've had since he was about 3 weeks old, and it's difficult to deal with, with 3 other little ones to attend to! I had all these plans, to have him napping well from early on, and to use the Amby Hammock which is reputed to have a near-miraculous effect on babies. In our very limited experience it does not! Well, I gave up on it after about 2 weeks (if that!) because I was spending way too much time (HOURS in total, out of the day) away from the other boys, trying to rock/bounce Nathan to sleep or resettle him after he woke. He can fall asleep WELL, but very very rarely is he able to STAY asleep.

Lately I've opted for the easiest way to manage and still be there for the other boys - he is downstairs with us all the time, and naps in the bouncy chair. When he's tired and cranky, he goes in the chair and I bounce it with my feet and thus have hands free for tending to little ones (my legs can seriously do some impressive angles with my feet staying attached to the bouncy chair to rock it while I'm sitting on the floor changing a nappy, haha!). At first this was a bit like that thing where you pat your head and rub your tummy at the same time, but I'm getting used to it now! ;) It reminds me of the early weeks with Matthew. He was my baby who cried the most early on, out of all of them. He cried 3 hours every evening, and good chunks of the day too. I couldn't seem to do anything to stop him crying, so in the end I eased off on the stressful strenuous efforts, and just bounced him in the bouncy chair with my feet with him SCREAMING his head off for what seemed like ages at a time, while I built Duplo with Arthur to give him some quality time! It was hard, but I'm less stressed about it this time. Benjamin is actually way more easy-going than Matthew was at this age, so it's not nearly so bad, but I still don't like that he sits in the chair and cries. I bounce him, and he DOES go to sleep and stop crying, but he can't stay asleep. Somebody's noise wakes him (they're all three VERY noisy and it's like pulling a donkey through mud to get them to quiet down!), or else I stop bouncing the chair and he wakes (pretty much instantly, although sometimes I get 30 seconds!). Once or twice a day he does stay asleep if I bounce him for a LONG time (at least 40 mins) after he has gone to sleep, and then he will sleep for maybe 30 minutes at the most and wake again.

I REALLY want him to have a peaceful quiet place to go to for his naps, like upstairs with the door shut, like the others have done. But I can't get him to sleep and stay asleep for ANYTHING and any efforts I make towards this take huge amounts of my time and attention away from the children, which won't do. So, he's downstairs and not sleeping well for now. I am waiting till he's 4 months old and then I will get a bit more serious about sorting out his sleep. With Nathan I started a "pick up, put down" (times infinity) thing when he got to about 6 months old, and that worked, but it DID take me away from the boys downstairs for a long time eacy day. It was worth it though. I want to start that earlier with Benjamin, but I think he's too little yet? I'm annoyed that I can't find my Secrets of the Baby Whisperer book that I used with Matthew and Nathan! Tsk! I have tried The No-Cry Sleep Solution book before without ANY success whatsoever, so I'm not motivated to go that route really. I'm not willing to leave my baby to cry until he falls asleep, but I will definitely take crying in the mix as I stay with him to teach him to fall asleep on his own and resettle himself. I used to be SO anti-any-sort-of-crying when it was my first baby, seriously. Some of you will know that already! ;) But oh how it changes when there are a bunch more little ones and sanity to preserve! I need things to work for the family as a whole.

