Blessed again! :)

Because I SO want to keep up a bit better with this blog again, and because I have a good reason for last entry's rantiness (!!), and because it's just too fabulous not to share...

I am thrilled to be expecting my 8th baby, due January 4th 2016. :)

I tell the world early because every single day of a new life growing inside me is worth celebrating, even if it ends sooner than I expect. With this pregnancy, as with most of my others, I am bleeding. I have had two scans, and will have another on Friday of this week coming. Everything looks good so far, and I had a blood test done for the first time (for hormone levels) which also looked normal and healthy. Because of my history I have every reason to be hopeful, but I am always anxious! Trying to rest in God and rejoice in the gift he has given to me. :)

I am blogging, as always, at my pregnancy blog (link on the right there) if you want all the TMI, lol! Negative comments will be deleted because I don't care to take on the stress. :)

Arthur knows about this pregnancy, because by accident, he saw me looking at a photo of a pregnancy test that I'd taken and put on the computer to share at my blog (he was watching through the window while they played in the garden!) - d'oh! ;) He was completely ecstatic and beside himself with joy, and has done a great job keeping it a secret from all his brothers in the 2 weeks since then! He knows he has to keep it for another week, until we have the next scan. We are hoping to see a heartbeat, and after that will tell the children. I know they will be excited - just today Matthew was mournfully wondering aloud whether we would EVER have another baby (*big sigh*)! ;) It has been by far the biggest gap between babies - all of our babies have been conceived between 8 and 11 months after the previous baby was born, and so our age gaps have been in months, not years: 19, 19, 18, 17, 17, 16 (getting shorter each time!). Lydia is already 18 months old, so if the previous pattern had continued, she would already be a big sister by now, and as far as the children know, there's still no baby on the way! This time the age gap will be 26 months - Lydia will be 2 years, 2 months, and 2 weeks old when this baby is due.

I am so excited!!

Here's how I shared with the world this week, and I was overjoyed to do it this way, because after all these little boys, I have never had the chance to say one of my children will be a "big sister" before:




My little girl is SO girly, and adores clothes and shoes, dressing up and showing her daddy and brothers what she's wearing! She has such girly mannerisms and squeals over things like sparkly boots, and the tutu I finally caved and bought her recently! :) I am so enjoying the girliness of having a daughter - it is definitely VERY different from the experience I have had with my six little boys over the years, even though each of them are very unique and different from each other. I would love to add another little girl to our family, but I know that the stats are leaning heavily in favour of another boy! ;) That's okay because I adore little boys too! I'm just so happy and excited to be blessed with another pregnancy, and another baby to love and nurture!

Thank you Lord, so much, for blessing me again.

So I have a new header...

... in case you didn't know! :)

(header by Jennisa at www.pixelmeperfectdesign.com
- formerly Once Upon A Blog - she designed my blog a few years back. Thanks Jennisa! :) )

I don’t think I can stand it, Lord. I don’t know if I can stand it. All of these things, all of these pressures and stresses and worries and fears and the overwhelmingness of life, but with your love as a banner over me. Your love, constantly washing over me, a steady stream, always flowing, always strong, over all of it. I don’t know if I can stand up under your love another moment, and I don’t know what to do with these feelings. I love you too. I just don’t know if I can cope with the purity and strength of yours. I just might break apart. Maybe just ache. But maybe break into a million tiny pieces, and then what will I do?

But, I don’t want you to stop. Please stay loving me in a steady stream.

Four weeks in with six littles

Elijah is 4 weeks old! I need to update my pregnancy blog (where I keep posting about the baby's development and my recovery until about 6 weeks or so postpartum). We have done our first week with Neil back at work, and it did not go too badly! There were the usual ups and downs. I got such reassurance from reading my blog entries after each baby (mainly in my pregnancy blog) at the 3-6 week point, and finding that no matter the type or personality of baby I'd had, there were always the moments where it felt utterly impossible, and I absolutely did not know how I would manage. There were always the moments where I sat in tears saying, "I can't do it, Lord!" and it seems to be normal for me to be always feeling exhausted and moving about at running pace, sweating like crazy! Fitting in my own needs for food, drink, rest and the toilet is always hard, but not as impossible as I used to think it was. Last year's kidney stone might have something to do with me managing to find a way to keep my fluids up this time though! ;) I had forgotten how "normal" all those things are for me, in the first month or few with a new baby, so it was reassuring to read about the previous times.

Tomorrow is Monday, and another week begins with me in the role of mother-of-six-children-aged-7-and-under. I decided to make a plan for the week, because I am CLUELESS about how to go about looking after six small children (honestly, completely clueless). I have prayed about it ("Lord, please give me wisdom and guidance because I have no idea what I'm doing, and I need you!!!") and decided to plan a bit. I am not even sure whether that's a good idea, because deciding I should or shouldn't be achieving X, Y, or Z goals could be the wrong thing to do, and make things more difficult. I don't want to put too much on my plate - maybe the right thing to do is to free-wheel for another few weeks to get through the newborn phase and my own recovery from birth, like we spent last week doing? I don't know.

The thing that made me think to plan a bit for the week, is that we're about to start the last week of June - ALREADY!!! Then there's the first week of July, and THEN the plan was to start school again. That's just "this week and next week", which is suddenly very scary! I know things can change a lot in a couple of weeks with a very little baby, but still - yikes! I don't know how I am going to do homeschooling in just two short weeks when I can barely manage to remain standing with the children dressed for the day (they haven't been that even, some days) by evening time!! So I thought a simple (SIMPLE) plan might be a good idea to start getting myself into gear slowly.

Last week, like I said, we "free-wheeled". That is, my only goal was to keep myself and the children fed and hydrated, maintain nappy changes for FOUR children who are full-time in nappies (urgh) and basically survive. My biggest challenge, which I was nervous about before it all started, was to juggle naps for Samuel and Elijah. Samuel (who just turned 18 months, can you believe it?!?!) still nurses to sleep, and needs a nap mid-to-late morning. He gets up early for the day, usually 5.30am or thereabouts, and is tired out by 10am. This is GOOD, because he sleeps the rest of the morning and wakes up in time for lunch (noon-ish). Then he is good and tired at bedtime because it's been a while since he napped. I do NOT let him nap after lunch. It bodes badly for bedtime and night sleep! So I am glad that he takes naps in the morning and really try to encourage this. The problem is, Elijah is a pretty fussy baby and cries a lot of the time he is awake. He will not settle in the morning at ALL. He gets tired and will go to sleep if rocked/walked/breastfed/bounced in the bouncy chair enough, but usually I need to rotate all of the above until finally one of them gets him to sleep. This eats up ALL my time in the morning. I gave up trying quite so hard by Wednesday, as I had been spending most of the morning up in the bedroom trying to get him sleeping, but he would just wake up soon after going off to sleep so I would have to start all over again. Meanwhile the kids had no Mummy around, and Samuel was not getting his nap until way too late, and was tired and sad. I was stressed about all of those things and it was not a fun way to spend a morning! So, noticing that Elijah wouldn't stay settled and asleep in any case, I decided to just do all the usual things to settle him whilst downstairs with the boys, and not stress over the fact that he just wouldn't sleep or stay asleep all morning. That made things much easier, emotionally, but it still meant that I couldn't spent the 10-15 minutes needed to shut Samuel and myself in the bedoom and breastfeed him and start his nap. On Thursday (I think), Elijah actually went off to sleep for long enough, and at the right time in the morning, to get Samuel down for his nap! Great feeling! He is very unpredictable still, and most of the time there isn't a window. Whenever this occurred with Samuel (as the baby) and I was trying to get Benjamin down for a nap, he wasn't as young as Elijah and also was a VERY contented happy baby. I could just put him in the bouncy chair and ask Arthur to watch him for me and give him toys or bounce him a bit, while I put Benjamin to bed. I don't feel safe doing that with Elijah when he's this young, and also he's NOT happy for more than a minute or so! So this is still hit-and-miss, and will continue to be through the week ahead, but hopefully it will go okay...

Elijah does tend to sleep much better in the afternoon, but every time I think I can see a predictable pattern emerging, I soon learn that not everything is as it seems! ;)
The boys have done pretty well. They have watched waaaaay too much TV. We have found YouTube videos that have kept them really entertained. They have never seen Looney Tunes cartoons, Wacky Races, and things like that, before now. There are so many of those available on YouTube! So they have really enjoyed those, and spent most of their days laughing until their sides hurt! ;) They particularly like the roadrunner/coyote ones, and Tom and Jerry. I sometimes sit and laugh my sides sore right along with them! The three older boys have "quiet time" whenever they want to upstairs in their bedroom, usually only one or two at a time though otherwise it's anything but quiet! ;) They play with Lego, Lincoln Logs, and jigsaws mainly, and can enjoy that for hoooouuurs. The littler ones are happy downstairs anyway, which is good! Other than that, it's a boring old time for them while I adjust to managing, and try to ride out Elijah's "fussy" stage, which I know he'll grow out of, but it's not easy meanwhile. The bonus for the boys is that they now have a LOT of brothers to play with! Benjamin is nearly 3 and totally a part of the "older set" in terms of play, now. He's assertive, confident, and picks things up quickly, so although he's quite young really, he's well in there with them! Four little boys can play together, pair up in various ways, three of them can play together, etc. They are less and less listless and bored, the more siblings they have, as they have a lot of playmates now and really enjoy each other's company which is lovely to see.

Anyway,  must post this before I run out of time or Elijah has a few troubled hours and before I know it, I need to go to bed! I wanted to write out my simple goals for the week, sort of to keep track, but also so that I can look back on how I tried to manage things in the early weeks with a new baby, when I'm next in that position. I just want to have one thing to check off in terms of the boys, another in terms of the house, and a SIMPLE meal plan. Simple as in meals that are easy to make, as easy as possible really, even if they're not the ideal.

Okay now it's time I went to bed (much later in the day!) and Elijah is waking up about 5 minutes after I put him down, fast asleep. He's been up all evening, mostly crying, which isn't unusual for this little manny. Neil is wonderful and gets very involved, walking with him in his arms and all that stuff that I don't have the physical stamina for yet. We go back and forth when Elijah is crying for the whole evening, I breastfeed him and snuggle him on my front (sometimes he goes off this way if I'm patting his back), or else bounce him in the bouncy chair (Neil says he can't seem to do the rhythm that Elijah settles with, like I do). When those things don't work to settle him, Neil paces the living room with him. We often put worship music on. Elijah really likes music and often calms right down when he hears it. Anyway, must just copy and paste my plan for the week and then get ready for bed. Neil is walking with Elijah right now and I need to finish this quick. I am planning to get to bed at 10 or 10.30 this week as much as possible, even earlier if I can. Right now it's 10.40, which isn't ideal. The nights are REALLY broken so I need to get as much sleep as I can.

