Nathan's 1st Birthday! Photo heavy (be warned!)

Thank you so much for all the sweet birthday wishes for Nathan! :) I can't believe my littlest man is ONE already! Wow.

His birthday went really really well, and I'm so happy with the whole day! :) I have a million million photos, but I will try to be selective for this blog post, hehe! My last post was the first time I ever used the Blogger thingy for posting a photo (usually I just use html and post directly from my Photobucket account), and I've noticed the photos come out a lot smaller at a glance than I'm used to, BUT you can click on them and see them full-size (which is BIGGER than I'm used to!). And it saves me the tiresome step of uploading everything to Photobucket and editing it a bit there too, as I can just upload to Blogger from my laptop directly, hooray!

So, Nathan's birthday! I MUSTN'T be too long-winded, because it's after midnight and I'm already craaazy to be updating this late. I'm doomed, though, because long-winded is my middle name. Oh well! :)

Nathan woke up at about quarter to six in the morning on his birthday, fussing. This isn't unusual for Nathan, and by that time of the morning he's always in bed next to me, so it's fairly easy to resettle him. I usually only half come out of sleep, offer him the breast and pat him on the bottom if he's still awake after that, and basically doze right back off. But that morning I checked the clock. It was still dark outside so I had no idea whether it was nearly morning or the middle of the night. I LOVE that he woke at that time, because he was born at 5.42am, so I like to think that he woke up at the very time he was born a year ago! :) He went back to sleep after a breastfeed and me patting his bottom a bit. Then he woke for the day at 6.50am, I think.

He had a good day! He was smiley and happy the WHOLE day long. He also suddenly started being excited about walking a lot more than he has so far. Since he took his first few steps, he has been taking just a few at a time, but not really seeming overly interested in doing so. He has done it maybe once a day or once every other day, but has preferred to crawl. Suddenly on his birthday he was setting out frequently, huge open-mouthed beaming smile on his face and arms all tensely outstretched, excited about his new skill! It was sooooo cute. He was doing it a new way too, than all the times before. Until yesterday, he was taking big-ish steps and trying to stride sometimes, and falling pretty quickly. Yesterday he started taking these tiny little birdie steps, so very sweet to watch - just a few inches at a time, like one of his little feet ahead in length. He was much more controlled doing it that way, and took more like 6 or 7 steps at a time consistently. Today he has done more than than, and walked 12 or 13 steps to Neil (with great excitement) when Neil walked in the door from work this evening! :) He has been walking ALL day, and trying to set up opportunities to practise it. On his birthday he would walk to me from Neil, and then do an excited sort of gaspy inhale, and then turn right around and walk back to Neil, do the same excited squeally gasp, and walk back to me again! He suddenly loved walking on his birthday! :)

He had a morning nap (hence looking a bit sleepy in some of the photos!), and as soon as he got up we brought his presents out. Arthur and Matthew were sooooooo eager and excited for him to start doing "birthday things", and were bugging us all the time to let Nathan start opening his presents! Arthur even asked if we could open Nathan's presents just after he had gone down for his nap, haha! ;) He also commented on how Nathan didn't have many presents! I told him a little baby doesn't NEED many, and we already have a lot of baby toys.

Nathan LOVED his rainmaker shaker, and his rattled drum soooo much! Here are some of the 18 photos (!!) of The Present-Opening! ;)

Getting ready to open the first present....



Nathan just wanted to shake the rainmaker in it's wrapping paper, he was not interested in tearing it off at all! I think he preferred it shiny and holographic, hehe!



Discovering his rainmaker shaker:



He just banged it and shook it for aaaaages, and frustrated the boys because they could barely wait for him to move onto the next present! ;)



Matthew helping Nathan to open his rattle drum (Matthew soooo would have loved this present all for himself!):



Nathan's instant reaction to the drum:



Soooo happy to use a beater on his new drum after I showed him what it was for:



Banging away happily!...



Bit of a mixed photo of my three boys - Nathan finding out that sticking a drum stick into your mouth too far is not so fun; Matthew being fed-up that he isn't allowed to play with the drum right at that moment; and Arthur being excited about BIRTHDAY TIME at laaaaaaaast, hehe! He is big on birthdays! ;)



Last present, a 'Wheels on the Bus' board book from Nana:



Me reading the new book to Nathan:



My sweet little birthday boy after lunch (hence removal of lunch-covered top, haha!):



Sweet little pie, with sole toothie visible - the next-door neighbour to that tooth STILL hasn't come through, I can't believe it! It has been sooooo close for like a week! Judging by the drool in the photo, it should be here soon! ;)



The weather on Nathan's birthday (he LOVED standing at the window and watching it!):



A bit later on I found him intently browsing his new book from Nana! He really seems to like it, which is great! :)



Mid-afternoon, after his afternoon nap, we brought out the birthday cake (another thing the older boys (Arthur in particular!) had been begging for all day! They hadn't seen it yet as we kept it hidden). Here's a little video (hope it works - first time trying it at Blogger!) of the singing and candle-blowing bit :)



Then we ate cake! :) I gave Nathan a slice and didn't expect him to do much with it, but he surpassed his brothers on their first birthdays (and our expectations!) and practically inhaled it! He seemed to really enjoy it, and at it ALL up! Once he finished, he actually crawled away from his plate towards Matthew's, since Matthew had really not touched his cake much at all, and ate a good handful or so of that before we managed to stop him! He tried the sugarpaste cow, which I'm not that crazy about, but he spat that out so that's okay! ;)









We cleaned up, and then the boys played. Neil did lots of rough and tumble and tickle-time with the boys, which they loved! I will have to post some photos of Matthew and Arthur having their time with Daddy next time I post! I got some sweet photos! :) But here's a little video clip of Nathan having some time with Daddy. He usually belly laughs like crazy when he's being "eaten" or tickled, but he was somewhat distracted by being allowed to hold Daddy's glasses!!



We had shepherd's pie for dinner, and he was happy as anything and ate a good portion!



After dinner he played a bit, and then we ran a bath, he climbed the stairs all by himself for the first time:



And had a bath, where he played with his new bath squirters that Grandma gave him for Christmas (we only opened those presents a couple of days ago, so we saved the squirters for Nathan's birthday bath!):



All clean and dressed for bed! :)



This is one of my favourite photos from the day! Arthur came over and gave him such a sweet cuddle. He really loves his little brothers, and he can be so so sweet with them. They adore him too!



Phew, I think that's it! Sorry it's so photo-heavy, I hope it didn't cause anyone trouble to view this post! Hope you enjoyed all the pics and videos, it took forever to do this post after all! But it was worth it. I wish I had made such an effort to document Arthur's last TWO birthdays like this, because it's lovely to look back on. I will have to go back and do that when I get the chance! :)

Nathan is nearly one!

Tomorrow is Nathan's first birthday! I just can't believe it! A year ago today (well, early this morning actually), I woke up at 6am in a wet bed, at 35 weeks pregnant, thinking, "Uh-ohhhh..." :) It took us forever to gather things together and arrange for my brother to come over to watch the boys, and we didn't get to the hospital till after 3pm! They weren't too pleased with me, as I'd been leaking fluid all that time, still not quite sure though if it really was my waters having broken (it's never happened to me before till late in labour) or just something.... more embarrassing! Or something. Of course, it WAS my waters, and they induced me that afternoon right after they had me cough a lot whilst watching my cervix (!) to be sure my waters had broken. I was Group B Strep positive so I had IV antibiotics as well.

It's sooo strange to me, for some reason, sitting here tonight, to think that this time exactly one year ago I was in the hospital in labour. Easy-going labour, mind you. He wasn't born till 5.42 the next morning, and only the last 30-60 minutes of that was unbearable! I just can't picture it. Well, I can, but I can't relate to it now. It seems like I was a different person, like it was a lifetime ago somehow.

I'm feeling strangely emotional about it tonight - about Nathan being a year old tomorrow. Which feels weird to me. I don't think I have been emotional about my other babies turning one. This feels like a slightly unhappy emotional, not a happy thing, and I'm not sure why. BUT, I am also pregnant and hormonal, and happen to have a horrible headache, so maybe that's all it is?! I wonder if it has anything to do with Nathan's early arrival? I don't know if it even possibly can, but anyway. I can't quite understand why I feel like I have loved Nathan more intensely than even my other little ones, since he was born. I love all my children just as much as each other, but the intensity is different this time. When he was born I just was OVERWHELMED with love and adoration for that tiny, beautiful boy. I know that's a very normal way for a mother who has just given birth to feel, but I was just busy being happy and processing what had just happened, with my other two births! With Nathan, I couldn't turn around fast enough (I gave birth on my knees with my back to the midwives) to see him, it was like a frantic sense of panic that I couldn't see him immediately. When I saw him, I can't describe my feelings at that point, I just can't begin to. I was overwhelmed. I had two other beautiful little ones, but at that moment, Nathan was THE most beautiful newborn baby I had ever seen in my life. Ever. All I could do was breathlessly (and loudly!) proclaim to everyone in the room how BEAUTIFUL he was, over and over. I didn't do anything like that with my other births, so it surprised me.

To this day, I ADORE him. I mean, pinch-myself adore him. He's the happiest, smiliest, most easy-going little love. He wrinkles up his nose when he's smiling really big. He has such a precious little cleft in his chin, and the same little dip in his bottom lip too. This means that when he cries, his lips come together in a sort of on-it's-side figure eight. He also has the sweetest little lip pout/wobble thing going on the moment before he cries about something that's upset him. When he was tiny, his cry actually sounded like "wah-wah" because of his cute little lip shape! :) He was my first baby to sound like that, and it made me want to kiss his little lips while he was crying, instead of tending to his needs, haha! ;)

He loves his big brothers completely. He beams at them and reaches for them, just the same as he does for Neil and I. I love it when he reaches for me, those times when he's sad or hurting and only Mummy will do. That's me. That's ME! I cannot believe I have been so blessed as to be Nathan's mummy. And not only that, but Matthew's mummy, and Arthur's mummy. AND Babydot's mummy! I'm just overwhelmed sometimes, at all that God has given to me.