Benjamin DOES sleep pretty well at night. He wakes lots for milk, like they have all done, but what I mean is, once the effort has been made to get him to sleep in the evening, he stays asleep all evening (well, from the 9.30 bedtime he has chosen to set up!) and then wakes maybe somewhere between 12 and 1am, and then again a couple more times before waking for the day somewhere after 7am. It's lots of wakings and I'm tired, but it's not so bad. I stay as asleep as I can. We co-sleep and I just breastfeed him lying tummy-to-tummy in the dark, without much disruption to either his sleep or mine. He goes back to sleep easily every single time at night - often I don't know about it because once he's on the breast I doze back off and wake up to his next waking without having realised he'd finished the last feed! I don't change his nappy at night. If I'm awake enough to sit him up and burp him at night, he stays unconscious sitting up on my lap with his sweet little chin in my hand as I rub his back. I LOVE this! I sit bleary and exhausted in a pitch black room in the wee small hours, wondering what time it is and whether I will feel any better than this before the day begins, and how on EARTH I will make it through the day with the boys, and yet overflow with joy and thankfulness for the moment that I'm living through. I mean, how much more precious does life get?! The intimate moments during the stillness and quietness of the night with my tiny sweet little baby love - they are just priceless and will slip between my fingers WAY too quickly. I cherish the night wakings with my babies. After Arthur, that is! ;) He "conditioned" me to appreciate the night wakings, haha! Anyway, so wonderful. I would do it all again (and again, and again, and again, and again, and - you get the picture!) in a heartbeat.

So, he stays asleep even if I sit him up and burp him. On occasion I have put him down awake and he has taken himself to sleep, but although that's nice and encouraging and all, I know it doesn't mean a lot right now! I am going with the flow, and that's okay, although the flow is a bit tricky at the moment and I'm tired. I wish I could help him (and us!) during the day with his sleep, but we'll hang in there with what we're doing for now. It needs to be sorted out for homeschooling - I'm not sure how to do that with a baby who is doing this!

Talking of which! I finally chose a maths curriculum! Yay! Thanks so much to Michelle and Sara for your comments after my post asking about a maths curriculum. I have heard a lot about Right Start, Singapore Math, and Math-U-See. Also Saxon and Abeka. I have been lurking on forums for a year-ish, and also researching each curriculum like crazy recently - planning homeschool has taken up pretty much all of my evenings for the last two or three weeks, and I still have so much more to fine tune and figure out and plan! I'm LOVING it, seriously. I'm so excited. I love the planning stage! Of course, I don't know a thing about anything beyond the planning stage, as I've never done it before, but anyway - I heartily endorse The Planning Stage! It's great fun! ;)

I went back and forth a million times but eventually settled on Right Start Mathematics. I am buying Level A. I'm annoyed that it's credit card only to purchase, as we've done away with the evils (!) of credit cards after our shamefully huge debt on them. We put the whole lot into a loan with easier payments, and closed down the credit cards. I thought I would not be able to buy that curriculum (it's not cheap either, annoyingly!) but then Neil told me that one credit card did not get closed, because for some reason we have CREDIT on the card, as in, money owed to us. He paid too much into it by mistake and we have almost exactly the amount that it will cost to purchase the Right Start curriculum and get it shipped from the US! Yay! So tomorrow (tomorrow!!!) I am going to purchase that online and get it on it's way to us. I decided to also go for the other curriculum that I was considering, as a supplemental curriculum - it's Math Mammoth. I have read some really good stuff about it. I think it will complement Right Start, and I really like the sample lessons I've seen. Also, if they turn out to be too much to use together, then I will still keep both in case others of my children turn out to do better with one of them than the other. I like that Math Mammoth is REALLY inexpensive. Even more so when you order the curriculum as a download, which I will be doing. It's instantly with you that way as well! :) I am getting the complete Grade 1 curriculum in the light blue books range, for Arthur. So yay, maths curriculum checked off my list! :)

I bought the storage unit that will hold EVERYTHING to do with school, including activities for the littler ones to do during school time, and all arts and crafts materials, and children's DVDs, etc. It's lockable. Ahhh. I feel my neck muscles relaxing at the very thought of that shiny barrel lock on the sliding door. *sigh*

I have a million other smaller details planned, but I am not 100% finished with them and also I want to just wait till it's all put together before showing/telling you guys. I hope it all goes well! I need to spend at least a week or two TRAINING my children to obey me, and also to sit and play quietly for small blocks of time, so that school runs more smoothly. I have started this already, and I tell you, we live in a teeny tiny house with one room that we live in downstairs all day (see last post for photos!) but I am just now realising the GIFT that this is right now. I have to train my children in obedience, and also in respect for me. They are pretty slack on both those things. Being in one room together all the time, I am now discovering, is the absolute perfect setting for such training. I can be on top of them all the time. I don't have to "man" various zones at once and have little people causing havoc in parts of the house I can't be in (although let's not dwell on the fact that Arthur squirted the entire can of Neil's shaving foam/gel into the bathroom sink when he went up to use the toilet the other day, nor the time when he stuck my panty liners all over the outside of the bath a couple of days before that whilst on a similar mission). It makes the task soooo much easier, and I'm actually very grateful to God for blessing us with the home we're in right now for this purpose. This task is HIGH on God's priority list for our children. Higher than school, for sure.