Week commencing 25th June 2012

Elijah is 4 weeks old. My "goal" with him this week is to try to establish some sort of pattern for his sleep/wake/nap/feeding by the end of the week. NOT a schedule, just a feel for his rhythm, as something to build on for the following week.

Monday 25th

* Appointments - none
* Meal - Vegetable soup, rice, grated cheese.
* Goal with children - Read stories (two different sessions for two different age ranges)
* Household goal - Laundry: 2-3 loads, including sorting and sweeping the kitchen floor afterwards.
* Meal prep needs - Thaw a "meat base" for Shepherd's Pie tomorrow.

Tuesday 26th

* Appointments - none
* Meal - Shepherd's Pie
* Goal with children - loads of jigsaws together. Get out ones they haven't done for ages.
* Household goal - Fold and put away laundry.
* Meal prep needs - Make mashed potato at 3.45pm. Top the Shepherd's Pie and bake 45mins around 4.15ish.

Wednesday 27th

* Appointments - Health Visitor coming here 10.30am.
* Meal - Beans on toast (boys). Salmon in white wine sauce with pasta and veg (us, later).
* Goal with children - Bake cookies or equivalent.
* Household goal - Tidy and sweep living room
* Meal prep needs - Get salmon out to thaw (am).

Thursday 28th

* Appointments - none, but put bins/recycling out for collection first thing.
* Meal - Macaroni cheese
* Goal with children - Do a prepared craft activity with them (prepare this one evening).
* Household goal - Dishwasher catch-up
* Meal prep needs - Start dinner at 4.30pm

Friday 29th

* Appointments - none, but remember to make/finish Tesco order online for delivery tomorrow.
* Meal - Pot roast
* Goal with children - read stories (two sessions for two age ranges)
* Household goal - Clean something in the bathroom (preferably the toilet, ew)
* Meal prep needs - Start the crockpot at breakfast time.

Saturday 30th

* Appointments - Tesco delivery in the morning.
* Meal - Pot roast sandwiches (lunch); Pasta with tomato/pesto sauce and cheese (dinner)
* Goal with children - 1-on-1 time (Mummy); Outing (Daddy)
* Household goal - buy and install a new toilet seat
* Meal prep needs - Make sure crockpot is clean; Put chicken in crockpot overnight.

Sunday 1st July

* Appointments - Cameron's 21st Birthday. Go to cemetary if chance.
* Meal - Chicken pasta bake.
* Goal with children - 1-on-1 time (Mummy); Outing (Daddy)
* Household goal - Plan next week; check bedding, change any/all if necessary.
* Meal prep needs - Use whole chicken from the crockpot to make chicken pasta bake starting at 3.45pm; use the rest to make 2 chicken and vegetable pies for the freezer (takes ages so use every free moment you have).

So that is the plan! I am not necessarily expecting to even get all of those simple goals met every day, but I'm going to try, especially where the children are concerned. I am not sure about the prepared craft thing - I SO want to, and they would so love it, but I am not sure if I will get chance on any evening to prepare such a thing. We'll see. I haven't written on the plan, but I also need to make sure I meet my own needs for 6-8 tall glasses of water per day and my vitamins. I started on Pregnacare breastfeeding/postnatal vitamin supplements at the HV's suggestion and I am remembering them for the most part. Also I am trying to eat well! Breastfeeding 3 littles here, including a very-frequently-feeding newborn! Neeeeeed to eat and drink well.

Okay, that's it. Elijah is awake and crying and I need to get ready for bed and take him with me so that Neil can go to bed. I hope he won't be up for a long time into the night, but we'll just have to see.

Elijah has arrived!

I'm a bit late on updating this blog! I've been writing at my pregnancy blog frequently for a few weeks though, before and after Elijah was born, so you can catch up there in more detail if you don't follow that blog.

Elijah Douglas was born on Sunday 27th May at 2.20pm. He is my littlest (term) baby yet, having been "small for dates" in the last couple of months before he was born. He weighed in at 6lbs 8oz which isn't too bad at all! Such a sweet little bundle!

This photo was taken when he was 8 days old at a photo shoot my friend Paul from church kindly did for us, for free! He has never done newborn photography before, and I love how his photos turned out! To see the rest of them, I posted them here at my pregnancy blog yesterday.

Elijah was born at home, although we were back and forth on that because my waters broke 2 days before. In the end, there were no complications (other than a true knot in his cord, but he was FINE), labour was 3 hours-ish and all went well. I haven't written a complete birth story yet, but I wrote quite a bit of it here if you are interested. I will hopefully get round to writing a proper one when my doula gives me her notes so I can compile them with my memories of the experience! :)

Elijah is just over 2 weeks old now. He is doing great, feeding and growing well. He hasn't been weighed over the last 5 days, but the last time he was, he weighed 7lbs 2oz. He is going to be weighed again by the Health Visitor the day after tomorrow, so we'll see how much he weighs then! He feeds a lot, and has no particular pattern. Just lots! ;) He sleeps pretty well between feeds at night, and we are co-sleeping - this is the first time we have no baby bed set up anywhere in the house for a new baby! No crib, cot, Moses basket, nothing. He sleeps with me, since it went so wonderfully exclusively co-sleeping with Samuel for 16 months. I guess that is the plan, to do the same thing this time with Elijah, if it goes just as well. I love it! :)

The boys love him! Oh they love him! Arthur has been so excited, and Matthew too. The little ones ask to see him all the time - I have mainly been resting up for the first 2 weeks postpartum, like we have been doing since the 4th baby (Benjamin) was born. It makes a big difference to my recovery. Usually Neil goes back to work after 2 weeks, but Elijah's birth was timed very appropriately with the Queen's Jubilee weekend right afterwards, and that meant two bank holiday days within Neil's paternity leave (thus two extra days!). Matthew's 6th birthday is this Thursday (how on earth is my second son six already?!!!) so Neil had already booked that day off work as a holiday. His company have kindly cleared his calendar for the whole of this week since there was only really Friday left at work, and I have the luxury of my sweet hard-working hubby at home for THREE whole weeks after Elijah was born! He has been wonderful, so wonderful. He has done everything with/for the boys, including bedtime with all 5 for the first 2 or 3 nights without me, as I was either sleeping or breastfeeding. Since then I have breastfed Samuel (and sometimes Benjamin) at bedtime as usual, either with Elijah asleep in the other bedroom, or with Neil holding Elijah and having some bonding time, if he's awake. But Neil has done all the meals, nappy changes (except Elijah's of course!), outings, laundry, dishes, night wakings for the boys (Elijah's are obviously my responsibility!), everything. He has also brought me almost all of my meals in bed for nearly two straight weeks. He brings me water to drink, painkillers when I've needed them, and made sure I have everything I need. He has helped me when Elijah has had a couple of really fussy evenings and was FULL of milk but would not settle, by walking the house with him snuggled against his chest. My legs are jelly if I try to do that, which is normal for me so soon after having a baby.

He is such a WONDERFUL husband and daddy! I know he has been tired out with the boys' antics and not enough sleep at night sometimes. They haven't always been easy to manage! He is getting a better understanding for some of the things I deal with in the long hours that he's at work in the weekdays - those occasional times when I phone him saying I don't know what to DO with these kiddies, and I can't do it!! He totally GETS that now. ;)

Samuel is doing well with Elijah's arrival. He loves his new baby brother and is very interested in him. He likes to stroke him or pat him gently on his tummy. He is having a LOT of screaming tantrums, including rolling about the floor and banging his head purposely on whatever he finally rolls into (wall, table leg, etc.). I think some of that is probably to do with a new baby arriving, but he was doing it to a lesser extent before Elijah arrived, so I think it's partly the age/stage he's coming to. He definitely seems happier when I am downstairs snuggling him on the sofa or letting him breastfeed, and I am beginning to do that more and more now that I'm getting back to normal activities. I know he will settle more as I am back to normal more. But he's otherwise happy and settled, and enjoying his baby brother. He's still such a baby himself, at just 17 months!!! He looks ENORMOUS to me now, as the next baby up always does when a new one comes, but he's still my baby Samuel-beep! :)

Benjamin seems to be having no issues with Elijah, which is encouraging - usually it's the nearly-or-just-turned 3-year-old who has the most trouble adjusting, for our kiddies. Nathan didn't seem particularly troubled when Samuel was born (he was a few weeks from turning 3) so maybe it makes a difference that there are more older siblings who are thrilled and excited about the new baby? I don't know. Anyway, Benjamin is the youngest so far to have 2 little siblings, at 2 years and 10 months old. He will be 3 next month! Can't beliiieeeeve it! But he's doing great, and very keen on "The Lijah", as he pronounces Elijah's name! :) Nathan loves to see and stroke Elijah, and comments fondly on his every little twitch or squeak. He's just as happy to run off and play the moment he's distracted from Elijah though - he seems very settled in himself which is good to see! We will see how we all deal with the changes when Daddy goes back to work next Monday! :S I hope things will go smoothly. We are not planning to do any school work at all until July, so it will just be basically me adjusting gradually to the normal activity/workload of a 12-hour day without Neil around, and learning to juggle six little boys, and settling Elijah into some sort of routine of naps and feeds, etc. I'm actually feeling confident and looking forward to the challenge, which is good! :) I'm sure there will be bumps along the way, and days where I have no idea what I'm doing or how on earth I will cope! That seems to be normal after each baby.

I am doing fine, recovering quicker this time than after any of the others. Maybe it was the full night of sleep I had before the birth, the breakfast I ate hours before labour started, or the short labour itself that didn't drain me as much as longer ones would? Maybe it was the lack of stitches (for the first time, yay!!!) and pain therefore? I don't know. I have felt stronger much much sooner this time, and have been up and about sooner too. I did have a blocked duct in my breast last week, and ended up with a low fever and feeling really achy and fluey for a day or two. With Heather's help and advice, I managed to overcome that with massage, hot and cold compresses and LOTS of breastfeeding, and the lump has gone and I feel fine - phew! I have had a lot of headaches, but I seem to have allergies to something or other, especially when it's a windy day and I have the window open all the time. I sneeze a lot and get awful sinus pain in my face that nothing will fix, urgh. I have had a fine itchy rash on my face as well, which is weird, but it's mild and it comes and goes. No idea what I'm allergic to, as I never used to have allergies and have never had testing. Anyway, headaches, blah. But at least they are not there all the time.