Well, tomorrow will be a low-key day. Neil has taken the day off work so we can have a special family day, but we don't have much of anything planned. Nathan is happiest just being around us all in familiar settings, so we'll just hang out at home and play. If the weather is okay, we might go to the park at some point because he likes the outdoors too, so long as it doesn't get too cold or tedious for him! And the boys can burn off some energy at the same time. I think the forecast said RAIN tomorrow though, and it's cold, so we'll see.

I made Nathan a birthday cake today, with a very basic farm theme - a round vanilla sponge cake, sandwiched with butter cream. I coloured some butter cream green (pastel green, not bright green, because I hate using food colourings for little ones!) and covered the cake in that, and used the boys' duplo fences (washed!) to link together in a circle on top of the cake. Neil and I made some sugarpaste animals this evening. I wanted to make pigs, sheep and cows, but quickly discovered I'm not talented enough to pull that off! Neil came to help me, and I managed to turn out some quite good piggies, so I worked on those. My sheep looked like a polar bear, so Neil made a much better one! ;) He made cows too, but they look a bit like something is the wrong way round, colour wise! Otherwise okay! :) And there's one candle in the middle. I'll be sure to post photos when I write about his birthday!

[edited to add: Okay so I took a photo of the cake, so that I didn't forget on the day (so far I think I have done that 2 out of 2 times, hehe!), and uploaded it, so here is Nathan's cake for tomorrow:]



He doesn't have many presents. I feel bothered about that, but everyone keeps saying he's only ONE, and he won't mind a bit about presents. I just wanted him to have some fun things to open for his birthday, but I was annoyingly disorganised (Christmas and New Year having lulled me into a false sense of security, then SUDDENLY it was almost Nathan's birthday). My mum bought some things for him online (she lives in France) and had them delivered here, but one of them doesn't work even when we change the batteries :( We got Nathan some really sweet board books from the Christian bookshop, and also a drum - we don't have one of those yet, aaaargh! He loves banging things right now, and beams from ear to ear if he finds something to bang that sounds good and "drummy". This drum is quite flat and has a clear top, through which you can see coloured beads inside. They rattle about and jump when you bang the drum. We also got him a baby rainmaker. We have one but the beads inside are tiny and have gone all static, so they stick to the container, but he loves it anyway. And that's all! The books did not turn up in the post, which I'm annoyed about, but I'm really hoping they'll arrive tomorrow morning. I wrapped the things he DOES have so far, tonight, and there are just 4 really small presents, including what my mum sent. I SHOULDN'T have any sort of a problem with that! But for some reason I do feel a bit sad about it :(

Anyway! Hopefully he'll be a happy boy tomorrow, and the others won't need SUCH a crazy crazy amount of discipline as they seem to need all the time lately. Nathan might get his second tooth on his birthday! It's soooooo close to cutting through the gum today, we thought it was through, but it's not QUITE. It's his second top middle tooth. I have no idea where his bottom teeth are!

I just finished uploading and editing all the Christmas photos, at LAST! It's soooo out of date now, but oh well. I wanted to post them before Nathan's birthday, because after that they're kind of not interesting or relevant any more, but I haven't managed it, so never mind. I will post them anyway, soon, but probably cheat and backdate them so that the entry falls a couple of days after Christmas in my archives, hehe! I'll mention it in a new post here when I've done it though, in case anybody would like to see them.

Well, I'm tired out and heading for bed. I hope I'll be back with photos of my tiny birthday boy soon! :)

What a day! :)

Thank you for the comments on my last entry! :) Jemma, how funny that our "to do" lists were the same!

I did better today with my five things! I decided the 5th one should be "Take boys for a walk" because the day was sooooo clear and sunny and crisp and beautiful, but sadly that was the one goal I didn't make. I DID make a yummy lamb casserole, which two-thirds of my children refused (sigh), and finish clearing the clean clothing piles from the stairs, and get washed and dressed this morning, AND I read a couple of books aloud to each individual boy today, yay! I felt soooo happy for doing that, and they seemed calmer after story time too. I decided today that I seriously need to ditch the TV. They watch incredibly too much TV and it's on for most of the day, and I can't fathom how it's come to this, when I originally did NOT want my small children watching TV at all!!! Also, Arthur is more aggressive and "nutso" after a block of TV, which I used to be as a child too, so my parents limited my TV quite a bit. I was older than Arthur though. Anyway. I'm nervous about what to do if it's not on! It has (embarrassingly!) become quite a coping mechanism for me...

Anyway, I got 4 out of 5 off my list done today!!! Four out of five = very good! Yay!

Neil ended up working till 10pm or so tonight, and the ringer was off on the phone (my fault entirely) so he left messages but it got so that dinner was running late and it still wasn't quite ready, and I was hoping Neil would watch the boys who were getting tired and hungry and cranky, while I cleared the kitchen enough for us to EAT in it and served dinner. I kept thinking maybe he was stuck in traffic, and then wondering aloud where he could be, and then I thought to check the phone, and there were two messages about working late tonight! Oops. So, then it was not easy getting all 3 fed and ready for bed, and INTO bed and sleeping by myself. Nathan was asleep for 8pm, but that's when I like them ALL to be asleep by, if not earlier really. If I'm on my own they just have to go in order from youngest to eldest. Arthur would not go to sleep because he missed his daddy, so I let him get up to phone Neil at work and chat to him for a few minutes. He went to sleep pretty fast after that, but it was 9.30pm by then.

Also, today we had a "monkey moment", the likes of which we (thankfully!) haven't seen in a while! I went up to put Nathan down for his afternoon nap, and made sure the boys had something to watch on TV (urgh!) that keeps them entertained and thus quiet. Apparently it wasn't entertaining enough for Matthew, who did this instead:



Yes, folks, it's the Sudocrem again. Nappy cream that does not wash out of anything! ;) I had no words when I saw him, as I felt exhausted and was TOTALLY not expecting trouble at that point in time! I think I just said his name a lot, and couldn't find words to follow that, and then grabbed the camera as it seemed like the only vaguely sane thing to do! ;) His face was a picture when he realised he was busted!



But he was very pleased with his "cleaning" - apparently that's what he was doing. He told me he even cleaned his hands and feet. He did a very thorough job - not a speck of cream-free skin on his feet, including inbetween his toes and the soles and heels! Here he is showing me his "clean" hands:



Ohhhh it was everywhere. The carpet was covered, and then he'd walked around the room looking for toys to "clean", and so there were white greasy footprints everywhere. He did a great job cleaning Arthur's car transporter:



My skin is actually cracked from the amount of detergent I used under the hottest water I could bear to clean that car transporter in the kitchen sink! I washed endless tiny little dress-up doll clothes (which they got for Christmas and LOVE) by hand, and scrubbed the carpet like crazy. It still is yucky and greasy and somewhat white though. I made Matthew clean the wall with a towel after I stripped his cream-covered clothes off, and clean the side of the merchant's chest with baby wipes (which at least cut through the stuff), and he was very willing and diligent. He was very quiet! I think he knew he'd been properly naughty!





Arthur hadn't even noticed what Matthew was doing, and gasped in a sort of horror/delight sort of way. He ran for the camera while I was cleaning Matthew up, as he takes dozens of photos on my camera every day at the moment. Lots of them come out blurry if he's too excited about the subject, haha! ;) Here's me somewhat huffily cleaning the cream off Matthew's feet!





The photographer (we have LOTS of photos like this one, as Arthur likes taking them, and pulling as many different faces as possible! In this one he's waggling his tongue to make a silly noise!):



And, so as not to leave him out, my sweet little one-toothed wonder, taken by Arthur the other day!



I can smell Sudocrem even now. And it's so late! I must go to bed!

Tomorrow's Five Things:

* Get washed and dressed

* Wash the cream out of Matthew's hair (it's blotted and wiped as best I could, but yeah, the poor boy has had to go to bed with somewhat creamy hair tonight!)

* Do 2 wash loads and dry loads - the need for which is evidenced by the BULGING portable safety gate behind Matthew's monkeyness - it's all dirty laundry in the kitchen doorway, yuck! I am SO going to wash it all tomorrow.

* Read aloud at least a couple of books to each boy

* Go for a walk? I'll try!

I'll be back tomorrow probably! :)

Thoughts about 2009...

Yay, my second "officially here!" post! :) Thanks for the comments, I feel welcomed in!

I have been having so many thoughts and musings about the year ahead, as well as the year behind me, lately. I'm frustrated with how 2008 ended, especially the last few months, for the boys and my heart (attitudes and such), my walk with God, and my home, etc. I know I've been pregnant over those months and mayyybe should cut myself some slack because of morning sickness and exhaustion, etc. But I still don't feel happy about it, and I need to actively make some changes. I NEVER make New Year's Resolutions because I just don't believe in doing so. I used to, but sort of as a "cool teen" thing to do, because everybody did and it was the thing to do. I used to make like 38 of them and never really accomplish ANY of them. So I just don't do it. It's extra pressure and I feel doomed to failure over big goals! Even small goals sometimes.

Anyway, I really do have things I want to change, and I am not sure how to go about it. All I know is, things NEED to change around here. And it happens to be a few days into the New Year, so I might as well call them New Year's Resolutions, of sorts, while I'm at it? I just need to be careful about my expectations and stuff.

On Saturday afternoon, Neil took all 3 boys to the park for some air and exercise. He's good like that, and they really don't get out much at the moment due to me feeling grim or exhausted. Getting 3 small children ready to go out in the winter is such a huge task! I'm dizzy with exhaustion before I'm halfway through, and it's not like they are well-behaved or helpful during the process at ALL, so it's just HARD to do on my own. I need to fix that too, though, for their sake. But it feels like a mountain that I'm not sure how to climb at the moment.