Anyway, I am juuust beginning to see fruit! Woohoo! Something I have not seen much of over the years of trying to get my act together to discipline the kids effectively. Every single time they disobey me, over the teensiest little thing, I am on them about it, and I discipline them. I don't ask them to do something more than once. They are quite defiant, and so there's a lot of ground to cover, but I see a few little bits of fruit. The two older boys are now starting to do something I ask them to do when I ask them to do it, for the most part. They are starting to improve on STOPPING doing something that I ask them not to do as well, though this is a harder thing for them to learn! Matthew has this thing where he pokes and presses on Nathan's feet (he has done this for ages, usually many many many times each day, I can't even count them probably). Nathan has become immune to his pokings and doesn't seem to notice, but I don't like it. It seems somewhat unkind and aggressive in nature, and I have explained it eleventy billion times to Matthew that it doesn't show kindness to his brother when he pokes his feet like that. I always required him to say sorry and told him to stop doing it. Now I have told him he will be disciplined for it every single time he does it. And I have stuck to it for maybe the last 10 days straight, something like that. And he's only doing it a handful of times over a whole day now. He still gets disciplined for each of those times, and I'm hoping he'll stop altogether! I love to see the encouraging results of consistency - it fires me up and motivates me to crack down on the (many!) other areas that need work in those boys!

Today I started working with Matthew and Arthur on training them to play utterly quietly for a short time. I got the idea from Kimberly's blog, "Raising Olives". I have been reading Kimberly's blog since shortly after she started it, and I LOVE it. She has 9 children aged 12 and under, and her family is so precious! She homeschools and her blog is full of great ideas and wise advice, and I am just drinking it all up right now. Anyway, I need the little ones to be able to play quietly (like her littles do) during school, so I'm starting to (try to!) train them now. Arthur too, because it would be helpful for them all to do that if I ask it of them. So today I used the rule that Kimberly stated - "No noise with your mouth" and let them get stuck into playing with their Lincoln Logs. I had to correct them a good few times throughout, but they did GREAT. I kept it short (10 minutes) and we'll work up a bit each time. The only times they made noise with their mouths was to whisper, but they didn't even do much of that. Nathan was napping and Benjamin had gone to sleep in the bouncy chair that I was rocking, and it was suddenly SO PEACEFUL in the house for those 10 minutes. I had hoped to list the things I needed to do today and sort it out in my head while they played, but actually I needed to be right there every moment, checking them and correcting them if they made any noise with their mouths.

Next thing is, keeping them in one spot to play while they are quiet. I am waiting on delivery of a set of Active World Trays right now. They are almost a metre across and we'll use them for endless craft, science and construction/imaginative activities. I bought a book with 50 different ideas for using them, and there are some wonderful activities in there which combine science and art, or even more subjects than just those two. I also plan to use them for our version of "blanket time". We'll have activities in the trays (which are easily big enough for a child to sit in and play) and Nathan and Matthew will each play in an Active World Tray on the living room floor while Arthur has his maths and reading lessons at the table (which we haven't got yet! Next thing to get, after the floor is sorted!). My hope is to train them to sit quietly and play in those zones without leaving the confines of their trays. Then they'll be happily occupied (I have a TON of educational fun activities for each of them which will be for school time ONLY), and quiet, and also NOT interfere with each other's activities (an issue right now with the boys which makes them very frustrated and noisy with each other!), while Arthur has school time. Also I like that they'll be right there with us to have school stuff "washing over" them. I intend to include Matthew in some of Arthur's school things, but not reading or maths yet. It's only a year now before he will be the age of starting school if he was not homeschooled (amazingly!), so he'll be doing everything that Arthur is doing in no time, I'm sure!

