I definitely feel it's time for me to post an update, after such a stressed-out post last time and SO MANY comments - thank you!!! I didn't mean to leave such a gap before posting again, but honestly I'm quite boggled by the huge variety of opinions out there and not really sure how to process them all and apply them (one? some? all?!). I also posted at MOMYS (thanks Annie for suggesting it - Neil did too!) and got some wonderful responses there too - fairly different to the ones I got here, I think because most of my blog readers are not quite of the same.... what word am I looking for?.... mindset? (maybe?) as I am, regarding little ones and mothering them and so on. At MOMYS, most of them ARE, so the responses are different. I really did want to get those two different types of opinions, which is why I posted both here and there. I had some similar advice at both places, though, I don't mean to imply it was totally different to what everyone said here! Thanks so so very much to everyone who commented and gave advice, or just said soothing things or let me know you're praying for me. I appreciate it so much! Some of you (with busy, child-filled lives, no less!) left HUGE-O comments, and I know that took a big bite out of your time, so I just want you to know that warmed my heart and made me feel loved, and I just appreciate you guys so much! :) I intended to write a big "Responses!" post tonight, to comment on lots of different things people said, but now that I sit here tired at the end of a busy day with the littlies, it's just beyond me! I may get to it eventually though, and probably will comment on bits and pieces as they come to mind as I'm writing posts for a while.
I know a lot of people mentioned how I'm germ-phobic, or just basically really afraid of the boys getting sick. I have been thinking this over a lot this past week, really thinking about it. Because it's not good. But I think that's exaggerated, and to the average out-at-playgroups-all-the-time mama, I am probably a pretty weird mother in that respect, and the fact that I talk about not liking the germ aspect at large gatherings of children probably turns that weirdness into an obvious-looking problem with germophobia, or something! Honestly, I DO get anxious about the boys getting sick with things that would knock us all out. I have no idea how we'd function if the parents were too sick to care for the children (whether they were sick too or not). It's plain no fun having more than 1 or 2 ill small children at once to look after, when you're also ill! Which, I know is the same experience for everyone. But it's kind of understandable therefore to have a certain level of anxiety over the whole bunch of us going under with something horrible. That's ALL I'm worried about, honestly. I'm really not as germ-phobic as everyone seems to think!
We used to go to playgroups. The big one with 75 toddlers - ill every single time we went, all year round. With like 3 exceptions all year or something, urgh! I persevered with Arthur when he was Nathan's age and I was pregnant with Matthew, for several months until it just seemed crazy and I wanted to give his immune system a break! Mine was okay, but he seemed to be getting so run down, and it didn't seem natural to have him so exposed to SO many viruses week after week after week. So we stopped going. Any time we went back over the next 18 months, whether it was December or July, we got sick. We also went to a small playgroup run by my church now and then. I mostly stopped going to that because it became such a pain to attend when Matthew was in his first year. He liked his naps regular and long. And at home in his cot, thank you very much! ;) Everything had to work around his naps, and we would basically turn up there as they were finishing up and Arthur would run about during the tidy up time and then we'd come home again. Don't feel sorry for Arthur there though - I read it back and instinctively thought, "Aw, poor Arthur!" but he was FINE. He didn't ever ask to go, miss going, or wonder if we might go. He was equally contented at home as when we were at groups. He never showed any displeasure at all when we left groups, and once or twice asked to go home early, I think just because he got tired or had had enough of all the noise or whatever! Or just wanted lunch! ;) The effort involved got too much, so we stopped, but it took me a LONG time to let myself drop the groups and feel okay about it, since EVERYONE takes their kids to groups, it seems, so if I didn't then I must be doing something wrong, you know?
These days I will happily have playdates (as we don't really call them, but anyway! ;) ) with other kids as and when, and not have any worries about if the kids are coming with colds or whatever. I totally know that the boys will go out there and pick up colds and such, and that's okay. It does irritate me when somebody brings a heavily streaming child to play, clearly THICK with a horrible and highly infectious cold or other similar virus, though. Because, where's the courtesy in that?! I always appreciate it when mothers call me first and say, "Oh, he's got a cold right now, is it still okay to come round?" I pretty much say yes, don't worry about it (even if it's not always my favourite thought in the world that they're bringing us a cold!), but sometimes I ask if it has been a really horrid one, and once or twice I have actually asked if it would be okay if we reschedule, because on those occasions the boys had just been getting over like their 4th cold in a row (back to back - we had 2 really fun months before Christmas!) and were sub-par and had been miserable with the last one. Or the other time, Nathan was acting teethy and had the remnants of a cold still, and was sleeping HORRIBLY. I just thought that I did not want to INVITE heavy congestion and worse sleep, when I was being given the option not to! ;) So I said no thanks!