Anyway, so Neil took them to the park. When they go to the park I usually snap into action (for a brief flickering moment, haha!) and "blitz" a room or cook something that is fiddly to cook with the boys about. Or something. But this time I had a sore tummy all weekend, just IBS/pregnancy-related, but bothersome, and I was sooooooo tired. So I knew I should just rest up on the sofa or something. I bought myself a few new Christian music CDs for Christmas, with Christmas money from my parents! I got 3 Chris Tomlin CDs, a Lou Fellingham one (her latest), and Kathryn Scott's "I belong", which is just beautiful. So I figured it was a perfect opportunity to put on some of my new worship music, get my Bible, and recline on the sofa, just spending some MUCH needed and long-overdue time with God. It has been a lukewarm spell for a few months. Not DRY like it used to be if I wasn't feeling super close to God, nothing like. I have still been praying and praising God (here and there, not lots like I need to). But I'm not happy with myself for the last couple of months of 2008, especially regarding my calling, that is, what God has called me to. And living out God's plan and desire for me, especially as a mother, wife and homemaker.

Neil and I haven't prayed together in a couple of months. I'm annoyed and fed-up about that. Our discipline (and motivation lately) is just pants. We used to pray every night after the kids were in bed asleep, and it was SO wonderful. I feel so frustrated that we have lost that wonderful habit, even though we saw it slipping, we didn't pull ourselves together and keep it going. Urgh!

Anyway, so I put Chris Tomlin's "Hello Love" CD on. It has two lovely slower tracks at the end, and the penultimate track is called "Exalted (Yahweh)". There's such an incredible soaring chorus that just cries out, "Yahweh! Holy is your name! Yahweh! Holy is your name!" over and over, this huge choir without instruments. I put it on all normal and upbeat about a little quality time with God, and then Track 11 came on and I totally did not make it through the first chorus before I was unexpectedly overcome with sobbing and crying. Something about the use of the name Yahweh (which I don't often use/hear - it means "Lord" and is referred to as God's name in the Old Testament sometimes) just transformed it for me. It gave me an image of God as Ancient of Days; awesome, mighty God of Israel - just HUGE, eternal, all-powerful, etc. It just suddenly overwhelmed me to see how lukewarm and POOR my offering to God - this GREAT AND MIGHTY God, awesome and loving and incredibly wonderful - has been, and how VERY much I love him, and how very broken-hearted I felt at the revelation therefore. I couldn't sing along to the chorus at all, though I so wanted to, for choking crying - I just felt so inadequate somehow, coming to God so.... in such a poor state without having fallen to my knees before him and shared my heart and told him I love him, and asked his forgiveness. So I did that (well, on the sofa, not on my knees), and cried a ton and felt so deeply remorseful. It was a WONDERFUL moment, spiritually speaking, yay! I know these "deep heart" moments are the life-changing ones and OH, how I've felt the desire and need to change this past week.

After that I found I could sing along with the chorus after all, but with a huge beaming smile, a swelling heart, and tears of joy, hands outstretched to my glorious God who has cleansed me, loved me, forgiven me and accepted me all over again, and who delights in what I'm doing before him in worship!

Following on from that, I really started to feel like setting some new goals for the year ahead (that is where this post has come from, which is why I shared it all). I do have such a lot of things to work on, to hold myself accountable for, and to try to achieve throughout the year. I desperately long to finish 2009 a "different" person (but not as such - still ME, still who God made me to be, but different in a good way) than I was when I finished 2008. If nothing else, I need to make this progress for God, to be who he has called me to be. I know he calls me to be myself, but I have a way to go, and I need to be working on it! And my children and husband NEED me to make these changes this year. They needed it LAST year, but this year more than any other - they'll all be another year older, their childhoods advancing on, and in July we will add another precious little boy (I think!) to our family. So I need to learn to be a better steward of all that God has blessed me with: my time, my children, my husband, my home, etc.

I am so FED UP of my walk with God being hot, cold, or lately lukewarm all the time. It's always on/off, NEVER consistent, ever. It's ENTIRELY to do with my lack of self-discipline. I really don't think it has to do with a thing else. So it's time. It's time I stepped up (I almost want to say "grew up", but that feels too harsh and uncomfortable - could that be because it's true??) and tackled my self-discipline issues. I can't muster up self-discipline, it has to come from God. HAS to. It is the furthest thing from "natural" for me, I am just waaaay not that kind of person, and never have been. I've always struggled in this area, even in other ways before I became a Christian. But somehow I've GOT to be different in this area, to be consistent, and be disciplined about seeking God. If I am slack on that, nothing can be achieved, because I need God totally involved with me for everything.

So, I must start with that. I need to be in God's word ever day, and spending time with God every day. It's about as important as oxygen, so it's not a question of not being able to fit it in. God HAS to come first - yes, before my children. Because then he'll equip me to meet their needs. And not only that, it's so important that they see me acting/living out this priority order.

I don't want to be unrealistic with any New Year's Resolutions that I DO make, nor set my goals too high or make too many of them. I started to jot down ideas of the kind of things I want to put on my list, just off the top of my head. I haven't really got much further yet, and my list might need revising or tweaking. Or maybe it'll just do fine and I'll work from it this year?! Here's what I'm thinking so far:

1. Read a book of the Bible every month. I saw this idea on somebody's blog (I can't remember whose!) and thought it was a much more realistic goal for me than trying to start a "Read the Bible in a Year" programme. I started that in August but only got through the first month of readings before my self-discipline petered out, tsk! I so need to FIX THAT!!!! So, obviously reading a book of the Bible per month will take longer than a year, but that's fine, so long as I'm actually READING the Bible it's great! :) I need to feed on God's word, and that's what I'll be doing if I'm reading it at all. I will choose any book I want to start with, and go from there. If I get excited and finish one in a few days then I can always read another and another that month, but I will only hold myself accountable for ONE book per month. I'll have to keep a list somewhere of which books I've read, so I don't lose track! I think I could do that here, maybe? I haven't decided which to start with yet, but I'm going to make a start soon, as we're almost a week into the first month of the year already!

2. Write a loose-ish schedule and try to stick to it. I have tried a written schedule before and it worked SO WELL at keeping me better on track. I got so much more done, and the boys' day ran much more smoothly. But I find schedules sooooo very very hard to stick to! It's just completely not in my character! But I need to try again, and keep trying beyond that, because if I'm going to have a lot of small children (well, I already do, but yeah if I am going to have MORE, lol!) then I will need to be more self-disciplined and structured to get everyone's needs met and stay somewhat sane! ;) This particular resolution needs a condition though - I must be realistic when writing the schedule and not "over expect" of myself. I read at the MOMYS (Mothers of Many Young Siblings) forum the other day that you should be happy with getting 2/3 of the schedule done each day, not expect to achieve more, which is good for me to hear, as I tend to set my expectations too high and get all perfectionistic (word?).

3. Read a book each month, specifically about parenting, Christian living, or some other thing that encourages me as a mother, wife, child of God, or home-maker. Now, I may end up needing to tweak that if a month turns out not to be enough for all the reading (if I don't get enough time to read as I hope to), with the Bible reading too. But for now I'll start out trying to read a book per month. Straight away I had 7 books that I want to read, to put on my list, and I'll have time to figure out another six for the rest of the year, so that's fine for now. My seven so far are:

Raising Boys - Steve Biddulph
The Five Love Languages of Children - Gary Chapman
Debt-Proof Your Marriage - Mary Hunt
The Mom Walk - Sally Clarkson
Shepherding a Child's Heart - Tedd Tripp
The Power of a Praying Wife - Stormie O'Martian
Let Me Be a Woman - Elisabeth Elliot

I have started with The Five Love Languages of Children. Mallory gave me that book a year ago (thank you Mallory, I so so so appreciate it!) just out of the blue. She sent it to me unexpectedly all the way from the States! I wanted to read it right away and then it got put to the back of my mind for a while. Arthur is SUCH a challenge right now, and I keep worrying that I'm missing something, or not doing something that he NEEDS me to do. I feel like I'm disciplining CONSTANTLY and there is less and less of the positive stuff, which can't be right. It is a strain between us, and his behaviour is definitely not improving. Anyway, again I was browsing posts at MOMYS and saw a post about 4-year-old boys and behaviour. There was such a lot of wise advice and thoughts from very experienced mothers! I love big family forums! I love that it's so normal for someone to write, "Well, I've had five 4-year-old boys so far, and in my experience...." and nobody bats an eyelid! ;) It's sooooo helpful to read these wiiise ladies' thoughts and see what their experience was. Anyway, a couple of people mentioned this book and said good things about it - even one of them said putting what the book said into action changed their son's behaviour completely. So, then I remembered that I HAVE that book, thanks to Mallory! :) So I grabbed it straight away and started reading it. That's my first "book per month" book this year! It's a very interesting read, and I can see it is going to help me a ton with the boys, and maybe change things a LOT for them for the better. I know I said it already, but thanks so much Mallory! xxx

The other books are books that I've bought in the last 6 months and either started to read but never got halfway, or else didn't have time at all to start them. And I really want to read them. Each will give me valuable insight, I think, and I am eager to get reading.

Okay that was a long-winded explanation for my 3rd resolution! ;)

4. Declutter the house PROPERLY. I can't even begin to describe my house at the moment, and thankful for that because I would not WANT anyone to know about the state of it! Believe me, what your imagination is showing you right now is not the HALF of it. I keep worrying about some social workery person happening upon us for some reason, and us being in BIG trouble. Seriously, it's not good for the boys, or for Neil and I. But we're in too too toooo deep, even with FlyLady's help, to dig out, especially with the time pressures, the boys, and the baby consuming all my energy and physical resources right now! So, we are hiring a professional declutterer. Yes, people, it has come to that. We have money left from the sale of the end of our garden, and this is a high priority now. I need to actually contact the person and arrange it though. The sooner we resolve the problem, the better for all of us, so I need to do it this month. My goal is to arrange that, and see it through.

