Nathan is 4 months old!

Late, so a short entry (honestly!), but I have got sooooooooo many photos to post that I need to make a start!

I uploaded photos of Nathan from my camera first, all taken since he turned 4 months old on Monday (four months!?!?!). I think there are still some from before then which I haven't posted, but oh well. I will try to get to those soon!

Also, must write about Matthew's haircut. And we're a bit germy at the moment. Matthew had green goo hanging out of his left eye last night at bedtime, but it looked otherwise fine and wasn't bothering him so I figured we'd keep an eye on it (I'm sorry. I couldn't help myself. I lead a simple life, you know!). By the time I went to bed I had a weird sore throat, not awful, but just ALL over my throat rather than just in one place like I'm used to. In the night I didn't get much sleep at all, nothing before 4am, and then very broken after that. My throat felt swollen and it was hard to force a swallow, but it still wasn't horribly sore. Matthew woke lots of times in the night crying, and he wouldn't let Neil comfort him, he only wanted me, which was unusual as well.

Anyway, by the morning, his left eye was clearly NOT WELL! He had so much goop coming from it, and after we'd de-gummed his eyelashes so he could open the eye, it was pink and SO swollen. Naturally it was Saturday (no GP surgery open) because that's when we always need to see a doctor in this house! So we took him to the emergency clinic and they were really anxious about the swelling in his eyelid. They prescribed a TEN day course of oral double-strength antibiotics, urrrgh! In my gut I did not feel like it was right for him. I have had conjunctivitis a fair few times myself as a child/teen, but I don't think I had the swelling. They were worried about cellulitis and said he might need to come back for IV antibiotics!! Yikes!

So, by a few hours later, his eye was way less swollen, and his other eye had rapidly gone from fine-and-dandy, to pink and goopy. Also we got him the antibiotics and he promptly spat them out everywhere and wouldn't swallow even a tiny bit (even bribed with Smarties!). Soooo we called the clinic and they said to come back at 6pm to reassess him. I took him this time with my "mama guns" loaded! ;) I had googled and googled and just did not understand the need for him to have such mega antibiotics.

I prayed on the way there in the car and thankfully we saw a great doctor who didn't know why Matthew had been prescribed antibiotics, because eye drops would do the trick! :) Hooray! So Matthew has to have eye drops 4 times a day for a bit. It's no fun but at least we can ensure his eyes are treated this way!

Meanwhile I looked at my throat in the mirror with a torch and it's COVERED in blistery spots! What is up with that?! The whole thing. They are red/yellow. I asked the doctor to look at my throat and he said it is not bacterial, so I guess I wait it out. I feel crummy, nauseous and achy and off my food, so I hope it goes soon! And that the boys don't get it.

Matthew is coughing a ton in his sleep tonight, almost a croup-like cough, but not croup. Poor sausage! I think it's pretty likely that we'll all have pink eyeballs before the next week is out, but oh well. I just hope the boys don't have it too badly. We have to stay home because it's super infectious, which is a bummer with church tomorrow, but never mind. I just hope it goes quickly! Nathan is really disturbed in his sleep this evening (up hourly so far), so hmmm. Could be a fun night! ;)

Here are the photos of Nathan!

Four months old! And - recent discovery - FEET! :)

In his blue ducky vest that never fit the other boys when they were the right size due to the huge cloth nappies they were wearing! Still using disposables at the moment. I feel sad about it because.... I just do. I think I should use cloth on Nathan even if I can't do all three boys at once in cloth right now. Anyway. This vest is size 6-9 months!

I could eat this boy. Whole.

Here he is having JUST woken up from a nap a few days ago. His neck is so much stronger than it was just a couple of weeks ago! He sleeps on his tummy - see his little red patch on his forehead/cheek where he was sleeping - I go to mush over little things like this. *sigh*

Chewing (a constant activity these days):

BEAMING!! I love my baby boy! :)

He's so haaaappy! Such a sweet, easy-going baby, so much of the time. I'm so blessed! He's going a bit bald on top now, and there are tiny fine hairs everywhere. I have to change his sheets more often now because of the hairs! But in a couple of months I will be able to see his new REAL hair, and I can't wait to see that!

I have a billion more photos, including some nice ones of all three boys together, so I'll try to post those soon, and write about the haircut, etc! :) Thanks so much for the comments on my last entry, and the encouragement!

An update about recent things...

Thank you so much for the lovely comments on my last entry! :)

Today, just so I don't forget:

Arthur weed twice in the potty.

Matthew weed twice in the potty!

Nathan rolled from back to front for the first time (he got front to back down a few weeks ago).

Neil was out from 10am to 4pm AND I SURVIVED!!! ;) In fact, the day was uncannily smooth and straightforward, hmmm. The boys had lunch by noon, Matthew was down for his nap by 1pm, Nathan napped within 90 minutes of waking up, all day (and even had a long-ish morning nap! He is a bit of a 30-minute boy, which I'm trying to CHANGE!), everybody had nappy changes at good regular intervals (no big boy poos, hoorah! Those are no fun! ;) But, three blow-out Nathey poos - yayness!), and I set up a big water play for the boys in the garden for the last 2 hours before Neil got home, with three big see-through tubs of water, and like a HUNDRED (okay, maybe 30 or 40) containers, floating toys, and pouring toys in bright colours, etc.

I slathered the boys in kiddie sun cream and put their hats on, and they both said, "Wwwwooooooowww!" when they saw the bright tablecloth on that grass (that we use for crafts) with all those things scattered like Hundreds and Thousands around the tubs of water! The grass is somewhat prickly at the moment because the neighbour has cut down a portion of his conifer hedge in preparation for buying the end of our garden, and the bits and pieces from it have dried in the sun and can act like thorns in little feet (twice so far :( Must get the boys some summer shoes or sandals soon - Matthew fits a pair that Arthur grew out of last summer and has plenty of growing room, so that's good! But Arthur has no summer shoes. I am hoping to get him some Crocs eventually because those seem like they will be the best for his feet with the problems he has with them). So, the play/craft mat. It's huge so it was very useful!

They sat and tipped and poured and splashed for an hour straight, and then they were both soaked through and cold when the wind blew on them, so I stripped them down and put a pair of big boy pants on each of them (Thomas the Tank - age 3-4 - Matthew's were a little baggy, hehe!) and a dry T-shirt, and Arthur carried on for basically another hour! Matthew got bored of water play so roamed around the garden riding on the ride-on cars or just running about. I LOVE having a garden all of a sudden! I remember this joy from last summer! Hopefully we'll maintain the garden better this year, now that it's going to be smaller and just a lawn to mow. We have brambles growing out of the patio and need to remove those asap, and do something about how we store our rubbish bins there. And scrub the patio down. And mend the fence that's leaning over! And then the boys can play there all the time without a worry. It's sooooooooooo easy for me, and they love it!

Tomorrow it's going to be water play again because they loved it so much. Arthur asked if we could do it again tomorrow. When Neil got home the boys were playing in the garden after 2 straight hours of fun and sunshine, and I had Nathan in the baby bjorn (I yearn for an Ergo, for when Nathan's head control will be good enough for a back carry in a couple of months!!) and was busy loading the dishwasher! Yay! I feel great about today.