I am so delighted with my tiny manny! He's just such a sweet little baby, and I love him so much! I'm so relieved that he's here safely, after a few worrying moments along the way when I was pregnant, and when my waters broke but labour didn't start. SO relieved and happy! :) He is waking up for a feed now, so I will stop. Here are a few photos of Elijah, taken 2 hours after he was born, when all his big brothers came in to meet him - look at Arthur's expression in the first one! That sums his whole experience up. He is SO thrilled! :) Elijah was 4 hours old in the last photo.

Here he is at 6 days old, sleeping where he always does, on my bed with me! :)

Off to feed my tiny sweetie! :)

Fitting FIVE boys into a 12x9ft bedroom!

We have finally moved Samuel into the boys' room, just last night. We were meant to do that earlier, but things kept putting it off! We really can't wait any longer, so I'm relieved that it's done! I have just 10 days to go until my due date! :)

So last entry I wrote belatedly about when we changed the room around to fit four little boys into a 12x9ft bedroom, and now it's time for the promised post with the photos of the new layout for 5 little boys, in their small bedroom. It's the bigger of our two bedrooms, so the only choice really! I am so pleased with how well they fit in, and how much play/storage space they have left with how small the room is, AND how much they all love it in there together! :)

First off, here are pictures of the room after the change-around, ready for the big day!

The bunks in the L-shape give soooo much more space to the room, and I'm really pleased with how it turned out! On the other wall you can see their double chest of drawers for their clothing, which I mentioned last entry. I did figure out storage for Samuel's clothing in the end. Those drawers used to hold the older 4 boys' clothes - one drawer per child - and the two drawers across the top were for their pyjamas. I discovered that Arthur and Matthew's pyjamas actually fit into their own drawers, so that made a top drawer available! :) Nathan and Benjamin have a lot more pyjamas than the older two, because of a million hand-me-downs mostly, so they needed the other top drawer to store their pyjamas in still.

So I changed the drawers around. They came with animal and fish drawer handles which were randomly placed, but I decided to pair them up to help the boys remember which drawers are which. In the photo above, I hadn't got round to doing that yet, so they're still randomly placed, but there's a photo I'll post in a minute of Samuel at the drawers where you can see what I'm talking about. I put the animals/fish in alphabetical order because I have a tendency to be a bit like that! ;)

So Arthur has the top drawer with the fish handles, then the other top drawer with mis-matched handles is the remaining pyjama drawer. Below Arthur's is Matthew's drawer with hippo handles, and next to it is Nathan's drawer with ladybirds. Then at the bottom, below Matthew's drawer is Benjamin's, with lion handles, and then Samuel's has starfish next to Benjamin's. I am pretty sure that if we ever store all SIX boys' clothing in these drawers, it will be totally feasible, and I will find another place to store pyjamas. I love the thought that we have this big chest of drawers with six drawers in it, and I might one day have a different child (of my own!)'s clothes in each one of those drawers! Precious! :)

On top of the chest of drawers, we put the Ikea storage unit that we bought at eBay recently. I am so excited about that piece of furniture, because they get bid on a LOT and are not that cheap. This one is in excellent condition and the previous owners happen to have chosen the exact colours for the storage boxes that we would choose to complement the boys' bedding set! Perfect. They had bought two units and bolted them together, one on top of the other, and although we had the option to undo their system and have them side-by-side, we actually wanted something just like this, so we kept it as they had. Even easier for us after purchasing it! We didn't have to build a thing, just brought it right in from the car and voila! It uses no extra space on top of an existing piece of furniture, which is definitely a big bonus.

Those drawers are so useful for storing quite a lot more stuff that we thought they would! The top unit has mostly clothing in - out of season clothes like bulky jumpers and gloves and hats, and also a big box for summer clothing. Some of the boys have summer clothes at the back of their own drawers, but the extras that won't fit, or things like beach-wear, are in the Ikea box. There are almost-ready-to-be-grown-into clothes for Nathan in one of the top green boxes, and another of those has alllll the underwear aged 3-5 for when he finally potty trains. He's 4 years and 4 months old and not potty trained yet. We have tried, and he is NOT ready, just like Matthew was not ready at this age. He will be though, and I'm happy not to push him for now. He is on new medication to help him with chronic constipation that has caused him a lot of trouble over the past couple of years, and it's FINALLY working well, so after that is settled down for a while, I think we'll have a better shot at potty training him later in the year.

Anyway! Getting off track! So those are the top drawers. One of the big boxes is empty, so there are still further storage possibilities! :)

The lower unit is at a more accessible level for the boys, and we have chosen to store some of their things in these boxes. These are things that they can play with when they come upstairs for Quiet Time - which is reserved only for the older 3 (ages 4 and up). The toys are ones that are suitable for that age-range and which we don't allow downstairs because of small parts for the little ones, so it makes it special for them to play with those upstairs and keeps the little ones safe at the same time. They play with these toys unsupervised, and do great. Here's a photo of the contents of their drawers in the bottom Ikea unit:

The green drawers contain Lego from various kits, a wooden farm set, and various build-it kits like Meccano. The bigger red drawers contain Lincoln Logs (two kits that I had shipped over from the States a few years ago - I love Lincoln Logs!), and then two drawers full of various jigsaw puzzles. Some are 45 pieces (Nathan works on this kind of size) and others are up to 200 pieces (Arthur's range). I think there's also a Logic Links game in there for Arthur, but in general, all the games are stored in the big cupboard that they're not allowed to go in. These drawers hold the things they're allowed to play with for Quiet Time, but they may take something else upstairs that they choose, or ask for something that's put away, like a specific game or more challenging puzzle (there are lots more puzzles in my room under my bed), if they like. They LOVE Quiet Time! :)

Here are some photos taken at bedtime last night, when they were all allowed upstairs to enjoy Samuel exploring the room! He couldn't keep still, and was so excited! He has been in there before at bedtime, but not for long before being whisked away (crying!) to be put to bed in my room. He loves being with his big brothers! Bedtime was 7pm but we knew it would be a good while before they were even ready to get into bed. We let them roam about, and Arthur asked if he could read them a bedtime story while Neil fixed the new safety gate to the bedroom doorway. I sat and watched them, and took photos, while Arthur read the story.

Matthew on his bed, wanting me to take his picture :) It looks as though the drawers are leaning out dangerously, but I promise they are straight against the wall! The camera did it! ;)

Arthur on his bed, asking, "Shall I read them Paddington?" He reads with a torch after the others are asleep, so he always has a book or two on his bed that he's in the middle of. I suggested he choose something else other than Paddington, because it's a bit grown-up for the littler ones and doesn't keep their attention for long!

He chose "The Cat in the Hat Comes Back" in the end, and they really enjoy the Dr. Seuss books so they were thrilled! Nathey and Benji are so sweet in these photos, especially the smiley one! Ahhhh, love them soooo! :) Samuel usually sits to hear a story but was too busy wanting to explore the room this time!

Here are the boys in their beds, ready for the curtains to be closed! You can't see too clearly, but Nathan is in the far corner (that has been his bed for a long while now) with Samuel on his new big boy bed, crawling towards him - he could NOT stay still, lol! Benjamin's new bed is at the other end of Nathan's. They are little enough to top-and-tail, and very excited about sharing. Benjamin used to sleep in Samuel's bed on the floor, and he was the only one I had concerns about, whether he would miss his usual bed and feel funny about Samuel being there "in his place". But he was fine! He and Nathan slept really well there, and Benjamin seemed happy about being "moved up" and for Samuel to be in the bed he used to sleep in, so that's a relief!

I don't know what the time was when we closed the curtains and started trying to get them to sleep. It took a while! ;) But that was to be expected, and will probably be similar for maybe the first week. After that I am really hoping things will settle down and they will be used to bedtime. It might be that we have to stagger their bedtimes for a while if it doesn't. I recall doing that around the time that Samuel was born and for his first few months. Bedtime was crazy chaos otherwise, and the little two were so tired and ready for sleep, but the big two would keep them awake. So we took the little two to bed and once they were asleep, the big boys would go to bed. If Matthew was tired, he would go up with the little ones, on the understanding that he made NO noise in his bed while we did their bedtime stuff (back-rubs, breastfeed for Benjamin, etc.). Arthur is the only child in the family who really isn't a natural at sleep. He is restless in bed, his head whirls with thoughts all the time, and he isn't tired until quite late. I think he will be a natural night-owl type, like me, as he gets older. Matthew and Nathan in particular are the opposite, and always have been. They're always tired by bedtime, and go to sleep quickly and easily. Nathan will go to sleep within minutes, no matter how early he's put to bed! 6.30pm will do nicely for him if we are organised enough! He has always been a boy who needs his sleep, and took 2 naps a day still at 2 years old, when Arthur was giving up naps altogether!

Here are the "after" photos, taken with a flash once all the boys were asleep. I think I took these photos around 8.45pm. Nathan was asleep LONG before that, maybe an hour even, and Matthew not long after. I am not sure when Arthur dropped off. Benjamin didn't go to sleep while he was breastfeeding, so he took a while longer than usual, and Samuel was probably the last to go to sleep. He was too distracted to breastfeed for long with me in his bed, and wanted to crawl about and get out of his bed, etc. Neil walked him, which is what he usually does during the evenings if he wakes, and it works quickly. But he was distracted with me in the room, so in the end I went downstairs and he settled off to sleep on Neil, and then Neil put him on his new big boy bed!

My sweet little sleeping top-and-tail boys!

Tiny Samuel zonked out on his bed (never mind facing the wrong way! I moved him after the photos) with Nathey in the background.

The night went pretty well. They didn't wake during the evening, and Samuel stirred awake and fussed a little bit around midnight, so that was pretty good for the first evening. I kept my door open so I could hear anyone's wakings and come through to help if necessary. Usually I have the door shut AND a fan on in my room, so as to keep Samuel (who has been in my bed with me since he was born in it!) undisturbed by any wakings of the boys in the other room. It has meant I haven't been disturbed by sounds from the other bedroom as well, until last night. I don't like to shut them out though - I want to hear if they're okay in there! Neil is with them overnight, so I know they're okay, but I worry about my little ones when they first move away from Mummy's side, in case they miss me or get particularly upset. I will always go through and breastfeed anyone who is really distressed at night, and I wanted to be sure I could hear Samuel. It was a warm night in their room so the fan went through to them in any case, so I didn't have it in with me.