Anyway so the quiet time thing went well today. I am hoping to have a couple of sessions each day with the boys. The other bit of fruit that I really like is that the boys now say, "Yes Mummy" with little prompting if I ask them to do something, or ask them if they have understood clearly that they are not to do X, Y or Z (when I am correcting them on something). I started requiring them to answer me, "Yes Mummy", a month or so ago, rather than just "yeah", or some non-verbal sound, or a nod of the head. I also require "Sorry Mummy" instead of just "sorry" when we have talked about why they were disciplined and get to the part where they apologise for something.

I have a lot more I could write tonight, but I've just realised how late it's getting and I hear stirrings from Benjamin. Back soon though! Photos next time, too. I have endless photos, having not posted for such a long time!



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Sunday, 26 July 2009

Starting out with four, and needing God...

I have just discovered Kari Jobe's music lately - such beautiful songs, and what an amazing voice God has blessed her with! I have been listening to lots of worship music on YouTube while I've been resting and breastfeeding these last two weeks, and especially the last week for some reason. I'm involving myself at MOMYS (Mothers of Many Young Siblings) a lot more for the good influence and wisdom there - I'm excited that I have full access there since Benjamin was born, now that his birth makes me an official MOMYS (4 or more children under the age of 8)! I love the fellowship there, and that the ladies there are so Christ-centred. They lean on God for all that they need to do the task to which He has called them. I know I need to do this too. I HAVE to. I can't meet the needs of four little boys aged four and under otherwise! I'm not able. I'm insufficient! I'm human! But His grace is sufficient for me, and His strength is made perfect in my weakness. I've got to remember that I CAN'T do it, nope, no way, no how! ;) With that in mind, I am DRIVEN to God's feet all day long to seek His strength and to allow Him to clothe me in the patience and peace and joy and self-control and allll those things I desperately need to do this next stage of mothering and discipling my Many Small Children (to coin a phrase from MckMama! ;) ).

I've started to read the Bible more, just little bits, because at MOMYS they sometimes post about Bible verses they're reading and people post their thoughts on the verses. This encouraged me to get my Bible out and really meditate on some verses, which I really haven't done for a long time. And then the next day I really wanted to do the same again with a different verse. So I'm really thankful for the good influence! :)

Neil is going back to work tomorrow, after his paternity leave. He took Friday off as holiday time to round out the week, so it's been a longer break with the weekend on top, than the usual paternity leave, and that is lovely! I have been resting the whole time, doing very little around the house or in terms of childcare. It has been such a precious time for me. I'm sad and nervous to see it come to an end! But I would be in a whoooole different anxious place if I didn't have the perspective God is giving me right now - about needing Him to do it. I feel strangely (!) confident about setting out to do the long days with FOUR little children now, much more so than I ever did with 1, 2 or 3 small children when I started out those times. I hope I am not being naiive! But I really do feel confident. I think it's going to be okay. My parents are coming for the week, and staying with my grandparents. They'll come over late morning till Neil gets home every day next week and help occupy the boys. Mummy even said I can go and lie down and get a nap if I need to during the day, but I am not sure if the boys will be manageable for them while I do that - we'll see. I'm so happy to have them coming over to visit and the boys are so excited too! In some ways I am feeling relieved that I will have help next week. I still get tired SO quickly if I do stuff like go for a short walk with the baby in a sling, so I'm nervous about my stamina with these energetic and not-awfully-obedient little boys!