I KNOW I have only just begun in terms of having all three on my own all day, all the time (Neil is still at home with no job, so it's just a practise day today), and I KNOW there will be some disasterous days! But I feel so confident about it. I feel - dare I say it? - like three is somehow easier than two, when Matthew was Nathan's age. I know that sounds crazy, but really. The two older ones can entertain each other and so there isn't one lonely child while you're trying to settle the baby for the millionth time. You've had two babies, so you are finally starting to iron out a couple of the mistakes you made the other times! ;) Especially with naps and routines. Nathan fits in just fine because he just gets up and naps 90 minutes later, ALL day. However long he sleeps. I am SO MUCH less stressed this time than I ever was the other two times. About naps and stuff. The whole world was about to crash and burn if Arthur did not get his nap because Matthew was up and down like a yo-yo and would not settle, when it was just the two of them. And if Matthew's naps weren't JUST SO, I would stress about making them just so. This time, yes, Matthew still breastfeeds to sleep (thus requires my presence to go to sleep for his nap, like Arthur did), but it's so straightfoward! And I can't figure out HOW it's this straightforward, when it was soooooo difficult to juggle last time with two nappers at the same ages.

I put Nathan down. If it's between 12.30 and 1.30pm, as soon as he's asleep, I change Matthew's nappy and take him to bed, nurse him to sleep and go back downstairs to Arthur, who has usually been quietly watching CBeebies while I've settled the little ones. I expect Nathan to wake on the dot of half an hour, and when he does - because I'm expecting it, and it's now the THIRD time I have had little ones waking at the 30 minute mark - I am not stressed about it. I do leg it upstairs and attempt to get Nathan back to sleep, which he sometimes does, but if it doesn't work then I'm fine with bringing him down.

Mind you, some of the variables are easier this time. I have been working with Nathan a lot over putting him down to sleep (learning from my previous mistakes/experiences!). I am now at the point where I know he's tired, or I know it's "time" for him to go for a nap, because of the GLORIOUS 90-miunute rule. I take him upstairs, kiss his sweet little head, and lay him straight down (on his tummy - he's still a tummy sleeper for now) in his cot. He pretty much always makes a big fuss and squirms about crossly! I then do one long "shhhhhhhhh" sound as loud as I can (I used to do that to cut through the major screaming for a moment so that he could hear me start a "shh shh shh" rhythm! But I haven't had to do that for a while now :) ) and offer him his dummy. The "shhhhhhhh" stops him crying with a start, and then he usually takes the dummy straight away. I sometimes pat his bottom a few times if he's squirmy still, but usually he starts to roll his eyes shut the instant he's sucking. And I leave the room! It's becoming more and more usual now for him to take himself off to sleep. Occasionally he won't have the dummy and chews and sucks on his fingers and fists, and his eyes do the rolling thing and he goes to sleep by himself. So he is EASY to settle compared with my other babies! But I really have worked with him to achieve it, as I soooo did not want to have the same experience again!

That helps! And Matthew is a better sleeper than Arthur ever was, with naps. When Matthew was a baby, every time he stirred, the noise would wake Arthur, even in another room. Arthur never did nap well, from start to finish! So then I would have a baby to settle and a toddler to settle, because both had got up too soon and both needed more sleep! But I found it so hard to meet both needs, and often found it soooo stressful. But Nathan goes to sleep by himself almost, and it's quick if he does need my help. And Matthew stays asleep through Nathan waking and crying. Matthew naps about 90 minutes still, which is wonderful! But if he DOES wake earlier than that or I can't get him to sleep in time for him to have a nap, then I won't stress about it this time. Unless it gets to be every day.... But I don't see that happening till it becomes obvious that he's ready to drop his nap.

Anyway so it's much less stressful! When Nathan is up, he is being talked to by me (or Neil), and by Arthur. He goes under his play gym thing and watches the stuff hanging, and bats at things a little if I hang bright coloured things low enough for him to reach. He has tummy time and back time on a mat or towel on the floor. I do the EASY plan (a la Baby Whisperer) this time, which I partially did (or started but didn't continue, I can't remember which) with Matthew - as soon as Nathan gets up, I breastfeed him as long as he wants (not for long - the boy can STUFF himself full in less than 5 minutes these days! Occasionally he's more leisurely, espacially if he's sleepy, and will nurse for 10 minutes, say. That feels like SUCH a long nursing session to me when it happens!), and then he is on the floor or in his bouncy chair (constantly trying to crunch his abs and sit up in there now, so maybe not much longer in that?), or under the play gym, having his "Activity" time. Sometimes I read to him with picture books, or touchy-feely books (we have lots now!) and I take his hand and stroke the textures with his fingers somewhat awkwardly, but he seems to love it and pay attention all the same! When he fusses after a while of one thing, I hold him for a bit while I do stuff with the boys (or Neil does), and he just sits and watches life going on in the house really. He also loves being held in front of the mirror right now! Mostly he talks and smiles to our reflections, but sometimes he sees himself (so cute!). And he gets a nappy change. And then I can never believe it when I check the time and it has been like an hour and 15 minutes already since he got up! Or he's fussing and rubbing his face on me or yawning, and I can't believe it's nap time already! So I put him down, and off to sleep he goes, and thus another cycle begins! He's a very easy baby so far. I just love him to bits!

My definite plan is to potty train Arthur and Matthew together over the summer. Yikes! What fun that will be! ;) But soooo worth using the summer months. I am not sure Matthew will be ready for it, because he's only just coming up to 2, and he's a boy. Boys are generally ready later than girls. And just turning two is on the early side for either sex. But I think it will be worth a try, because he is already showing most of the signs of readiness (according to the lists!). He can tell us when he has done, is doing, or is about to do a poo or wee, though less often for the wee. He has great bladder control in that he can stop and start the flow of urine instantly if we ask him to, and has been piddling in stop/move-to-new-spot/go manner all over the living room when he doesn't have his nappy on since he was FOURTEEN months! *sigh* He is really interested in the potty and loves to have a turn sitting on it, even fully clothed! ;) He has an added incentive in that his big brother (who he adores and always wants to copy) will be potty training this summer. So it's worth a try, right? But I won't expect too much of him. I'm excited that he weed twice on the potty today. He got a Smartie each time, just like Arthur does. He also weed on the carpet twice.

Arthur has been weeing and pooing on the potty a LOT, most days, and sometimes several times a day, for a couple of months now. We haven't done ANY formal potty training with him, and he is still 100% in nappies. He is perfectly able and ready. He just has so far expressed a desire NOT to wear big boy pants instead of nappies, so we haven't pushed it. He has no trouble whatsoever performing either way on the potty, which is good.

He's three-and-a-half, by the way!!!! I can't believe we are already halfway to another birthday! It's crazy how fast the time is going. He was 3 years and 6 months old on the 9th. Nathan turned 4 months old yesterday (so his adjusted age is now 3 months old, since he was due almost exactly 3 months ago). And Matthew turns 23 months old tomorrow - one month till his 2nd birthday!!! I still haven't thought about what to dooooo. I wasn't sure if we might be in France (wheeee!) for his birthday, but it has taken a while to get the passport applications sorted out. I finally got them countersigned and tonight I put everything in the envelope for all three applications (Neil, Matthew and Nathan), and it can be posted TOMORROW!! Yay! Then it's a 2-3 week turnaround, so hmmm, I'm not sure if we'll fit in a visit to my parents this side of July. They are coming over for a weekend at the beginning of July, because it's the traditional family get-together at Grandoug's birthday. He will be 83 this year! This year everyone is able to go so I'm excited! I have a tiny family (lots of only-children) so it's a small do, but getting bigger nonetheless! :) Every year there is a new baby! I was pregnant with Arthur in July 2004, and had just found out he was a boy that week! I remember showing the u/s pictures around :) Then in July 2005, Arthur was the centre of attention, hehe! He was nearly 8 months old. In July 2006, Arthur was 20 months old, and Matthew had arrived! He was 3 weeks old. In July 2007, I had my two little lovelies (with Nathan newly on the way!) aged 2.5 and 1, and Thea was the new baby at 6 weeks old. THIS year, Nathan is the new baby!