At playgroups and at church creche, mothers bring their babies and toddlers who are at the mouthing-everything-in-sight stage, streaming with heavy feverish colds, fresh from vomiting the day before (does NOBODY seem to know that all vomiting bugs are infectious
for 3 full days after the last vomit or diarrhoea?! Honestly and truly, NO mother I talk to seems to have this piece of information! Aaargh!), or whatever. And not just, oh it's an occasional risk that this might happen, nope. Mothers bring their little ones in this stage EVERY. SINGLE. WEEK. Obviously not the same children each week, but across the general membership, there are sick sick sick children in creche/playgroup every ding dong week! Then, I take my healthy, mouthing-everything-in-sight children to the same group and voila, 2-3 weeks of misery (small babies take 2-3 weeks to deal with a cold, not the 7 days or less of a toddler/child), during which time I have to decide whether to let them back to the same germy group while they're still feeling under the weather, or keep them off. I honestly find it really difficult to justify sending my own children into a room full of other children when I know full-well they are infectious with ANY sort of virus. It just seems wrong! I actually had a time where I tried to just push that feeling aside and continue, because one of the mums at church (who also went to playgroups with us) told me that the "rule" out there is that you should always go to playgroups the same as usual if they have a cold, because otherwise you'd never go out anywhere - they always have colds! That did NOT sit right with me, but eventually when Arthur had his run of a million viruses from the big playgroup, I stood tall and bit my lip and took him there anyway. I absolutely could not keep that up, because I'd look at the other sweet little kids, and mine with a streaming nose handing them a toy he'd just mouthed, and I felt so bad for the other little ones! Yes, they probably get colds all the time and it's no big deal, and children "deal" with viruses and keep going as everyone says, but I don't buy it. Kids don't have any say! I bet they wouldn't choose to catch a cold, and no children have any fun when they're full of cold! I think it's more the mothers who are getting used to dealing with colds in their children. Arthur did just breeze on with life after the first bunch of colds he ever got, except really bad ones that made him miserable, but that's no reason to assume that other kids will breeze on and it won't bother them. I just can't feel okay going around making other kids ill (even mildly, to be honest), and I'm sure that steps on toes here because I know I'm about the ONLY crazy mother who doesn't take her kids places when they have colds, but anyway. I tried to shove my feelings aside on it, but I couldn't justify it in the end. So, we don't go spreading colds to others, and I don't like it when others knowingly do so to us - simple as that. But, the boys WILL get colds and stuff, and that's just something inconvenient and difficult to deal with as and when it arises - NOT something I'm anxious or phobic about!! Just to clarify! :)
Now, the vomiting, that's slightly different because as lots of you know, I have struggled BIG TIME with emitophobia since I was a toddler. I think my phobia is actually the best it has ever been now, which surprises me! I would not even call it a phobia any more, which is a BIG deal for me to be able to say! I would certainly call it an anxiety, and a big one, but it doesn't go to "phobic" any more I don't think. I don't obsess, and I haven't actually panicked about it in a very long time, even when thinking about it or contemplating the possibility of getting sick. Which is a big big big wonderful thing to be able to say!! :D I don't even know what has finally improved things for me in that department, I'm completely baffled! I do get scared if someone here is throwing up, especially if it's infectious and I could get it, BUT I can't tell you how different life is for me without the daily panicking and obsessive behaviour that I used to have in my teens and early 20s.