Samuel woke and cried 4 or 5 times in total, and I woke each and every time. I nearly went through once because he had only just gone back to sleep from the last waking, and I was wondering if he was feeling sad. But he was settling quickly with Neil giving him a cuddle or a drink, so in the end it was okay and I didn't need to go through. Neil wanted me NOT to come in if at all possible, because he wanted to start as he meant to go on, if you know what I mean. He thought it would just prolong the wakefulness if I went in - something we've found at times with our previous little ones. I found it a bit difficult and heart-wrenching though! :( And OH how I missed my baby next to me at night! It is supposed to be a lovely free feeling to walk into one's own bedroom and potter about at a late hour, and then get into one's own bed and stretch about and not worry about disturbing anyone, not have little feet in my face an hour after I got to sleep, and not be woken to breastfeed or say, "It's too early darling, lie down!" for the fifteenth time, but I felt no such relief. I was looking out of the window just enjoying the night air and thinking, and I just realised that I don't NEED or even desire that kind of respite at all. I know some will say that I've only got like 10 days or something until that small window of a break is over and I have another little person in my bed to nurse and change and settle all night for the forseeable future (another 16-or-so months?). I see the rationality of that. But I don't feel it. I don't need it. I don't even want it. There are some exasperating nights when somebody small is really fretful or seems to wake every 30 minutes all night long when I'm tiiiiiired out and wanting a break from it all. Early wakings every single day, or those times when a little one is about to do something new and wakes for a block of 2-3 hours for several nights running to process his thoughts on the matter - those are frustrating and tiring times! But even thinking about those times, I really really REALLY don't desire a break, even now I've got one. I was so sad going to bed without Samuel there, knowing it was a real milestone moment, because that's IT. No going back. 16 and a half months of sleeping next to him since he arrived, has ended, and there won't be even one more night of it now that it's finished. It's permanent, and that season with him has suddenly passed. I know there are more seasons, each so precious, to come for him, and I'm glad and excited about that, but I do somewhat mourn the loss of the last one - that particular season from birth to "I'm about to be a big brother!!" is soooooo precious, and I cherish it so dearly. It isn't affected at all by the fact that I'm about to be blessed (and I do mean BLESSED) to experience the whole thing again with another sweet baby boy. It's THIS boy I'm moving on with, and THIS boy's company that I will miss! He was such a sweet little bed-fellow - my easiest of all the boys so far. *sigh* I do love that baby beep!

I had trouble with restless legs last night as usual, but it was a bit easier to get to sleep knowing I could fling myself about the bed as much as needed without waking Samuel up. I could also change ends if it helped, or open my window, etc. At one point in the night Benjamin and Samuel woke up at the same time - I think Samuel cried and that woke Benjamin, and he was a bit upset about it. I was worried about that before the big move! But Neil told me that Samuel was fine sitting on his bed for a moment while he tucked Benjamin back in, and then went back to Samuel to give him a cuddle, and both boys went back to sleep, so that's MUCH better than we'd anticipated. I hope it continues that way, and that if Samuel wakes, the boys will quickly get used to his sounds and sleep through them, like they have when Nathan moved in, and then Benjamin. I got up when they all did this morning, about 5.30 or so, and when they were all settled downstairs I went back to bed. I'm so glad for the weekend because I have become very sleep deprived with insomnia and other pregnancy-related fun, so the weekend thankfully offers me a chance to catch up a bit, and Neil is wonderful and lets me take advantage of that.

Samuel still napped in my bed with me today. I am not sure what to do about his naps, and I'm not sure about the safety gate on the bedroom door either.... We need it there when he's in the room, to keep him from coming out near the stairs, but it's IN the doorway (it's pressure fitted, so it can be removed whenever) so the door can't be closed. But when some of the boys are up early in the morning and others remain sleeping (read: Arthur!), we HAVE to close the door so they are not woken by the boys' sounds downstairs, and now that means taking the gate off, which is a bit of a faff. Also if Samuel naps in there during the day, he will need the door closed as well, otherwise he'll never sleep through the sounds downstairs, and that means he won't have the safety gate on. The bedroom door is easily pushed open, so even when it's closed, it's not safe for him without a safety gate. Hmmm.... Right now he can continue to nap in my bed, but when Elijah arrives that's it for naps in my room, so we need to think of a solution.

Anyway, hooray, the long-awaited transition has been done, and the boys are all doing fine. Mummy is a bit sad and wistful! But she always is at times like these! ;) At least I did not cry about it, like I have done with some of my others when they moved out of my room/bed. I am MUCH closer to giving birth than I ever have been before when we've done this, so maybe it gives me a focus and that helps. Talking of which, while the boys are at the park with Neil, I now need to go and see what I can check off on my "To Do Before Baby" list! There is still plenty to do. I have flapjacks baking in the oven, and pizza dough rising. They have no idea I've done those things and will be THRILLED when they get home all tired and hungry. My boys LOVE my homemade pizza (it's Nathan's favourite food!) and flapjacks! :)

Waiting for baby...

I know it's been ages since I updated here! NOT intentional, as always, but... you know how it is. I have so much to write about, and so many photos to post. Right now I just wanted to update to say that I am waiting for Samuel to arrive. He was due yesterday, and I have no signs of labour yet. I really hope he will come soon because I am so exhausted and uncomfortable now! I LOVE being pregnant and will miss it as soon as I'm not anymore, but I am eager to meet my new sweetie pie, and to have the labour and birth over and done with - the anticipation is making me quite anxious!

Neil has a new job about a 40 minute drive away, further into London. He started in November - the day before Arthur's 6th birthday (which I MUST write about!!!), and it is going really well. I have adjusted to being the sole parent at home looking after the boys for 12 hours a day (he's out from about 7.30am to 7pm), though the first week was really really hard! We are not currently doing formal school, and plan to start the new academic year with the calendar year - which we might continue permanently, I'm not sure yet - although I am not planning to get back into school during January. I'm giving myself 6 weeks before taking that on (have no idea how to manage it yet!) but if all is going smoothly before then, we'll probably start a bit earlier. Meanwhile they're learning a TON, it seems, just by following their own leads, and by the fact that we have a crazy amount of books full of information lying around! I wish I had time to tell you some things about Arthur - he is changing so much and learning like I can't believe, even though we haven't done school since late summer. We have done a relaxed autumn theme through the autumn, not every day, just here and there. We've learned about migration and hibernation, and seasonal changes and so on. They learned about the northern and southern hemispheres and why the seasons there are different. We did autumn crafts and baking, and read books about autumn, animals that we associate with autumn, and just lots of stories related to autumn. I have kept up a daily read-aloud session when Benjamin goes down for his nap late morning, usually for 1-2 hours straight. At first it REALLY taxed my voice and made me feel very tired! But I am used to it now. That's the time I read them classics and things that are generally a bit older than their age level. We've read various different things, most recently Heidi, and then the first two Paddington Bear books. I have more Paddington books coming for Christmas (they LOVE it!), and then other books lined up like finishing the Little House on the Prarie series, Wind in the Willows, The Swiss Family Robinson, Robinson Crusoe, etc. Arthur was SO taken with Heidi, and seemed to keep up fine despite the language being more complicated than he knew to understand a lot.

So that is what we've been doing. I want to assess Arthur's reading soon. We were doing Rocket Phonics in the summer but we haven't done any reading lessons since. He seems to have taught himself to read a LOT since then though, and I now have no idea how much he's actually able to read. I guess I'll find out once we get back to school in February! :)

I will update again soon with news of Samuel's arrival, but if you're looking for potentially TMI regular updates with progress and news as it happens (!!), my pregnancy blog is the place to find it in the meantime! :)

Starting homeschooling on MONDAY!!!!! :D

So tired this week!

It's Friday evening and this week has been our "practise school" week! I just wanted to get a feel for how manageable it will be to homeschool - I mean, it WILL be manageable, and we WILL be doing it, but I wanted to get an idea of the potential tricky bits and tweak the plan a bit in advance of actually starting school officially. Also I thought it would be good to give the boys a little taster so that they're not in for a big adjustment or anything when we start on Monday.

ON MONDAY!! I have just realised how significant Monday will be. It will just be an ordinary day here, and we've been doing practise school at the time I will be doing real school, every day this week anyway. But on Monday I officially start educating my children at home. Arthur starts the official alternative to going out to school, which he would have been doing for 3 weeks by now, if that had been our choice for him. My niece, Ella, was born the year after Arthur, but is in the same school year (she's June and he's the previous November, so they're in the same academic year), and has started school this month for the first time. It felt odd seeing photos of her standing at the door all sweet and proud in her new, slightly-too-big school uniform, all ready for school, when Arthur "should" be doing the same but he's not. I didn't feel bad or wrong in any way, just to clarify! But it's a strange feeling that we've chosen something so different from the norm. To be actually carrying it out, that is. It's also wonderfully freeing!!! How I LOVE not having to purchase school uniform! How blissful it is not to worry about getting everyone ready in the morning and hauling all of us out in rush hour to get Arthur to school. I am almost gleeful (hehe!) to never be dealing with The School Run! I always felt I would perform dismally at that one. Thank the Lord I never have to do it! ;)

Best of all, how thrilling and joyful it is to not have to be apart from Arthur as he starts school. When I first reminded Arthur that he would soon be starting school, about a month or so ago, he initially thought I meant he would be GOING to school, and he looked anxious about that, like he did not like the idea. He was relieved when I quickly reassured him that I wasn't sending any of my boys to school, but that they would all be learning at home with Mummy :) He doesn't have any clinginess or anxiety issues - never has actually. He has always been my one baby who has never been clingy or had seperation anxiety, or cried when around new people, etc. He is very independent and strikes up conversations with basically anyone who comes within about 20 metres of us, anywhere we go, hehe! He strides off confidently to chat to groups of children or adults at church or at the park. Sometimes at the park he asks why we can't go over to a group of people having a picnic and talk to them. He seems quite taken aback when we stop him - we don't always stop him, but sometimes we don't have time to stop, or we see that the group is kind of busy and doesn't look like they would appreciate an endless one-sided conversation with a 4-year-old at that moment! ;) But, even so he is very happy to be staying home to learn. He says he would miss Matthew too much. And little Nathey. They are such great buddies, and Matthew is his best friend. I am glad that they'll be together and not separated in school hours during the week. And that I get the privilege of watching them learn, and knowing all that they do - I wasn't crazy about the idea of a whole big chunk of the day passing without me having a clue what was going on with Arthur - what his conversations were like, what things worried him and what things made him smile, how he tackled his work and his play, etc. I'm so thankful, in so many different ways, to be homeschooling! :)

So - Monday is a big day. It's going to be low-key and normal for us, but the fact is that on Monday I will begin something that will be a major role for my life, every day (pretty much) for the next TWO DECADES! Or more, if we have more children than this. I think that makes simple old "Monday the twenty-eighth" a pretty momentous day! It begins. A new chapter, almost, and a long one at that. One that I'm so very excited about! I am way less doubtful about it than I was a year or so ago. I feel able to do it, and excited about the future. I don't forsee putting any of the children in school (out of home) at any point during their schooling, although I'm open-minded as circumstances dictate. Moreover, GOD dictates in our home. So I will remain open-minded to God, and God alone. With that in mind I feel pretty optimistic that we'll homeschool forever, and set out to do so! :)

Nearly everything is ready for next week. Right Start mathematics turned up on Monday, and I have flicked through it and fiddled with all the hands-on manipulatives (wheeee!), and this weekend I am going to read it thoroughly and get prepared. I'm having a problem with Math Mammoth in that it downloaded great, but the computer can't seem to read it. I think it's an ancient reader that's the problem. And if the computer can't open it up in printable form, then I can't print it out. And so we can't use it! I have it on my laptop too, which CAN read it (much more up-to-date software) but I don't have the printer installed on the laptop and who KNOWS where we've put the software for installing the printer! So frustrating!