I figured out that if we are all able to be there NEXT year, the little ones will be aged 4, 3, 2 and 1! How lovely :) I'm not sure that there will be a new baby next year though! I don't know when Bennie and Sarah are thinking of trying for another baby (I know they want another though), but I don't think I would have had another baby by then! Nathan would only be 17 months old. I would really hope to be pregnant by then though, maybe even quite pregnant!

I'm waffling. Ho hum....

It's Thea's first birthday tomorrow! We went to her birthday party on Sunday. She had a picnic at the park with other babies her age that they socialise with at baby groups. And us! Nathan hated the outdoors again and cried the whooooole time. He had a tiny nap and breastfed several times but was generally miserable. It was very hot and sunny and windy and he doesn't like any of those things! He's like Arthur, and me. Neil and Matthew don't mind the summery weather when it gets hot. Anyway it was lovely to be at her birthday party! We had to buy some T-shirts for Arthur as he doesn't have any in his size! He has really grown these last few months and doesn't fit a thing from last summer (fairly understandably, since's he's between 3 and 4 now, not between 2 and 3 like last summer's clothing says!). I've been looking for a cheap deal on eBay for about a month, but T-shirts seem to be selling well on eBay right now (probably the time of year!), and in the end I looked at the prices at Next and figured I might as well buy a couple of multipacks of T-shirts there for about as much (when you include postage at eBay). Also, I know Bennie and Sarah were hoping for summer dresses for Thea for her birthday rather than lots of toys (they have a small-ish maisonette), and so I wanted to check out the girlie clothes there. Yes, I know we have no money.

I bought this sweet little set. The shop we went to didn't have a very big selection, but OH how fun it was to browse with purpose the GIRLIE clothes!!! :) Yay for having a niece! Hehe!

Oh, I forgot to write about the shopping trip when it happened! I meant to write an entry about it. I took Arthur out on his own for some quality time and to buy him a sunhat, some T-shirts, and a couple of pairs of shorts. We did get the shorts and the T-shirts, but they didn't have any hats in stock in his size (sold out quickly with the hot weather!). Arthur was very excited about it! We drove to a shopping complex that we haven't been to before, because there was a bigger Next there than our local one. It was HUGE. It reminded me of the big retail lots in the States with masses of parking - a big sprawling lot with the (huge) shops in a big horse-shoe shape, and parking in the middle of the horse-shoe, sort of. A pavement wrapped around the car park area, running around the horse-shoe of shops. We parked right at one end of the horse-shoe because that's where Next was. But, when they didn't have any hats, we set off hand-in-hand to look in the other shops.

Now, Arthur is one for darting about manically in shops and not doing as he's told. *sigh* It's an ongoing issue, and something we're really trying to fix at the moment. He climbs behind displays and disappears 0.5 seconds after I finally clap eyes on him, etc. He moves about soooo fast. I had a talk with him in the car about getting lost, and what to do if he does get lost, and who to talk to and who NOT to talk to, etc. He didn't get lost. In Next, he bounded all over the shop, but stayed in the children's area thankfully. He just would not mind me at all. He DID come over if I asked him to, but not the first time I asked, and he wouldn't stay. So, he had already been a monkey in Next. I talked to him about that as we left, and when we got into another shop, which was waaaaaay bigger and open-plan with a ton of mobile racks of clothing everywhere, I told him he was to stay by my side. He shot off within seconds of walking into the shop, and would NOT do as he was told. I was constantly saying, "Come here!", or "Come here NOW!" or "Do as you're told!" in not-too-quiet a tone due to him not hearing me over the distance he'd run otherwise. I hate that! I hate being in a shop with parents doing that! I hate being the one doing it! He bounced around the place with a permanent massive grin on his face. He came to me sometimes, and sometimes not. In the end I just told him if he did not stay by my side, we would go home and NOT buy a hat for him (I couldn't see any children's hats in there anyway, by then). He did not like this so he came over and walked about 5 paces by my side, before suddenly sprinting off ahead of me again.

Soooo, I took his hand and said we were going home, and that was that.

And then. The Tantrum began. Oh how I long for the joyful easy days of the Terrible Twos! ;) Three has been much worse in so many ways. I think Terrible Twos is a myth. It ISN'T easy, but it's easier than three, in my experience so far!

The Tantrum was about the worst one that Arthur has thrown yet. Except that one over macaroni cheese. And he's twice that age now! He went weak at the knees, you know the one? He lay on his back on the floor, me still holding his hand, and switched his voice to "Amplified Whiney". He would not get up! I picked him up under the arms to carry him out of the shop, and he turned into a fireman's pole with arms up above his head. He's so big and heavy now, and his limbs are so long and boyish! It's hard to deal with physical tantrums out of the house. It has been ages (over a year??) since I had one to deal with like this, so it's not usual for Arthur really. But ohhh, I hauled his butt out of the shop with people goggling at us with open mouths (WHY do they have to do that?!) as they passed us going in. Once he was out the door, I stood him on the pavement and squatted down to talk to him on his level. I was NOT happy with him, and he heard about it!

He did listen but when I said we WERE going back to the car, he wailed anew about the fact that we were leaving without the new hat that we'd set out to buy. I knew I had to stick firm to what I'd said because, consistency people! But my heart sank because we were SUCH a long way from the car! We had walked right to the top of the horse-shoe shape and it really was a massive complex. We would have to walk back past all those shops and cars, in front of all those people, on a nice open-plan shopping complex! I knew he would be unlikely to behave better on the way, once he was that wound up. Urgh!

He screeched and yelled and cried and wailed, and had no ability to move below the waist, etc, and refused to stand up and walk. I somehow managed to stay calm and just wait holding his hand till he got the picture that I wasn't going anywhere and I wasn't backing down. I did not want to discipline him in public. I told him he could walk or be carried, but we were going back to the car one way or the other. People just STARED. Again, WHY do they have to do that?! Surely they know it does not help, and isn't very nice besides?! Not one sympathetic smile or look, nothing! Not even from women with kids! Just cold condemning stares. Tsk. It really didn't help me feel any better.

I carried Arthur a few yards and then thought better of it - it wasn't a nice mutually accepted carry! I just grasped him round his torso and walked, and he is so big! It wasn't easy.

About halfway back to the car, he notched up that tantrum to a force 5, and lay on the floor flinging his limbs about and SCREAMING angrily at me! Think nails on blackboards and distorted sounds of pneumatic drills too close to your ears. He was also sobbing and crying and had tooootally lost it (long ago!). Arthur really doesn't do this much at all - at home sometimes, but still not often to this degree! It was awful! People stopped in shop doorways to watch us pass, and stared from benches and cars. Urrrgh!

In the end I think I told him that I would discipline him when we got to the car if he did not get up and walk with me RIGHT NOW. He stayed flailing about and screaming on the floor, and I just got that surge of mama-strength (I know you guys know what I'm talking about, hehe!) and picked him up and put him under my right arm, and stomped off to the car with him like a plank (well, a writhing plank) under my arm - how thankful I am for child-bearing hips, hehe! That good old hip supported all his weight! With the mama strength also came the I-don't-care-what-anybody-thinks thing, which also helped looooads.

Back at the car (ours is big enough to stand inside and talk things out!), he did get disciplined (smacked, in case anyone thinks I'm being a bit vague with the use of the word "discipline"). Then we talked about it long and good. What reeeeeally helped me to let go of the whole thing, was when I talked to Arthur about forgiveness and what it means. When I could see he understood what I was talking about, I told him that this whole thing was forgotten, that I forgave him and I loved him, and I would not remember it again. Daddy would not be cross with him when we got home because Mummy has forgiven him, and now I won't be cross with him when I think about it any more. That was as freeing for ME as it was for Arthur, I think. I should put that part of our discipline process into practise more often. I sometimes forget.