5. Sort out homeschooling properly. I don't even know what I mean by that. We started a sort of pre-school programme that I made (with the help of a craft activity book for themes) in September but yet again we did not get further than October before it all came to a standstill. I'm so nervous that I simply don't have the ability to pull myself together and really be responsible for my children's education. I can SEE that it's totally possible, and I SO WANT to do it! I am frustrated beyond explanation with myself that, as with sooooo many things my life through, I can't seem to pull myself together and DO it, with sticking power! There is so much at stake with this one, and I'm scared to fail, because it's not just about me this time, far from it. Arthur would be starting school properly this September if he went to school, so I really want to sort myself out, make a plan, and I don't know what else I can do! Praaaay. Seriously. Just pray. Otherwise I'm doooomed, and so are my kids! Or else at school where I don't really want them to be, and where I don't think they'll necessarily receive or achieve the very best they could. Anyway, this resolution isn't necessarily for anytime imminent - just "this year" sometime when I have figured it out a bit better and got my bearings a bit better with 2009!

I may think of and add more resolutions yet, but I don't want to overload myself. I want to set myself up to succeed at them, not flop, because that is just a huuuuge confidence killer. And I don't need that!

The other thing I started today was something I read at Natalie's blog. Natalie inspires me so much because she has 2 more very young children than I do, and struggles in the same areas I do, it seems. She also is wonderful at pointing to Jesus and inspiring me to keep looking to him in the midst of struggling to be self-disciplined. She's so honest! And I love that in a blogger! :) Anyway, she started writing a list of 5 goals to achieve each day. I thought that sounded like a great idea, and just right for me (achievable, I hope!), so I started it today. My five things today were:

* Get washed and dressed (seriously folks, I do not think you realise how much of a slump things have got to! It is actually an achievement for me to tick this off the list!)

* Clear piles of clean laundry off the stairs

* Make a lamb casserole

* Put Christmas tree and box of decorations in the loft (I took them down yesterday while the boys were out getting haircuts with Neil)

* Spend 15 minutes of uninterrupted quality one-on-one time with each child. So, 15 minutes x 3, somewhere in the day.

So I got washed and dressed! Go me! ;) And I put the Christmas box and tree in the loft, yay! I went to make the lamb casserole, but discovered that we used all the casserole-y type vegetables for the roast dinner yesterday! So that couldn't be made today. Neil bought veg this evening though, so I'll try that tomorrow. I cleared more than half the stairs of clean clothes (they are VERY cluttered with piles so it was a big job!) and put them all away neatly in the appropriate drawers, which I'm pleased about! But I didn't finish that job today. And the last one was so important to me to start doing - it's sort of based on the beginnings of what I'm reading in The Five Love Languages of Children. But I'm bothered because I could not find a single window for ANY of the boys in the whole day, and that slightly panics me for some reason! When Nathan napped this afternoon I thought maybe I could do 15 mins with Arthur and then 15 mins with Matthew, but lately I'm having trouble with one or both of them being CRAZY noisy on purpose when Nathan is sleeping, and I'm basically nagging or disciplining all the way through Nathan's nap because of it. Which sucks. And means that I can't go into the kitchen to do something at the (hastily cleared and cleaned?!) table with Arthur, and leave Matthew in the living room doing something fun for 15 minutes, because he will very likely act up and need me to go in and sort him out MANY times, and that will mean Arthur does not get his uninterrupted quality time with me, not even 5 minutes, let alone 15 :( I am not sure if Arthur would let me do uninterrupted time with Matthew either, for 15 minutes. They just do not LISTEN to me when I tell them to be quieter, or if I ask them not to interrupt something or other for even the shortest of time (1 or 2 minutes even!). It's like that makes them HAVE to interrupt even more. I'm really struggling with it right now! So, I did baking with the two of them while Nathan napped, and then started a craft thingy, but Nathan woke up during that so we put it aside for another time. That was good, but I still want to be able to focus on one child at a time for a solid block, each day. They each deserve and NEED that, and I should be able to provide it! I am concerned that I can't seem to, even when I want to! I will think on it some more.

This post is reeeeally long-winded now, and it's so late, so I must go to bed. Here are my 5 things for tomorrow, before I go. I will try to update tomorrow, at least to keep myself accountable for the list of 5 things. I'm trying to be easy on myself a little over the 5 things. You know how with 5 star rating systems, things often say 3 means "good", 4 means "very good" and 5 is "excellent"? Well, I'm trying to think of it like that. Otherwise I'd definitely be looking at my list and thinking critically, "I only had FIVE things to do today and I couldn't even do more than half of them!!" With the way I'm thinking, I almost achieved three, so I'm trying be less critical of myself and think 3 means "good"! :)

Tomorrow's list:

* Get washed and dressed
* Make lamb casserole
* Finish clearing stairs
* Read aloud to each boy, at least a book each
* I can't think of a fifth tonight, my brain has gone fuzzy. I'll get to that tomorrow.

Good night, and congrats for reading all the way through if you made it, haha! ;)

The first real post here! :)

Well, I've finally MOVED IN!! I have been moving all 269 entries from my Diaryland version of this diary, since December 12th! It has been soooo tedious some evenings! But I didn't want to leave anything behind, and I'm so glad it's all done now and I have properly moved here. I already love Blogger, and have been reading Blogspot blogs for a year or two. It feels very familiar here, and I'm so happy to be here! I originally felt a bit bad about abandoning Diaryland, since I've kept diaries there for EIGHT years straight! My original one was started when I was housebound with M.E. and fairly newly married, in January 2001. It was a place to vent. I am not proud of some of the stuff I wrote there, so I am always squeamish to link to it! But I was seeking God, always, and up till that point I had never felt so close to God as those years when I was stuck at home feeling dreadful all the time.

God healed me (yup, just like that! Yay!) in November 2001, and I continued writing, but my thoughts were turning to having babies - something I have longed to do all my life. I never wanted a career, only to marry and have babies. Six babies, as per my goal at age 6! :) So, I started my second Diaryland diary (well, I did have one about ice-skating for a while there, too!), alicesbaby, in January 2003. I knew we were planning to start trying for our first baby that year, so I was excited to start writing about my thoughts and plans and feelings, etc. And our progress, of course! We did not conceive our first baby till February 2004, and my "TTC" (trying to conceive) diary became an exciting pregnancy diary! I decided to journal ALL of my trying-for-babies, pregnancies, and newborn stages at that journal, each time, rather than have seperate diaries for each pregnancy/baby. I like having them all there to look back on and compare! And I LOVE returning there, because I love being pregnant and having babies. It's like coming home when I return there once my baby is 8 months old ish :) I love it! So, I sort of want to switch that diary to Blogger as well, since I'm nervous about the longevity of Diaryland now that it's so tiny compared with alllll the other places to blog. I don't want it to fold and to lose all my precious diary entries! But there are five hundred and something diary entries there, and I can't fathom copying and pasting them all like I had to here! Yikes! So, I'm still there. I'm 13 weeks pregnant with baby #4, so I write there more frequently than here sometimes.

When Arthur, my first baby, got to be 5 months old, I realised that I needed to leave my pregnancy diary behind and start journalling his babyhood and my steps into motherhood somewhere else. I didn't feel like going back to my original diary though, so I set up a new one - arthursmummy. This diary! I started that in March 2005, and have been writing there ever since, adding sweet babies along the way! :) I have Matthew and Nathan now. Arthur is 4 (as my new "about me" bit over on the left there says!), Matthew is 2 and a half, and Nathan will have his first birthday in just over a week!! My new baby looks to be another boy, and he'll be due on July 8th THIS YEAR! Aaahhh, I just realised I'm having a baby this year! Again! :) Yayness!

So here I am! I have not written many diary entires over the last few months, mainly due to morning sickness (I wrote quite a lot at my pregnancy journal though), illness, and a trip to visit my parents in France. Diaryland seemed to be getting quieter and quieter, and my comments fewer and fewer, and that really knocked off my motivation to write for some reason. I feel like a fresh start.

This blog will change in the way it looks very soon - I just grabbed the same header photo from my Diaryland diary for continuity's sake, and a pretty free background from cutestblogontheblock.com, and voila, a readable blog! ;) I'm EVER SO excited, because I faffed about trying to do something decent for a layout and it was just too time-consuming and I appear to be too rubbish at it, so I made a rare decision and chose to get my blog professionally "made over"! I have lots of blogs that I read who have had their blogs made over, so I just went and looked at the people who did their blogs, and chose the person whose designs (and prices!) I liked the best. HANDS DOWN, that person is Jennisa, at Once Upon A Blog. I'm toooo excited for words! We sent a few emails back and forth because I had some questions, and she seems lovely and I can't wait to work with her on my blog layout! I think I have chosen my kit for her to work with, and she has put me on her waiting list - look! If you go to her link above, and scroll down below her header, there's a waiting list on the right sidebar - I'm on it!!!! Yay! Right now there are a bazillion people ahead of me (below me on the list) but hey ho. I know it will be worth waiting for. I'm hoping she'll have reached me on her list by the end of January maybe? After that this blog will look very different, but totally about me, or reflecting what I want it to look like, and I am hoping that will be another factor to motivate me to write here more often! I always have so much to write, and then it doesn't get written. I don't have as much time as I used to, but I LOVE to blog!

If you're already at Blogger (and if you want to, of course!), you can click on my "follow this blog" link below my list of posts on the sidebar, to follow me from your dashboard. Now that I'm here properly, I have been able to officially "follow" lots of Blogspot blogs that I have been reading for ages, and it's so nice to have such an easy way of keeping up with them! I had them bookmarked on my browser before, and that was getting fiddly with like FIFTY different blogs from different bloggy places on there!