Arthur exhibits the same kind of panic about vomiting that I did when I was little. His stems from a bad gastroenteritis he had at 23 months old. Bad. And, as my mum puts it, his "control issues" that he inherited from his mother. *sigh*) I never knew such awful stomach bugs existed when I was a child! I'm actually pretty sure they DIDN'T, and things are way worse these days. The difference with poor Arthur is he happens to get stomach things BADLY, like Neil did as a child. He throws up and throws up and throws up and throws up and throws up and throws up (seemingly forever, and it must seem so much worse to him) when everyone else here who gets it throws up once. Or just the other end. Apart from NEVER WANTING ANOTHER STOMACH BUG AS LONG AS I LIVE (ahem!), I will do what I can to limit the number of stomach bugs Arthur is exposed to. If people didn't take their kids out in public after they've been throwing up (however mildly THEIR kids seemed to be affected, tsk! OTHER people might not be so lucky!) in the window where they're still infectious (3 full days, remember?) then I wouldn't have such a time with this, or such a bother with going to groups and creche. Nor would such bugs be so commonplace, due to basic infection control by parents. It's a huge bug-bear for me - sorry I'm sounding venty and irritable. I AM irritable about this subject! It bugs me no end. *sigh* And the same applies to colds, really. They don't bother us - they're an annoyance, but every time they get one I just think, "Oh well, at least their immune systems are working on something!" and deal. But there's a chain of people, you know? You might not bother about the other kids you're happily exposing to your child's virus, but I personally know people who have had issues like, say, they have a newborn who ends up in hospital because of colds brought to playgroup (not that they'd have taken their newborn to playgroup, because they didn't want to expose the littlie to the germs brought there, but they didn't want their toddler to be bored, so he went and caught the stuff there instead and brought it home). Or someone whose ailing grandmother lives with them and a cold could be threatening for her. This lady had no choice in the end but to regretfully pull her son out of playgroup because of the risk to her MIL, since everybody brought sick kids to playgroup every week and the risk was unnaturally high.
I'm not worried at ALL about exposing my little ones to NATURAL risk, like going out, socialising with people of all ages, shopping, playing at the swings or the park, etc. But it seems impossible to find groups of small children in any context where the risks of catching viruses are UNNATURAL because of the fact that parents send/bring their children in knowing that they are virally infectious. There are one or two pre-school playgroups (ENDLESS WAITING LISTS, unsurprisingly!) in my local area which state clearly that no child is to be allowed to the group with any evidence or knowledge of infectious viral symptoms of any kind. I imagine those groups are full of kids who get sick WAY less than everywhere else! Now if only all groups were like that, socialising little ones wouldn't be the germy pot-luck it is every time the group meets and the frequency of illnesses wouldn't be so extreme overall.
I guess I'm not PHOBIC, just annoyed about the lack of common courtesy, and the sheer crazy amount of nasty viruses that are there for the taking all the time these days. Arthur is in Sunday School at church now, being over the age of 3, and he does occasionally come home with colds, but it's NOTHING like the little ones in the creche room. I figure it's because the 3-6 year olds are not constantly mouthing toys and passing them around! ;) We'd be going much more regularly over this past winter if we could keep the little ones out of creche - I'm happy to let Arthur loose in Sunday School and risk a few colds and such (though, honestly, he was picking up some BAD attitudes from other kids there - at CHURCH?!!! Tsk!). They don't miss being in creche, but when we're there I don't want the little ones to be hankering after that room full of toys where ALL the other little ones are and not being let to go there. That just seemed mean, so we stopped going for a while. I think it wasn't the right thing to do to just NOT go to church. Going to church is important for us as a family, and for our spiritual walks individually. It's so important to get fellowship and good teaching, and to worship together with others, sooooo important. I don't know. I haven't been sure of any decisions we've made lately (except the family-size-in-God's-hands one! :) ), that's for sure.
I was pretty eager for Jemma's recent visit with Jove to result in chicken pox for the boys!! ;) He came down with it 5 days later. The boys didn't get it (we're out of the window now), but most places I read said it's infectious 2-3 days before the rash, so we probably missed it anyway. I really want them to get chicken pox, because it's important to get it when they're little and not a BAD version when they're older. We don't have a chicken pox vaccine here, but I'm glad of that, because I don't think chicken pox vaccines are a good idea at ALL. I don't know anything about it, but I'm thinking TONS of cases of kids with shingles in the future of countries who do that, off the top of my head. And chicken pox is a picnic compared with shingles!