Then I changed the subject and talked excitedly with him about his new T-shirts, and he was red-faced and a little sobby, but I could really see the relief in his face, and our journey home was happy and trauma-free, thankfully!

But I hope not to have to deal with too many more tantrums like that one again!

I was going to write about more stuff, but Neil went to the Christian Resources Exhibition today (that's why he was out), looking for job ideas and browsing seminars, and he came home with a bag full of "mystery" stuff that he's picked up as he went round the place. I am so nosey and really want to rifle through that bag! I forgot to ask him about the stuff in it before he went to bed, and I guess he got too side-tracked to show me. But I saw the corner of a magazine poking out of it, so I took a peek, and it's Above Rubies!!! I was so excited when I saw it! I don't know if he picked it up because he thought of me and knew I would love to read it, or if he just got handed it somewhere - I'll have to ask him. If he picked it up just for me, I just LOVE that man! I love him anyways though :) So, since I started this entry, I went and found the Above Rubies magazine and nowwwww it's embarrassingly late because I've read article after article and thoroughly enjoyed myself and completely lost track of the time! So I must stop and go to bed. But I will post photos asap. I have so many backing up! I took at least 20 today, and many to post before those.

Back soon! :)

Spring! Lots of photos!

Thanks so much for the comments on my last entry (again!). Phew, I am so glad there was no debate! :)

I’m here again (!!) to write that it’s SPRING at last!!! We went to the park today for a picnic, and the weather was gorrrrgeous! So much different to the last time we went to the park for a picnic! ;) See the difference a couple of weeks has made here!...

The boys in late April (yes, they REALLY did need the winter hats, wellies, and FULL waterproof gear to go for a walk! It was freezing cold, windy and pouring with rain all the time!):

And today, in early May, just 2 or 3 weeks later (80 degrees today folks, EIGHTY!! :) )...

We had such a nice time! We ate right away and the breeze was balmy and gentle, and the sun hot, but not hot enough for me to start moaning about it (this will begin before the month is out, sadly, hehe!), and the park looked soooooo beautiful, all green and fresh and new. The air smelled incredible. *sigh* We ate a nice picnic lunch, the boys roamed about (with their muslin bibs still on, lol!) and Nathan took a half hour nap in the pushchair. We took lots of photos! Here they all are:

Matthew wandering off halfway through lunch, bib and reins hanging, and hat on skewy as he put it on himself before setting off, hehe!

Nathan waking up from his nap (that’s why he looks kind of grumpy, although he wasn’t!):

Reading the warning label, hehe! And being very happy after a nice little snooze!...

“Air-baaaaay!” (aeroplane)

And YAY, another photo of me with my three sweet little boys! Again, not the perfect photo, because by then, Nathan had finished being happy and become HUNGRY. And all this photo-snapping was not getting his tummy filled! We went home after that – it was getting to Matthew’s nap time as well. But we had such a nice time!

It’s so late!!! Tomorrow it will be the same weather. I am taking Nathan to where I lived with my parents from age 5 to when I got married. The next door neighbours were there that whole time and we knew them well. They are getting elderly now. They have always countersigned for our passport applications, and I am ALMOST THERE on getting passports for Nathan and Matthew (and renewing Neil’s) – I am determined that we’ll visit my parents in France this summer (yay!)!! So I am going to visit them and get all the papers and photos countersigned! Then I can POST the applications, and phew it will be done! When they arrive in a few weeks, we can book (lovely parents paying for us to visit them!) and GO!!! Wheeee! My old neighbours have met Arthur and Matthew (I took them to visit the day I found out that Nathan was a boy in there!), but have never met Nathan, so I will take him to meet them! Fun! :)

I have more photos yet, but I know you are all swamped with them this entry, hehe! Next time...

A Christian in debt (and a few boy quotes!)

Deborah, thanks for your comment. I did not take it as an attack, don’t worry! :) I’m grateful for you putting your point of view across about debt, because I was sort of asking that question (are we acting out of line with God’s Word?) last entry.

As far as our debt and being Christians goes, we are taking it seriously. Now, it probably doesn’t look like we’re taking it seriously ENOUGH, given that Neil is not stacking shelves as I type this at 11pm. But we are not disregarding it, and we know it is something that God would have us fix because it’s not how it should be. We know our financial situation is NOT right before God. He knows it too, because we are constantly talking with him about it. God also knows our willing hearts, and our genuine remorse at having got ourselves into this situation. We have a wonderful book (“How to debt-proof your marriage” by Mary Hunt – it’s a Christian book, as in, referring to God a lot and our responsibility in terms of what the Bible says) which we bought last year. It contains basically everything we need to get out of debt – well, our debt repayment plan and financial management plan is coming from that book. We can’t put it into practise without an income, so we haven’t been able to yet. We did not expect to be waiting 6 months before starting to put it into practise though! Neil is going to attend a Christian seminar on debt and financial management this month (hopefully) – one of our friends at church has a free ticket to a big exhibition with lots of great seminars, and Neil is going to the exhibition just to attend that seminar.

We have been considering selling our home to repay all our debts in one sweep. Actually, we’ve been planning to do that for a year at least – to factor our debt into the price we can pay for our next home and thus do away with it. It means we can’t afford a THING other than a flat, so we’ve had to consider moving way out of London to somewhere cheaper. We WILL repay our debt as soon as we can, preferably in a big lump, and then put our debt prevention plan into action so we don’t get into that place ever again. Right now we’re wondering about selling and then renting (to repay the debt, and have a big lump of money in the bank to gain interest for a while. The housing market looks primed to drop like a stone, so the sooner we can sell, the better. Then (HOPEFULLY!) buy again in a while when prices are cheaper. Or something. BUT yet again, we can’t do that without an income.

The income we need to do these things is a good one, I mean, a normal wage like Neil was earning before, rather than the pittance that is paid to shelf-stackers or part-time shop assistants! Without it we can’t afford to pay rent on a home big enough for our family. We also can’t get a mortgage if we decide not to rent, without a good wage.

We have really weighed up the whole idea of Neil just getting SOME money, no matter how little, to help us and to help our debt situation. I think God would have us repay our debt as soon as we can. I know any little funds coming in would help prevent us getting further into debt, BUT my goodness, our debt is so huge, and our outgoings big enough also, that a tiny temporary income will barely dent our outgoings, let alone cover them and allow us to then start repaying our debt! But I suppose any that he DOES earn will be money that we’re not adding to the debt problem – there’s that theory that every little bit counts and is better than nothing. Which is true, of course!

We had a bigger picture to look at, though. We wanted to consider the needs of our family as well. Neil’s first 3 months off work was the last trimester of my pregnancy. I remember within a week or two of him being out of work, I was having to go in to hospital a couple of times to be monitored for shortness of breath and a racing pulse (ALL the time, even resting!), and they were concerned about a possible pulmonary embolism (but really it was just me being pregnant – I seem to be breathless and “racey” from fairly early on!). And Neil said to me how it brought it clear to him how valuable it was right now for him to be out of work, for our family’s sake, for my sake, for the sake of my health while pregnant, etc. We saw the rest of his time out of work in a similar light. I went and had a baby 5 weeks early, and then of course we had the difficult adjustment that is Adding A New Family Member, and we both praise God continually for how thankful we are that he has allowed Neil to be around all the time for so long around that event. It has been good for all of us, not just “nice”, but having a massive impact on how each of the four of us adjusted to Nathan’s arrival. The boys had plenty of attention during their adjustment, Neil got to spend time with his children (and bond with Nathan!), and the benefits for me don’t even need explaining! During that time we often talked and weighed up the benefits of Neil getting a tiny bit of money from a job that would take him out of the home for many hours each day, against the huge benefits we were getting as a family from his presence at home right now. We prayed about it also. During the whole time he has actively continued searching for jobs, and interviewing for some as well. I think it would be a different thing altogether if we were this much in debt and just determined to take a “time out” for 6 months for our own benefit, refusing to look for jobs till that time was up or something! Neil’s job searching has always been prayerfully considered and we pray about it frequently.