I have a BUNCH to write about the year ahead, and my thoughts on last year, AND a ton to catch up on with photos of the boys, Christmas photos, and VERY tardily, Arthur's birthday photos from November! :S I never even got around to catching up on his 3rd birthday in 2007, but I like that I can put a post here that's backdated and it will appear amongst the posts for that year, as though I had posted it at the time! :) So I will probably do that with Arthur's 3rd birthday as well, at some point, and let everyone know when I've done so! I will be back very soon (tonight even?! Or tomorrow) with the post about the year ahead and so on, that I have mostly written already but don't want to post with the New Blog!! post.

I hope you like it here, and that you'll come back to visit me again here!

Christmas Eve!

Christmas Eve ALREADY!!! I haven't got time to update because it's 11.36pm and I'm tired out, and tomorrow will be INTENSE with the boys from early o'clock. We've spent the evening finishing the wrapping (I did most of it a week or so ago) and stuffing stockings and arranging presents under the (very small and up off the floor!) tree. The boys were fairly wild with excitement this year, it's so sweet!

I sort of see it as Matthew's "first" real experience of Christmas, because he's 2 and a half (can you believe it?!) and really gets it this year. Arthur is just totally into Christmas and very excited - keeps hearing sleigh bells as he's dropping off to sleep the last couple of nights, which wake him with an excited jump and then he's all wired telling me about it and wondering! Tonight he took ages to fall asleep and would not stop talking about Father Christmas, and how he hoped the reindeer liked the carrot we left out, etc. So sweet! I love this, it's so much fun for me even, hehe!

It's Nathan's REAL first Christmas, of course! He's 11 months old, it's crazy. His birthday is actually in just over 2 weeks. I can't get my head around that, but mainly because Christmas and New Year are in the way, and you know how it's hard to think beyond that before Christmas happens. But, RIGHT after Christmas I need to hurry and think about what to give/do on his birthday! It's hard straight after him having presents at Christmas, because I have run out of ideas, and we've had two one-year-olds in the last 3 years already, so we don't really need any more one-year-old type things in the house! Aaargh, what to get him?! I have to think about it.

He's doing so well!! He finally got his first tooth, two days shy of 11 months old! I'm amazed by that, since Arthur was 8.5 months, and Matthew was 7.5 months! Even with his age adjustment he's way later than them! My older boys also teethed in the same order at the same pace, pretty much - they had 5 teeth at the age Nathan was when he got his first! Also, Nathan's first tooth is not the classic bottom front tooth. His bottom gum is still bald! ;) His first tooth is the right TOP front tooth. His left one is starting to look "active" under the gum, and he's currently teething again. My mum was joking that he'd have his two front teeth for Christmas (and nothing else at all!), like the song, hehe! But, he's just a little one-toothed-boy at the moment. :) I have photos, just not uploaded at the mo, tsk.

Also, a week ago Nathan was standing at the sofa facing out into the room. I sat a few feet away from him with the camera, thinking he was in a lovely position to take a good photo, and he beamed from ear to ear and set off walking towards me!! He did it again and again, about 4 or 5 times in a row, and then started to get tired and fell after a couple of steps. He took between 4 and 6 steps every time before he either reached me victoriously (much excited squealing and high-pitched praise from me *sigh* I'm so excited about my babies walking for the first time!!), or else he toppled. He even walked in a little semi-circle at one point to turn back to the sofa, and didn't fall doing that, but he did take it slowly and was distracted by Matthew at the time so maybe that helped?

Anyway, I'm so excited about that! Nathan is my earliest walker, but only by a bit. With his age adjusted (to 10 months old) he's by far the earliest, but without the adjustment he's still 2 weeks earlier than the others (they were both about 11 months and 3 weeks when the started like he has). It's funny to me that Nathan has set off walking in EXACTLY the same way that Matthew did - as he stood at the sofa facing out, and I sat down to take a photo of him! How funny! He hasn't done much walking since then, only one or two steps at a time, but today he walked a few steps to Neil for the first time, so maybe he's had his "lull" (it was like he'd forgotten how on earth he did it the day after the first walking!) and is getting the hang of it again. He is SO PROUD of himself when he's walking, and you know he's going to try just by his sort of panty breathing and little breathy squeals (he gets excited about the very idea of trying it, it seems, bless him!), and his eyes sparkle and he smiles soooo big and stretches his arms out in front of him like he's really excited. Then he sets off smiling and doing gaspy squeals all the way. It's seriously the cutest thing ever. *sigh* I completely adore that baby boy.

We've done some Christmas crafts (the boys and I) but I'm behind on the baking this year, and haven't even marzipaned the Christmas cakes yet!!! Let alone ice them! I'm so frustrated with myself, tsk! But oh well. Maybe I'll miraculously get them done tomorrow and we'll eat some on Boxing Day?

We're doing Christmas just as we did last year - just Neil and the boys and me at home, no family. My brother (and Sarah and Thea) and my grandparents are staying with my parents in France for Christmas. Neil's mum is staying home in Yorkshire this year, and his brother and youngest sister are there for Christmas. Rosemary and my two little nieces are home, about an hour from here, but we have no plans yet to see them. Normally we see them in the week that follows Christmas, but Neil has to work that week this year. His old company used to be closed that week so he never worked it before.

Except Monday morning!!! I have my first scan on Monday morning (I just started my 2nd trimester, is that not crazy?!) and I can't wait! Neil is off work for the morning to attend it, and my grandparents will be home by then to watch the older two for us (we're taking Nathan with us). We still haven't told the boys about Babydot, and don't plan to for a good while yet, though they seem receptive to the idea of babies and our family growing at the moment.

I can't wait for tomorrow morning, just to see the boys' faces when they reach the point on the stairs where they can lean over a bit and see the presents. I wish I had a remote control camera just set up ready, but I'll be sooooo bleary at that moment in time, and behind them for sure, because they'll likely forge the way!

Now I have to chew a carrot in a reindeer-like manner, consume a mince pie (what a chore, hehe!) and then brush my teeth and go to bed. I'm more excited about Christmas Day this year than I have been for years. It was always the highlight of the year for me as a child, and the excitement didn't wear off in my teens either. It kind of waned once I was married and Christmas was what we made it, not what my parents made it for me, sort of. Now I love that my children are just getting to that FUN age where they're as excited about Christmas as I remember being, and I get to be the parent involved! :) So much fun!

The boys wrote (dictated) adorable letters to Father Christmas earlier in the month! I can't believe how much I've missed writing here, with my huge gaps between entries :( I haven't even written about France and Arthur's birthday yet, and those seem to be way in the past to me now :(

Anyway. I will get to those (I hope)! In Arthur's letter to Father Christmas he said that he wanted "a toy Jesus that has a button on the back which when you press it he says, "Everybody please be good!"", hehehe! I had SO MUCH TROUBLE keeping a straight face while I solemnly wrote down what he was telling me! ;) He even adopted a somewhat "holy" tone for the "Everybody please be good!" line - very calm and even-toned, hehe! He cracks me up, that boy! :)

Arthur was supposed to be a shepherd in his first ever Nativity play at church last Sunday, but we've been ill with two fortnight-long "colds" (that have behaved way more like flu with dreadful coughs that are still going - the doctor told me that the first one was now considered an influenza strain. Arthur and Nathan had high temps with that one, but Matthew and I didn't) back to back, so it has been a fun month. We've missed a lot of church what with being unwell before going to France, then being in France, then a month not well again! Tsk! Arthur attended one rehearsal for the Nativity play and then we were ill again. He was none the wiser that he missed being in a play, so that's good, but I'm a bit sad that his first Nativity didn't go ahead for him! But oh well! If he doesn't go to school he won't have as many of those as most children do, so I was looking forward to it! Hopefully there'll be other church Nativity plays he can be involved in at future Christmasses!

Okay, I have to go to bed, it's past midnight. But I'm glad to have "snuck" an update in! :)

Long-overdue update, a few Nathey pics and a video clip :)

Almost a MONTH since my last entry!!!!! That is just terrible! I have been updating at my pregnancy diary at least once a week though, and usually put stuff there I would normally put here, since I didn't have time or energy to write at both diaries.

So, to quickly recap on the last month (!!):

* Still pregnant! I'm 9 weeks pregnant tomorrow, and I heard my little bean's heartbeat with my doppler for the first time last week! There's a video clip at this entry in my pregnancy diary, if you would like to hear the sweet sound! :) I'm beyond thrilled to hear it!

* We made it to France and back, yay! Had a lovely time with my parents, an okay crossing there, and a HIDEOUS, never-to-be-repeated-ever-again crossing back to England (discovered Matthew gets travel sick, yeurgh!).

* I have a four-year-old! Arthur had a lovely 4th birthday in France. He had a car transporter birthday cake, and various presents - books, games, toy cars, a toy car transporter (requested!) and a tricycle at last! I've wanted one for him for a long time. We don't have the space for him to use it at home, sadly, but we can take it out, and we'll move fairly soon and plan to get a bigger place that he can use it in! It's a BIG tricycle, for 2-5 year olds, though Matthew is nearly 2 and a half and can't reach to pedal it properly. Arthur LOVES it! He got the hang of it very quickly. I have a million photos of his birthday, and our time in France, but it might take me a while to sort those out for my diary :(

* While I was in France, I started to bleed quite heavily, and was convinced I was starting a miscarriage. I bled and spotted for a further 2 weeks. When we got home I had a scan (at 6 weeks) and everything looks fine. I saw my Babydot and his/her heart beating! I feel horribly sick (3.5 weeks and counting, urgh!) all day and night so I'm very reassured, lol! The bleeding has stopped now, thankfully. I seem to bleed every pregnancy for some reason, but I don't like it!

* Nathan is 10 months old! Already 10 and a half, actually. He is standing unaided a lot, for 10 seconds or more at a time. He is also doing such a funny "launch" thing where he stands unaided and puts his arms out in front of him, gets a very determined and serious look on his face, and starts to do a sort of lurch movement forwards, as though he's willing himself to move in a forwards direction, haha! He's so sweet! I love watching him do this! ;) He seems convinced that he'll move if he concentrates hard enough, hehehe! Eventually he keels forwards, but at least his arms are out and he just goes onto all fours (hands and feet). He'll get it soon, I should think :) He took one step unaided yesterday, but he didn't even notice, and I'm sure it was totally by accident!