For practise school this week, I have used the time to do one "lesson" per day with the boys. A lesson could even be colouring or something, just to get the idea of sitting at the table and observing the rules of school-time. Also the discipline and training aspect of little boys in their Active World Trays on the carpet with their toddler manipulatives and educational "for school only" toys. On two days this week I did TWO lessons with Arthur, to give them an opportunity to see that we'll be doing one thing, and then switching to something else straight from the first thing, all as part of the same school session. We'll be doing three different subjects within each school session from next week, and my plan actually calls for four, but I am not sure how to fit that in yet, and don't have the fourth subject fully planned yet. It's alternating - Art (drawing instruction) on Mon, Wed, Fri, and then Nature Study instead on Tuesday and Thursday. But I haven't got either of those two sorted in my head yet. I have been prioritising the three Rs and Bible study really.

So this week I let Arthur use the first book of the Jolly Phonics workbooks, which he has enjoyed. He knows the sounds already but it's nice letter formation practise, and he likes colouring in the pictures. Matthew has worksheets from an early (pre-school) maths book (How to Sparkle at Counting to Ten, I think it's called) which I bought a long time ago. He draws a line from the birds to the worms, and draws in missing tails on mice, and so on. And colours the whole lot in afterwards. After his first practise school session in his tray, he said he liked what he played with in there, but he was a big boy too! And he wanted BOOKS like Arthur, hehe! So, I will have something for him to do alongside us at the table that doesn't involve much input from me (like the worksheets, which is why I started doing that with him the next day) while I work with Arthur. And he will always be involved in Bible Study and character building. And Nature Study probably, to some degree. But for other subjects I think I will have him in his tray like before. So, this week I worked on doing two "subjects" so that he would have one at the table and the other in his tray. He did fine with that. Today he did everything at the table, even while I did Arthur's reading lesson.

I figured Arthur may as well start his reading lessons back up this week as part of "practise school". He had done 31 out of 100 lessons, but we had a HUGE break over the end of my pregnancy and since Benjamin was born. When I looked in his writing book (an exercise book that he does his letter writing in at the end of each reading lesson), the date of the last lesson was back in May!! That's ages ago, so I backtracked to lesson 30 to see if he handled that okay or if he needed to go back further. He breezed through it, so we did lesson 31 again the next day, and now he has done lessons 32 and 33 to finish the week with no problems. He is doing great with his reading and I have trouble slowing him down to sound out the words slowly before reading them the fast way, as he just reads them the fast way on the first go in general. So anyway, that will be nice and easy for next week - we'll just continue with the reading lessons that we've been doing already this week. New for Arthur next week will be the Bible Study that will start our school day every day, and also Maths. How that boy LONGS for Maths, haha! ;) I think it's what he's looking forward to the most, and I think he's the "type" to just love that subject, whether at home or out at school. I adored Maths too (till about age 14 when I had a horrible teacher, lost all confidence (and ability, seemingly!) and have disliked it ever since), and I see the same things in his eyes. He hasn't started it yet so part of it might just be anticipation over something new, but he's quite logical and mathsy in general and always has been, so I think Maths will be one subject that he's quite natural at and really enjoys. I'm so eager to start with him!!! :)

The school area is almost finished. I love it sooooo much! I will post photos of the first day of school here next week and you'll see it then. The display area is almost set up the way I want it, and we have the furniture set up of course. I want to get a simple waterproof table cloth for arts and crafts though (it's a NICE table!), and also a rug for underneath because there's a piece of carpet missing against the wall and so it's just rough concrete under their little feet! But rugs are expensive so I still haven't found the combination of design/colour/size and PRICE that I'm happy with yet. Must get that done soon! The stuff on top of the school cupboard is taking up way more space than I thought it would. All our usual living room/computer-related stuff is there - TV, DVD and video players, computer and related bits like scanner and printer. Also the phone and the CD player! It all sits piled on the top, and the TV is therefore right over by the edge that's against the school table, where I don't want it to be! Neil and I are considering getting some strong shelving to put the stuff on above the TV, which will then be able to go at the other end of the unit, near the window and away from the school area. I think that will take a while to figure out and fix up, so we'll be schooling for a while with the annoying clutter of machines all over the cabinet next to us! :( But oh well.

This week we didn't do school on Monday because Arthur and Matthew played washing each other's hair in an entire bottle of suncream, while I was upstairs settling Nathan and Benjamin for naps! Urrrrgghhhh. I try to start them napping right before starting school with the boys (around 9am or so) - Nathan usually still wants to nap just after 9am, but he has been resisting it a fair bit this week. And when I got down ready to start school, I had a MESS to clean up that took all morning. Alllll morning. Including 4 hairwashes each for the boys as they hung their heads over Benjamin's Tummy Tub (bucket-style) baby bath and I just shampooed and rinsed and shampooed and rinsed, and so on and on, because the stuff would NOT come out! Even after I gave up and just towelled them off, their hair dried looking like we hadn't washed our children's hair in many months! It was so stringy and greasy looking! A good bath/hairwash later on made a big difference, but it could still do with washing out some more even today! So, no school on the very first day that I set out to trial it to see how it worked, haha! I was a bit nervous and discouraged at the time, I can tell you. I just wondered how on earth I would ever teach consistently with all the antics that go on here on a regular basis! :S But school went fine the next three days. Today both Nathan and Benjamin cried and clung and wouldn't nap all morning, so I was still tending to them at 10.30am when I started at 9am! So we ended up not doing school this morning. Once Nathan went for his nap in the afternoon, we did school then. Benjamin slept part of that time and then spent the second half of school on the floor on his playmat/activity gym thingy, which he's starting to really enjoy and interact with.

Nathan has had some days of practise in the Active World Tray during school, and he does NOT like it! Training him this week has probably been the hardest aspect of school so far, and I'm persevering but I soooo hope he gets it soon, because it will be really disruptive to school next week if not! He is just beginning to really assert himself and resist things that I tell/ask him to do, with lots of tantrummy fuss and stroppiness, lately. So this is another opportunity for him to do the above. Which is trying! But, I know he's "only" 20 months old, yet I am NOT about to let him continue in this grumpy resistance thing he's starting. I did with the others to some degree because all I knew was that it was normal at that age, to be expected, and the way to handle it was to distract, ignore, or just ride it out and wait for the "phase" to pass. Well now I have two children who are really well practised at grumpy resistance, and I have no plans to make that THREE children who are really well practised at grumpy resistance. I hope it makes a difference this time! He does not get away with any sort of toddler-ish strop or tantrums, like his brothers did. He is learning to stay in the tray and play, but he whines and tantrums about it, and gets out a lot, and I am currently doing a lot of putting him back and cheerfully telling him, "School time, Nathey! Stay in your tray!" a million billion times over, and re-introducing him to the toy(s) and books he has in there. Two of those mornings he finally got out of his tray and lay on the sofa with his monkey and baggy (his blankie - he pronounces blankie, "baggy", which overwhelms me completely due to the sheer CUTENESS with that helium-chipmunky voice and the tenderness of his tone as he says it, but that's another post really!) and when I asked if he wanted to go to bed, he said yes, and took his nap when I popped him in his cot.

Matthew is doing great during his "tray time" while we do school. When he's in there, he stays and he is absorbed by the educational manipulatives I put in there for him. They have wooden cubes, coloured "counters" in different shapes (vehicles, dinosaurs, etc), coloured sorting bowls, mini animals and fish (hundreds!), counting bears, linking rings and giant beads, giant pegboards and pegs, lacing and threading toys, and fuzzy felt. They get one of those for a school session, sometimes two if it's a small activity, and they may swap trays to play with a different thing halfway through school if they want to and they ask me. They also have something soft to rest on (pillow or something like that) to one side in the tray if they need it, and a couple of books next to that. Matthew has to play quietly, and he is doing amazingly well with "no noise with your mouth" - I'm surprised by how well he's doing! :) He doesn't sit silently and does need reminding, but he complies well and doesn't get out of his tray for the most part. I thought I would have a hard job with both the boys in their trays, but it's really just Nathan.

We had a slightly hairy day this week when Neil got a migraine at work and set out to come home halfway through the afternoon. He didn't have any painkillers with him (or at work) and for some reason he figured he would just get home and then take some. So of course he did not get far before he had to pull over into a service station on the motorway, and was completely unable to leave his car and walk, let alone drive any further! His commute is an hour each way, so that was not great. He phoned me from his mobile and I didn't know how on earth he would get home. I put the phone down and told the boys we had to pray for Daddy because only God could help him. I prayed aloud and then Arthur prayed, and then Matthew prayed out loud with me for the first time! :) He told me HE could help Daddy, and when I asked how, he said he could put his cape on and be "Super Mashew!!" and then he would zoom like this (appropriate gesture) and then flyyyy down like this (appropriate gesture) and rescue Daddy! So sweet! :)

Neil called back shortly after and could barely talk to me, or think what on earth to do. He couldn't get out of the car and see if there were any painkillers to buy, even. So the boys and I prayed again, and then I started phoning around asking people to pray for his head and for help. I put him on the church prayer chain, and called a couple of friends. And Facebook :) Then I phoned my parents, at Arthur's request (though I did have to tell him they would not likely pray because they are not Christians), and my Daddy suggested that I call Neil's sister or brother. Neil's sister actually lives 10 minutes from where Neil works - I can't believe I didn't think of that! So I called her, but there was no answer three times. Then I called his brother - it was 5.30pm by this time - and he was on the train at Blackfriars in London, after a training day there for work! Bless his heart, he instantly told me he would go and fetch Neil, but that he would have to get home (an hour's commute) and then change his clothes and drive an hour to where Neil was on his motorbike. Such a star!