Thanks for the link to the article on what the Bible says about debt. Unfortunately it didn’t work, but I went to the homepage and searched for it there. I think it must have been this article. I have to say, I found it really rather harsh! By halfway through it, I was having to focus on keeping an open mind, as I really wanted to read it receptively and give an honest opinion on it! There were 12 points in the closing summary, and in all honesty, I had to stop reading after point 10. It’s not that I didn’t agree with it (though I didn’t agree with all of it), but it was so HARSH and judgementally put. And nowhere in the whole thing did I catch even a glimpse of God’s grace. Which always is a huge alarm bell for me. Once point 10 basically implied that I should be excluded from church for not repaying my debt, I was so offended that I stopped reading it! Where’s God’s grace in that?! Even if I’ve misinterpreted the writing and it’s not about ME, I am still angered by that point because I so strongly disagree that anyone should be excluded from their church because of a struggle in their personal life (even a huge-o SIN in their personal life). The church should reflect Christ and be merciful and overflowing with compassion and grace, and reach out to meet that afflicted person’s needs. Point 10 does NOT reflect the heart of God. I would go so far as to say it goes AGAINST the heart of God. Which bugs me.

I was interested to read it as far as I did though! I did some more research online and read the Bible to find the referenced verses, etc. An article that is basically in line with my beliefs on the matter is this one, if you are interested. Both articles are based on the same Bible verse, funnily enough – Romans 13:8 “Owe no man any thing, but to love one another: for he that loveth another hath fulfilled the law.” I agree with it in that I personally do not believe that it is a SIN to be in debt. The context makes that variable, but yeah, the article pretty much explains how I view it.

I realise that by posting a diary entry that ONLY talks about something controversial (like religious opinion!) I am basically asking for a debate to be opened, and I hate debates so very much! So I’m really hoping that it will not lead to one! I just wanted to respond to Deborah’s question and got a bit long-winded about it (me?! Long-winded?! Never! ;) )

So to attempt to dispel any debatey feelings stirred up in anyone reading this (and to awaken anyone who has fallen asleep from boredom at the subject matter thus far, since there are likely many who would be bored by it!), I will close with a few recent random quotes from my boys (all four of them!):

Arthur: (Neil walking around in just shorts) “Daddy, are you getting breasties?”
Neil: (whilst I wet my own shorts) “No!”
Arthur: “Well.... I think you might be.... You might need to get a bra like Mummy’s soon...”

Neil: (after sitting at the computer in a hot room for a while, then seeing his flushed face in the mirror – in all seriousness folks, he really meant this!) “It could be radiation burns from the computer!”

Matthew says “cwang” for “thank you”. It’s the sweetest thing! He holds the thing he’s been given high in the air as he walks away with it, and cries out cheerfully, “Cwaaaang!” as he goes :) Today he and Arthur were playing cars and Matthew did not want to share the game. He was being super grumpy and screeching and flinging himself dramatically onto the sofa, etc. Arthur came and gave him a car, and I said “Oh wasn’t that nice of Arthur to give you a car – thank you, Arthur! Can you say thank you to Arthur for the car, Matthew?” Matthew sat in a hunched over sulk with the grumpiest expression on his face. He grumpily took the car from Arthur, and after a pause he muttered “Cwang” in a deep grumpy voice, hehe! I know that’s not FUNNY because yeah we need to work on that or something, but it really tickled me at the time! He was so adolescent for a 22-month-old, hehe!

Nathan: “How doin’?” hehehe! ;) I said, “I’m fine thank you! How are you?!” and he gave me the most enormous radiant smile! (besotted with that tiny boy at the moment, seriously)

I was writing a “to do” list the other day. Arthur saw me and asked about it, and then said he would make his own “to do” list. He stood across the room and spoke his list aloud, eyes raised up with head cocked to one side in thoughtful consideration, fingers ready to be “checked off” as he thought of things. His list was as follows:

“Have breakfast.... Go out for a waaalk.... (the drawn out word sounds are how he said them as he made his thoughtful expression, already thinking of the next thing for his list).... Have luuunnnch.... Play with cars.... Be naughtyyyy.... Be disciplined.... Watch Brum.... And have family meal! There’s my list!” hehe! :) He often says the thing he’s being disciplined for was “on his list to do today”, which slightly unnerves me! Surely he’s not actually actively planning his monkeyness in advance, to make sure it gets done that day?!?! Yikes!

Okay, late, must go to bed! Will be back soon with photos! :) Thanks so much for all the comments last entry, I really did appreciate them all!

Boys stats, God provides, and a few photos! :)

Hello, you sweet peoples! :) Thank you for missing me!

Well, it's late (what's new?!) and it has been soooo long since I updated - I'm sorry! My pregnancy diary is now officially closed (waaah!) because Nathan has "come of age" and is now well outside of newborn status! So he joins the merry band of brothers here at arthursmummy! :) I will sooooo be back at that diary though, later this year (even if just to waffle!)!

Neil and I had a tummy bug this week which has knocked us out a bit. Yes, I said TUMMY BUG! So casually, too! Hehe. Nope, I am still petrified of throwing up, but thankfully I did not have to do it with this bug. I did have five days of the other business though, which I will take HANDS DOWN over Neil's double fun in the bathroom with a bowl, ugh. Neil did throw up a fair bit, and I did get scared about that, but I had little boys to look after and explain what the noises in the bathroom were, etc (calmly!), so I survived and it wasn't so scary as I remember it being when other people throw up in my immediate vicinity! Neil's version was quick and nasty, but the tummy aches, exhaustion and lack of appetite lingered like mine did. I got it first THANKFULLY - boy I would have been soooo scared had he thrown up and THEN I started to feel ill myself! I just presumed it was the worst IBS ever for a couple of days and then started to think, "Hmmm..." and then Neil was sick, so yeah. I'm so so so thankful I did not have to be sick! Phew!

Another thing I'm hugely thankful for is that (so far) none of the boys have come down with it. We all eat the same stuff so I'm sure it wasn't food poisoning. We're being careful with handwashing, etc. Counting 3 days from the last yucky symptom, we should be germ-free tomorrow, yay! :) Bennie and Sarah and Thea are coming round tomorrow to see us! Thea will be a year old on the 15th - how crazy is that?! And it's somehow only just over a month until Matthew's SECOND birthday!! Yikes!

Matthew and Nathan have a little mild cold at the moment, but they're doing fine. Arthur is doing great, but he's tired a lot. We started him on some children's vitamins but he hates the taste so we'll try a different brand.