I DO have a photo of the little man standing! Here he is, plus a few others at the same little photo session. This was a couple of weeks ago when he was very new to standing unaided (day 2?):

He's so precious!! He babbles NON STOP now, and is such a vocal baby!

He still has NO teeth! Matthew got his first tooth at 7.5 months, and Arthur at 8.5 months, so Nathan is officially my latest teether! He's continually teething and has been for most of his wee life, but still no toothies to show for it yet. His adjusted age is now 9.5 months, so he's definitely a month past my previous oldest teether :) I have to say, I am happy that he has no teeth yet! The other boys had FIVE by his age - 3 at the top and 2 at the bottom! I'm loving the soft lil gums when I'm breastfeeding, and ADORING the gummy grins and laughs! :) I will soooo miss them when he sprouts teeth!

I'm sure there's so much more, but it's late late late, and I feel sick, and I must go to bed. We've all got colds at the moment and I can't do much for mine, so I'm making hot lemon and honey (real lemons, yay!) and riding it out. Nathan's sleep is really disturbed (he's streaming today, poor lovey!) so I should be in bed already!!! I have just been buying most of the boys' Christmas presents online! :) I'm so happy it's December! I love the Christmas season! :)

I will leave you with the video clip that I mentioned in the above (linked) entry from my pregnancy diary, of Nathan laughing and laughing at Arthur yesterday. I never tire of his sweet laugh. He adoooores Arthur, and finds him so funny, pretty much no matter what he does! Matthew less so, but Matthew is lately making increased efforts to "make Ninny laugh", and it's starting to pay off! ;) Oh! Matthew's talking EXPLODED. He talks in long sentences and uses words like "frustrated", "fantastic" and "complicated", but his pronounciations are EVER SO sweetly toddlerish still! He also misses some words out of long sentences still, and gets tenses wrong, but I'm so amazed at the change in his speech in just the last month, since I last wrote. He tells Arthur off a lot now, and teases him verbally (sigh - an issue lately, since he so enjoys it and is one of those people who can keep perfectly calm and deadpan for AGES while the other child happens to be the type of person who CANNOT BEAR that kind of thing and will pull his own hair out after about 1.4 seconds of it!). He isn't mean, verbally, but he'll just say something simple like, "Be good, Arshur..." with a very stern expression, when Arthur hasn't done a thing. Arthur can't STAND it! He'll say, "I didn't DO anything, Mashew!" and then there'll be a silence, so they both go back to what they were doing. After a measured pause, Matthew will say quietly, in the same tone, "Be good." and carry on playing! It drives poor Arthur crazy. He can't leave it be or ignore Matthew, and ends up in a total state trying to vindicate himself, while Matthew keeps a straight face with a twinkle in his eye, apparently completely absorbed in a game and not in the least bit bothered by Arthur's irate responses! Poor Arthur! Monkey Matthew-Binks!

I have so much more to write about those boys, more than ever now that there are a million funny or cute verbal exchanges to record (I've sadly forgotten most of them already!! :( ), but I HAVE to go to bed!

Here's the video clip of sweet Nathey and his slightly nutty eldest brother!

Make video montages at www.OneTrueMedia.com

I love my boys!!! All of them. That Nathey-noo-knee-caps does me in with his extreme cuteness, I can barely stand it :) Love him to bits. Sorry this catch-up entry seems to have focused overly on Nathan (with the photos and video!), but I'll have pics of all the boys next time, I promise!

Thanks so much for all the comments over the time I've been away from this diary - especially the birthday wishes for Arthur! :)

Lots of news!

This is really not a proper entry, but it has been too long since I last updated, and also, there are things to say! :)

So, news item #1: I'm pregnant! Yay! I am guessing most of the people who read here will already know, though, because they read my pregnancy diary too, but I'm announcing it here anyway! :) I'll be 5 weeks pregnant tomorrow. Babydot is due July 7th 2009, and I'm sure he's another boy ;) Pregnancy diary very much IN ACTION, hehe! I never mean to, but I always end up updating there more often than here (sometimes LOTS more often) when I'm actually pregnant. I have not got much to report yet though. I have had some slight spotting, but just consistent with my usual implantation-ish spotting. I'm feeling morning sick, just a little, which is early for me but hey ho! It's not nearly as bad as it will be in ohhh, 7 days from now! ;)

I'm SO EXCITED to be pregnant again! :D

Big news #2: We are going to France tomorrow - tomorrow!!! We're going on the overnight ferry (help!) and then driving halfway down France the next morning/afternoon to stay with my parents! I'm soooooo excited to go and visit my parents again! We haven't been since Arthur was almost 14 months old, for New Year 2006! I was 17 weeks pregnant with Matthew, so neither of the tiny boys have been there. I know the boys will love it! Arthur can't wait! It was actually his choice, that we go to France to visit Nana and Grandy.

Which brings me to Big News #3: Arthur will be 4 years old on Sunday!! Yipe! Howwww did that happen?!?! I asked him a few months ago what he wanted to do for his birthday, and at first he said he would like to go to the farm like we did for Matthew's birthday in the summer (and Arthur's 2nd birthday). But then he thought about it and said he would most of all like to go to Nana and Grandy's house in France for his birthday! He has talked about nothing else since, and I have long since lost count of the number of times (per day! For like 90 days straight!!) he asked me how long it is till we go to France, or how long it is till his birthday! He's just so excited about going!

I'm nervous about the journey. We have a nice cabin on the ferry, because we HAVE to have beds to sleep in. I am not sure we'll get any sleep all the same, though! I hope they'll surprise us and ALL sleep nice long hours at the same time! ;) Also I hope they'll not be too fidgetty on the long drive down France. We can't afford to stop too many times, as it'll just lengthen the journey so much. I hope Nathan doesn't decide he's had enough after an hour of the whole thing and cry in a nails-on-blackboard fashion for the rest of the journey.

In other news, we've all been ill with another (what I think is an) adenovirus. We have done 3 weeks (yes) of it so far and hopefully are finished with it now! We've had a week of sore throats, then a cold and horrible cough, then just weakness and exhaustion for a week, then a fever for 3 days and nights (Arthur's was 102, and Nathan just finished his temp of 101 the day before yesterday. Matthew hasn't really had his yet but he was a week behind everyone else, so maybe his will turn up in France? Fun times!), and some diarrhoea to finish the whole merry thing off! I'm fed up with it now! Neil brought the dang thing home from the office and suffered it in about 1/10 of it's usual strength, while it kicked the rest of the family's butts! Tsk! Arthur got it first and then Nathan and I the next weekend. Then Matthew a week later. Sucky thing! I had a cold sore with mine, on my lip, and I never really get those much at all. I had to have two weeks NOT KISSING my babies, and not even smelling their cheeks or hair or nuzzling them even a tiny bit! That was the worst part of the whole virus for me :( I am seriously making up for lost time now, though! Especially with those solid lil pudding cheeks on my tiny boo bean! And ohhhhh his little double chin! *sigh* I could eat that boy up. I do not even jest.

There's ever so much more to say, but I just have to go to bed, as it's after midnight now and we have so much to do tomorrow! I will have internet access in France, but I'm not sure about the time availability there. I plan to at least try to update my pregnancy diary though, while we're there.

I hope the boys will enjoy France! And sleep okay in strange beds... And not be ridiculously picky with the food! They're bad enough with our own food, here! My parents are cooking for them and they know the list of things they'll eat (and won't - that one's much longer!), so hopefully it will be okay. I hope Nathan doesn't fall on the tile floor which covers the entire house. He's starting to stand unaided for 3-4 seconds at a time very steadily, but I know that right after that comes the opportunity for falls and bumps again. I hope he waits till he's home over carpet to do the next bit! ;)

Please pray for us that the journey goes well and especially the sleep! Also, I am due to begin full-on morning sickness the day before we leave to come home - for some reason my morning sickness always kicks in at 5 weeks and 6 days exactly. It's always terrible in the evenings. We are getting the evening ferry (5 hours!!!) home the day I'm 6 weeks exactly. Urrrgh! I hope the sea will be calm.... I'm actually kind of nervous about all the travel (can you tell?! Hehe!) so I would really appreciate your prayers over that! Thank you!

Will update again when I can. The laptop power cable broke so I can't use the laptop (which has my camera software and all my photos), until the replacement cable arrives, which I guess will be while we're away now :( But, photos as soon as I'm able once we're back. Morning sickness has always made me unable to tolerate being on the computer for any length of time, so it may be quiet here for a bit. I'll try to post the odd short entry though, with photos, where I can!

Thanks for the lovely comments on my last entry with Nathan's 8-month pics! He's 9 and a half months old now!!!!! How in the wide world?!?!...

Nathan at 8 months...

Thanks for the comments on my entry last night (what a weird sentence - I never post "last night" any more, hehe!)! The Great Photo Project has begun! ;) I just uploaded 475 photos and video clips from the camera, all taken over the last month!! Almost 100 of them were taken by Arthur though, in one session. He loves taking pictures with the camera and some of them have come out really nice! I will post those in another entry when I have resized them and put them up at Photobucket.

I just looked at the boys' tickers and since it's after midnight (again!), Nathan's ticker says he's 9 months old!!!! How is my baby boy 3/4 of the way through his first year already?!?! Where has the time gone?! I can NOT believe he is 9 months old. It seems like a milestone age, for some reason.

In the photos from the camera, I found photos that I took of Nathan when he just turned 8 months old, so I figured I had better hurry up and post those NOW before he turns 9 months properly tomorrow! ;)

Beany boy had his "under 1 year check" with the health visitor on Monday - a new name again! It used to be the 8-month check, and then with Matthew it was the 8-9 month check, and now it's the under 1 year check! That's IT now, they have long since discontinued the checks through the toddler years! I think that's naff, but oh well, what can you do.