Ummm.... where did I get to/come from?! I have ranted and waffled for ages, and I'm not sure why I started or where I was heading! ;) I'm absolutely not digging at anyone, and it's just my opinion, which I know will differ from lots of other people's opinions. Knowing that does not mean I intend a debate with this post! I really don't like those. So, please don't take it that way. I was just expressing my (extreme!) irritation over something! Ohhh, I remember, I started out just clarifying that I'm not actually acting this way out of anxiety about illnesses - I think people reckon I have a problem with anxiety over it and it's affecting my children and the way I let them do things. But it's not that dramatic, honestly! Going to groups is a pain in MANY ways, difficult to time, extremely exhausting, usually not fun for at least one of my children who have to come along with their sibling(s), and the whole day gets thrown out of whack with fitting in naps and meals. Seriously. The sickness part is the clincher for me - it's not that easy or enjoyable in the first place (I'm not just talking about me here!) and then if we're all going to get sick anyway, then fine, we'll just give it a miss! ;)
Now, if we DO get to a group, usually at least one of the boys enjoys it and it eats up a nice chunk of the day's energies for them. They DON'T like a bunch of yelling noisy kids. They don't like other kids snatching toys and not sharing, or hitting, or so on. My mum says it's important that they get exposed to a whole lot of toddler-bullying (okay, those are my words, tsk!) so they experience the ways of the world and I get to teach them about it as they experience it. Yeah, that's ONE way of doing it! Forgive my bristling hormonal irritability - I'm honestly not usually this antagonistic (maybe not the right word for it, but I can't think of another right now) about stuff, especially bloggy stuff where it can seem even harsher with only the text to look at. It's just stuff that bugs me and doesn't doesn't doesn't sit right with me no matter how I try to stay open to such ideas or try it out that way for a while, etc. Of course the children will meet bullies in life when they're older, but they don't HAVE to be exposed to it from an early age to learn about it. I really don't think so. I don't plan that to be a big old shock to them later on in childhood when they encounter it, after I've taught them never to behave like that, at home with each other. They'll know bullies exist and what kind of behaviour characterises them, and hopefully how to deal with them.
Anyway. They don't like mean kids or noisy kids, or a group that's just overwhelming all the time. They like to play with each other, and don't ever ask about going to see other children or playgroups, or seem lacking in that department - I know some of you said that their behaviour suggests that perhaps they ARE lacking, but I'm not sure that's true. I don't think a child NEEDS other children of the same age to stay sane and happy during childhood. I think that's what we DO in society, and has been discovered to have great benefits for the children (playmates, etc) but it's not actually necessary. I do think siblings are plenty enough in terms of playmates, especially those who are blessed to be close in age to a sibling or two (or more, even better!). Arthur's best friend is Matthew, as he tells me, and he's not kind of worryingly attached to his brother because he's secluded and has no choice and they rely on each other to feel secure, or anything like that. They fight and argue as much as we try to limit that! But they play together all day and would not have it any other way. Going out of our way to find a "friend" for Arthur his own age would likely increase the options for Arthur as far as playmates are concerned, but why go there if he HAS the constant playmate he desires, right here at home? We do socialise with other 4-year-olds, and he gets on with one or two of them really well. He likes to see them, and if we see them a lot over a shortish period of time, he will be sad if we can't see them for a longer spell like if they're away or something. But he would vastly prefer to spend his time with Matthew. I don't like the whole "best buds against siblings!" thing that goes on with children who go to school. I KNOW, not all of them do this! But the majority do, and we're told it's normal, and part of a child's normal developmental do-dahs. But I disagree. Arthur never has that mentality unless he's repeatedly exposed to other children "his age" who will lead the way in unkindly pushing away THEIR younger siblings with taunting voices, and then after a long while (or two or three visits), he will start to do the same with THEIR younger siblings just to join in what they're doing, and if we continue exposing him to that, he'll eventually start doing the same to his own younger brother. Which, we're not prepared to allow. Other children are teaching him something that is not right, and I don't want him exposed to some of that stuff while he's so little and impressionable. It doesn't come naturally to exclude siblings unkindly, without outside influence. Frustration at younger siblings definitely leads to the desire to have time without those annoyances! ;) Arthur sometimes exhibits plenty of evidence of this. But we are teaching them that their brothers are their best friends, and that they don't exclude or talk or behave unkindly to others, especially their best friends. We always acknowledge the frustrations and try to provide time out from such pressures where necessary, but they are to learn to share and include each other, and also to gradually learn the stages of babyhood and toddlerhood and the limitations those pose to that little child's ability to play this or understand that. They ARE getting it, but it's something we are constantly working on.
