The boys are being BOYS today, and for some reason I struggle with this! I need to let go more, but it's so unnatural to me (I'm a GIRL, remember?! ;) ). They are constantly yelling and shouting and bashing things. They are also being really rude and disrespectful to me today, so they've spent a good amount of time already in their various discipline zones, while I've pumped up some louder-than-average volume Chris Tomlin worship and tried to down out all the RUDE RUDENESS being yelled at me through the porch/kitchen door. *sigh* But, they stay till they are willing to cut that out, and apologise, and even then they stay a good bit longer till *I* feel like letting them back. The worship music helps me. Otherwise I get so pull-my-own-skin-off-ish with their antics!
We built a huge wooden train track and they played with that for a long while, and Nathan is learning to drive trains around the track and through the tunnels (much to the older boys' relief!). After that, Arthur and Matthew wrestled and wrestled and wrestled on the sofa, and seemed so aggressive that it bothered me! But, where's the line? I know NOTHING about parenting boys, it seems, even though I have amassed a good few of them as my own! ;) If they start to wrestle even a bit, my gut wants to tell them to stop being aggressive with each other. But, I recognise that they're boys and they need that kind of play. I just have nooooo idea of where the line should be, or if there should be one. And I have to work on de-jangling my nerves while they do it, if I'm going to allow them to! It drives me crazy! I can't bear aggression around me, even play aggression! I need to learn to live with that, I think!
So, this morning, the boys wrestled for an incredibly long time, testosterone could practically be scooped out of the air, and meanwhile I slowly lost my remaining thread of sanity and put Nathan's hair in pretty bunches.
Yes, folks. It can't be denied any longer. This mama needs a DAUGHTER (even though she adores her little boys!).
11 comments:
Awww poor boy ;) LOL! Anyway let me tell you, 4 boys & 1 girl and that girl is so much harder to deal with on her own than all the boys are together!!!!
Nathan does make quite a cute little girl though!
Hahahaha! I'm not the only one then! ;) Before Jamie had his first proper 'big boy' haircut I *and* my Mum have given him ponytails. bunches and ribbons. He learned to say 'pretty' because of that, hehe! Nathan looks adorable. :)
Nathan definitely makes an adorable little girl!! But let me tell you.. my daughter is sooo much harder to deal with than my boys are. But I loved it when she would allow me to dress her in frilly dresses and put pretty bows in her hair.. and then she'd walk over and beat up one of her brother's in her prissy clothes. HeeHee!
My rule for my boys playing together (and my girl goes in on it sometimes, too!) is that as long as everybody is having fun, AND the inside house volume stays where it is supposed to, then they are free to wrestle and play. If, however, one person is NOT having fun, then it has become an issue of bullying/insensitivity and it must stop immediately. As long as everybody is enjoying it, I let them just be boys. (And I probably have to close my eyes sometimes, because boy they get rough, too!!)
This only works because we have inside noise levels, and outside noise levels. They are not allowed to run around screaming, because that's rude for other people living in the house. They can get reasonably rowdy, but if they get too loud, they are sent outside where it is acceptable to scream their heads off! Ha! I think it's fine to teach them that there are certain behaviors that are appropriate at different times and in different places, wrestling and being loud fall into that. You don't want to change who they are, you just want to teach them self control when it is required of them. They shouldn't make it impossible for you to think, or for you to have an adult conversation, or whatever. If they do, then they are running the house, not you.
Anyway, that's just the way we cope with it around here. If they are driving you batty, I think it would be fine to lay down some new rules. It doesn't mean they have to act like girls and play all quiet or anything. This is just a great opportunity to teach them how to respect other people around them with the way they play . Does that make sense? They are very bright boys, and I bet they're more capable of self control in that way than you think. Give it a try! :)
Love yas-- Shannon
Oh, Alice I'd forgotten all about that "wanting a girl" pang I had!! I adore my 2 boys but found myself covetting all things girly, frilly and pink :) Now that my girl is here, she hardly ever is dressed like that, lol! Nathan gives a good indication of how cute any future girl babies will be doesn't he?
What an obliging little cutie pie! Made ME broody for a girl too!
What excellent advice from Shannon - I think I'll take it too. My two (boys) are suddenly all about wrestling and rolling about and yelling fit to bust, and I find it difficult too. I tend to draw the line when I think one is being hurt. Then I noticed that one is always Nicky, and actually he had a FINE line in crying wolf going on!!! And poor Jamie gets yelled at...
It's hard work, this mommy lark :-)
Oh my word, Alice, you are hilarious! I can't believe you gave Nathan piggy tails! :)
I'm such an awful blogging friend. I read blogs when I get a minute here and there, and I always come to your blog and think "wow, that's a long post! I'd better save that for later". :) I need to get caught up on your blog. I've enjoyed the pictures that you've been posting though! I'll try to do better about reading/commenting. :)
Hehehe! That's so cute!
Ha! He's going to love you for that photo when he's 15 and all sensitive and hormonal...Truly though, I don't know how you cope, sometimes I run out of patience and there's only me, the husband and a dog in the house! I'm in awe of you managing to keep control of a household AND 3 wee boys while being pregnant. Don't be in too much of a hurry for a girl, they might be lovely when they're small but I remember me and my friends during our teenage years and there's no denying that teenage girls are an utter nightmare!
Awww....those are too funny.
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