I weighed and measured the older boys a few weeks ago, and Nathan was weighed and measured recently too, so I'll put all those stats here for my own reference:

Arthur at 3 years and 4 months:

Height: 98cm (38.5 inches) - 45th percentile
Weight: 15kg (33lbs) - 40th percentile

Matthew at 21/22 months:

Height: 83cm (32.5 inches) - 20th percentile
Weight: 10.7kg (23.5lbs) - 15th percentile

Nathan at 3 months (for his adjusted age of 2 months which is what he should be, had he arrived on time!):

Length: 59cm (23 inches) - 70th percentile
Weight: 5.95kg (13lbs 2oz) - 75th percentile

I'm amazed that somehow, although they are all on different curves, they are in proportion with height and weight! Arthur has slimmed down so much since his chunksome baby days (he was up in the 90th percentile back then!), and Matthew has actually come up a little from his baby days - his percentiles were always low. I have no idea what Nathan will settle to yet, as it's too early, but he's doing great at the 70th/75th percentile at the moment!

I love that they are all still getting breastmilk. I know that I am increasingly going to look STRANGE to most people, but oh well. I love it, and the boys love it, and really they are ALL still so little. I'm glad to give them such a great start! I honestly can't remember what it's like to NOT breastfeed now, lol! So I'm happy :)

Neil still does not have a job. April 23rd marked 6 months that he has been out of work. Wow! We are still holding fast to God and trusting him for his provision. The more tight things become and the more time goes by, the more we are encountering doubt from others around us. Frustratingly, we're getting quite a bit of it from friends at CHURCH, of all places! It's kind of bothering/upsetting us and we've been talking about it a lot lately, but hey ho. Sometimes we wonder if we should mention how we feel about it to someone at church? I don't know.

Anyway. I haven't got a lot of time to write much tonight, but we are continuing to pray together and I have NO anxiety over the huge debt and lack of income or job on the horizon, etc. None. I KNOW God will provide at exactly the right time, even if it gets scarier than this before that happens. I have a written prayer journal these days (*NEW*!! So excited about my prayer life taking off a bit more again! Yay!), and I wrote this tonight after Neil and I were chatting and praying. Whizzing this off here will be faster than my normal pace of thinking, waffling, and getting off-track! ;)

"Huge urge to pray/wait on God tonight, about WHAT God is leading us to do in our situation - not "which job should Neil get?", but in answer to the unspoken question from a worldly (and, irritatingly, Name-of-our-Church-ly) point of view: "If your situation is so dire (money gone, £30,000 debt, credit card which is our very last source of anything is about to max out, etc) - WHY aren't you being more proactive and putting yourself out for any and EVERY job available, even stacking shelves, just for some form of income?"

I get it in my diary guestbooks, we hear it (implied often) at church, from family and friends (though not all), and anyone random who hears about our situation, it seems.

Is THIS God telling us to do just that? Or a worldly view that we aren't meant to be focusing on right now - surely we should be listening to GOD instead, no matter if his instructions look like folly to the world.

But have we missed something God has told us to do? Is everybody right? And are we acting out of line with the Bible? What HAS God told us to do? Do we really feel that he HASN'T led us to apply for every job under the sun as if our lives depended upon it? We are trying to apply this question and be as honest with ourselves as we know how to be.

So far, we feel that God has not said to go applying willy nilly. But he hasn't said NOT to, either. Is that a given, that we SHOULD apply like crazy? We've been praying all along about which jobs Neil should make himself available for (apply for), rather than praying for God to give the right job and then applying for everything. Maybe we should have? Maybe that would show greater faith?

Often when there are no jobs and things feel a bit desperate, we ask God to speak to us and guide us, show us, ANYTHING (!), to know that there's a direction we should turn in, THIS path to walk down, etc. Something clear and proactive, please Lord! But when we pray and wait, we always just get clear words and pictures and Bible verses that simply tell us to either WAIT, or don't address the job/money situation at all, but instead gently remind us to fix our eyes on Jesus, to look ONLY at God and NOT the world, or simply just to enjoy intimacy with our God - to pour out our love for him and to experience being loved by him."

I guess that sums up where we're at right now. I just trust God. I do want to share something AMAZING that happened to us since I last wrote here, that really does show that our God is real and cares about us, and is so faithful to us!

Since Neil left work, we figured out about a month ago that we had amassed about £15,000 in debt during that time. Roughly. We were just boggling over that rather scary fact, and praying in faith that God would provide (as we have been throughout), when a couple of weeks ago, our next door neighbour came to the front door. I just want to shout God's praises telling this story!! :)

He would like to buy the far end piece of our back garden for storage purposes (he's a gardener). As a piece of land, it's worth about £2,000. He so badly wants it, and he knows that it will knock a chunk off the value of our property. We arranged to get our house valued, and ask advice on the value of that piece of our garden.

End result: Our neighbour suggested that he would like to pay us £15,000 for that piece of our (unused, really) garden. The price was his suggestion, and the estate agent said it was a sensible offer. We had no idea whatsoever what the value of a little piece of our garden was! Our neighbour needs to take down the hedge and probably mess up our (badly done by Neil - sorry love!) lawn, but being a gardener, he would re-do our lawn to compensate for any damage, and put a new fence up (ours just blew down) at no cost to ourselves. The estate agent said it might knock up to £15,000 off the value of the house when it sells, but who knows - it depends on the buyer. He said it may sell for the same as it would have sold for with the garden intact (there's really no knowing), so he recommended taking the neighbour up on his offer! So we will!

God has just provided for us. How random and unlikely is it for us to have no income, amass £15,000 worth of debt due to the no-income, and then a neighbour we rarely converse with strolls round that same week and says, "Hey, I would like to carve off a piece of your garden that you don't use for my own use. Yes it's not worth much but how about I pay you £15,000 for it? I have the funds ready to go in my bank and can start work immediately if you give me the green light."

I love you, O Lord, my strength! Is God not just the most awesome and wonderful Provider? Did I not tell you that he would provide?! I'm so excited!

"Your ways, O God, are holy. What god is so great as our God?" (Psalm 77:13)

Well on that wonderful note, I have to go to bed. It's so late! Nathan just coughed in his sleep and brought me back to reality with a thump, hehe! I probably could have spent the next three hours typing out God's praises! :D

Thank you so much for all the lovely comments after my photos at the park last entry! :) I have lots more photos to post but no time tonight. Oh, go on then - just a few! ;)

Mat-ful of boys :) I love the nutty hysteria of my bigger boys in the second photo (extremely normal sight around here, by the way), and Nathan's face - "What the heck have I got myself into?!" hehehe!

Cold day at the park!

I have things to write about, but absolutely no time tonight! I just wanted to post these photos from our first family outing since Nathan was born! Well, we did have a family outing or two already – we went to Jove’s birthday party, in early March, and we went to my grandparents’ house shortly after that. And we’ve been going to church. But we haven’t been out anywhere, just US. The boys and Neil usually go to the park to burn off energy every morning. But the week before last, Neil decided to take the boys over lunch time instead, to have a picnic. We had had the first vaguely spring-like weather, so we were hopeful! I decided it would be great for the boys if Nathan and I came too! So we all went to the park together in our big 7-seater MPV! :)

Sadly, it was COLD and windy, and threatened to rain from almost the moment we arrived there. The boys had a great time nonetheless, and were completely used to the cold outdoors. Nathan and I, however, were not! Nathan HATED the outing!! Reeeally hated it. He cried and screamed most of the time, and when we finally sat down to eat, it was time for me to breastfeed him so I attempted it. The poor little boy couldn’t take his lunch, because every time the wind blew, no matter which way I tried to position us (it blew from every direction, brrr!) he would do these huge gasps as the wind blew on his face while he tried to feed, and eventually got MIGHTY cross and de-latched to scream and scream about it, while milk spurted down my front/legs/baby boy. Milk, which instantly went freeeezy-cold the moment it was on my bare tummy in that cold cold wind! Brrrrr! I had to take his coat off to feed him as it was too bulky (poor boy!) and then Neil suggested that he take a photo to mark the occasion of our first outing as a little family unit! Hmmm!