So he is doing great! Mobilising way ahead of his age (his developmental age is adjusted for his early arrival, so he is doing even better than we think!). He is babbling, but has only started doing that BIG time in the last couple of weeks. Now he is babbling "mamama, dadada, bababa, rararara" alllll the time. It's SO CUTE! I love this stage! :)

He had one undescended testicle at the appt, which was a concern at this age, and I was confused because he had both of them at his earlier checks! But she said maybe he's just cold, and that sometimes they do still "pop back up"! She said to check him after a warm bath, so I did that later on and only found one still. After the bath when I was getting him changed for bed, I decided to check again and there were two little tiddlywinks in there, so that was a relief! ;) Poor boy - the indignity, hehe!

He measures 71cm (haven't converted that to inches yet) and weighs 8.13kg. She usually converts that for me to lbs and oz because kg mean SQUAT to me, even though this is a metric country (I guess I wasn't brought up that way, lol!), but she didn't this time so I'm still clueless, having had no time to look it up yet. I think it's 18lbs-something. She says his weight is "tailing off" and showed me the chart which has his weight around the 25th percentile. It was between the 25th and 50th last time (MONTHS ago) and when he was tiny it was up at the 75th, I think. So she's somewhat concerned, but I'm so conditioned to be annoyed by that after my experience with Matthew. Matthew started at the 50th percentile (average weight for age) at birth and steadily dropped down below the 9th percentile over the months. It was in stark contrast to Arthur who also started at the 50th percentile at birth, but climbed steadily to above the 90th and stayed there for basically his entire first year of life!! So I was anxious when Matthew's weight did that. And the health visitors were not helpful about it. They kept saying I should wean/start solids early/supplement with formula, etc, etc. And NONE of those things needed doing, and my gut said that, and it made it awkward for me to go against what the "experts" were telling me. So now I am a bit bristly, shall we say, about my babies' weights! That's why I really haven't had him weighed much at all since he was tiny. I DO love to know what he weighs though! :) I know he's totally healthy, his development is great and he's physically ahead of schedule, so he must be fine. He's happy and doesn't go hungry at all. He nurses all day and all night about 2-hourly or so. He stops when he's full.

We recently increased the exposure to solid food for Nathan, because I was being kind of slack about it and starting to feel guilty - which I should NOT have because there's nothing to feel guilty about! That's outside influence as well, which just bugs me so much! Tsk! A baby should be 95% breastfed till 12 months - solids should be amounting to a MAXIMUM of 5% of their intake! Which is not what most babies get between 6 and 12 months of age, they get much more solids than that. And they shouldn't. It's a peeve of mine, sorry for the rant. *sigh* Anyway, so the HV said I should be giving him more solids, blah blah blah, and that he should be joining in THREE meals a day, not 2-3 like I told her, and that "maybe we'll start to see some improvement in his weight once that's happening" - I don't know, maybe I'm being completely unreasonable but THAT BUGS ME SO MUCH! I just feel defensive and like I don't want to go back to her again! Tsk.

She asked me a bunch of questions with pen poised over some notes when I got in and sat down with all the boys. She asked, "Is he still breastfeeding?" (I said yes), "Does he sleep through the night?" - I told her no, he still wakes several times to breastfeed at night. She said, "Right, we need to redress the balance there then." Um, NO, I think *I* will make that call, since *I* am the Mama and this is my third healthy baby, so yeah, *I* know best, thank you! Tsk. I know I'm sounding horrible but I found the appt really difficult and it left me feeling all bristly and defensive like I said. While I was still kind of stammering over that comment, she fired another question, "Is he taking vitamins?" I said, "Um, no?" And then she gave me the "government" spiel about breastfed babies over 6 months old needing supplemental vitamins. I felt SO irritable at this point, and she was just waiting, looking at me in such an uncomfortably assertive way, for my response. I said, feeling annoyed, "That doesn't make sense! Surely breast is all they need till they're one?!" She just said no no, the government says they need vitamins too beyond 6 months because breast is NOT enough, and what's more the WHO says so too, so ner-ner-ne-ner-ner (okay, she didn't say that last bit). I do actually already know about the vitamins thing. Iron levels in breastmilk start to decrease from 6 months onwards.

Personally I still think adding vitamins is... what's a nice word for the rude one in my head?! ;) - for a breastfed baby. It's not like I'm being all stubbornly determined to exclusively breastfeed my baby - NO SOLIDS - till he's 12 months and refusing to consider vitamins for him! He's taking solids, gradually increasing at his own pace, taking what he wants/needs. He eats what we eat, so he gets plenty of iron sources. It is just not natural that he should be drinking formula milk in order to be healthy, or else having manufactured vitamin drops with added iron!!! It just isn't, so I don't trust the recommendation. Also, I have read the research about the iron in breastmilk being FAR more readily absorbable by a baby's body than any other source of iron. So although there is less actual iron, the amount he can absorb is way higher than a big amount of iron in some other source. Also, I know that if I am concerned I can get him tested for anaemia. That's what Kellymom suggests if you're concerned, but I don't think I would want to get him stuck with a needle to find out if he was anaemic! I think I would probably be reaching for the aforementioned vitamin drops or making sure he ate mounds of meat/greens/pulses before getting concerned enough to have a blood test done, if he seemed to be having problems.

I just told the health visitor that we had skipped purees, and that he was eating what we're eating. She looked doubtful and told me to get him on vitamin drops. I said, "Well, we did the same with the other two (meaning the delay of solids compared to the "traditional" speedy introduction of overly large quantities of pureed and mashed up foods at such a young age), and they turned out just fine. They had no problems without added vitamins." She did keep up what she was saying about the vitamins so I gave up and just smiled and nodded after that. I am NOT giving him vitamins. He doesn't need the extra iron, they taste and smell VILE, and his breastmilk and solids combo is perfectly adequate for his needs, I feel sure of it. Tsk.

I also told her that I am not planning to do anything about his night feeds until he turns one. She gave me the doubtful talk but I just smiled as sweetly as I could and said that all my babies nurse through the night till a year old and I'm happy enough with it till then. AFTER they turn one I will take it in hand, but not before. So she left it at that.

It was good to have his check done, but at the time it did leave me thinking that maybe I would not bother seeing the health visitor with my next baby. I do SO miss my lovely health visitor that saw us with my first two babies! She has retired and her young assistant has turned into the new health visitor at the surgery, so that's who we see now. She's actually nice and I like her in general, but she's nowhere near so supportive or encouraging. Terri (the original HV) had such a gift for making you feel like you were doing a MARVELLOUS job, but this lady does NOT possess that gift, and it's a bit of a stress to see her. Oh well. I am praying about the health care professionals where we will be moving to, as I NEED them to be nice, and supportive! We'll probably be there for the rest of my pregnancies/babies, however many that might be, and I hate having "difficult" health care providers who don't agree with or support my decisions and desires for bringing up my little ones.

Oh this is getting drawn out! Sorry! I meant to just come and post a few photos of Nathan and then go to bed! Neil brought a weird cold thingy home from the office last week, which is mainly an achy throaty thing with a cold on top. He had that for a while, and is still not quite right, and then he gave it to Arthur, who is just miserably coldy right now. Matthew is so far okay, but FULLY exposed as they keep sharing their drinks, etc! I have been achy and scratchy-throaty since earlier today, so I'm down, I guess. Nathan has woken EIGHT times just in the 5 hours since he went to bed for the night, so I'm guessing he is coming down with it too :( Poor baby! We have another round of immunisations booked next Wednesday - first MMR for Matthew (urgh) and 3rd round of the Hib vaccines for Nathan. I am not taking either of them if they are at any stage of a cold. Even if the doctor says it's TOTALLY fine to take them. I will not be doing so. I really want their little immune systems to be as completely at rest as possible for immunisations. Especially Matthew since his will be a live vaccine.

Anyway! Photos, and then bed. I feel a bit yeurghy and it's late.

Here's Nathan all excited about standing and playing at the sofa with his brothers! He is still so thrilled about this, and I have a million billion photos of the three of them playing alongside each other with the cars, etc, because there are now soooo many opportunities to snap those photos! :) He is already standing and cruising WAY more steadily than those few weeks ago, he is changing so fast!

Here is my little Monkey-Noodle, standing at the sofa and making sweet little faces with his tongue and laughing at me. I love him soooo! He's becoming quite cheeky and developing such a fun sense of humour! Did I mention I love this age?! :)

Sweet precious baby boy! He's getting so big, but he's still soooooo tiny when I look at him or hold him. *sigh* My baby! I love having babies! I don't know what I'll do when I haven't got a baby in my arms any more! I know that by then I'll have a bunch of older children to keep me busy (and joy-filled) but I feel sure I will MISS the babies all the same...

Arthur and Matthew bits and photos...

It's been too long yet AGAIN since I updated here! And I totally plan to fix that, but I have so many photos, and also I'm not sure what to write about first! I mean, there are no life-changing things happening here right now, but as always there are so many things in my head that I wish I had time to write down. I am finding it really hard to lose the things that I'm trying to keep in my memory that the boys are saying, meaning to write them here, and they just are GONE now :( I really must do something about that, because it means a lot to me to keep a record of these precious memories!

I have photos from the last time I uploaded from the camera that I still haven't posted, but also my camera currently contains FOUR HUNDRED photos (and some videos!), so aaaaaargh, how am I ever going to sift through those and edit, and post to Photobucket, and get them here before they're old news and I have 400 more waiting?!?!?! Again, it's something that means a lot to me to keep up with, but HOW?! And WHEN?! I don't know. I will just plug on whenever I can.

Like now! :) Yes, it's after midnight, and I'm thus daft. But it's Friday night, so at least I will be able to rest a little more than usual tomorrow. I wanted to post a few photos of the boys (individually, not group shots for once! There are perlenty of those coming once I get the 400 off the camera!) that are just sitting getting out of date.