I remember one time a few months ago (before Christmas?) at fellowship group, one of the ladies there had a baby who crawled up to Arthur and took a toy from him. She was amazed that he responded so calmly and acceptingly, and just got on with the same game he was playing with a different toy. She even emailed me afterwards to comment on it again, saying other children his age had not had that kind of reaction to her little one grabbing toys! I said that he was used to it, but that's not really what I meant. I meant that he is continually learning (being taught by us) about what babies do and what they can understand and can't understand, and why they grab and the best thing to do about it (and not do!). I'm glad he is learning that from us, and not learning a different response by example in a group of other children his age who are reacting "differently" to a baby crawling up and grabbing their toys! That's just one example of many on why we are focusing on home and home-schooling, and not groups of other same-aged children, for the boys' early years. It's such a formative time.
Yes, we're struggling with their behaviour, and we are SOOOO not experts! But we strongly feel that we're doing the right thing for them. Arthur in particular is very impressionable, highly sensitive and volatile - "highly strung", if you will - just as part of his particular personality and character. Not so much his brothers. He's very like me in that respect, but more so. He CAN be easy-going and relaxed, and sometimes is (which I was a little more than he is) but yeah. It's particularly for
Arthur that we're feeling the NEED to keep him close and educate him at home (for other reasons than the keep-him-close thing, but that holds too). He needs more stimulation and we need to work on that. Maybe that's all it is, even? They get outside a couple of hours every day. They run and play and dig and drive and race and shout and all that boy stuff (!), without me standing over them (I do housework, or - bliss! - read or lie on the sofa on a REALLY good day when Nathan's nap coincides, hehe!). They do LONG walks and rambles on Saturday and Sunday at the humongous park with Daddy. When our day goes according to plan (we could do with a bit more routine to it, which might help too), the boys help with housework (they love this), I read aloud to them a lot, they play together with cars constantly, we build train tracks that Nathan can't mess up during his naps, Arthur has school during Nathan's morning nap, they do puzzles and pretend play, and sometimes we manage a craft or baking. What I really want to do is increase the craft/baking activities. They LOVE those! But I am finding that it's hard to fit any more activities into our day with all that other stuff! It's not that the day drags boringly by for them - though believe me, sometimes it DOES when I haven't got it together or am feeling exhausted or unwell or something. They do best when each "thing" we do is followed immediately by another thing, however passive or simple, even a meal will do. So long as there isn't a gap between activities where Mummy says, "Okay boys, I have to just lie on the floor for a bit because I'm exhausted right now!" which unfortunately is happening more and more now that I'm in my 3rd trimester! Those "gaps" tend to be when the TV is switched on, and then once the TV is on, it's all too easy for it to stay on longer than necessary and they then get fidgetty and bored, understandably so.
So much to think about and "fix"! It overwhelms me one moment (most moments lately!) and then I will suddenly wake up clear-headed about it and full of energy and determination with ideas to sort this or that out. Easter weekend was lovely and relaxed, but it let me just feel lethargic and more foggy of brain than ever. It has actually been a great thing to get to Tuesday and Neil back to work, to have the motivation to pull myself together again, clean the house and get back on track with the boys' day. I have less energy week by by week at the moment - I had some GREAT energy back there for a while! :) Housework tires me more, and by the time I made lunch for the boys today (11.45am, not late by any means!), my hand was shaking like crazy as I tried to spread their sandwiches with the knife, because my own blood sugar had just pregnantly "crashed" and I needed my own lunch, STAT! ;) I got theirs first, but I'm wondering if I should just drop everything and feed myself if that keeps happening? It took me a while to recover and trying to seat them and serve them was very hard with weak shakes like that, and I started to feel dizzy too. Things are definitely shifting into 3rd trimester mode for me lately, and I have to make allowances for that, I guess.