So I did the boys' dinner, and got them ready for bed, and then had my first experience putting three small boys and a baby to bed all by myself! It was HAIRY. But I did it. I was so exhausted and had a headache myself by the time they were all asleep, and I hate that Benjamin had to cry such a lot as I tried to juggle settling the older boys to bed and rushing back to bounce his Amby hammock to try to settle him. He wanted a long unrushed bedtime himself, like he usually has, and I couldn't stay long enough to settle him properly because I HAD to get the poor tired boys in bed. I have to stay with them until at least one of them is asleep because it averts Horrible Disaster Bedtime that way. The ideal situation is for Matthew to be the first to fall asleep. I can happily leave Nathan and Arthur to go to sleep by themselves in the same bedroom, but Matthew can be a monkey at bedtime sometimes and keep getting out of bed and winding the others up while I'm out of the room. Not always, but I wasn't willing to risk it! Arthur did mess around and go downstairs for time out in the porch until his brothers were asleep in the end (LONG time for him, but it had to be done for me to manage it in the end). Nathan is having a strange phase lately where he is clingy and cries for me if I leave the room. I can't remember the others (well, Arthur didn't have these phases, but Matthew did) but isn't he too old for separation anxiety now?? I can't remember if there's another common phase of it around this age? Anyway, he has regressed on settling to sleep by himself, which he has been doing for ages just fine. He cries till he's in a complete state now, so I stay with him or else he just doesn't nap. Which doesn't work because he REALLY seems to need his sleep in the day still.

Anyway, I digress! So bedtime went okayish. Benjamin cried way too much and I hated that, it stressed me out. But in the end I was able to spend a long time settling him after the two middle boys were asleep, and then put Arthur to bed. Neil got home around 9.30pm after waiting 6 hours by the motorway with a horrible migraine! But God really did answer our prayers. Ian was able to get him home, and he took him some painkillers too. By the time Neil got home, he was surprised to be feeling almost fine! Which is just unheard of with his migraines so soon. He was able to chat normally and even ate the dinner I had waiting (although I was about to put it in the freezer since I didn't think he would be able to stomach food), and then went to bed. He took the next day off work because driving and working would not have been a good idea, and rested quite a bit but otherwise seemed a lot better, which was a big relief! Thank you Lord! Thank you if you saw my Facebook plea (!) and prayed for us! I was happy to survive dinner/bedtime with all four little ones for the first time too! :)

I am not sure what else I wanted to write! I know there was a lot more, and I MUST get caught up with photos too, but suddenly my mind has gone blank and this is long already. I apologise if it's kind of school-heavy and boring for some, but I do really want to record a LOT of stuff at this stage in our schooling. I know I will forget it all otherwise, and it's important information for when we've been doing it 10 years and people start to ask me how I started out and how it went. Or when I start with Matthew or Nathan or Benjamin, or wonder what to expect when starting to train Benjamin to sit in his tray while I teach 2 (or 3?!) older boys. Next week I will want to keep track of a lot of stuff as we go along. I hope it will go well, and that I'll remember to be flexible, and not too hard on myself if it doesn't all work exactly as I hope it will!

Now I am off to read some of the Right Start mathematics curriculum before going to bed. Oh. Make that, feed Benji-boo-bean and THEN read some of the Right Start mathematics curriculum! ;) He's stirring. Back soon! Thanks for the comments last entry. I figured out two things - 1) switch my settings to notify me every time anyone comments on any of my posts at any of my blogs (yay! So helpful! Now I won't miss any!) and 2) reply to comments on my own comments! :) Easier to respond and thank people specifically, where I get the chance to! I see other bloggers do this all the time and can't think why I didn't do it myself until now!

House things and other quick stuff :)

Just a quick fly-by (really, I will try!), because it's late and I'm about ready to go to bed. I just wanted to quickly post to make note of a few things:

* We had our first viewer today to see our house! He made an offer!!!!! I'm soooo surprised, because I had a very firm mindset of expecting NOTHING from the first, ohhh, DOZEN viewers, lol! And thus not having any stress over people viewing and not showing interest. The house is so cluttered and messy and curtain hems hanging down where the boys have picked at them, crayon on the walls, laundry piles everywhere, etc, etc. I just tidied and cleaned this morning best I could, saying over and over to myself (out loud where necessary!), "I don't mind what they think, they take it as they find it." It helped me stay sane this time (I went a little bit stressy-nuts last time we had a viewing booked, to the point that I cancelled it and got all tearful!). Anyway, yay! We have two more viewings booked tomorrow, plus the partner of this guy who came to see it today. The offer is for £10,000 less than the value price, and we really want/need to get as close to the actual value as possible, but we can just about go with his offer if nobody counters it over the weekend. Aaaaaaaahhh, we're really moving house!!!!! I have just realised how little I have believed that would actually happen! ;) Suddenly I'm nostalgic and wistful and wishing we didn't have to leave the place where Matthew was born and sooooo much has happened. *sniffle*

* I rest my case on my last post where I ranted about playgroups and germs! I had a midwife appt on Wednesday (28 weeks!!!) which I MUST write about in my pregnancy diary, but anyway - it was at the Sure Start centre where they have a playgroup. I had to take the boys this time and Arthur and Matthew played in the big hall while I took Nathan in with me to an adjoining room to see the midwife. It's a GREAT layout and I love it! There are so many fun toys for the boys to explore and play with. There's a "stay and play" programme that runs in the mornings and afternoons 3 days a week, and mine was a lunchtime appointment so we happened to miss the playgroup that ran in the morning. They played with all the toys but there were no other kids, except some big kids who were playing pool with it being Easter holidays. The centre manager stepped out of her office to sit and play cars with my boys the whole time I was with the midwife - so lovely of her! Anyway, so today Arthur has had a sore throat since he got up this morning and is sneezing his little head off. He has woken a couple of times this evening, streaming with cold :( I can't believe we'd go to a playgroup setting with NO CHILDREN and still catch something from the toys!! Tsk! Sick kids were clearly present that morning, even though they'd left by the time we got there. It's the first virus we've had since before Christmas! Thank goodness it's just a cold though and hopefully we'll all just throw it off fast! But, I rest my case. ;)

* Arthur had his first outing to the theatre!! My grandparents were sweet enough to book tickets to a local children's theatre that they used to take ME and my brother to when we were little! I used to go there a lot as a child because it is a FABULOUS place. I had a birthday party there once, and also went to some of the children's workshops in the holidays. It's so nostalgic for me, seeing Arthur go there now! Granny and Grandoug took him on the "big bus" (he has been scared of double decker buses for years, just because he doesn't like the noise close up and the size of them), but he was excited to go on the top deck this time :) He had a great time. The play was aimed at 4-7 year olds so he's at the young end, and my grandparents didn't know if some of it was beyond him, but he kept up with it fine and enjoyed it. He said he was scared of the wolf and the giant though, bless! He had chocolate ice-cream during the interval but he couldn't finish it all. It was REALLY STRANGE with just Matthew and Nathan here! Matthew missed Arthur and was a bit serious. He asked a few times where Arthur was and when he was coming home, and if it would be his turn to go out for a treat next :) He spent a little while at first being a bit mean to Nathan for some reason, poking him and stuff. He went in his chair in the kitchen for that, and then when he came out he seemed to decide to play with Nathan properly, and engaged him eagerly. He does play with Nathan a lot normally, but I think he felt a bit lost without his MAIN playmate! ;) Nathan already plays-with, even at 15 months. He doesn't play alongside or independently only, like I heard 15-month-olds do - perhaps it's because he has his brothers around all the time? Arthur did that only playing alongside other toddlers or just playing independently, but I don't think Matthew did as much. Nathan totally plays WITH his brothers, interacting, trying to talk to them (total babble, he really has no words as such, other than Arthur and Dah (daddy)), and communicating desperately with his eyes (and very expressive eyebrows, so funny!). He will do stuff they ask him to do, if he understands it, and he tries so hard! He loves to play with them! So, he lapped up Matthew's advances, and they sat and played duplo and bricks and stacking things for AGES. Matthew seemed so delighted - he kept calling out to me, "Look Mummy! We playing NICE-Y! We playing TOGEZZER!" Sweetie pies! :)

Nathan went for a nap part-way through Arthur's outing, and then I had the wonderful opportunity to have some good 1-on-1 time with my sweet second-born! But he rejected me!!!! We got a pile of lovely stories to cuddle up and read together, but he wanted to sit and read them over by himself and if I asked him if I could read them to him, he said, "Um, no. No shanks." I felt sad about it, because I wanted to spend the time with him and he was busy doing his thing! Oh well. He did let me give him lots of cuddles just the two of us, when he wasn't "reading" his stories, so that's something! He was sooooooo beamingly joyful to see Arthur as he came through the door when he got home! He kept yelling, "It's Arsur, yaaaaaay! It's Arsur!!!" over and over again, and barely gave Arthur enough room to get in the front door for crowding to get near him! Granny had bought a programme at the theatre and Matthew sat "reading" it really seriously for ages after Arthur was home. If I tried to ask him something or get his attention for something, he just told me, "I busy reading Arsur's book right now." and look back to it!

Sooo that was different. It was less chaotic with Arthur gone for a couple of hours in the afternoon. Less noise and clamour. Only two small children to cater for! The weirdness of only ONE when the other was napping - that's so strange to me now, which is odd because of how it still seems so recent that I only had two, and Matthew was a baby so frequently napping! It was so much quieter. But - I didn't like it. Matthew didn't like it either. I was glad when Arthur came home. It certainly was easier and less hectic, and we enjoyed the different-ness, but I wouldn't like him to be gone on a regular basis like that! I love having them all around all the time :)

Arthur has been reading a 3-word "story" for 3 days running now, in his reading lessons! He was so excited about the first one, because I told him before we started that he would be reading a STORY that day. He could barely wait through the exercises and word reading, and I had to cover things up so he wouldn't skip ahead too much. Finally we were on the page before the story, that is, the story was on the other side of the page we were reading. We had an exercise to do that was just sounding out letters - or sounds, as they're called in the book. It's an easy exercise, and the story was next. He really surprised me! He saw the large print of the three words of the story THROUGH THE PAGE we were reading, and said, "Oooh, that must be my story!!!" I started to say that we'd get to that next and draw his attention back to the sounds, when he put his finger to the paper and said, "It says, "Ssseee, meee, eeaat! - See me eat!" The thing that boggled me is that it was through the page, so the words were back to front, obviously. I didn't even know if he could read the words yet without assistance, let alone grainily through the other side of the paper and back to front!!!! I had absolutely nothing to say, and eventually stammered about finishing the sounds, and when we turned the page I asked him to go through the steps of reading the story he'd already read, haha! He giggled at that, like he'd done something mischievous. I can't believe how fast he's progressing, and I'm so encouraged by his enthusiasm! I really like making note of things here because I haven't really got a place to note them as he's learning, and there's a lot that I want to make note of which I hadn't anticipated. I'm actually not trying to boast in him, honestly! I just want to make note of where I'm particularly surprised by something he does or encouraged (or if there's a difficulty anywhere). Maybe I should start a paper journal for those things? Hmmm.