So, he got four great photos of me with the boys on the picnic mat. They are NOT great photos! But they are great for my memory Treasure Chest :) Because the perfect picture did not happen, but instead we got these four pictures of me being tired and windswept with a crying baby, a 3-year-old focused on eating rather than the camera, and a monkey toddler intent on escaping the scene! Picture #3 particularly cracks me up, hehe! I feel like I want to use that one as my main diary photo at the top – “Arthur’s Mummy” haha! This is my life now, and it is this frazzled all the time, and I really need to be an octopus (with 3 breasts and lungs for air, obviously) to have enough arms to deal with my little men. But I LOVE it all the same!

It was soooo cold and windy! Matthew ran into some mud right after those photos were taken (a LOT of mud) and we were pretty much ready to pack up and go home. I bundled Nathan up and put him in the tandem pushchair (he’s big enough for it at last, and doesn’t need to recline fully (though it’s better if he does), and he doesn’t appear to need the newborn head supports any more either! Yay!), and he was happier there. Still cold and gaspy with the wind, but not crying any more!

The boys walked and ran and climbed, and Nathan fell asleep in the pushchair as we walked, so it turned into a nice outing after all, if a little COLD!

The boys found a hollow tree stump on the way back to the car :)

We’ll do it again! I just hope the weather warms up SOON! It was still freezing cold and windy today, although we’ve had the odd sunny patch where you can tell the sun is warmer than it used to be. Now if only the cold wind would go away! I can’t wait for spriiiiing! :)

It is hours later than when I started this entry now, as Nathan woke twice, and it’s the middle of the night after nursing him now, so I’ll just post this before shutting down the laptop. Okay, make that THREE times now. Something is up with that boy today (and yesterday, for that matter) but I can’t figure out what (it’s not the immunisations because they didn’t happen – more on that in my pregnancy journal next time I update there!). Anyway. I’m going to bed! But not before I post this one last thing – Nathan now fits all his 3-6 month clothes pretty well! His adjusted age is 2 months old, so he’s doing great! I found the “onesie” that Lisa sent me for Matthew, amongst other things – the baseball one that I LOVE! So I put Nathan in it, and took his photo. I just wanted to post a photo of him in it, and the comparison photo of Matthew in the same outfit! I just wish I had one of Arthur in it, but never mind!

Here’s Matthew at 7 weeks old, wearing this sweet little onesie (I forgot how dark his newborn hair was, now that he’s so fair!):

And Nathan, at 13 weeks – adjusted age would be 8 weeks, so pretty much where Matthew was in age:

They’re quite similar, aren’t they? But plenty different enough as well. It was one of my favourite photos of Matthew. I wish I had got Nathan to smile and relax a bit more for his one, but never mind! Anyway, I am going to bed! Will write again soon, as I have a ton more photos, and also a couple of little video clips (if I ever get them uploaded!). Thanks so much for the lovely comments on my last entry! :)

Arthur's sayings, and lots of photos of the boys

Urrrghh, just spent TWO HOURS on an entry and then my internet connection cut out (we're having that trouble a lot lately, for some reason) JUST as I tried to post the entry! Thus, bye-bye entry :( It's so annoying because it was late when I started it, and now it's ridiculously late, BUT it was the type of entry where I wrote down some things for my memory's sake. So, I know I'm being idiotic to decide to redo the entry in the middle of the night, but phooey! I don't know when I'll next get chance to write those things down, and I feel sure I'll forget some of them in the mean time. So I'm DOING it! Now. Unless Nathan is wakeful (he's stirring a bit because he just woke and fed for a while - hopefully he's settling back down to sleep).

Thank you so much for the sweet comments on the little video of Arthur that I posted last entry! I'm super fond of that boy, so I really appreciated the comments - reading them really made me smile! Thank you! :)

Okay, so it's the second week of the month, which means all my little boys are about to turn another month old! Arthur will be 3 years and FIVE months old tomorrow, which is almost 3 and a HALF!!! Whaa?!?! Where did half a year go since his birthday?! I can't believe we're almost halfway to his fourth birthday already. Craziness.

Matthew will be 22 months old next week. It's only about 9 weeks until his second birthday!!! I just can't believe it. Nathan is 12 weeks old now, and turns 3 months old this weekend. My little niece, Thea, has her first birthday next month! Babies grow up soooooo fast.

I have a lot of photos to post again, but I also wanted to write down some things that Arthur has been saying, things that I want to keep preserved and not forget. So, just for me really, here are some of them!

Last week he was cutting out lots of pictures of ducks and geese and chickens, etc, from a big fact sheet poster that my Granny gave us (it was free in the paper). He loves cutting things out, and he learns about each one as he cuts them out. Anyway, out of the blue a couple of days later, I asked him how he thought ducks had babies. I know he knows about eggs and ducks laying them, but I just wanted to hear how he explained his view of the process. Anyway, when I asked, "Arthur, how do ducks have babies?", he answered, "Well, Mummy, why don't you whizz away and find out?!" hehe! He got that line from "Big Cook, Little Cook", I should think!

Also, Matthew is really getting into cheeky giggling and whispering with Arthur these days! It's so cute. They are so full of mischief together (slightly unnerving!). Matthew doesn't really "get" a lot of what Arthur whispers to him, but he LOVES copying Arthur. Whatever Arthur is doing, if his eyes are lit up, Matthew is interested and copies everything Arthur does! He especially likes to get involved with anything cheeky, energetic, noisy, or giggly!

A few days ago, Arthur and I made lemon cakes with real lemons, and iced them with lemon juice icing. We decorated the icing with bits of candied peel. It was lots of fun! He is getting much more into baking - he can stay focused on each thing longer (whereas he used to focus for like 0.6 seconds and then randomly grab things like broken egg shells, or something, and fling those in the mix too!). He is breaking eggs for me, mixing, measuring and counting, etc. We sometimes do baking for "school", which is still otherwise mostly crafts and things when we have time to do it.

Anyway, so we made these cakes. I told him that they could have a cake each for pudding, after dinner. So, as dinner came to an end, Nathan woke up and needed soothing. Neil went upstairs to start the bath running (our bath fills SLOWLY! We have to start it before the end of our family meal time in order for the boys to have their bedtime bath early enough!), and I went into the living room briefly to settle Nathan a bit. Matthew and Arthur sat at the table still (I think Matthew was just finishing up his dinner). Arthur STILL barely eats anything I cook (though he finally declares my spaghetti bolognese "yummy and mmm-mmm delicious!!" and eats it all up AND a second helping! So we have that every Monday now, yay!) so he wasn't doing much at the table. The cakes were on the kitchen counter, and Arthur's strap on his booster seat broke a couple of weeks ago, so he can now get down of his own accord. I was rocking Nathan in my arms when I heard a sort of hissing sound from the kitchen. I got nearer to the door and heard the two of them whispering and scheming together, hehe! Their little heads were bent together in secrecy overy Matthew's highchair tray. Arthur was whispering, "Hee hee hee!" and Matthew was replying in a gleeful whisper, "Hee hee hee!" Then Arthur would whisper things I couldn't make out (except for the name, "Mummy" now and again - uh oh!) and Matthew would pause to listen to him and then whisper, "Yeh! Hee hee hee!" It was so cute and funny that I didn't interrupt them for a while, but finally I stood in the doorway and they both looked delighted that they'd been "caught" scheming about something! Arthur lost no time in telling all - "Mummy, the boys have made a naughty plan!! AND, the naughty plan is that Arthur gets down from the table and (hunches shoulders with EXTRA glee) gets a cake for the boys, while Mummy isn't looking!" Their eyes just shone with mischievous delight at this revelation! Hehe! Then Arthur added, "I checked with Mashew, and he agreed!" hehehe! I'm not sure how much (if any!) Matthew understood of this squeakily whispered plan, but he LOVED being part of the mischief with Arthur. He just beamed at me the whole time Arthur was telling this to me, eyes shining with monkeyness! Arthur often refers to himself and Matthew as "the boys" in conversation. Like, "The boys cer'nly (certainly!) were hungry!" when they rapidly polished off their sandwiches after a long walk at the park. Or, "You know, I think these boys are being a bit of a monkey!" hehe! Sometimes he does seem to talk of them as one unit. They are "a monkey" together. I find it sweet how he will say "these boys" referring to himself as one of them! :)

Here are a few photos of Matthew and Arthur playing "Boo!" with a bath towel a week or so ago. Matthew LOVES this game and could play it all day if he had a willing partner! Arthur was actually watching a DVD at the time, but he indulged Matthew very sweetly all the same!