Arthur's school is going well! We did Lesson 12 of "Teach Your Child to Read in 100 Easy Lessons" today (we missed our first day in the whole thing so far, yesterday), and Arthur read his first two 4-letter words - "seed" and "seat"! He is reading 3-letter-words each day, and has learned 7 sounds now - 'm', 's', 'a', 'eee', 't', 'r', and today he learned 'd'. He's so excited about it, but he does get bored of some of the exercises, especially the very repetitive ones and the rhyming games. He just wants to READ! ;) I have had to start covering up all the words except what we're about to read, because he will jump ahead. He jumps ahead on everything we do, and is starting to miss my explanations because he's reading the next word and not listening, or something, and then he makes mistakes and gets frustrated. So I'm covering words. But then I just have to take my hand off the next word and start to say the accompanying script (yes, it's totally scripted!) and I will say two words of it before he says, "Oooh, it's got THREE sounds! sss-a-t - SAT!!" and be highly excited about it, while I'm still saying, "... so get ready to sound it out!" It sounds good, and it IS good that he's eager and able, but it can get frustrating if he isn't listening and then I have to go back over things because he needed to hear them to understand the next step or something! Tomorrow (I think?) is his
first story!! Just three words - "see me eat" with a picture of a man eating next to it :) I know he's going to be so excited about that. I have to cover the picture until he's read the "story". It's going so well. He has to write two sounds each lesson in his writing book. His writing is visibly improving already (letter formation, that is), but I still have to put the pencil in his hand right each time, because he just wants to WRITE ALREADY, and not bother with such distractions as holding the pencil in a certain way before he begins! ;) He gets a sticker for completing each lesson and when his writing is really good he gets a sticker next to his letters in his writing book. He was starting to award himself quite generously, sticker sheet in hand, haha! But I took over administering stickers and told him I won't be giving out stickers for writing every day - only when it's
especially good :) I thought the stickers would be a good added extra, and they're going down well! I ordered some from eBay this weekend - large sparkly coloured stars for the completion of each lesson, and smaller sparkly coloured smiley faces to put next to especially good work :) I'm excited like a small child about those stickers arriving, hehe!
I've also become freshly confident about teaching Arthur beyond reading, as we've progressed with teaching him to read a little. It feels like it's starting to fall into place in my head. The reading book is an accelerated learning course, and should be completed within 4 or 5 months. I will give birth and do the postpartum thing with a new baby in the middle of that time, so I expect it will take more like 5-6 months for us, even with us having lessons at weekends like we do. I will try to keep the routine going as normally as possible for the boys, but I do plan to totally REST UP for the 2 weeks that Neil has on paternity leave after the baby is born. That will stand me in the best position to pick up and continue when he goes back to work. If I attempt to do any of my usual stuff in that time, I don't think I will be as well recovered come week 3 when I'm on my own again! It's not very taxing to teach Arthur to read, and it's great one-on-one time, so I will try to continue it as often as possible during those 2 weeks, while I'm at home (if I give birth in hospital and stay any time to recover a bit), but I do want to consider the possibility that I won't manage it or something. So it might take us up to 6 months.
Which takes us to September! September 2009 is the month Arthur should be starting school if he is not being homeschooled. He turns 5 in November, so he would start school in September. I am really happy with the idea that he will be able to read fluently by then, AND it feels like a perfect smooth transition to other "school" things as the reading lessons come to an end, coinciding with September so prettily, hehe! I know we don't have to follow the school academic year, but I'm like lots of others who can just SMELL school supplies with an autumn breeze or the leaves turning, or the days shortening and the air getting cooler. School time, folks! ;) So I will be happy to get to a fresh "year" of school every September. It just feels natural! :)