Okay this is NOT the fly-by I promised, haha! No real surprise there, then! It's so late, but I'm happy that it's the weekend! Neil worked late tonight and getting the boys dinner and ready for bed was easier than last time, which was easier than the time before. They were all in bed asleep or working on it by 7.30pm, so I felt good for that! Matthew was asleep by 6.50pm! He actually needs that kind of bedtime every single day. He really needs his 12 hours of solid sleep. Arthur is less so inclined (takes maybe 10 even if he's tired and needs more, and tends to stir or wake in the night), and Nathan is starting to sleep better too. He settles himself for naps and bedtime, since I've been basically leaving the poor chap to fuss and cry till he goes to sleep! :S I hate doing that, but he hasn't really been hysterical about it. If he does that then I go in and resettle and leave again. He is usually fussing and crying, lying down and trying to sleep, fussing and crying again, etc. If he's irate and miserable and never trying to sleep, I rescue him :) His night wakings are much improved this week, though it always (always!) gets worse after I post that kind of sentence, so I won't hold my breath! Also he's likely to get a cold from his brother so that could be thrown off a bit soon. But the last two nights I have woken more than Nathan, which is a first! I'm now woken more by my FOURTH son than my third, haha! If he rolls into a different position (the one in my tum, this is) in the night, it often triggers a SEARING ligament pain on that side and I wake sort of writhing with it till it subsides. And I'm waking to pee twice a night now too. It's frustrating to wake, tired, and see my sleeping baby there NOT waking me up - but I'm up anyway! Tsk! ;) I've discovered that Nathan DOES stir a lot but is rarely/never fully waking up! One or two times in the night if I'm awake when he stirs, I pat his bottom a few times if it's a "I'm about to wake up!" stirring, and he settles back into a deeper sleep without ever really coming out of it, so that's good. That technique was what started him sleeping better in the first place, I think. That and the daytime/bedtime self-settling. So that's good!

I'm sure there was something else.... Loads else, probably. My parents came over from France for a DAY yesterday! Daddy had a meeting at his studio that he HAD to attend, and Mummy came with him to see her grandchildren! They got the overnight ferry here, she spent the morning with us, had lunch with Daddy, and then the afternoon with Thea and my brother before going home to France on the night ferry again! I think they are coming back (another meeting) the week after next, so hopefully we'll see them again. The boys LOVE Nana and Grandy and it's always wonderful wonderful WONDERFUL to see them! I love my parents, and really miss them now they live abroad. We don't see them very often - sort of when I have a baby and once or twice in between! ;)

Okay, that's it for tonight! I have photos, but once again they're not at my fingertips to post since I just meant to type a quick post! I'll get to them soon!

Shepherd's Pie Recipe, and home-related things

I am so loving food at the moment! My whole experience with food has completely changed since I first became pregnant. I used to never think it was all that great, but it's like my taste buds had never been fully awake till hormones hit them, haha!

I am also loving doing homely things at the moment. I always do love that, and have always aspired to it, but I am actually able to be "housewifey" pretty much every day at the moment! I am not restricted at all by any morning sickness or exhaustion. I'm tired a lot and find myself breathless very easily, but at nearly 24 weeks, I am at a GREAT stage of pregnancy!

Today while Neil took the boys for a run (walk, in Nathan's case - he hasn't learnt to run yet, though he's starting to try!) at the park, I went to Homebase and bought cheap bedding plants (pansies, as they were by far the cheapest) and a cheap trowel and pair of ladies' gardening gloves! Neil pulled all the huge weeds out of the "flower" border along the driveway yesterday, and we now have daffodils, ivy and a lavender bush in there that I planted 7 years ago, and lots of nice earthy space at last! I let a roast chicken and veggies cook while I knelt by the border and planted 70 tiny pansy plants around the daffodils and ivy. There's still more space to fill, but it looks to me like a couple of shrubs would do that best, so I'll get a couple of those during the week with the boys, I think. Anyway, I LOVED doing that. I looked out of the upstairs window as the sun was setting this evening, and just spent some time thanking God for what it meant to me to do that planting.

I am thankful because it's so nice to work with nature, with pretty flowers and plants and earth that God himself has created.

I am thankful because it's so wonderful to have the energy and health to go out there and do an activity like that. I haven't always had that luxury, and I'm grateful that I do now!

I am thankful because it was an activity that served my husband and children, and the home too. It was lovely to work at beautifying my home with my own hands, to be a pleasure for my family to see, and to be something that Neil didn't have to do himself at a later time. It really filled me with joy to do this, with those things in mind! :)

I am thankful because while I was sitting there, it occurred to me that I was planting MY border with flowers of my choice. To make MY home look nice. Mine. I honestly must still think of myself as a little girl playing house, because sometimes it newly occurs to me that I have really and truly grown up now, and have my OWN home, actually ours, we own it! And my own husband and children. I am so incredibly blessed and thankful that we have our own home. God has blessed us so much.

We are finally getting ourselves in gear to sell our home and move house. The Estate Agent came round yesterday to appraise the property. He advised us to DECLUTTER, haha! It's that obvious when you are in the house. Nothing much else matters, he said. Just for goodness' sakes, get rid of the clutter!! ;) I thought I could tackle the mountain of it myself, and I CAN but it will take me too long at the rate I'm going. The job is just humongous. Neil got a bonus last week that made him lost for words - God is so good to us!!!! We are putting it towards our house move, but a good portion of it will go towards getting the house ready to sell without having to worry about financing that, and also packing and moving. So, we are going to go back to the plan of hiring a professional declutterer, for a quick and complete declutter, ready for moving house. She will also teach me how to keep organised and decluttered, which is going to be valuable teaching for me!

Yesterday I ordered bunk beds for the boys! I have two months to get Nathan sleeping through the night enough (he wakes 4+ times STILL, at 14 months!) to move into the boys' bedroom. He sleeps in his cot next to my bed at the moment, and spends the last few hours of the night in bed with me. I want him to transition into the other room around 16 months old, because the new baby is due just before he turns 18 months and I want a little time for them all to adjust before another big change! So the older two boys will share a bunk bed, and Nathan will move into Matthew's cotbed (it's a toddler bed right now, but I think Nathan will be too young for a toddler bed. So we'll have to put it back into a cotbed for him, I think). Then Nathan's cot will be free for the new baby. I don't think we'll even bother putting it away for those couple of months, it might as well sit ready! ;)

We have no idea when we'll move house. It's not even on the market yet, but it will be soon, hopefully. Then we just wait and see what God will have in store for us. We have no anxiety about the timing or anything, because we know that God's timing is best, however it might look from where we're standing. If it gets to June and we have no buyer, we'll probably take it off the market while we have a baby and adjust after the postnatal bit, and then put it back on again. In some ways it would be nice to move house FAST (which I know God can totally arrange, despite the current times with selling houses!) and be done and dusted in a home that's much bigger, more outdoor space for the boys, and much nearer to Neil's work, BEFORE the new baby comes. But on the other hand, I am not exactly eager to get more and more pregnant and have to deal with packing, moving and resettling, along with alllll the stress and upheaval that goes with that at the same time! I also would prefer to stick with the midwife team I have in this area, and the hospital I am very familiar with, now that I'm this far into my pregnancy. But, I still haven't decided whether to have a homebirth or a hospital birth yet. I'm nervous that if I decide hospital birth, the new hospital won't be a great one. Or that I'll choose homebirth and not have a great midwife team that are as supportive as my current one. But it could be EVEN BETTER on both counts! So I shouldn't worry about it at all.

Having the baby and settling in with him BEFORE moving would be nice, but then I have no idea how I will be coping with life after the initial postnatal period. I have had mild postnatal depression with 2 of my 3 babies, and I had nothing but extreme elation after Nathan, hehe! But Neil was out of work and the pressure on me during the adjustment stage was NOTHING like it was the other two times. He will obviously be at work this time, and so I am a little apprehensive about how I will manage. It seems hormonal for me, or it did before anyway. As soon as my periods return, all is well again, like a light switch. I have to wait 5-6 months postpartum for that. ;) It would be great to move house after settling into having 4 children, but what if I am really struggling at that stage, and we really NEED to move then? I don't know how I would cope with moving house with postnatal depression, in fact I don't think I could. So that's the only nervy aspect for me. I need to turn the WHOLE thing over to God, and trust that he'll provide. He always does! I should do this more often, with more things in my life! Tsk.

We are incredibly blessed that we're seeing a LOT of homes available to buy in a 20-minute commuting radius of Neil's workplace. We don't necessarily want to move right on the doorstep in the city, though we could. We have the option to live somewhere a little more "villagey" and less polluted, and still only have Neil drive for 15 minutes to get to work. I just keep thinking about it and shaking my head in... not disbelief, as such - I totally BELIEVE that God is blessing us this much! I just can't get over it, that's all. We can afford to pick and choose in the area we're looking at. There is a lot of choice with the housing market as it is. We can look at buying a 4-bedroom house, or a 3-bedroom one with space for extending and converting. We plan to be picky about 3 things:

1) The back garden MUST be spacious. That's my #1 thing really, for the boys. Our current garden is so tiny. I want them to be able to run and run without hitting a fence every 20 feet, haha! That's what they currently do. I'm not even sure if our garden IS 20ft long, and it's definitely less than 20ft wide. We're aiming for a minimum of 60-80ft long for a back garden, to give the boys plenty of space to play and run.

2) The house must have 4 bedrooms, or 3, with the potential to extend to 4 or more at some point. We still plan for the boys to share, but we have no idea how many children we'll have over the time we're living there (hoping that this next home will be the one we raise our family in), and 4 bedrooms is our minimum really.

3) The living space downstairs must be GOOD. Or, there must be scope to extend or convert to make a large living area downstairs. We would convert any home that had an internal garage, and build on top of it if there wasn't already an upstairs extension there. We are looking for a large living room, and would also like a good sized kitchen for the boys to be able to help me in the kitchen, and a dining area would be good too. We would want to add on (if not already present) a playroom, preferably large so that we can section it for homeschooling, and a utility room for laundry purposes (and possibly clothes storage).