Here is Arthur a month or so ago. Neil had been at his new job about 6 weeks I guess, and it still seemed like quite a new thing to the boys (after 9 months with Daddy at home all the time! Was it really that long?! It seems a lifetime ago already!). Arthur found Neil's tie one evening after Neil got home from work, and tried to put it on, saying he was Daddy going to work :) So I dug out a shirt (that, incidentally, came from Sharon a while back - thank you Sharon!) and he put that on with the tie. And Neil's HUGE work shoes :) I found him some black trousers and voila! He was proud to bursting when he saw himself in the mirror, and then he set to "being Daddy at work" with the laptop. He was perplexed at first, though he's used Word to do "my numbers" a lot before, so I don't know why, but Neil showed him how to do things and he had a GREAT time! Here are some photos:

I do not know how, but folks, he is nearly FOUR! He wants me to tell him how many days until his birthday, every day at the moment. For the record, there are 30 days left. I can NOT believe my baby is going to be four! I know every. single. mother says this, but sign me up too. I can't believe it. We're going to France for his birthday!!! He had the choice of what to do, and he loves going to the farm for birthdays but he said he wanted to go and see Nana and Grandy's house in France more than ANYTHING (bless!) so that's what we're doing! We are staying with them for a week, from a few days before his birthday to a couple of days after (his birthday is a Sunday so it's midweek to midweek which is good). Neil has booked the time off work without any problems. The ferry crossings were booked yesterday so we're actually GOING! I'm so excited! I miss seeing my parents sooooooooo much, and we haven't been to their house since I was 17 weeks pregnant with Matthew. That's a long time now! So, Matthew and Nathan have never been there. Arthur has, but he was only 14 months (almost) so he can't remember it. I know they are going to LOVE it. The house is so big and it's just so open and spacious in the countryside there. The people are lovely and friendly, and ahhhh I just can't wait! :) Arthur absolutely adores Nana. He refers to her a lot in daily chat, even though he only sees her a few times a year. When they're together, it's like they're in their own little world together, like they're best friends the same age (not 3-year-old age either, like Arthur is older somehow, and my mum is younger - they meet each other in the middle somewhere!). It's lovely. I know he's so excited about going!

I'm somewhat nervous about the journey though - the part which has put us off going all along so far! Well, that and lack of passports, but we all have those now :) We're travelling on an overnight ferry to get there, which will HOPEFULLY go okay! :S And a late evening crossing (5 hours) on the way back from a different French port, that will get us home after midnight sometime, but hopefully that will work well because the boys will all sleep in the car between the ferry and our house. I reeeally hope we don't have a totally sleepless night on the ferry! The drive from the ferry port in France to my parents' house is just over 3 hours, which probably doesn't sound like much (especially to any American readers out there!) but it's a LOT to me! That time will possibly double with little ones. I remember we stopped doing drives longer than an hour after we drove to Neil's family 5 hours north when Arthur was 13 months old and it took TEN HOURS. It was just too long for him to be stuck in the car, and we had to stop really often and take time to let him run about and nurse or eat and change his nappy, etc, each time, so the time literally doubled. We haven't been since as a family, because it was that AWFUL, so I'm nervous about carting THREE littles for several hours straight! Hopefully it'll go much better than we think it might. We are armed with several story CDs (Thomas the Tank Engine, Postman Pat, Winnie the Pooh, Dr. Seuss, etc!), a couple of which are new, and should therefore keep them occupied for a good while! They LOVE audiobooks.

Arthur is now exactly a metre tall! I think that's 38.5 inches, or something? Anyway, that was a few weeks ago. I haven't weighed him in a while. He has really outgrown his car seat (birth to age 4) and needs a "big boy" car seat now, but we're struggling to find The Perfect One. We got a Maxi Cosi one recently and it had a fault so it went back, but I got a refund because I'm not sure I liked the shape of the headrest enough - it comes very far forwards so that he has to lean forwards to see out of the side windows of the car. But it scores top marks in safety tests. The other one we're considering is the Concord PT Lift Evo. The boys currently have Concord Ultimax car seats and they are just fab. We bought them because they're "different" with a billion designs to choose from, and have won safety awards - you can't find a higher scoring car seat when it comes to safety. The next one up (the PT Lift Evo) is the same way, but it has a REALLY high backrest that sticks up high enough to obstruct some of the view through the back windscreen, and we want Arthur to be in the middle of the row of 3 seats that the boys are now in (we have our new Citroen C8, yay!), so hmmm, we can't decide! We ought to just go to a store and try them out, but absolutely NOBODY stocks them, that we can visit anyway! Tsk! So, we'll keep thinking for a bit, but we really must get him in a new car seat soon. He's too big for the other one. His old one is more worn than we expected (straps are fraying a bit, etc) so instead of moving Nathan into it (who is verily CRAMMED into his infant "bucket" style seat now, poor love! He's used it almost THREE TIMES as long as Arthur did when he "outgrew" it!!), we think we'll buy a brand new Concord Ultimax for Nathan and toss Arthur's old one. Better to do that, safety-wise, anyway.

This is turning into a long update, aaargh! I have to go to bed! ;)

Okay, photos of Matthew. Matthew is just changing in leaps and bounds with his speech, constantly. Week by week he's communicating completely differently to the week before! He still pronounces many many things ever so sweetly, in toddlerish ways, which I love! :) He's such a mixture of complete sweetness and total mischief! I only have a few photos of him because he's at that age where he's difficult to catch in a decent photo (tsk!), but funnily enough they do illustrate my point, hehe! Here he is at Bible Time (we still do this every morning for 30-45 mins or so), "reading" my Bible in my chair, in the exact position I like to sit in to read it! :)

When he's not being utterly gorgeously adorable (and he does this part SO well, trust me!), he is either doing this:

Or involved in learning new things, or expressing himself like this:

And the rest of the time (probably more than 50%!) he is in THIS mode:

That's Matthew in the porch, which is where the boys go (a thousand million times a day right now) for being naughty, for however many minutes they are in years of age (that doesn't feel like it made sense!). They can't get out once they're in, and I go and get them when their time is up. I then sit down and ask them to tell me why they were put in the porch, and we talk about why that is not something to do again, and they have to apologise, etc. I OFTEN find Matthew in this kind of state when I arrive. He takes his nappy off pretty much immediately and then puts on a hat and welly boots or something! He has started to put his trousers back on and hide his nappy under shoes so that I don't necessarily notice when he's taken his nappy off, until he wees in his trousers a bit later on! Monkey! He also wees in the porch sometimes. I am not a happy mummy when he does this!

Anyway. He keeps me on my toes! :)

I remembered one thing I wanted to post for memory's sake a while ago! I was putting the boys' shoes on in the porch ready to go somewhere or other for an appointment, and we were late as always, so I was being impatient and barking orders at the boys, etc. *sigh* Anyway, in mid bark, I looked up and saw Arthur looking at me all sort of fondly, with a funny little half-smile and his head a bit on one side. I said, "What?!" curiously, and he shook his head, again sort of fondly and said, with a little amused sound, "Precious Mummy..." I sat stunned for a moment, and then he said in the same very grown-up tone, "You're so precious to me!" just like I say it to him at bedtime sometimes! I asked him what made him say that, and he said, "You're precious because you make milky for all the boys." Love that boy :)

But, that said, he IS weaning, hehe! Poor Arthur, he really would not choose to. I am not forcing the issue as such at the moment. I just am ready for him to stop nursing now. He is nearly four. I have two other nurslings, and would like to have another baby any time God is happy to bless us that way. He has been nursing 3 times a day at regular times for a long while now, with Matthew. They nurse after breakfast, together, on the sofa snuggled up to me, and then I nurse Matthew for his nap (usually to sleep), and Arthur has his turn when I come back downstairs to him, and then they nurse at bedtime (together on Matthew's bed).

Lately I have changed that somewhat. I nurse Matthew first at bedtime, like I do for his naps (in the hope that he might sometimes nurse to sleep and we'll be spared the 60-90 minutes of Matthew-related palava at bedtime *sigh*), and THEN I will go to Arthur's bed and nurse him for less than 30 seconds. He usually complains that it's too short, but I say that's all there is for tonight, and I think he's getting the picture. Also I have cut out the morning breastfeed for both of them in the last couple of weeks. I would still like to be giving that to Matthew, but they nurse together and I can't think of a smooth way to cut it out for Arthur (who cares more about it, to be honest) and not for Matthew. So it's gone. Arthur regularly asks for milky in the morning as usual (Matthew only rarely does) and I always tell him, "Oh, we don't do morning milky any more, remember?" and keep it light and casual and then change the subject or distract with an activity. People have suggested the "don't offer, don't refuse" method for Arthur, but people! If I adopt that method, he will probably nurse till he leaves home or something, haha! Or at least it's beginning to feel that way! He ALWAYS asks. And in fact, he asks probably 6+ times per day EVERY DAY regardless of the fact that I never ever let him nurse more than 3 times a day, and haven't done for many months now! I already "don't offer" and have even started to refuse! So that method is not something that will work for Arthur :) I still let him breastfeed if he has a BAD accident and hurts himself (ie. huge-o bruising, blood, shaking with the shock of it, etc) but not for any old random bump, which by the way he never fails to ask for milky for, and I always tell him no, but that he can have a big cuddle instead. He's VERY attached to his milky. I can't believe I have nearly been breastfeeding for 4 years without stopping, tandem nursing for 2 years and 4 months, and triandum nursing for nearly 9 months, and I've never weaned a child yet! Craziness. But I'm so very proud of my achievement! :) I wish Arthur would have self-weaned before I got to the (unexpected) point where I just plain don't want to breastfeed him any more. But never mind, eh.

Okay, it's so late. I'm going to bed! I'll be back with the million photos (or a small fraction of them!) soon! :