In September, Arthur will have learnt to read, and just finished the lessons. So, I'm thinking after breakfast the boys will have outdoor time, and then come in and have "reading time". Reading time will consist of me hearing Arthur read as he practises from books. I won't call that "school", just "reading time", and I'll finish it with the reading out-loud that I'm doing now, from books that are older than the boys' age range (the "Little House" series right now - we just finished "Little House in the Big Woods" and we're several chapters into the 2nd book - "Little House on the Prairie", and Arthur is still loving it!). Then for actual "school" - I'm not sure when to do it. I am thinking morning would be better maybe, and switch outdoor time to the afternoon? But I like the outdoor time and a "head" activity next to each other... Anyway, that might have to be worked around things with the baby(ies!) when it comes to it. But for actual school, I can smoothly move onto teaching Arthur handwriting and spelling, from the learning to read book. He will have learned to write all his letters and sounds, and to read many many words, six or seven letters long, and complicated sentences (the last lesson is a 200-word story!!). So spelling and handwriting seem to be the next obvious (and very straightforward, hopefully!) step. I am going to spend the next few months researching a curriculum (or methods) for basic maths, although I might not add that to "school" for the first few months - we'll see. I see no need to rush anything at his age really. Reading and writing by the time he's 5 will be a great start as it is, and adding the 3rd 'r' ('rithmetic!) will be great when it seems a good time to throw it in there. It may seem like school is packed full with just handwriting and spelling at first, and I want to keep it to SHORT sessions while he's this little, like we are now (15 minutes per day at the moment, that is all!!!). If it seems like he's really ready to add more, or there's time when he'd like to keep going, I'll start the maths. I want to have it ready, to know what I'm going to teach him and how, for September just in case. Then, the only other thing I'm interested in adding to his school for when he's 5 is Nature Study. I got the idea (and fell in love with it!) from
this post at
Raising Olives (by the way, a wonderful blog with a ton of great tips and ideas for large homeschooling families!). The post explains it all, but basically it's a mish-mash of science, art, observation, writing, and research. It sounds wonderful, and something Arthur would LOVE. If I am teaching him to do Nature Study every day and reading, writing, spelling and maths every day at the age of 5, I will be very very happy and satisfied with what we are doing at school. Of course we're free to throw in spontaneous history, science, art or geography lessons at any given time ;) And take trips to places if we're able (ideally) to boost or inspire these things. And I'm thinking French, definitely, pretty early. My parents live in France and so he's already had the wonderful experience on our last visit there, of them taking him out for walks and to local shops, and having him say, "Bonjour" and "Merci" to friendly villagers, ALL of whom stop to talk to them when they're out and about, as French locals tend to do. My mum tells me he is confident in being approached and spoken to by elderly people speaking fast French! And also confident and clear-spoken saying the words she teaches him to say to them. He also understands other words in French through having heard them said to him and then my mum explaining them to him - he still remembers that everyone he meets there will give him "bees" (bises = kisses!) when he says hello or goodbye to them! :) So, French should be a given, I think, and there's no need to start early or wait either, just whenever it seems good, and not too far in the future. I can teach him a fair way since I studied it to A-level, but I'm rusty and will need to study with him eventually, I can tell! ;) My parents are eager for him to go and stay with them for holidays (maybe 2 boys at a time, they say?) for a week when he's a couple of years older. He gets on wonderfully with them, so I think that will go down very well! They're keen to socialise him with the village and have him talking to people when he's there, and they do it in a very encouraging and fun way so it will work well for him I think.
Okay, I've just realised how late it's getting and how very LONG and rambly this post is getting! I reeeeally need a drink of water too. I hope I didn't offend anyone with my ranty stuff earlier, as it wasn't intended - just an expression of irritation, or something to that effect! ;) I know I will clash with people's opinions, but hopefully it won't spark anger or protest! I'm just a-bloggin' in my blog. Feel free to ignore me if you disagree with me ;)
I NEED to post photos! And I have a ton of videos that are steadily getting out of date, just stacked up waiting to be seen! Actually I could just quickly put some of those at the end of this post, and then at least they're HERE and not waiting to be posted, even though that will make them a bit random, to say the least! Some of them are of Nathan at 13 months, doing "new" stuff, so it's now old-ish stuff and I must get those posted before it gets ridiculous!