Here are my little boys running around in some garden space at my grandparents' house. How I wish we had a garden with that much space for them! Oh well. One day! And we have a great park nearby so it's not so bad.

I often try to take photos of all three boys together, but you know how easy that is, right?! I figure that if I take millions and millions (!) of photos, I will surely get one or two decent ones at least?! My poor children, hehe! Actually they are often the ones to request that I take pictures of them together, which is helpful! Matthew asks by getting in position and then saying, "teeez!" (cheese!) and giving me a pointed look! I never set up the scene nicely or anything though. If I see two of them next to each other being relatively motionless, I frantically grab the third and put him in the shot, and start snapping away, hehe! Matthew thinks the job is done after 3 seconds, and immediately gets up again or moves away. It's so frustrating! It takes me like FOUR seconds at best to get the camera focused and press the button! So he's blurry in a lot of shots. Here are a few of our recent photo sessions!

Hmmm, that went well, didn't it?! ;) Here's another try:

Okay, time to end that session then! ;) I did persevere, but I ended up with a lot of pictures of a cream fleece blanket with the occasional head or limb at the edge. And a slightly confused-looking baby in the middle, hehe!

One morning, Matthew lay down on the sofa and said his oft-heard line, "Die dow, Ninny!" Since Ninny (that little nickname seems to be sticking a bit, but I am not intending to use it much if I can help it!) was not cross and crying, we lay him down with Matthew (staying close!) and took a photo. Arthur got upset that he wasn't in the picture, and since there was no room for the three of them to lie in a row (which he really likes!), Neil put him in the shot where there was "space"! :)

Sweet little boys! :)

Oh! I just remembered another thing that Arthur said recently. He was sitting resting against me on the armchair, and looking around the room. Then he said, "There are lots of boys here, aren't there?!" I said yes, and asked him if there were too many boys for him. He looked at me like I was nuts! And he said, "Nooo!" I asked him if he would like more little boys around the place, and he said, "Yes!" I asked if he would like some little girls as well, and he said, "Wellll, the little girls would have to live at the girls' house, and the boys would live here at the boys' house." hehe! I told him that ALL our babies will live in the same house, here, boys or girls, because we are all a family together. I said that God may yet give us more babies, and he said, "I hope God gives us lots of babies...." I told him I hoped so too! :)

Then a couple of days later, Arthur and I were browsing through the local property paper. He stopped at a picture of a huge house - actually it was a newly built building made to LOOK like a massive house, but it was 9 purpose-built flats. Anyway, Arthur pointed at it and said in a very serious, thoughtful tone, "I think we might need to buy that house." I asked him why, and he said, "Because God might give us lots of babies - " and then he broke off suddenly and glanced sharply at my tummy. He said (somewhat suspiciously, hehe!), "Are there lots of babies growing in your tummy right now?" And I told him that as far as I knew there were not any babies in my tummy yet! He resumed his sentence, "God might give us lots of babies, and I think we'll need to buy this big house, just in case...." :)

Here are a few photos of Arthur loving his baby brother. The feeling is mutual, as you can see! :)

Today, Arthur hurt his foot as he was running in the living room. He ran over a toy fire engine and grazed the side of his foot a little bit. It bled a couple of tiny spots, and that was all, but Arthur had a huge freak-out panic about it. He does seem to have anxious tendencies, and I soooo hope he isn't going to have issues with things like that. He did seem to make WAY more of it than he needed to though. He moaned for ages about how he couldn't walk! And he did a lot of forced shaking while I was consoling him. So, some of it isn't blind panic, just allowing himself to really "make the most" of the situation, if you know what I mean! But he was scared about the bleeding.

Tonight at bedtime, he got all upset about it again because he was convinced his foot was still bleeding. I assured him that it wasn't, and it turned out quite an educational experience (!) because I taught him about clotting and scabs, and how God made our bodies able to mend themselves when they get hurt (and isn't that amazing?!!!), etc. He continued to whimper about it a bit, so I suggested he come out of bed for a cuddle (I was sitting in front of Matthew's bed, as he needs preventing from getting out till he calms down for sleep, otherwise he gets out every 4.5 seconds and jumps all over the room emptying drawers, etc!). He came down for a cuddle and I asked if he would like to pray about his foot. He said yes, and then said urgently, "I wish Jesus was really here!" I told him that Jesus IS really here, even though we can't actually see him. He said, "But I can't see him, so he CAN'T really be here!" It's so hard to explain things like this to little ones! I'm not even sure if it's possible for him to grasp the concept yet. But I'll persevere all the same. I just told him again that Jesus is always here if we need him. Arthur did a big sigh and said, "I reeeeally NEED Jesus!"

I know it was just about wanting a quick fix for his little foot, and he really doesn't have any idea yet about the BIG need for Jesus in our lives, but OH how my heart soared hearing those words come from my own child's lips! How I hope and pray he'll continue to think and say and PRAY those words, in a bigger context, as the years go by, throughout his life. When all else is stripped away, that's all it boils down to for me, and I find myself with nothing I can pray except, "I really NEED you, Jesus!"

I am a bit anxious about the day when Arthur asks Jesus to heal him of something and he doesn't get healed. I don't know what to say to him when he asks me, "Why didn't he heal me?!" Because I don't know the answer, and I am afraid of handling it the wrong way and rocking the boat where his interest or faith in God is just beginning to emerge.

All I can tell him is that God IS real, and he DOES heal today. I am so thankful that I can be a living example of this to my kids, and I can tell them about how God healed me of M.E. quite miraculously. You don't get better overnight from M.E! I had been housebound with it for two years leading up to that evening when I was healed. And I've been healthy since. I feel slightly squeamish linking to such an old entry from my VERY old diary! It's been a long time since I acknowledged the existance of that diary here! It's so long ago. It's before I had children. It documented SUCH a very difficult time for me. Some of my readers here have followed me allll the way from back then, but most don't know about that diary. So I feel weirdly self-conscious about opening up that can of worms to people who didn't know about that part of my life! But anyway. It's amazing what God did! So I don't want to hide it away :) God DOES DOES DOES heal today. He IS real. I know him, like I know Neil or Arthur. He touched me and healed me. I don't pray to the air, I talk to someone I have a relationship with. I love my God!!

Okay, I'm sure there was something else I missed from my original post, but it's sooooooo late (I know, I'm daft), and I must go to bed. Nathan is sleeping pretty well tonight, but he's due to wake again soon, so I'll get myself into bed before that happens and be ready to nurse him when he wakes :) I have more photos and plenty of new ones on the camera too, but I'll get to those when I can. I'll be back soon!