If the houses we're looking at don't have the above 3 things, we pretty much dismiss them. I'm just AMAZED that God has enabled us to go from no income for 9 months (less than a year ago, even!) and totally relying upon him to get by, to the luxury of having the choice to look at houses in the way I've just described! I can't get over it, seriously. I just feel amazed, and like I want to pinch myself to make sure it's really true. When Neil was out of work and we prayed together a LOT (I miss that!), we prayed specifically for our next home. A friend at church told us to pray for what we wanted, regarding a home, and watch and see God bless us faithfully! So we discussed what we really wanted in our next home, and then prayed specifically for those things. I wrote them in my prayer journal the day we prayed (1st May 2008):

1) At least 4 bedrooms
2) Spacious downstairs for the boys/homeschooling
3) Big garden for lots of energetic kids!
4) Space for Neil to be able to work from home if that's how God led him (not applicable now, I think)
5) Nice location to live

I just noticed #6 in my prayer journal - it says, "More children (more me though!)" hehe! I wasn't pregnant with this baby yet, so THANK YOU LORD!! :) I'm so excited to see God answer our prayers. We had no idea at the time that we'd ever manage to afford such things in a home, since we had no money, no income, and no idea of when that situation might change, and how much we might have when it did. Now we are not at the stage where we're sitting IN that God-given home yet, but we can now afford these things and are currently setting out to sell our home and buy a new one! So it's already amazing to me that God is answering our specific prayer, even though we haven't seen the end result yet. God is so wonderful! I love him so much! :)

Today was sunny and spring-like, one of the very first days like it this year! The breeze was lovely and the sun was warm. I just wanted to be outdoors! The boys played in the (tiny) garden during the morning, and then went to the park for a more spacious play time in the afternoon. It was so nice to have quiet time to be outdoors doing something useful when I was planting those pansies.

I wore a dress today! I dug through my maternity clothes, as my bump is getting ever so much bigger all of a sudden! I found a denim pinafore dress and wore it with a crinkly white top with half-length sleeves underneath. I never wear dresses, but I love doing so. I love looking and feeling more feminine. I LOVE my jeans and comfy tracksuit bottoms though :) But there's this FEELING that I get when I put on a dress. I feel pretty and feminine, and just a bit different somehow, in a way that I really really like. It makes me feel.... I can't put my finger on it. But it makes me feel such a swell of confidence in my appearance and also just in anything relating to femininity, like being a mummy (though I realise being good at that has nothing to do with what you're wearing!), or being attractive to my husband (though he finds me attractive anyway, thankfully!), and just being a WOMAN. (does anyone else get this same slight squeamishness that I'm feeling due to describing oneself as a WOMAN?! I feel so like a GIRL, and still haven't quite accepted the fact that I've grown up into a woman, so the term still makes me squirm a little! Or am I just a little unbalanced?!)

Anyway, back to the point. I wore a dress :) And felt wonderful! I wish I had more dresses to wear that look nice. I am not good at buying dresses. Either they just don't exist (ones that look nice on me, that is) or else I am not good at finding them! If I had more, I think I would wear them more than jeans even. Maybe. I have BOUGHT a ton of dresses, especially maternity dresses, mainly from eBay. But most of them have not looked good on me when I put them on, so they got sold again, or given away, or some are even still sitting and waiting for me to declutter them! This denim pinafore dress was an eBay purchase during my first pregnancy. I haven't been able to wear it every pregnancy because of the seasons being different, but I'm so happy to have 4 months to go and JUST coming into the ideal season for wearing this dress! I'm going to wear it a lot :) I used to wear dresses in the summer a lot more when I was in my teens, but that's because my mum had some lovely ones and would share them with me :) And also she bought me some dresses, so I had her expert eye to do the mainstay of the choosing. She could always buy me something that suited me well, and I don't seem to have that eye. Now she lives in France and we're never able to shop together any more :( I miss that.

I like to look girly! I think especially now that I have a houseful of boys! I particularly want to hold up the GIRLY side of the family, since I'm the only one doing so! ;)

Okay, this post could go on forever, and I'm rambling away! I really just meant to post a little about our situation with the house, and just some other bits and pieces. I also felt like posting a recipe (gasp!) here. I was looking over the meal plan for the week and shared a recipe on one of my due date forums, and then I really wanted to post it here too! Meal planning is going really smoothly at the moment, and I am getting into an easy routine with making the shopping list and ordering the shopping online. We've stopped doing ANY trips to the supermarket now, and at first we felt kind of guilty (for some reason!), but now I have no plans to go back to it for now. It's so incredibly wonderful to have the shopping delivered to the door, and really not that expensive. It's between £3.50 and £6, depending on the day and the time of delivery, to have shopping delivered from Tesco. I am careful to shop for our things in bulk if there are deals going, and I reckon with my frugal-ness in that department I have made up for the weekly delivery costs easily. I am never so good at being frugal IN the supermarket. I don't notice the deals so easily, and I have time to sit and hunt them down and think them through at home in front of the computer. It saves on fuel for us too :)

It's so convenient, and doesn't tax my energy or strength at all, leaving me much more able to use it for the benefit of the little ones for the rest of the day, PLUS we have all that time that we'd normally spend out getting the shopping, to do other things, and nobody melts down in a supermarket trolley. It's ideal as I get more pregnant. Also, they recycle our bags from the last delivery! I can't believe we didn't do it sooner. I've discovered that we need a delivery every 6 days. Pretty much exactly, every week. I fine-tuned it - we started out trying to stretch as long as we could before ordering again, but then we were out of stuff to the point that Neil would go to the supermarket at night to pick up a couple of things, maybe twice a week. And use petrol, and his time, and end up buying chocolate or cookies or something! ;)

So, every 6 days exactly is working perfectly. If we go to 7 days, we pretty much don't have milk for the last 24 hours, and usually a couple of things that the boys like for lunch too. We are usually just using up the last pint or two of our 16-pints-every-6-days (!!), when the next delivery arrives, which is perfect. We also run out of bread after that time (I buy as many as the freezer will hold, but we don't have an enormous freezer and it stores lots of other things). I really really REALLY want to start baking my own bread - I have had quite a strong pull towards doing that for a couple of months now, as though it's a hormonally-based thing! But I really would love to bake my own bread and not buy it any more. I just have beginners' nerves! And there are toooo many recipes out there - I have no idea which to choose to start with! I want wholemeal only, I think. A lot of the recipes I've found are American, and the only thing I remember about American bread is that it's soooooo sweet. I never ate it on our holidays there, because I really disliked it. I DID like the sourdough breads because they most resembled British bread, but they were still a bit more sour than I was used to. I don't know if homemade bread recipes are less sugary than the store-bought bread in the States, so I am unsure whether to try baking them. And I don't want to bake any US sourdough recipes because I am not actually crazy about sourdough! I just like British bread, not as sweet as US bread, but not sourdough either. I have recipe confusion!! I also don't have a breadmaker, and don't plan to get one either. I want to try hand-making bread, and see if it takes off. If it DOES and I am making bread regularly and think a breadmaker would be a great help, THEN maybe I will invest in one. I am really good at saying, "I am going to make ____ from now on!" and buying the appropriate tools, only to um, NOT stick to making ____ at all, and thus the tools sit taking up space and are a wasted purchase! So I don't want to make the same mistake again.

Okay, so the meal plan for this week (including the weekend just finishing):

Saturday: Sausages, mashed potatoes, baked beans, vegetables (mainly for me - I'm having a big thing for veg right now!)

Sunday: Roast chicken, roast potatoes, parsnips and sweet potatoes, broccoli, carrots and peas.

Monday: Spaghetti bolognese (frozen from last week's batch)

Tuesday: Chicken pot pie (frozen from last week's leftover roast - I am going to use today's leftover chicken in sandwiches for lunch)

Wednesday: "My Pasta" (now starting to be called "Mummy's Pasta" :) And it was known as "Ali's Pasta" when I made it for my family before I was married and moved out of home) - pasta with a tomato/pesto/herb sauce and grated cheese on the top. I will probably serve fish fingers with this as it goes well and the boys like it.

Thursday: Shepherd's Pie (frozen from last week's batch)

Friday will be the next shopping delivery day so I will think about meals from Friday onwards later in the week.

I wanted to share my Shepherd's Pie recipe! It's based on a recipe in a book but I tweaked it a bit over the years. It's a layered Shepherd's Pie, and we love it! I've converted the measures into lbs and fluid oz as well. The book says it serves 4, but I always make a double portion and freeze one, so the recipe below is for the double portion.

Shepherd's Pie

1.2kg (2.5lbs) potatoes
1kg (2lbs) lamb mince (ground lamb)
1-2 tbsp tomato paste
fresh parsley, chopped (about a tbsp or so)
300mls (10fl oz) cold water
1 onion
4 leeks
4 carrots
1-2 tbsp flour
oil
cheddar cheese (or alternative)

Okay, so I peel and boil the potatoes for mashing, and then chop the onion and saute it for 5 mins. Then I add the lamb mince, breaking it up as it cooks (I brown it). I add the chopped parsley and the tomato paste, and then 300mls of water (the recipe says that should be half red wine but I don't use wine in the stuff the kids eat!). I stir it up, season it to taste, and sometimes throw in a few shakes of Worcestershire sauce if I feel like it. That simmers till most of the liquid is gone, about 15 mins.

While that's doing, I thinly slice the leeks and carrots and saute them in a little oil for 15 mins or so, till they're tender.

I mash the potatoes and set those aside. Then I coat the leeks and carrots in flour and toss them till it's absorbed. Those go at the bottom of the dish for baking. On top of that I put the meat layer, and then the potatoes on top of that. The whole lot gets a generous covering of grated cheddar cheese, and then it bakes for 45 mins at 180ish (Celsius - that would be 350 F or something like that).

It's so yummy! Wine makes it a little more rich and tasty, but I find it perfectly tasty as it is. We don't add salt to anything in our house really. Not cooking water for pasta or potatoes, or anything. I do add a pinch of salt where recipes call for it usually, like in gravy (but not stock). Where it says "season to taste", I don't use anything. I guess we enjoy quite a bland diet, but it seems super tasty to me, and my taste buds aren't blown away by anyone else's food, unless it's spicy. I really dislike spicy (plus I'm allergic to chilli and peppers). When my parents cook vegetables boiled in salted water, they taste WAY too salty, though :)

It's getting late now so I will stop and go to bed. I have so much that I want to write, and so many photos and video clips that I recently found time to upload. I feel so behind on sharing those! I will try to post some soon. Thanks for all the sweet comments on my last post!