On the other hand, though.... I feel so eager to get "stuck in" and do the wonderful job that God has called me to do! In order to do it, I need to crank up my organisation skills a notch (or two!) - more so with each baby, I'm finding. And I've been browsing the archives at MOMYS and starting to piece together a flexible basic schedule for our household, to help the days run smoother. I'm sure it will need a lot of tweaking before it works for us well, but it's a start! And I need to seriously crank up the discipline with the boys as well. I feel a bit like I can't really get ON IT to the degree that I want/need to until after my parents have left. So, although I feel like I will really need their help, and will so appreciate it and be sad to see them go again, I am also looking forward to being on my own with the boys, to really set up my home and things with my children as I want to and press on consistently without distraction or help. Help is WONDERFUL, but it can impact an intense focus on something like discipline.

Anyway, so it's nearly time for that to begin! I'm so glad my parents are coming, and so excited about the road ahead! I feel sure there will be PERLENTY of days (weeks?!) where I am NOT in this place and feel overwhelmed and far from God, and so on. I'm sure of it. But this confidence beforehand is new for me. I hope it means things will go okay, and REALLY hope feeling this way might indicate a better experience? I am hoping I do not get postnatal depression to any degree this time. I did not last time (I did with the older two, just feeling overwhelmed and unable to cope - which I see is something that raising 4 such little ones might lead me to feel again!) but then Neil was home to help all the time because he was out of work for the first 6 months after Nathan's arrival. I really want to DO it, to the glory of God!! I hope that is how it will be.

Anyway, I still plan to update with photos and all the things I mentioned last time! But the reason I actually opened this blogger box to update today is because I wanted to post a video I found on YouTube. I was listening to Kari Jobe and clicked on another video link after the one I was listening to finished. It turned out to be a church presentation of a Bible story with Kari's song "I know that You are for me" playing. I watched it just out of interest. It made me cry. I just found it so beautiful, and for that reason I wanted to share it here in case it blesses someone else.





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Sunday, 19 July 2009

Benjamin Isaac! (and random photos)

I'm a bit late announcing here, but never mind! I have been updating at my pregnancy blog though! Benjamin Isaac was born at home at 7.30pm on Thursday 9th June 2009. He weighed 8lbs 11oz! He has a head-full of dark brown hair, and murky dark grey eyes (which I think may turn brown, as Arthur's did). He has Nathan's chin and Arthur's eyes, my fingers and toes, and looks ever so much like photos of Neil as a newborn (except for the chin!).



I don't know his length, because they have apparently stopped measuring the length at birth here now :( The Health Visitor is coming tomorrow though, and she will measure his length then. It won't be accurate as a birth length (he'll have grown a bit!) but oh well. We're not sure of the length of my labour because I refused to be checked at any point, but my first contractions started around 1pm and were pretty short and painless at first. So it was probably my quickest labour yet! :) Second stage was 11 minutes (longer than the last two times!).

Benjamin is so precious! I am so in love. It's so surreal to have four children, and four SONS at that! I feel so blessed by God, and so in awe of His loving kindness and generosity. I have a lot of work coming up, raising four boys. With ALL my heart I am longing for God to bless us again, to open my womb and enable me to conceive again, in His perfect timing. Right after Benjamin was born (I mean, RIGHT after, you know, before I got my stitches and all that!) I had my first moment of ambivalence EVER. For the first time I stopped for a second and wondered if our family might just possibly be complete with four little boys. I don't know why. I felt like I could be content with that, and I have never felt that before - I have always felt like I would struggle to come to terms with not having any more children. I also felt no sense of loss or sadness about maybe never having a daughter. So I did wonder if that meant we would not have any more children. I was quite taken by surprise at the way I felt, actually! I questioned myself over whether I would actually LIKE to have any more babies, and I thought I would :) With the birth only minutes behind me, I didn't feel overly excited about doing it all over again though! ;) But it didn't take long for those feelings to change. I feel like I'm back in much more familiar and comfortable territory, enjoying my newborn baby and rejoicing over the birth, and eagerly looking forward to another pregnancy and birth and new baby! It felt a bit strange to NOT be in that place for a short while there, and I'm glad I don't feel that way any more! I have already spent much time praying and thanking God for a new little blessing, and asking that He bless us with more when He knows in His wisdom that it's the right time. I am also spending a lot of time in prayer over how to parent the children He HAS blessed us with already. I want to be a good steward of the blessings God gives to us, and I feel like I'm NOT, so I need to focus more on praying and working on that. Another first is that I asked God to please help us to get a handle on the actual parenting and the home (me in particular), BEFORE blessing us again with another baby. I really want to do right by the children, and mostly by God, but I see absolutely no reason not to have a billion more babies if God sees fit to bless us that way - I know that He will equip us for the task to which He has called us! :)