Here's one of Arthur and Matthew that's just totally random and only a few seconds long. Arthur has used my camera to destruction - he takes photos and videos every day, and now my camera (not that old!) is not working properly. It keeps deleting photos randomly so that every time I switch it back on, more are missing than before. I have taken SUCH lovely photos of the boys (especially Nathan) over the last week and all but one or two have disappeared because the camera is broken and keeps deleting them! So, I have bought a new camera. Neil has been bugging me - bugging me, seriously! - to get a digital SLR the next time I need a new camera. He wanted me to get one the last time when I bought this camera, but I am nervous about the expense (we didn't have any money at the time anyway, and those things are EXPENSIVE!) and whether I'll justify the purchase with the way I use the camera. I used to really really want to get into photography. I was looking into courses before I got pregnant with Arthur, and when Arthur was little I was so eager to learn stuff to improve. I wanted to pack him up and go to beautiful places and take photographs and improve the skill. After Matthew, I wanted to be able to take skillful photos of the children, but had little time or energy for much else! But Neil thinks I really should take it up, and I would LOVE to as well. I feel nervous that it's an expectation if I buy a DSLR, that I should be persuing it and if I don't have time or energy then it's a wasted purchase, you know? So I was happy to buy a point-and-shoot again last time. This time, God has blessed us to be able to afford extra things and also to pay off our debt and move to a bigger home!!! I am not in the least bit surprised (I told you he would! ;) ) even though it seemed like a not-gonna-happen back when we had no income at all only a year ago! God is so wonderfully GOOD!!! :D And the camera is bust. So... I bought a digital SLR! Eeep! I researched and researched, and finally went with
Kim's review of her Sony Alpha 300. So I bought one!!! I am thinking about setting aside a little time every Friday evening to study up on the "how to"s of photography (or the camera itself - the manual could take forever to read and absorb!), because on my Motivated Moms list, one of the things to check off on Fridays is spending time on a craft or hobby. I rarely rarely check that off. So I could try to do a little photography learning or practise on Fridays, and maybe make some progress that way? I hope I can do it, because I would love to learn to use such a camera well and take (much!) better photographs.
Anyhow, my new camera is coming this week on order, yay! It doesn't have the video function that I've been used to on my point-and-shoot, so I will have to dig out the OLD video camera and find the battery charger (if this is even a possibility!) if I want to video the boys any more! Talking of videos.... Here's the one I STARTED to tell you about! ;) I was upstairs putting Nathan down for a nap. I was only gone a few minutes that time, and later in the evening when I was looking through the stuff on the camera, I found this tiny little clip. It made me smile, and being TINY it uploaded quickly, so here it is :)
Here's little Nathan at 13 months (he's FIFTEEN months now, as of Easter weekend!! That's one and a quarter! Aaaahhh! He's growing up so fast!), just bumbling about, dancing a bit and "singing" to the Kathryn Scott's "Thank you for the cross" :) If the starting picture below shows it sideways on, that's not how the video is! I don't know why it's showing isdeways on, but anyway.
This one was taken the same afternoon. Nathan was helping me fold (haha!) the tumble dry load, and I finally managed to get him on video doing his new (at the time) thing of understanding me when I ask him to put some item of dirty laundry in the kitchen (we process and sort in the kitchen - everything goes over the safety gate in the kitchen doorway to be processed). It was CLEAN, but never mind! ;)
Nathan again at 13 months, playing with "drums" and things in the kitchen while the older two were outside in the garden burning off energy! Lately (just this past week or so) I have started letting Nathan out in the garden with the older two. We found a red ants nest on the grass today. Not good! So I didn't let him stay out long today. But before, he used to play in the kitchen like this, or opening and shutting cupboards and rearranging their contents (!) while I did kitchen-related housework or made dinner:
This last one is Nathan walking, at 13.5 months. I hadn't taken any videos of him walking since he first started, and I wanted a comparison for a couple of months later (he started at 11.5 months). Obviously this is pretty out of date now - I wish I'd posted it at the time, tsk! - he's trying to RUN now, and do funny little attempts and jumping and dancing with his brothers (sooooo cute!), but oh well - here it is now anyway. He's a sweet little pea pickle! :)
Okay, VERY last one, I promise! ;)
This is a short little clip of the boys one morning when I was feeling exhausted. I put some worship music on and told the boys I was going to lie on the sofa for a few minutes. To my amazement, they stopped whatever game it was they were playing, both headed for the bookshelves, selected books, and went over to the sofa to sit and read! They didn't say a word, the just did it! I didn't suggest it or anything. When Arthur finished a book, he handed it to Matthew, who looked at that one while Arthur read another one he got from the shelf, and so on. They did this for like 20 minutes!!! Nathan climbed on me and chatted :) I just lay there amazed, and finally grabbed the camera to capture it for the record! Now, it's not that amazing at all, because they love to do this most days. They have a LOT of books so it can last a while! ;) It's lovely. And lovelier still, Nathan joins in and often they're in a little row, all consumed by their story books, Nathan just as much as the others, though he often holds the books upside-down, bless him! ;) Often it's just Nathan and Matthew who decide to read together for a while. I have photos, but not this time. I'll be back soon, I promise!