Thanks to Laura, I recently discovered Voddie Baucham's teaching on the family and have started listening to his sermons online. I LOVE what he teaches!!! Yesterday evening Neil and I listened to his sermon on child training and we are re-motivated and optimistic once again! Today the discipline is way more consistent and calm, and the boys are currently TIDYING THE LIVING ROOM!!! I know!!! They have been disciplined a LOT to get to this point though, but it's actually bearing fruit which is very encouraging. They are not doing it with a bad attitude (incredible!!!) and are busy talking about how they are doing great teamwork :) Such a change...

I googled and found a great list of pretty much ALL of Voddie Baucham's sermons and videos online. It's here in case anyone is interested. I am looking forward to working my way through the whole list while I'm resting with my new little man!

I am now really really behind on photos here! I have sooooo many taken in the last two months, that I haven't posted at ALL - I'm talking hundreds!!! I can't post hundreds, obviously, but I'll try to catch up a bit. I want to have some of these photos down "on record" in my blog, for looking back on. I have finally finished editing photos of Matthew's birthday (now a month ago, already!!) but there are 114 of them!!!!!!!! I took over 300 on the day, but narrowed it down to 114 worth posting, haha! No, I'm NOT going to post 114 photos here, lol! I will have to sift through them and see which FEW will sum the day up best! I'm sure there will be more than 20 though! Will post those soon. For now, here are some taken on random occasions:

First time for all THREE little boys drawing together at the table! Nathan was so excited! He actually loves scribbling with crayons, and being properly involved in ANY activity with his big brothers. He does also like to try eating the crayons too, though!...













They also LOVE using the jumbo chalks on the patio (and all over the garden, fences, flowerpots, stepping stones, shed and house walls (!), etc!). Here are quite a few photos that I took of the boys enjoying chalks in the garden one warm afternoon:

Little boys drawing pictures :)



Discussing the details of a drawing:



What do you think, Mummy?!



"Don't eat the chalk, Nathey!" (see the wet on the tip of the chalk he's holding, and the slightly ewwy expression on his face, hehe!)



A little series of photos to illustrate the way Nathan sometimes wins his brothers over. He came along and wanted the green chalk that Matthew had. See him whining for it in the second photo? Working on that. *sigh* Anyway, see Matthew's body language - "No way am I giving up my green chalk!" and then the next photo, as usual Matthew gives in and generously gives whatever it is to Nathan that he was whining for! Nathan was more than pleased, and cheerfully scribbled with the chalk. It was funny, but we ARE working on this because we don't want Nathan thinking he can whine for what he wants and his brothers will always be so soft on him and give in! Anyway, here are the photos :)







Matthew's drawings tend to have a lot of tiny detail. He is very creative with any arty stuff he does, and Arthur is so different - he's logical in his creations, and Matthew is just, well, creative. He absolutely loves any sort of art and craft activity:



Little Nathey, coming to tell me something (not that he's talking yet, but he tells me ALL SORTS in his own little language, bless him!):



Classic! Hehe! ;)



I have a ton more, but I think that's probably plenty for one post! I will try to update again soon with a bunch more. I have some sweet summery photos taken in the garden on hot days, before Benjamin was born. And Matthew's birthday photos, of course. I'll update again soon! I have a week before Neil goes back to work, so hopefully I'll get chance in that time! I'm RESTING, not looking after the boys or the house in any way, while Neil is home, and it's wonderful - I can't think why I didn't do this the other three times! Daja just wrote about this very thing in her blog yesterday, with a lot of interesting stats and information!

I will be back soon!



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